Miranda the pink beast
Severus had to wait in the garden, while Lily and Potter went back inside to discuss the new information with each other. He guessed that was fair and decided to snack his way through Lily’s berry bushes while he waited. He especially enjoyed the currants, not because he liked them and more because he knew that they were Potter’s and Black’s favourites and they would not get to eat them anymore now.
After some time, he got bored and decided to sit next to the chestnut tree again. He rested his head against the tree’s rough bark and closed his eyes, like he had so often done in his childhood when Lily and him had talked about Hogwarts. He missed that time. He missed it so much...
Suddenly the door flew open again and Severus quickly jumped to his feet. Lily stood in the light of the house, a deranged look on her face. She held a bag in each hand. Behind her James left the house, Harry strapped to his chest and dragging a big trunk behind him. Both of them wore muggle clothing and corncob shaped base caps with the logo of “Happy corn! England’s cheeriest corn museum and tourist trap”. “Severus, come on, we are leaving! Follow us to the car!”, Lilly jelled, her green eyes glowing. “The... the car?”, Severus stammered confused. “Yes, the car! You don’t actually think, that I will leave you here, right? Not only will you know who kill you, if you actually betrayed him, you also saw Harry and know of our plan, if you didn’t. You are coming with us. Come on, quick!”, she ordered.
Severus frustratedly shoved his hands into his pockets and stalked after them. A road trip with James fucking Potter had really not been on his wish list. His distaste turned to dread as soon as he saw the death-machine that Lily had called a car. The thing was pink, rusty on several edges, covered in embarrassing flower stickers and smelled like cheap incense sticks. It was a lot, most of all embarrassing, but calling it a car would have been an insult to all cars. “Lily, what in the name of Merlin’s underpants is that? Where did you even get that from?”, Severus asked, the fear evident in his voice.
Lily giggled and threw her bags into the trunk of the so-called car. “Oh, Miranda? She used to belong to my parents. They drove her around in their Hippie era. Sometimes, when Tuni and I were young, they took us on holiday in her. The old girl was a wedding gift!”, Severus’s former best friend cheered. Severus did remember Lily’s tales of the old Hippie van her parents owned, but he had never seen it with his own eyes. And honestly, he had always imagined it a lot less... awful.
“That’s... that’s Miranda? You told me she was beautiful! This thing is... I don’t know what it is, but it is not beautiful! And it is also very easy to spot! Do you really think the dark lord will not find it? Damn it, he would probably find it, even if he tried to look away! That paintjob is so bright, it causes eye-cancer! This... car... is a beacon of muggelish dread!”, Severus called out. Lily glared at him. “Don’t be so dramatic, get in the car!”, she called out, while taking her son from James and strapping him into his car seat. “Vroom! Vroom!”, Harry cheered. James chuckled and handed his son a lion plush that the child promptly chewed on.
“Come on, Snivellous, get into the car. You can be super happy, that lovely Lily decided not to hand you over to Crouch. I would have ditched you on the doorstep of the ministry tied up, if Lily hadn’t insisted on taking you along.”, James hissed as he sat down in the passenger seat. Severus slipped into the seat behind Lily, next to Harry and tried to ignore the rancid smell the van was filled with.
Lily let the engine roar and the van shot out of the Potter’s garage and it swayed onto the road, squeaking dangerously. Severus’s body tilted to the side, to Harry, who happily grabbed his hair and started to chew on it cheerily. Feeling nauseous Severus freed his black strands and sat up straight again, as Lily kicked Miranda’s gas padel to the ground, letting the pink nightmare lurch onto a dark country road. The rusty, pink left sideview mirror fell to the ground. “Upsis!”, Lily giggled. James laughed.
Oh, this could not get worse.