The First Body
November 11th, 1981
To say Regulus was handling James’ death well would be to tell the biggest fucking lie ever. The dead body currently at his feet was proof of that. Regulus’ hadn’t killed the man, per say. Although, he hadn’t necessarily done anything to coax the man off the roof when he spotted him standing on the ledge as he walked down the street. Regulus had merely ducked into the alley and watched as the man battled with his own mind before eventually tumbling down to the ground. Now, there his lifeless body lay, unmoving. With the way that the ground around his body was soaked with blood, Regulus had a feeling that the man had died on impact. Regulus stepped out from the shadows; eyes focused intently on the man. It was so strange, watching the life drain from his eyes. Had James looked like that? Or had he gone faster?
Regulus was thankful for the light drizzle. It muted the blood the soaked the ground and washed the scattered pieces of brain away into a nearby drain. Regulus knew that he should have been repulsed by the whole ordeal, but he wasn’t. If anything, he was intrigued. One could even say thrilled. Regulus reached out a hand. He just wanted to see if the body was still warm. How long did take a body to go cold? Did it happen the second their soul faded away?
“Saw him go down too?” A voice had Regulus jerking back from the body, retracting his arm as quickly as he had outstretch it. Regulus snapped his head around and found himself being approached by a person dressed in a long, tan trench coat. However, it wasn’t their attire that immediately caught Regulus’ attention. No, it was their hair – long albeit spiky and platinum blonde, except for the tips which had been dyed a brilliant shade of blue. Regulus had ever seen anything like it before. It was striking. They were striking.
“What?” Regulus asked, too caught off guard to hear the first question.
“Tragic, isn’t it?” The person remarked, eyes narrowed in on Regulus and not at all on the body as they spoke. Regulus wasn’t sure he liked the way that the person was taking slow, careful steps towards him. He resisted the urge to step back and frowned instead.
“That’s certainly one word for it,” Regulus muttered. The person’s eyebrows instantly shot up, their face quickly shifting to pure surprise and delight.
“Oh, so you’re one of the crazies?” Regulus gave the person a glance over and scoffed.
“I’m not fucking insane if that’s what you’re asking.” The person pursed their lips, but it wasn’t enough to hide the smirk that promptly took residency on their lips.
“So, you just watch men commit suicide for fun then?” Regulus was taken aback by the way that this person was talking to him, so confidently and openly. Regulus knew that he came off as an arrogant, bastard, but this person was on a whole other level. No one had ever spoken to him like this before. Even his own more had been more reserved.
“Fuck you.” The person chuckled softly. They slipped a hand out from the pocket of their trench coat and extended it out to Regulus.
“I’m Virdis, by the way.”
“And I’m done talking to you,” Regulus spat and spun on a heel, starting down the alleyway, head lowered, his own hands finding their ways to his pockets. Regulus clenched his jaw as soon as he heard the soft patter of footsteps trailing after him. It was only a moment before Virdis came up beside him, matching his pace. Regulus stopped dead in his tracks and turning, instantly resorting to shooting daggers with his eyes at them.
“Are you following me?”
“I’m merely engaging in a civil conversation with a new friend.”
“We are not friends. Go away.” Regulus turned once more and started on his way again. Yet, just as it happened before, Virdis quickly caught up and began striding alongside him once more. Regulus stopped walking and Virdis did the same.
“Will you stop following me?!” Regulus asked, his voice elevated. He set his jaw. He hated the way that Virdis was still smirking at him. He also hated the fact that Virdis also had to have been at least a foot taller than him with the way that he had to look up to meet their gaze.
“Glady, you just have to tell me something.” Regulus rolled his eyes.
“And why would I do that?”
“Because you want to know what I have to say.” Regulus fell silent, not entirely sure as how to respond. In truth, he could have cared less about what Virdis had to say. Of, course that was until they mentioned that it would be something that he would want to hear. Now, he couldn’t help but be intrigued. Finally, Virdis asked, “Would you have done it?”
Regulus felt himself rear back a little. “Done what?”
“Pushed him,” Virdis replied all matter-of-factly, “I know your kind when I see them. I can see it in your eyes. You’ve been hurt.”
“And how would that be any of your business?”
“It’s not. And look, I might not know your name or who the hell you are, but I know exactly what you’ll become. Mark my words.”
“Thank you. Being psychoanalyzed is exactly how I wanted to spend my time today,” Regulus snidely remarked. Like this person could know the first thing about him from a brief conversation.
“You didn’t answer my question,” Virdis said, tipping their head slightly to the side.
Regulus’ frown deepened. “Didn’t I?”
“No.” Regulus studied Virdis’ face. He realized now that the only way he was going to be able to get rid of them was by answering the question. He pursed his lips, knowing he couldn’t back down now.
“Fine,” he said after a deafening paused, “Yes.” Virdis instantly broke out into a grin.
“I knew it!” It was almost as if Virdis was thrilled to find out that Regulus had thought about killing someone. And they were the one who was calling him crazy just a few minutes prior?
“That doesn’t mean shit,” Regulus said flatly, but Virdis was already shaking their head.
“For now. But I see you. So, once again, I’ll introduce myself. I’m Virdis Keres,” they said, and Regulus quickly discovered that they were extending their hand out to him again. Regulus didn’t like this person at all. In fact, all they had done was manage to piss him off. He folded his arms across his chest, narrowing his eyes.
“Your name is dumb.” Virdis didn’t even flinch, just kept on grinning.
“Thanks, I picked it out myself. And yours is?” Their hand was still extended out to him. Regulus felt his gaze flick from their face to their hand. In that moment, some demon must have possessed him because the next thing he knew, he was shaking their hand with a sigh.
“I’m Regulus. Regulus Black.”
~×~
November 15th, 1981
Regulus cradled baby Harry in his arms, rocking the small child back and forth. He had dozed off a few minutes prior, but Regulus hadn’t been able to put him back down in his crib just yet. Every time he held Harry, he could feel his chest burst with love. Nothing, no one, except for James had ever made him feel this way. It was bizarre, willing to give your entire life up for the sake of another. This was new, a foreign concept to Regulus.
With a soft sigh, Regulus set Harry down in his crib and raked a finger delicately across the child’s brow. He was so tiny. Regulus pulled his hand back, suddenly, pressing it to his chest as he tore his eyes away from the crib. He swallowed, a lump forming in his throat, and took a few steps back. Regulus was still adjusting to the idea of raising a child. The thoughts of that had overwhelmed his thoughts of James, thankfully. Nevertheless, Regulus couldn’t help but believe that every day he spent with this child, was a day what he could potentially mess him up. And that terrified Regulus more than he would ever care to admit. He didn’t want Harry to turn out like him.
Regulus turned his back to the crib and glanced around the room, feelings of nostalgia filling him. It had been his nursery a mere 18 years ago. The black and white wallpaper had faded with time, but most everything else had stayed the same. That was his mother’s doing. She couldn’t handle change, said that the nursey reminded her of a better time, when she still saw her children as perfect, and not the disappointments that they were now. Regulus frowned bitterly at the memory. He had only been eight years old when she had said that to him. Regulus had never forgotten it.
He stepped across the room, towards the corner where a black armchair that faced the crib laid and took a seat. Two of his fingers found their way to his lips as he let out a sigh. Besides those of Harry, the other thoughts that had plagued his mind were that of his interaction with Virdis. They had surely proved to be an interesting character, and yet their words still rung throughout Regulus’ mind.
Would you do it?
I know your kind when I see them.
I know exactly what you’ll become.
Although Regulus was still weirded out by the whole ordeal, he couldn’t help but find the truth in what Virdis had said. Regulus thought back to the time that he and Sirius had found a dead rabbit out in the backyard. They had been running around, playing a dumb little game, when Sirius had tripped over it. Sirius was mortified, of course. Another, larger, creature must have gotten to the animal because its stomach had been ripped open, viscera spilling onto the grass. Regulus, on the other hand, had wanted to pick the rabbit it, but his brother had prevented him from doing so.
The memory burned in the back of Regulus’ brain. Maybe he did always have a macabre obsession with death. Maybe he was just realizing that now. Although an interest in a subject matter was very different from participating in it. Regulus wasn’t a killer, yet that didn’t stop him from going to back to the conversation. He had told Virdis that he would have pushed the man if he had been given the chance. But that was normal, right? Everyone wanted to know what it felt like to have the power of life or death in their hands, to have the power of a god.
That was normal. Regulus was normal.
Regulus, clearing his mind of all thoughts, swiftly pushed himself from the chair and silently made his way out of the nursery. From there, he walked to the bathroom. Closing the door and locking it, he stared at himself in the mirror. There were dark purple bags under his eyes, partially because Harry kept him up most nights but also because he hadn’t been able to sleep even when Harry wasn’t being fussy. Every time he closed eyes, all he could see were the images of James and Lily’s bodies, cold and lifeless. The dull, dead look in their eyes that Regulus was sure would haunt him forever.
He couldn’t help but also note the fact that he was looking more gaunt and frail than usual. While taking care of a baby did take up most of Regulus’ time, he had also found himself struggling to do all the simple life things, such as eating and bathing. He knew exactly what James would have said. You need to take care of yourself, Reggie. You’re looking thin. For that very reason, Regulus pulled away from the mirror and towards the tub, immediately twisting the knob for hot water.
A few minutes later, steam was filling up the bathroom. Regulus was able to undress, stepping into the tub and settle into the hot water. It wrapped around him like a hug. For the first time in a while, Regulus felt his mind relax. He pulled his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. He sat there for a moment in the silence, feeling everything and nothing all at once. When Regulus finally felt a little more calm, he laid back, head resting against the lip of the tub.
As Regulus laid in the hot water, he felt his eyes drop towards his left arm. He turned his arm over in the water to reveal the black ink that would haunt him almost as much as the image of James’ body did. Regulus brought his arm closer to him and as he stared at it, the shape began to morph. The skull faded back into his skin, but the snake remained, stretching, and twisting around itself. As Regulus stared at it in awe, he quickly realized that the snake was beginning to spell out a word, written in cursive. When the snake finally stopped moving, Regulus read the word.
James.
The sound of Regulus’ heartbeat jumped into his ears, pounding loudly against his skull. His breath hitched as he stared down at the word.
“No, no, no,” Regulus whimpered, blinking back the fresh onset of tears. Go away, Regulus thought. Go away. Go away. Go away. All he wanted was for the dark mark to return to normal, but it wasn’t changing. It wasn’t shifting back.
Regulus, not being able to stand the sight of the word any longer, dug his nails into his forearm, ripping, and tearing away at the skin. He scratched, and scratched, and scratched at the skin until blood began to pool under his fingernails, coating his arm before slipping thickly into the water, coloring it a faint pink. Regulus pulled his hand back. It couldn’t see the mark or the words anymore as it was all covered with blood now. He couldn’t feel any pain either – that he knew that would come later - but it was worth it just to make James’ name go away.
Biting down on his lip, Regulus slowly dipped his forearm into the water. Blood immediately began to mix with the water, dilating it to a faint red color. Regulus sucked in a hiss through his teeth and yanked his arm out. The old blood had all washed away, but his arm was quickly enveloped again with new blood as it continued pool out of the cuts. Regulus could spot them more easily now, four long, deep cuts running the length of the dark mark. The edges of the ink had been left untouched and from those pieces alone, Regulus could see that the mark had shifted back to what it had been before it transformed.
Regulus let out a long sigh as his arm began to burn and he let the appendage drop back into the water, staining the water an even dark shade of red.
~×~
November 16th, 1981
“You tryna off yourself or something?” Virdis remarked, reaching across the table to yank up the sleeve of Regulus’ shirt to reveal a fresh set of bandages. Regulus’ gaze snapped around, making sure there were no prying eyes as he quickly pulled his sleeve back down, shooting Virdis a glare.
“I’m trying to get rid of a tattoo,” Regulus muttered, lowering both his voice and his eyes.
“I don’t think that’s how tattoos work.”
“I don’t care. Fuck off,” Regulus spat. Virdis smirked and lifted their drink to their lips, taking a long sip.
“Look, mate. You’re the one who invited me out,” Virdis stated, trying to mediate the tension. Regulus gave a long sigh, his face going flat. His fingers circled around his drink on the table, and he inched it slightly closer to himself. Maybe agreeing to see one another again after the very first day that he had met Virdis hadn’t been the best idea. Maybe he hadn’t been thinking straight. He had just witnessed a death after all. Maybe that had altered his brain chemistry or something an caused him to make a stupid, idiotic decision.
“This was a mistake,” Regulus muttered, shaking his head. He was about to stand and leave when Virdis shot out a hand and grabbed him by the wrist, stopping him dead in his tracks. Regulus flicked up and meet Virdis’ gaze. In the neon lights of the bar, their normally blue eyes now mimicked a deep purple, drawing Regulus in. His lips parted with a sharp sigh.
“Don’t.” It was a single word, more of a command than anything else, yet Regulus couldn’t help but obey it. Then, Virdis continued, “Why did you invite me out?”
Regulus held their gaze for a long moment, thinking of the correct way to answer. He sat entirely still, feeling very inch of Virdis’ hand on his wrist. He tried to read Virdis’ face and was surprised to not find anything sinister etched into their features. Virdis finally pulled their touch away.
“I want to know more,” Regulus admitted quietly, dropping his eyes to his drink on the table. He could hear Virdis let out a soft chuckle.
“Are you sure?” they asked. Regulus set his jaw, feeling more confident now.
“Did it sound like I wasn’t?” Regulus shot back, although he knew that he had sounded uncertain. But he would no longer be backing down. He needed to know why his stomach erupted into butterflies every time he thought of the man who had killed himself, blood staining the street, the fracture in his skull.
Virdis stepped out of their seat and motioned for Regulus to do the same.
“Follow me,” was the only instruction they gave before turning and heading towards the door. Regulus jumped out of his seat and continued after Virdis, having to walk twice as fast just to keep up with their long strides. As the two stumbled out of the bar, Regulus finally caught up, falling in stride with Virdis. He lifted his head towards them, but Virdis’ eyes were only focused forwards.
“Where are we going?” Regulus hissed quietly, whipping his head around to see if there was anyone on the streets at this time of night. There was only one – a man a few blocks down, leant up against a building as he smoked a cigarette.
“Be quiet and come on. We have to be quick,” Virdis ordered, taking a few quick steps in the direction of said man. Regulus followed without any more questions until they stopped, just a singular block away from the man, who was still smoking his cigarette, clearly oblivious to Virdis and Regulus approaching him.
Virdis suddenly whipped around, turning their back towards the man and the next thing that Regulus knew, there was something cold and hard being pressed into the palm of his hand. Regulus’ eyes fell and even with the little light that they had, he could tell that it was a knife. Regulus’ gaze immediately flicked back up.
“What is this?” Virdis rolled their eyes.
“What does it look like?” Regulus swallowed hard, trying to clear out the lump that was forming in the back of his throat.
“What do you want me to do with it?” he then asked, his words barely audible above a whisper. Regulus watched as Virdis’ lips pulled into a wicked grin.
“I want you to kill him.”