Chapter 4
June 19, 1996 – Contd.
Tree branches rustle in the breeze as clouds dot the clear, blue sky. The sun warms her skin, its rays beating down on her face as she lies on the cool grass.
Movement next to her makes her turn onto her side.
Regulus.
He's seated on the ground—legs straight out, weight resting on his arms. His fathomless grey eyes are full of an emotion she’s just beginning to understand. A small, silver chain with a lion charm hangs around his neck, falling out of his unbuttoned collar.
Her eyes land on the charm. She slowly reaches for it, his gaze following her hand, and she catches the charm between her fingers. “When you wear it, can you feel my magic?”
His hand comes up and covers hers. A searing flow of magic passes between them at his touch. “Always.”
She sighs contentedly as they sit in comfortable silence. He’s all she needs in that peaceful moment.
Her eyelids are heavy; she feels exhausted. "Let’s nap before dinner.”
He looks a little sad but still smiles down at her. He lays next to her and pulls her to him so that her head rests against his chest. She falls asleep to the rhythmic beating of his heart.
Time passes, and eventually, she feels a warm hand brushing her dark hair from where it has fallen across her face.
“Sorry, love, but it’s time to wake up.”
“Don’t want to wake up, Reg. A little bit longer.”
His lips brush against her forehead. “I know, but you need to wake up.”
She buries her face deeper into the crook of his shoulder.
“Liv...”
The bright, sunny day swirls around her and morphs into a chilly night. She’s in the same spot but alone on the cold ground.
“Regulus?” She calls, but no answer. “Reg? Where are you?”
The tree branches have vanished, and she’s in total darkness. Her eyes try to adjust but cannot focus.
A distant voice calls her name. “Liv...”
“Regulus? I can barely hear you.”
She feels utterly alone. There is a sinking feeling in her stomach. She wants to follow his voice, but she cannot move. Her limbs are frozen.
Panic seizes her body, and it feels like her lungs are collapsing. She can barely breathe.
“Liv...”
“Regulus...”
“Liv, are you awake...”
“Regulus!”
Liv jolted upright in bed—Regulus’ name on her lips. A cold sweat broke out along her brow as her body heaved, her heart racing. She blinked a few times. Disoriented in the darkness, she rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands and reached for her bracelet. Taking deep breaths, she cleared her mind to recall where she was and what she remembered. She touched a pearl—I am at Grimmauld Place. Fingers ran over a second pearl—I spoke to Professor Dumbledore. Another pearl—it is 1996. A fourth pearl—I traveled forward in time. One more pearl—Regulus.
Her heart ached at Regulus's absence from her reality. If she could fall back asleep and escape into her dreams, she would search for him in the darkness.
A light rap on the bedroom door brought her out of her haze.
“Liv, are you awake?” The voice was vaguely familiar, its low timber calming as it pierced through the solid wood. “May I come in?”
She inhaled a long breath and slowly let it out, hoping the shakiness in her voice would go unnoticed. She needed to face whoever was on the other side of the door before panic consumed her. “Yes. You can come in.”
The door creaked open, and a man wearing what she thought was a well-worn blue cardigan stepped through. The light from the hallway outlined his tall, lean frame. With a wave of his wand, the room lit up in a warm glow.
Liv's shock and disbelief upon seeing the man in front of her left her mouth open. Realizing it was impolite to stare, she closed her mouth with a snap and cleared her throat.
She considered him before she spoke, unsure of exactly what to say. The last time she had seen him was the evening of the prank outside the Great Hall. He was exiting from dinner with a tall stack of chocolate biscuits balancing on a large textbook. She had thought a slight accidental nudge would send the biscuits all over the stone floor.
“Re-Remus?”
“Hello, Liv.” He smiled kindly, if a little apprehensive.
The teenage version of Remus that Liv remembered was gone. Instead, an adult version stood before her. His shoulders hunched inward as if he were trying to make himself smaller and take up less space in the room. Grey streaks ran through his sandy-brown hair. She blinked a few times, ensuring her mind was not playing tricks on her, but it was unmistakably him. The kind, deep-green eyes, the scars etched across his face—although several more since she had last seen him—were the confirmation she needed to know that she was looking at one of her brother’s best friends. He seemed older than what she thought his age should be. Perhaps the years as a werewolf had not been kind to him.
He stepped closer to the bed, hands clasped behind his back. “How are you feeling?”
Liv had no idea how she was feeling. Since she had activated the Time Disc, everything had been a whirlwind. It all seemed impossible. There was no time to process what had happened to her, from hurtling through time to passing out from exhaustion at Hogwarts and then at Grimmauld Place. Any emotions she felt were locked behind her Occlumency walls. She knew she would drown in their overwhelming onslaught if she allowed herself to feel any of them. She was not sure if she could recover from that.
She shrugged and turned her head, easily avoiding his question. She glanced out the window and noticed that it was evening. The sky was black, dotted with a few stars bright enough to shine in the city lights. Streetlamps illuminated the block. She must have slept for a while.
“Liv—”
She cut him off, eyes stinging, and sniffed. “Things must be pretty bad if you’re the one they sent to check on me. You’re known to be calm in bonkers situations.” A nervous laugh escaped her. She brought her knees up to her chest and hugged them close. “What do you expect me to say?”
He offered her a sympathetic smile.
“If I think about what’s happened... it’s just... my Occlumency walls can only do so much, and it’s taking everything in my power to hold them up and not let them crumble.” She paused and rested her chin on her knees. “I’ve just experienced the shock of a lifetime. I could live a thousand years and not expect any of this to have happened. I mean, for Salazar’s sake, you... you have grey hair!”
He chuckled at her last comment, rocking on his heels awkwardly.
“Sorry, I didn’t... you’re not old, just... do you remember the last time I saw you?” She looked down at the blue duvet and let her finger play with a loose thread as she spoke. “Probably not, but it was the evening of the prank. I don’t know how much you know about the prank...” He offered her a nod to continue. “Anyway, you were exiting the Great Hall with a stack of chocolate biscuits that looked like they were about to topple over. You pulled me aside and tried convincing me not to take Jamie and Sirius’ bullying of Severus so seriously. Positive you knew I was going to retaliate. But I didn’t listen. I couldn’t see past my revenge for my friend and your tower of biscuits."
The bed dipped as Remus sat on its edge. “I remember. Not the biscuits, but I remember speaking with you. I had hoped to change your mind about your brother and Padfoot.”
“I think I was a tad angry at you as well.” Disappointment crept into her voice, not necessarily at Remus, but with her own stubbornness. “You sat under the tree with Peter and watched them embarrass and bully my friend, so I threw you into a category with my brother and Sirius. I always knew you could pull pranks and, more often than not, was the mastermind behind many of them, but I never thought you were okay with bullying. I guess it doesn’t matter now. But thinking about everything, if I hadn’t been so reckless and listened to you...” her voice trailed off.
He offered her an apologetic smile. “I was young and should have stood up to my friends. I know that doesn’t excuse my actions or lack thereof, but you have no idea how badly I wish I had stopped James and Sirius that day.” He paused, looking down at his hands resting on the worn knees of his trousers. “You’re a Potter, Liv. You’re headstrong and determined—and slightly stubborn. Characteristics that you share with your brother. No matter how persuasive I could be, my words would never have stopped you.”
She knew he was right. The Potters had a streak of determination and stubbornness that usually could not be swayed. That night, Remus could have spoken her ear off and begged her on his knees in hopes of persuading her, but she still would have gone through with her prank.
At the mention of her brother and with her thoughts on her family, Liv wondered about her parents and James. Surely, they were on their way. They could take her back to Potter Manor. She still was not sure why she was at Grimmauld and not at home or the hospital. What would James and her parents look like now, twenty years later? Would her parents be unrecognizable? Would James have grey in his hair, too? She was not sure if she was ready to see the changes.
The same unsettling feeling she had when Dumbledore had visited earlier returned. Remus was in Grimmauld. Remus Lupin—werewolf, half-blood. Walburga Black would never allow Sirius’ friends into her house. In fact, she knew none of his friends had ever visited the home. It would even be a stretch for Orion Black—who was slightly kinder than his wife—to allow his son’s friend into their home, even for extenuating circumstances. She could only conclude that Walburga and Orion were no longer living at Grimmauld. Was Regulus now the head of House Black? With Sirius disowned and living with her family when she disappeared, that responsibility would now be Regulus’. But why had he not visited her yet? As the head of the House, he would know she was in his home. Perhaps it was too awkward for him to see her twenty years later.
Remus seemed to understand her thoughts, and he cleared his throat, hoping to deter her from where he knew the conversation would eventually lead. “Perhaps it would be wise to get you something proper to eat? You haven’t had any food or drink since you arrived. At least a cup of tea and some biscuits?”
Food and tea were the last thing she desired. She wanted answers now. Her head throbbed with all the questions swirling around in her mind, so she ignored his suggestion.
“Remus, are Lord or Lady Black around? Can I speak with either of them? They must know I’m sequestered in their guest room, obviously.” She knew they weren’t available, but she wanted to hear it vocalized.
The bed shifted as he crossed his legs, and an uncomfortable expression spread across his face. “They are...” he paused, his head turned upward, “unavailable at the moment.”
That was a non-answer; he was indirectly answering to avoid the truth. Fine, she could move past that. What was more important was her family. And then, Regulus.
“I assume my parents and James have been notified that I’m here, right?” The way that he inhaled and how his body tensed at her question set her Slytherin instincts alert. "Or have they already arrived while I was sleeping?”
“Liv, please, let's head to the kitchen. We can have this conversation over a cup of tea.”
Using all her energy, Liv left her seat on the bed and leaned against the nightstand for balance, her legs resting on the cool wood. “We? Who is we, Remus? Is it my family? Or is there someone else living at Grimmauld who we would have this conversation with?”
“Shite,” he murmured under his breath. He stood up and put both hands out in a placating gesture, his lips forming into a sad smile.
Cracks had begun to form along her Occlumency walls, and she was not sure how much longer it would be before her emotions overwhelmed and crippled her.
“Who is we, Remus?” Her voice dropped dangerously low as she continued. “And how are you standing in this room in Grimmauld?” She moved her arms to her side and stood painfully straight. She winced as a sharp pain spasmed across her mid-section, a reminder that she still wore bandages from her time travel. “And Professor Dumbledore—showing up here, at Grimmauld? Walburga and Orion erected specific runic wards to protect their home, keeping out half-bloods and muggle-borns. No matter how powerful Dumbledore is, or how close you are to Sirius, they would never allow their sacred home to be polluted with people they thought were less than pure, like...” She stopped herself from continuing. She could tell he understood what she was implying.
It looked as if he would speak, but she shook her head. She had to get through her last question.
“Regulus, where is he? Have you seen him lately? Do you know why he isn’t here?” His expression betrayed nothing. “Sure, it’s twenty years in the future, but I know Regulus. He would be here if he could. We are—were—close.”
The thought that she was Regulus’ past made her chest ache. To her, it was just over a day ago—to him, twenty years. Her mind hurt with how complex everything was quickly becoming.
There was a long pause as Remus gathered himself. He pulled at the sleeves of his cardigan and then cautiously walked towards where she stood. “I promise to answer all your questions, but it would be best if you had something in your system. You’ve just gone through a huge ordeal, and your body and magical core are recovering. Please, Liv, let’s go to the kitchen.”
The care in his tone and the eagerness in his expression moved her. If this were the only way she would get answers, she would comply, for now.
“Alright, I-I'll go to the kitchen.”
The relief that washed over Remus was immediate as he took a step back. “Thank you.” He turned towards the door and walked out of the room, waiting for her to follow into the hallway.
“I supposed you don’t know where my belongings are?” she asked as she came up next to him. She remembered having her wand at one point in the Gryffindor common room, but it had been lost since waking up in Grimmauld. All of her things were missing.
“I believe Dumbledore has them.” Her brow furrowed at his assumption. Why would Dumbledore have her belongings?
“He could have left them here with me or with you. That’s odd.”
He nodded in agreement. “Perhaps since you were found in Hogwarts, he thought it best to hold on to them for safekeeping until he knew you were all right.”
“Perhaps. But since I appear to be safe, hopefully, they’ll be returned to me soon.”
As Liv and Remus descended the three flights of stairs, she could not help but gawk at the changes in Grimmauld Place. The house, a once stately townhome, now appeared derelict. The faded brocade wallpaper peeled away from the walls, revealing the wear and tear of time. A thick layer of dust covered the surfaces, giving the impression that the house had been untouched for years. The windows, once spotless, now had a film over them, obscuring the view of the outside world. As she took in her surroundings, a quick memory crossed her mind of the grand chandelier, casting a warm glow and illuminating the narrow hallway where people trickled in and out of the formal dining room in their gowns and dress robes all evening. It was a memory of her last Christmas at Grimmauld. That had been the night Regulus gave her the pearl bracelet.
Anxiety washed over her as their feet met the green and white tiled floor of the main hall. What happened to its upkeep? Kreacher would be mortified at the current state of the home. He had always kept it in immaculate condition. Perhaps he had passed away? He was rather ancient the last time she saw him.
“I see the elf heads are still mounted to the wall,” she commented. That was one thing she had planned on removing when she became Lady Black. They were grotesque and horrible. Not an ounce of dignity was given to those elves. She supposed it did not matter now.
“Si—” Remus cut himself off. She arched a brow at him. “Sorry,” he continued as they walked past the wall where the gallery of family portraits used to hang and past the double doors to the formal dining room. “There have been several attempts to remove the heads from the wall, but apparently, the sticking charm is blood-magicked to be permanent.”
“Wouldn’t blood magic release them, then?”
“It would, yes.” He gestured for her to enter the stairwell to the basement kitchen. “But as you know, with blood magic—”
“It can only be undone by the original caster,” she quickly answered.
“Indeed.” He seemed impressed by her answers and left it at that.
To Liv, blood magic was not inherently dark or evil; rather, it was a tool that could be used for both dark and light purposes, depending on the caster's intent and the specific spell used. Her father and mother had taught her and her brother about blood magic and had shown them the various spells associated with it in their family grimoire. She had used blood magic to enchant the lion charm she had given to Regulus, and he had used it for her bracelet.
They finally descended the stairs and stood on the bottom landing, which overlooked the kitchen. Though narrow, the room still felt cavernous to her.
Liv was about to head to the dishes rack and grab a teacup when she stopped at the scene before her. She was not surprised that someone would be waiting for them in the narrow room—she had just assumed it would be someone from her family or Regulus, definitely not Sirius Black.