A Cup of Tea
November 10th, 1981
There was a soft knock at the front door. Regulus was standing in the kitchen, a book pressed between his hands as a kettle was brewing on the stove. Regulus, upon hearing the sound, lifted his head from his reading and set the book gently down on the counter next to the stove. He moved from the kitchen smoothly, making his way towards the front door.
Ever since he was a child, nothing had been moved around – no furniture, no nothing – and Regulus had memorized each corner meticulously. He could find his way around the house with his eyes closed if need be. Nevertheless, he found himself at the front door, and just to be safe, he peered through the peephole, feeling his body overcome with surprise when he found none other than Remus standing there.
Regulus stepped back from the door, fingers curling around the handle as he pulled it back open. It really was Remus standing there, but his eyebrows were drawn together, like he had just been told some disturbing knew. Regulus felt his stomach clench.
“Remus,” he breathed, the name, a whisper. Remus lifted his head to meet Regulus’ gaze, his eyes widening a little.
“I’m sorry to show up unannounced-”
“No, no, come in.” Regulus stepped back and waved Remus in. When he obeyed, Regulus shut the door behind him. “What brings you here?”
Remus seemed to shutter as he wiped his feet on the front mat. The weather was cooling down and Regulus wasn’t pleased with how quickly the leaves were falling. He could be perfectly content if it stayed fall all year round. The colors, the scents, almost everything about the season brought him comfort.
“Er- You might want to sit down for this.” Regulus nodded before he led Remus through a skinny hallway to the back of the house, where the kitchen lay. As soon as he stepped foot inside the room, Regulus’ kettle began to whistle, alarming him.
“Why don’t you take a seat? I’ll pour us a cup of tea,” Regulus offered, already making his way towards the stove. Remus hummed in agreement and a few minutes later, the two were sitting across from one another, a steaming cup of tea placed in front of both. Regulus lifted his cup to his lips when Remus began speaking.
“Have you heard about J-” Remus started, but Regulus immediately cut him off, slamming his cup down on the table more harshly than he had intended to.
“Please. Don’t say his name. I know. I was there,” Regulus uttered, the words almost unbearable to admit. Remus recoiled.
“What do you mean you were there?”
“I went to their house,” Regulus whispered, swallowing hard, “I- I found them. Harry, he’s-”
“Gone.” Regulus shook his head, eyes dropping down towards the table. He had spent the early years of his life memorizing every line in this table. He had named each crack and crevice in the wood whilst his parents had screamed at him as he disconnected from reality, everything but those cracks fading into the background.
“No.”
“No? What do you mean no?” Remus asked, body pressed forwards against the table. Regulus flicked his eyes up for a brief second and found his friend looking at him with pure desperation enveloping his features.
“He’s here. I have him. He’s safe.” Upon hearing this, Remus seemed to relax. He let his body fall back into his chair.
“Are you serious?” Remus asked, raising his voice a little. Regulus’ head shot up and his gaze narrowed on Remus.
“Yes, and he’s sleeping upstairs right now so can you please keep your voice down?” Remus shifted in his chair, a blank look in his eyes. The information was a lot to process. Regulus knew that it mustn’t have been easy. He, himself, was struggling to face the facts. He hadn’t thought about…Harry’s father, or much less uttered his name since he had returned from Godric’s Hallow.
“Sorry,” Remus quickly apologized, shaking his head, “So, I’m assuming you’ve heard about Sirius then.” Regulus squinted and tilted his head to the side, confused.
“No,” Regulus admitted, “I haven’t. I’ve been trying to track him down. I know- Would want- Um- Sirius should be the one to look after Harry. Not me.” As Regulus uttered the words, Remus’ eyes appeared to flood with tears, his normal, stoic demeanor replaced by that troubled look that Regulus had seen when he first had opened the door.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Remus mumbled before adding, “Plus, I don’t think he’ll be looking out after anyone but himself for a long time.” Regulus’ eyebrows furrowed together even more.
“What do you mean?”
Remus sucked in a sharp breath that echoed throughout the kitchen, a hesitation, before saying, “He’s the one who sold them out, Regulus.”
Regulus’ eyes widened to the size of saucers.
“No.”
“It’s true.”
“You’re wrong,” Regulus shot back, his chest rising and falling heavily with an internal panic. Remus shook his head, as if he didn’t want to believe it himself. Who could swallow news like that? Sirius would never do something like that.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to believe it, but at least face the reality,” Remus said bitterly, and Regulus knew that sourness wasn’t directed at him, “Sirius has been locked up.”
“Locked up?” Regulus asked, now it being his turn to press his body into the table, craning forwards, “Where?”
Remus lifted his head to meet Regulus’ gaze once more and the clear-as-day longing in his eyes pierced right through to Regulus’ heart.
“Where do you think?”
“Oh.” Regulus’ mouth felt dry, even though he had been taking small sips of the tea throughout the duration of the conversation. Despite that, it felt like he had spent several days out in the desert, drying up in the suffocating heat, and was desperate for a single drop of water now.
“You know what this means, don’t you?” Remus asked, and when Regulus shook his head, Remus continued with, “It means that leaves you to care for Harry, Regulus.”
“No- No, wait,” Regulus said, sitting up straight in his seat, needing some other sort of solution. “What about you? Can’t you take him?”
“I loved James,” Remus said, shaking his head again, “But I can’t care for a child, much less his.”
“Why not?” Regulus hated the way that he was begging now. If there was one thing that he wasn’t, it was weak and all the pleading he was doing for Remus to take this child was making him feel exactly that.
“Are you really asking that?” Remus asked, bewildered. Regulus’ mind flashed to the late nights at Hogwarts that he had stayed up with Harry’s father, comforting him on a full moon. He had been worried sick about Remus, wanting to go after him, but it wasn’t safe. It was painful for everyone involved and Regulus had been there every single full moon, comforting the boy that he loved.
“Sorry,” Regulus quickly apologized, shaking his head, “I know. It was a stupid question.” A beat of silence passed between the boys, and they shared a lingering look during the pause.
“What are you going to do then?” Remus asked finally. Regulus tipped his head back, his longing gaze falling towards the ceiling. In the room above them, Harry was sleeping away soundly. Regulus couldn’t help but think about how the child needed to be protected.
“What choice do I have?” Regulus answered, his voice soft and calculated, “I have to lookout for him. He has no one left but me. I won’t abandon him the way that Sirius abandoned me.” The last sentence had slipped past Regulus’ lips before he could stop it and as he brought his gaze back down, he didn’t miss the way that Remus flinched.
“I’m sorry. That was harsh. How are you handling this all without him?” Regulus asked with a sigh. Sirius had been everything to Remus and vice versa. The separation would have eaten Regulus alive if it had been him and Harry’s father. Although, those thoughts were just dreams now, a distant shadow of the past, of what could have been.
“I can’t believe that he would do something like that. It doesn’t make any sense,” Remus whispered, and Regulus had the feeling that it was more to himself than anyone else, “He loved James. Why would he do something like that?”
“I don’t know, Remus. Maybe they made him do it.” Regulus felt a lump forming in the back of his throat. Even uttering those words made him sick to his stomach. He may not have gotten on with his brother as well as he should have, but that didn’t mean Sirius wasn’t a good person.
Remus rolled out his shoulders and took a long sip from his tea, setting his jaw.
“Well, if he did do it, I’m glad that he’s locked up. If he did it, then good riddance. He got what he deserved.”
“I’m sorry things ended this way,” Regulus said solemnly. Remus met Regulus’ gaze and shot him a sad smile.
“Me too. Are you going to be alright?”
Even though Regulus was shaking his head, he answered, instead, with, “I have a baby to take care of now. I have to be.”
The truth hung in the air like a death sentence. It wasn’t that Regulus didn’t want to care for Harry. He would give anything for that boy. In truth, Regulus was terrified, terrified of messing up Harry the way that his parents had done with him. Regulus’ train of thought was derailed by Remus bringing himself up and onto his feet.
“I should be going now,” he muttered. Regulus blinked plainly a few times.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. It’d be good for me to go. I look around and see Sirius everywhere. I need to get out before I start considering breaking him out,” Remus admitted with a soft chuckle. Regulus found himself smiling slightly and stood up as well.
“Well, good luck, Regulus,” Remus finalized, holding his hand out for Regulus to shake, “If there’s anything you need, you know where to find me.” Regulus returned the handshake and a gave Remus a simple nod.
“I will. And Remus?” Regulus asked, as his friend was already turning to leave. Remus paused mid-step and threw his glance over his shoulder.
“Yeah?”
“Thanks for telling me.” Remus’ face softened and he shot Regulus one last smile before turning and disappearing from the kitchen. Regulus’ eyes fell to the table, to the, now, two cool cups of tea. They hadn’t drunk much, although with what they were discussing, there was little room for an appetite.
The sound of the front door clinking close echoed throughout the house, startling Regulus a bit. He jumped a little before chuckling softly to himself and shaking his head.
In Remus’ absence, Regulus couldn’t help but be glad for being informed. He couldn’t imagine anyone but the boy who loved his brother more than anything else being the one to tell him about Sirius. He also knew it couldn’t have been easy. Remus and Sirius had been inseparable for years. When had everything gone so horribly awry?
Nevertheless, Regulus was infinitely grateful that Remus had come to visit. It healed his heart a little to see a friend, especially the one who Regulus had gone to when needed to rant about boy problems. Remus understood and he always listened. It was ironic now that Remus had returned to inform him that that boy was dead.
When it was discovered that Regulus had received the dark mark, almost everyone – even Sirius, his own brother – had turned against him and called him a traitor. Remus was the only person who hadn’t. The only one who saw Regulus for what he truly was: a scared, little boy. Remus knew what it meant to be a monster, to fight for your sanity day in and day out. Remus understood.
~×~
Something wasn’t sitting right with Regulus. The second that Remus had left, Regulus had felt it, that ever-growing pit in his stomach that told him something was off. He had spent the entire afternoon pacing around the house, burning a hole in the ground, trying to put his finger on what it was. But the longer that Regulus sat around thinking about it, the more the feeling and his anxiety grew. Regulus knew that he wasn’t going to be able to get any answers with the method that he was taking. He needed to ask someone, and he knew exactly who.
Regulus quickly tracked down Kreacher, finding him dusting off some bookshelves in the study and ordered him to keep an eye on Harry, informing him that he would be back later that night. Then, Regulus spun on a heel and marched into his room to retrieve the items that he needed, those being his wand, a pair of leather gloves, and of course, his long, onyx hued coat. When Regulus was ready, he disapparated, right there, in the middle of his room.
Regulus apparated seconds later in front of a large pair of black, iron gates. Two guards stood at each side of the gates; eyes narrowed in on Regulus the second that he appeared. Regulus approached the men with caution, holding his hands in the air, a sign that he hoped they would take as nonthreatening. Unfortunately, as Regulus neared, the men were quick to draw their wands. Regulus stopped a few feet in front of them, hands still in the air.
“Calm down, gentlemen,” Regulus remarked with a slight smirk tugging at his lips, “I’m only here to see my cousin.” It wasn’t necessarily a lie. The men exchanged a silent glance with one another before one of the guards – the one, much older looking, with a bushy, dark beard – stepped forward. The tip of his wand pressed into Regulus’ chest; however, he didn’t flinch. He didn’t even bat an eye. He was used to this type of greeting.
“And who would that be?” The man asked gruffly. Regulus wanted to roll his eyes, but he refrained.
“Lucius Malfoy.” Regulus wanted to add, ‘who the fuck else would I be here to see’ but he decided against that as well. As much as Regulus loved teasing the guards when he had the time for it, he knew they meant business, and it would only piss Lucius off more than Regulus knew he would already be for him showing up unannounced. Regulus needed Lucius to be as…accommodating as possible to get the answers that he needed.
The guards shared one last glance with one another before shrugging. They stepped to the sides with a shrug and the gates were swinging slowly open a moment later.
“Thank you,” Regulus remarked, all sing-songy as he tipped his head to each of the men before stepping through and making the long trek up the road to the house. Regulus scuffed his feet along the ground as he walked, and as he rounded a corner, Malfoy Manor, came into view, a beacon of darkness between the woods that it sat in. The house was grander that anything Regulus had ever lived in. He guessed that was the kind of treatment you received when you were the only one of three daughters to not marry a muggle-born wizard or go insane. Talk about quickly becoming the favorite child.
Before Regulus knew it, he was walking up the front steps of the house. He pulled off his leather gloves and shoved them into his pockets before knocking delicately on the door. There was a few beats of silence before one of the large doors began swinging open, pulled back by a small house-elf named Dobby.
“Master Regulus!” Dobby exclaimed, sporting a smile the second that his eyes landed on Regulus.
“Hello Dobby,” Regulus returned charmingly, “It’s good to see you.”
“You as well, Master Regulus. What brings you here today?” Regulus pursed his lips before answering.
“I’m here to see Lucius.” Dobby cringed, clearly affected by merely hearing the name of the evil man. Dobby threw a glance over his shoulder, panic flooding his eyes.
“He’s a very busy man. Maybe now might not be the best-”
“Dobby,” Regulus cut in quickly, a tinge of desperation lacing his voice, “It’s important that I speak with him. Will you go retrieve him for me? I’ll make sure any anger he feels is aimed towards me, not you.” Regulus hoped that the reassurance would convince the little house-elf to let him in. It was important that he retrieved answers from Lucius. That he had not been lying about.
“Alright, Master Regulus. As you please.” Dobby bowed his head as he stepped aside and let Regulus enter the house. As soon as Regulus was inside, Dobby shut the front doors behind them and offered a seat in the front room, which Regulus politely declined, stating that it wouldn’t take long, and then Dobby was disappearing into one of the backrooms of the house to retrieve Lucius. As Regulus stood there, he couldn’t help but think about how cold and dark it was inside of the Malfoy Manor. He shuttered.
Regulus could hear Lucius before he could see him, loudly reprimanding Dobby for pulling him away from his work. Then, Dobby and Lucius rounded a corner, but Lucius still hadn’t clocked that Regulus was standing there yet.
“Cousin!” Regulus exclaimed, walking across the room, and approaching him, plastering a fake smile on his lips. Lucius whipped around upon hearing Regulus’ voice, eyebrows drawing together.
“Regulus?” Lucius asked, confusion lacing his voice, “What are you doing here?” Regulus stopped a few feet away from Lucius with a shrug.
“What? Can a boy not come visit his cousin when he pleases?” Lucius frowned, obviously unimpressed.
“Uh huh. What really brings you here?” Lucius asked, carefully folding his arms over his chest. Regulus noted then that Dobby had since disappearing back into the house, most likely wanting to stay as far away as possible. Regulus swallowed hard. It was time to get down to business now.
“There’s something that I need to ask you.”
“And that is?” Lucius questioned, arching an eyebrow. Regulus felt a shiver run down his spine and he tried to not let it show. He took a nonchalant step to the side, drawing his eyes up the wall of the room, eyes glossing over paintings of some family members who had long since passed.
“I’m sure you’ve heard of the recent death of the Potters,” Regulus stated all matter-of-factly. He stopped in front of a small black table and picked up a piece of décor – a small glass ball – and twirled it around in his hands, waiting for an answer.
“Yes. What of it?” Lucius replied after a long moment of silence. Regulus was about to ask his next question, setting the glass ball back down on the table and spinning his body back towards Lucius, when his cousin suddenly added, “Wait. You were friends with one of them... James, was it?” Regulus felt his blood run cold and before he could stop himself, he was lunging forwards. With one hand, he latched onto Lucius wrist and pulled their bodies together, and with the other, his wand now drawn, he pressed the tip threateningly into his cousin’s neck. Regulus was breathing heavy. He might have been much smaller in stature than Lucius, but he was fearless and not as fragile as he appeared to be.
Lucius, eyes drawn wide with shock, howled with laughter. “You’re hesitating, Reggie.”
If Regulus’ blood wasn’t boiling before then it sure as hell was now.
“Don’t fucking call me that,” Regulus sneered, pressing the tip of his wand deeper into Lucius’ neck. Lucius shook his head, a smirk still plastered on his face. It only pissed Regulus off more that he hadn’t been able to wipe that look off when he had grabbed him.
“You’re not going to kill me,” Lucius said, his eyes narrowing on Regulus as another chuckle slipped past his lips. Regulus bit the inside of his cheek, an attempt to draw some attention away from the anger that he was feeling. But it was too late. He was already too far gone.
“You’re right,” Regulus remarked, now sporting a smirk of his own, “I’m going to make you suffer. Watch me.” Lucius appeared to falter for a single moment, jerking slightly against Regulus’ tight grip, an action which was beyond futile.
“You’re no killer, Regulus,” Lucius said, the smirk falling from his lips. Regulus took this as a sign that he was finally being taken seriously and as a real threat.
“Everybody’s got to start somewhere,” Regulus shot crudely. Lucius seemed to deflate a little more at this.
“You don’t even know what you’re doing,” Lucius began to ramble, “You’re too young to understand the gravity of what we’re trying to do.” Regulus scoffed.
“James is dead. I know exactly what I’m doing.” It was the first time that Regulus had dared to utter his name since the death. It was something that he hadn’t intended to happen as the word slipping past his lips felt like an arrow piercing his heart, but it happened, nonetheless. There would be no taking it back now.
But now Lucius was smirking again. “Oh, so it was a little more than friendship, was it now? But he married, Lily. Interesting. Very interesting.” Regulus tightened his grip and Lucius let out a soft choking sound.
“I will kill you right fucking here and now,” Regulus warned gravely, “Don’t fucking temp me.”
“What is it you’re asking, Regulus?”
“Who sold them out?”
“Concerned about your brother, are we? Well, they caught him, didn’t they? I don’t believe that’s much of a question.” Regulus questioned then how much Lucius valued his life. The answers he was giving seemed to suggest that he didn’t.
“Sirius didn’t do it,” Regulus said, spitting out each of the words bitterly.
“Then, I’m afraid I’m no use to you if that’s what you believe. You might as well kill me right now because I know as much as you do.”
“Liar.”
“Does it look like I’m lying?” As Regulus studied his cousin’s face, he realized that he could detect no signs of fear. Signs that would clearly be evident if Lucius had been lying. As much as Regulus hated to admit it, his cousin was telling the truth, which to his disappointment, meant that he needed to stand down.
Regulus, letting out a breath that he didn’t know he had been holding in, stepped back, releasing Lucius from his grip. Lucius let out a loud gasp for air as a hand flew to his throat. He was doubled over with a cough whilst Regulus had already spun around and was heading for the door.
“You’re going to pay for this, Regulus! You blood traitor!” Lucius called out after him, his voice strained. Regulus said nothing in return, keeping his eyes focused forwards as he stormed from Malfoy Manor, fury still laced in his veins.