Of Brothers and Bonds

Harry didn’t know what he was supposed to do or think or say.

It had been a very strange and tiring day, a tiring few days if Harry were honest.

Small Heath was… interesting.

Harry thought it was more interesting than Little Whining for sure. The streets were smaller, more crowded. There were different people as well, much different than the ones who lived in Little Whining.

Small Heath was a ‘working’ town, that was what Remus said. There was the boat dock by the river, the one that shipped goods out to London and were inspected by the workers. That was where Remus’s not-father worked.

Harry met him once, briefly, and it had been strange and funny to be called someone’s grandson. It was funnier when Harry thought about how horrified his blood-relatives would be, finding out Harry was being called family by two werewolves.

Remus’s sort-of-dad had been the one to tell Harry about the other main job place in Small Heath. Just outside the town was a plant where many of the men worked.

“The ones who don’t work tha docks or tha plant?” Charlie spat on the ground and shook his head. “They’re the ones related to me.”

The Shelby family were the most interesting people in Small Heath, by quite a bit.

Remus’s best mate, Arthur, was… er… he was a bit loud, actually. It wasn’t a bad thing, really, it just reminded Harry of being at the Burrow. The first couple of days had been startling and almost uncomfortable, then Harry adjusted and it was fine.

The Burrow had Harry’s best mate there though, Small Heath only had Remus… who wasn’t exactly Harry’s best mate. He had been Harry’s dad’s best mate though, which was something.

Harry also had Finn, Arthur’s youngest sibling. It would have been a better if he were older, closer to Harry’s age. Finn being ten made Harry feel like he was with a first year freshly sorted, but he was funny.

Finn cursed a lot too, more than any kid Harry knew. It was funny enough to make Harry often forget that there were three years between them.

Then there was John, who had three little kids and no mum for them. He had offered to pay Harry to watch his kids once and Harry had actually liked it. All Harry had to was play with them, feed them, and keep them from hurting each other. John said that Harry was the best sitter he had - ‘loads better than Ada’.

Harry only saw Ada twice, which was disappointing. He got the impression she was avoiding Remus, something he decided after he heard Remus say she was avoiding him. Remus’s aunt said that when Ada was ready to talk about ‘it’, she would. Harry had thought maybe Remus and Ada were dating, but Remus shut that down rather quickly.

“I don’t date women,” Remus said with a lopsided grin. “I thought… well, I thought you knew.”

How was Harry meant to know that?

It became a little more obvious when Remus returned from shopping in London one day with a bloke.

Which was sort of the problem and the reason why Harry had decided to go for a walk rather than stay ‘home’.

The bloke, Barty, was strange, very strange. Harry was used to witches and wizards being odd around him, but Barty was the most odd.

Barty was twitchy, always fidgeting which made Harry fidget. Then Harry would fidget and it would make Barty flinch.

Harry tried having a conversation with Barty, but the very first words out of Barty’s mouth had been strange.

“Hello,” Harry said, torn between looking at Barty and John. Barty was staring hard at Harry, but John was missing a finger.

“The Dark Lord killed you,” Barty whispered to Harry, immediately winning the competition for Harry’s attention. Barty’s eyes were bulging and Harry thought he might not be sane at all.

“No, Barty.” Remus put a firm hand on Barty’s shoulder and shook him a bit. “This is James’s son, Harry.”

Then Barty asked where Regulus was and Harry had been offered to babysit John’s kids, ending the conversation.

It was strange.

Harry didn’t think he liked Barty and he wasn’t sure that he liked being in Small Heath. It was different and interesting, but Harry missed his friends and his school.

When Remus left to go pick up books he ordered for Harry, Harry decided that he would rather walk around than stay in the flat with Barty.

It wasn’t exactly intentional, the direction Harry walked, but his mind automatically guided him toward the stables where he had gone riding before. Harry never had too much of an interest in animals - he liked them, but aside from Hedwig he never had a pet so he didn’t know much about them.

Horses were brilliant though; tall and beautiful, Harry could see why some muggles preferred riding them to cars. Even Harry’s broom couldn’t compare, it was an entirely different sensation riding a horse than a broom.

Harry wasn’t planning on riding a horse, he just wanted to try and slip in the stable to pet Amaris. He was sort of in luck though, because Tommy was there when Harry arrived.

Tommy was probably the most interesting person Harry had met in Small Heath. The first night Harry saw him, when he walked right up to the bloke waving a gun, Harry thought he seemed intimidating.

Then Tommy taught Harry how to ride a horse and Harry thought he was rather kind. Then Tommy decided he needed to kill his friend for killing someone else and Harry realized that most of Remus’s mates weren’t sane.

Tommy was brilliant though, the way he only pretended to kill his friend so ‘the Italians’ wouldn’t attack anyone else in retribution. It didn’t mean he was sane, Harry actually thought he looked quite mental after Danny fell in the boat, but he was still brilliant.

Remus was clearly like Tommy - brilliant, kind, intimidating, and not sane.

Harry walked around the barn to lean against the fence that made the pasture out back. Tommy had Amaris out and Harry found that he was alright less disturbed by the everything going on just by watching them. Tommy was clearly much better than Harry had been on Amaris, he looked so at ease as he rode the horse around in circles.

Harry didn’t think he had been noticed, and Harry didn’t want to interrupt, but Tommy called on him after a while of riding.

“She needs a slow down walk,” Tommy said, turning to look directly at Harry. “Would you like to do that?”

“Yes, please!” Harry said, quickly sliding between the boards of the fence to get inside the pasture. Harry didn’t run once he was inside though, he didn’t want to spook Amaris.

“Hello, pretty.” Harry took a moment to brush his hand on Amaris’s face while Tommy dismounted. There was a rather intelligent light in her dark eyes that Harry liked, something that reminded him of Hedwig.

“Up you go,” Tommy said after he slid down. He held the reins for Harry as Harry climbed up then passed them to him. “An easy trot will do it,” he told Harry.

“Yes, sir,” Harry said, grinning.

As soon as Tommy passed over the reins, Harry very gently nudged Amaris’s side (‘flank’, he had been told) with his heels. With Harry holding the reins, Amaris responded easily to every turn and every change in pace.

It was peaceful, even with Tommy telling him to gradually slow down with every circle Harry made. There was something as simple about riding a horse as there had been with a broom and Harry sighed when he eventually had to dismount.

“You would make an excellent jockey,” Tommy told Harry. They had taken Amaris back in the stables and Harry was helping to brush Amaris after her gear was taken off.

Harry was mostly trying to feed Amaris treats when Tommy seemed preoccupied.

“A jockey, sir?” Harry asked, not recognizing the term.

“A professional rider,” Tommy explained as he slowly brushed Amaris. A corner of Tommy’s lips curled up in a soft smile. “I used to think that would be my calling, so to speak.”

Harry tried to picture himself riding a horse at breakneck speeds like how Polly had explaining horse races to be to him. It did sound fun…

“Why didn’t you?” Harry asked. “You’re a good rider.”

At once, the smile on Tommy’s face disappeared and he looked older, more disturbed.

“A great variety of things stopped me,” Tommy said, perfectly evenly. Only the way the brush he held shook made Harry think that Harry had upset him.

“Remus brought a bloke home, Barty,” Harry told him, trying to politely change the subject. Harry stroked Amaris’s neck and furrowed his brows. “He’s weird.”

“How so?” Tommy asked. “I will warn you, I’ve never met a gypsy friend of Remus’s that I found any use for.”

Harry grinned and decided he liked that, being a gypsy instead of a wizard. According to Remus, it was the same thing, gypsy just sounded more like what Professor Trewlaney would be while wizard would be Professor Dumbledore.

“He just… stares,” Harry said. “And, er… I think he’s a bit sick? In the head?”

“Ah.” Tommy seemed satisfied with their work on Amaris and he patted her fondly before holding his arm out for Harry to leave the stable.

Tommy didn’t seem to be in any rush, he began a leisurely stroll toward the town with a cigarette between his lips. It was one thing that everyone seemed to do - smoke. Harry didn’t particularly like the smell of it, but he had gotten used to it.

“Remus tends to collect those that many others wouldn’t,” Tommy said while they walked along the side of the paved road. “Who is this new man though? John mentioned him only briefly.”

Harry huffed and then told Tommy all he had learned about Barty. How he was strange and stared a lot, how Remus said he was sick but getting better.

Mostly Harry explained how really he didn’t like Barty and wished he could go back to school. No matter what Remus told him about Hogwarts being dangerous, Harry didn’t think it was any more dangerous than every other place in the world.

Sure, maybe there were dementors and basilisks and Snape, but Hogwarts was Harry’s home.

“Have you considered that Small Heath could be your home?” Tommy said. They had walked to the Garrison and Harry didn’t hesitate before following Tommy inside.

Kids weren’t meant to be in pubs, but it seemed as if kids with the Shelby family were exempt from that rule. The Garrison was decently busy and Harry had the random realization that he had no idea what day of the week it was.

“Thursday,” Tommy told Harry when Harry said just that. Tommy only paused at the bar long enough to nod at the woman who worked there, the pretty one with the blonde hair and freckles, Grace. Harry nodded too and tried to not blush like Ron did when he talked about Madam Rosmerta.

Grace was prettier though, Harry was sure of it. And Harry thought Tommy might agree, from the way he smiled at her and didn’t really smile at anyone else.

Tommy went in a back room and since he didn’t tell Harry that Harry couldn’t follow him, Harry did. The back room was private, there were only two tables there. When they sat down and Grace brought Tommy a drink and Harry a water, Tommy stared at Harry.

“Er… What did you say?” Harry said. They had been having a conversation, one Harry lost track of after he got his complaints off his chest.

“You said that Hogwarts is your home and I said that Small Heath could be an actual home,” Tommy said, unbothered by Harry’s moment of distraction. “Remus does consider you to be his family. What more makes a place home?”

That… was a bit of a loaded question. Harry thought about it while Tommy smoked. Sure, Remus said they were family and that was great, but the Dursleys had actually been Harry’s family and Harry had never thought of their house as his home.

“Home is… It’s where you’re accepted,” Harry said slowly, his face scrunched up in thought. He stared at the dark paneled walls and tried to put words to a feeling. “It’s where people like you, you know? Where you don’t have to be quiet and hidden.”

Don’t be seen, don’t be heard. Those were the rules at the Dursleys and Harry followed them until it was as if he really couldn’t be seen or heard… unless he was in trouble.

Then he was certainly seen.

Tommy made a quiet sound and seemed to consider that for a long time. Harry didn’t really expect a reply, it was a rather personal conversation. It was nice to just sit in silence with someone who didn’t want Harry to necessarily feel or act any certain way.

It was beginning to get dark out and Harry had been caught up in his own thoughts about everything when Tommy finally spoke up again.

Then Tommy said something so simple and sad that it struck a chord in Harry’s chest and made Harry decide to give Small Heath a real chance.

“If home is the place where people like you and you don’t need to hide…” Tommy finished his drink and his eyes were dark, sad. “I’m afraid I still haven’t found mine.”

Did Harry want to be a grown man and still think that his school was the closest thing to a home he had?

Probably not.

Remus was home when Harry returned and he was sitting at the table, reading a thick book and taking notes as he did. Remus smiled as soon as Harry let himself inside, which was nice.

“Have you been gone all afternoon?” he asked pleasantly, as if Harry’s answer wasn’t going to affect his mood one way or another.

“I left when you did,” Harry said honestly. He was touched when he sat down and Remus slid a bowl of stew still steaming toward Harry. Harry looked around and didn’t see or hear Barty though. “Where’s Barty?”

“He’s applying some wards for me,” Remus said casually, as if that wasn’t startling news.

“You gave him a want?” Harry asked, gaping at Remus. “You, er… you think that’s a good idea?”

Remus frowned and closed his book to focus on Harry and Harry pretended as if that wasn’t unsettling. Remus’s eyes were more golden than usual, maybe a sign of the upcoming full moon? Harry really didn’t pay much attention to the class Snape taught about werewolves. Somewhere in the trunk Remus put in Harry’s room was his half-finished essay on the subject.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Remus asked. “Barty’s an exceedingly bright wizard.”

“You don’t think he’s…” Harry trailed off and stored his stew, trying to find a polite word for ‘entirely insane’. Remus might not notice, as he wasn’t exactly mentally sound himself. “Er… strange?” Harry finally said, glancing at Remus quickly to gauge his reaction.

Remus looked confused, not angry, so Harry took a small bite of the stew. It was good, actually, so Harry began eating more earnestly.

“Barty is another classmate of mine,” Remus said. “He was a year behind me, and I understand he’s been living in quite terrible conditions, so I might be more understanding of his quirks.”

Quirks?

“Remus, he stares at me,” Harry told Remus rather bluntly. It wasn’t a quirk, it was uncomfortable. “And he doesn’t really talk to me.”

“Ah.” Remus folded his hands under his chin and nodded. “That might be my fault, I told him to not bother you in your home.”

And there it was again… home.

Harry liked Remus, Harry liked the Shelbys. Small Heath was interesting and Amaris was brilliant, but Harry didn’t feel as if he were home. At some point, Harry was going to have to return to Hogwarts. From there, Harry would go to his aunt and uncle’s house.

It was strange having to explain that to Remus though, seeing as he was both the adult and the professor.

“This isn’t my home,” Harry said, not meaning for the words to sound so heated. “I can’t stay here forever. It’s not - I just can’t.”

“Why?”

Harry threw his hands up in exasperation.

“Because - because I have to learn magic! And if I want to learn magic, then I’m going to be sent back to my aunt’s house. Honestly, Remus, you might have gotten me expelled!”

It was quiet and Harry dropped his eyes to the table. It took a minute for Harry to recognize that he wasn’t angry, he was… well, a bit worried… mostly that when Remus finished whatever strange fantasy he was living out, that Harry wouldn’t have a place to go.

If he had gotten expelled then Mrs Weasley wasn’t going to let Harry come over for even a few days over the summer. Harry’s relatives wouldn’t be pleased in the slightest to see Harry return to them. It would be unbearable and almost entirely Remus’s fault.

Then Remus chuckled and Harry went from worried to angry.

“It is not funny,” Harry hissed, inching away reflexively. “You - you’ve got no idea.”

Remus had apparently been found in the woods as a little werewolf (an image Harry tried to not find adorable since werewolves were meant to be dangerous) and adopted. Remus didn’t have to worry that being temporarily kidnapped would upset every card he stacked to try and make a life that wasn’t terrible.

“Harry…” Remus reached over to touch Harry’s wrist and Harry twitched it from his reach.

“Harry, this isn’t temporary,” Remus said, pulling his hands back slowly and placing them flat on the table. “You could - ahem…” Remus cleared his throat and sounded awkward. “You and I - we are… well, I certainly consider you to be family. And I have may have, well, I did actually, I - I had Petunia sign over your custody.”

Remus said it all in such a rushed mixture of stammered words that it took Harry a second to understand him. Then it hit Harry like a punch to the stomach and his jaw dropped.

“You…?” Harry turned in his chair and gaped at Remus. “To you?” he asked. “You had my aunt give you custody of me? Like a guardian?”

“Mm, I believe it was a consent to adopt and I was assured by Polly she knows a judge who owes her a favor…” Remus seemed honest, if suddenly unsure. “I would like to think that your parents would approve, if not of my methods then certainly my intentions…”

Harry didn’t care about Remus’s methods or his parents’s approval. All Harry found, all at once, that he cared about was that Remus had apparently been incredibly busy lately and it wasn’t temporary.

It wasn’t temporary.

Harry laughed - he laughed so hard and for so long that Remus himself started laughing. Somehow, and Harry didn’t know who had initiated it, they were embracing and it wasn’t strange or uncomfortable and it wasn’t temporary.

“You’re happy then?” Remus asked when Harry finally slid back in his own chair and began eating with much more enthusiasm than before.

“Barty is still strange,” Harry told Remus, unable to drop his grin. “But, yeah… I - thank you.”

Remus waved away Harry’s thanks like a physical thing he could push away. Then he sort of ruined the bubble of excitement that had grown in Harry’s chest.

“Barty is strange,” Remus allowed. “He’s incredibly brilliant though, and I’ve asked him to assist me in your studies.”

Harry didn’t think he would grow to like Barty at all, but he dealt with Snape, didn’t he? If Small Heath was permanent - if it was home - then Harry could deal.

Probably.

“He’s going to stare at me,” Harry sighed.

“Probably,” Remus agreed brightly. “On the plus side though, Harry, it will be quite difficult to teach you if he doesn’t speak.”

There was that, Harry supposed.