Every Scar Has Its Secrets

The first quidditch game of the season, Gryffindor v. Hufflepuff. Sirius didn’t try out for the team this year, he liked flying, but practices and the pressure of the games and living up to the legacy made it more stressful than anything, and to be fair, Marlene seemed like a way better beater than he was.

The next moon was in two days, Remus seemed uncomfortable, but not in pain like he was last month.

They made their way down to the quidditch pitch with the rest of the school after lessons, most people complaining about the timing of the game and how much homework they had, Sirius didn’t mind though. It got him out of doing his astronomy homework. It's not like he was bad at astronomy or anything, in fact he was better than most of their year, but he never liked it much. It reminded him too much of his family, Regulus specifically. Regulus always liked the stars, he would sneak out of his room on to the roof some nights just to watch the stars, he learned to identify each constellation and which star was the brightest during what time of the year, Sirius never understood why, they were named after the stars, wasn’t that enough?

Remus laced their fingers together as they got closer to the pitch. He was clingier than normal, Sirius brushed it off, assuming it was because of the moon, but something was wrong, he knew deep down, but Sirius Black was never one to trust his gut, especially when it's important.

“I wouldn’t be here if Marlene wasn’t on the team.” Mary complained. “It’s so stupid. I don’t understand the point, or the rules, or the appeal, literally anything. Why do people enjoy this?”

“It’s not hard to understand, you just have to want to understand, and clearly you don’t.” Sirius shrugged, sitting down next to her.

“Yeah, I guess. Still though, why do people like it so much? Like everyone gets so competitive over it, I don’t get why.” She seemed less annoyed now, more genuinely curious.

“People want their team to win, even the people not on the team. It’s nice to have something over the other houses, even if it only lasts a couple weeks. Also, who wouldn’t want to win? Especially with the parties after. And the-”

He was cut off by the game starting, both teams kicked off the ground, waiting for the game to officially start.

Remus was leaning against the wall next to them, his legs stretched out over Sirius’ lap and reading a book, chewing on the pen he uses to write notes in the margins of his books, ignoring the looks he was getting from the rows behind him.

It was loud, a mix of cheers and boos. Hufflepuff’s team wasn’t great, but they weren't terrible either. Their seeker was staying low to the ground, a strategy Sirius has only ever seen once before. Slytherin’s old seeker, the one before Regulus, would always stay close to the ground, it wasn't a terrible technique, but from everything Sirius has noticed, staying higher, above the rest of the game, usually worked better. The rest of the team was decent, Hufflepuff has always been good, friendly competition, never any hard feelings between the teams, and usually the losing team would show up to the after parties.

Gryffindor won, Hufflepuff’s seeker caught the snitch, but the points weren’t evened out right, and they ended up losing anyways, James did his signature victory lap around the pitch, and everyone made their way back to the castle. It had started raining at some point, not the kind of rain that was fun, it was barely raining, and it was cold, and windy, and it made Sirius’ hair frizz up.

There was already talk of a party when they got back to the common room, some people thinking logically ‘it’s a monday, we’re all gonna be hungover for school tomorrow.’, But most people didn't really give a shit. They’ve had enough parties on school nights before, they’d all be fine, people just like to complain.

“God dammit.” Remus muttered, taking his normal spot.

“Hm?” Sirius asked, distracted by the sixth years trying to turn water into firewhiskey.

“The rain got my book wet and now the pages are all fucky.” He complained, dramatically leaning across the arms of the chair.

“It’s a corner Moony, you’re acting like the world's ending.” Peter rolled his eyes.

“You don’t understand Wormy, the world is ending. We just don’t know it yet.” He shrugged, opening his book again.

“Damn. Cryptic messages. It is what it is, right Padfoot?”

“Mmm.”

Sirius ran his fingers through his hair, trying to flatten it out but only making it worse. He went up to the room to shower, forgetting to tell anyone where he’s going, an unspoken rule they made just in case anything happens and no one has the map.

James was in the room when Sirius got out, digging through his wardrobe, his hair messier than normal and his face red.

“Did Lily meet you in the locker rooms or something?” He smiled, fixing some of his curls.

“Oh! Hey Sirius. Uhm. Yeah. Yeah, Lily. She uh, She followed me instead of the rest of the group.” He scratched the back of his neck, clearly lying.

“You’re a terrible liar. What really happened?”

“Me and Lily are on a break right now. I have some things I need to figure out, well, needed to figure out. I know now. But anyways. I wasn’t with Lily, I just didn’t want to say anything because nothing is for sure yet.” He shrugged, putting a shirt on.

“Who’d you snog then?” Sirius smiled again.

“Oh, yeah, that. Again nothing for sure yet and I don’t want to say anything because they don’t want people to know.”

“Alright, keep your secrets then. I’ll figure it out myself eventually.”

At some point in the time it took Sirius to shower, half the school had shown up, most of them already drunk. It was a more casual party, most people in muggle clothes. Regulus was there, his sleeves rolled up and a drink in his hand, talking to Pandora Rosier, a Ravenclaw in their year, Evan's twin sister. Sirius assumed Evan and Barty were around somewhere and shrugged it off, taking his spot next to Remus.

Lily was drunk. Really drunk. Everyone seemed to notice but no one said anything, and seeing as James had barely told Sirius about the breakup, Sirius stayed quiet too.

Sirius and Remus both decided not to drink that night, though Remus did sneak off with one of the Hufflepuff girls to smoke a joint at one point, but Sirius stayed sober.

It was weird seeing Lily drunk, usually she was the sober one, James usually being shitfaced before anyone else, he was drunk, but not like normal. Remus came back a while later, his eyes red and the smell of weed lingering around him.

“Feel better?” Sirius laughed, pushing him lightly

“Yeah. I’m great. What's up with Lily? Do you know?”

“They broke up. James said he had to figure some shit out. He seemed alright with it, snogged someone else earlier but didn’t tell me who.”

“Oh, I'll check on her in the morning, make sure she’s at least somewhat okay. Kinda a dick move on James’s part.” Remus mumbled, taking a sip of water and watching Lily, not letting her out of his sight for the rest of the night.

Regulus and Pandora sat down by them later in the night, not really talking to any of them, but sitting with them still. Regulus was sitting next to James, oddly close for Regulus, but he was drunk, he's usually a little more open to physical touch when he's drunk. Pandora was sitting on the arm of the couch, playing with her crystal necklace as she talked. She had this softness to her voice, making it seem like she was always a little loopy, though she is one of the most self aware people Sirius has ever met.

Sirius went upstairs and changed into one of Remus’ sweaters, laying down on his bed and looking at the stars on the top of his canopy. He has it charmed so it shows what constellations are out that night and which star is the brightest. Andromeda was out that night. Sirius needs to write to her soon, maybe try and get more vinyls.

His record player was downstairs. It was too quiet in the room.

He walked back downstairs and took a shot before grabbing Remus’ arm and pulling him off the couch.

“What?”

“It's quiet upstairs. I’m bored. Come on.”

They got upstairs and Sirius closed the door behind him, charming it with an anti-alohomora lock.

“Sirius we can't. It’s after midnight. The moons tomorrow. I don’t want to go too far.” Remus said

“I want to go too far though. If you’re not up for it it's fine, obviously you need to be okay with it too, but I know how you get when it’s this close to a moon, and I'm alright with that.”

“Are you completely sure? I'm fine with it, more than fine with it if I'm being honest, but I don't want to risk hurting you or going too far but be too into it to notice.”

“You won’t moony, I promise, it'll be fine.” Sirius smiled, kissing him.

Remus kissed back, his hands immediately finding Sirius’s waist, and Sirius’s getting tangled up in his hair.

Remus didn’t go too far, Sirius didn’t think it was possible with Remus anyways, and even if it was, Sirius never noticed. They never fucked close to a moon because Remus is scared, but that was the night that Sirius realized how good Remus was when it was this close.

It was the best Sirius has ever been fucked, he wouldn’t be surprised if he was sore the next day, but he didn’t care, not after he was fucked like that.

“Fuck, moony. We gotta do that more.” He whispered, his voice was raspy and breathless

“Yeah.”

“You alright?” Sirius asked, closing his curtains and taking the charm off the door.

“Yeah. The highs wearing off.”

They laid like that for a minute, enjoying the comfortable silence between them.

“Hey moony?”

“Yeah pads?”

“Love you.”

Remus laughed slightly, running his hand through Sirius’ hair.

“Love you too.”