the black dog

Present – 6th May 1983

“The other reporters are once again raving about that new bar that opened recently. Are we still checking it out later tonight?” Regulus leant on Remus’ desk, casting a shadow on the parchment.

“I suppose,” Remus sighed, bundling the papers together on his desk. “But I don’t see what’s wrong with our local bar now.”

Regulus rolled his eyes, “Muggle bars are fine but don’t you miss wizarding alcohol?”

“We have firewhiskey at our apartment,” he said pointedly.

“Not the same, Remus,” Regulus waved a hand, rolling his eyes simultaneously. “I mean real wizarding alcohol, not sculling firewhiskey like we are still at Hogwarts to forget the woes of our past.”

If he was completely honest with himself and with Regulus, Remus was scared. He rarely visited the wizarding areas of London, afraid he’d run into someone from his past. Or someone who knows someone who knows someone.

Regulus, however, knew Remus now. He watched as the man studied the expression on his face and successfully deciphered it. “What did I say about living your life in fear? If we see someone we know, we leave. The odds of seeing someone we know is slim anyway. We are avoiding five or six people? There’s the whole of London—no—the whole of England for them to be that isn’t this exact bar.”

Remus sighed. Regulus was right. It was time for him to step out of his comfort zone and start truly living. Plus, it had been seven years. He was probably unrecognisable by now. He was assuming that the people from his past would even care if they saw him.

“I’ll meet you there at eight? Pandora wants me to stop by once I finish up here.” Regulus asked, straightening up as he prepared to leave.

Remus hesitated for several seconds before finally replying. “Fine.”

Regulus nodded and offered Remus one of his rare, genuine smiles. “It’s in Absconditus Alley with all the other local Wizarding shops. It’s called The Black Dog.”

If only Remus would have put the dots together sooner. It would have saved him a whole lot of trouble.

Flashback – 10th March 1976 (Remus’ birthday – exactly one week before Remus leaves Hogwarts)

“Mooooony,” Sirius called out, walking towards him from across the room with another bottle of firewhiskey in his hands. “You owe me a drink.”

Remus chuckled, “Do I, now? Why was I not informed of this?”

“It’s unspoken. The birthday boy gets piss drunk,” Sirius hiccuped, “and spends the next day hungover with a massive headache.”

“I think you’ve drunk enough to be hungover tomorrow for the both of us,” Remus replied, amused with the state of his friend.

“Please,” Sirius sulked. “For me?”

And because—for some reason—Remus could not say no to the boy, he agreed.

So for the next half an hour, while the party raged on around them in the Gryffindor common room, Remus and Sirius sat down with their backs against the wall and passed the bottle of firewhiskey between them.

What would come an hour later was something that would haunt Remus seven years later.

Present – 6th May 1983

Remus was early to the bar that night, misjudging the line of wizards and witches waiting to get through the wall to the Alley.

The street was bustling with people, already sloshing their words and pushing each other around with their intoxication. The Black Dog was hidden in the corner of Absconditus Alley, but its location did not deter crowds of people from hovering around the entrance and spilling out of the rooms. Either this bar was still attracting attention from newcomers, or it was truly popular for its liveliness and alcohol.

He pushed through the crowd of people hovering in the bar, scouting for two seats close to the bar. It honestly felt more like a club than a bar, people were dancing with drinks in their hands in the middle of the room under the glow of the red lights. He didn’t even take the time to acknowledge the decorations of the bar until he had successfully taken a seat on a stool in front of the bar.

He then glanced around the room, elevated by both the stool and his own height as he took in the vinyls and posters hung up on the walls. Everything was meticulously placed in a way that enhanced the atmosphere of the room and Remus could acknowledge that it was something he could appreciate. It was a mixture of references to muggle music and artists—Bowie, Queen, and even ABBA had records and posters decorating the walls of the bar. He had to give it to them, whoever was in control of the decorating had good fucking taste.

He turned his head back to the bar, curious to taste what Regulus called real wizarding alcohol for the first time since he left Wales. The bartender stood with his back to him, a bottle of Berry Oct Rot in his hand as he mixed different liqueurs into several glasses. His dark brown curly hair brushed the collar of his white button-up shirt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows to reveal brown skin.

He turned around to pass the drinks to the men sitting on the other side of Remus, giving them a smile that Remus knew too well. He had been on the receiving end of that smile so many times in his young teenage years. And this was way too much of a fucking coincidence. His heart picked up and he debated fleeing the scene, running out of there before he confronted a piece of his past. He knew that once one piece would emerge, the rest would surely follow.

However, he was not fast enough to react and James started turning his head towards him, “I’ll be with you in a—” the man double-backed to look at him in disbelief, “Remus?”

“James,” Remus said breathlessly.

James’ face was one of true shock and elation. He still had similar glasses on his face as when he was younger, framing those brown eyes and long eyelashes. Merlin, those Quidditch posters didn’t do James justice. They only displayed a glimpse of the genes he had received from Effie and Fleamont.

“Remus, you’re in London? What? Why? How long?” James spluttered. “Is this why I haven’t heard from you in two years?”

Remus was immediately hit with guilt and regret. One of the things he hated himself for was how he had treated James. The man had tried so hard to keep in touch with Remus and spent so many letters trying to convince him to let him come visit. Even when Remus stopped replying he kept sending letters. He didn’t know what was in those—anger, sadness, disappointment—he let his mother decide the fate of those. And even now—two years after he stopped replying to James—he hoped his mother threw them away. He wouldn’t want to hear James’ reaction to him not replying. Not that it mattered, the man was standing in front of him with a look of pure disbelief on his face.

“I guess the cat’s out of the bag,” Remus said, suddenly nervous. “I’ve been in London for two years for my job. What are you doing here?”

“In London? I live here,” James said, giving Remus an expression that screamed duh. He wondered how easily James could fall back into the same teasing and charm he used on Remus, even after Remus being such a shitty friend to him the past few years.

“Not London here. Here here. I thought you were a national Quidditch player?” Remus asked, a frown on his face.

“I am. For Puddlemere United. I guess you still don’t follow Quidditch. It’s the off-season,” James chuckled before his face turned into one of terror. “You don’t know?”

“Know what?”

“This is Sirius’ bar. He owns it.”

Remus’ blood runs cold. Of course, it is. The Black Dog. He should’ve had his suspicions from the name alone.

He slid off the chair and onto his feet. “I’ve got to go.”

James looked at him with a look of pure desperation, ignoring the protests from the people gathered around the bar. “Please stay. I want to catch up with my old friend. Sirius won’t be here for another hour at least.”

“As much as I would love to stay and talk to you, it’s not just the owner that is the issue,” Remus told James, purposefully omitting the eldest Black brother’s name, “I am meeting someone.”

James’ mouth fell open in shock for a fleeting moment before shutting his mouth and nodding, “You got a hot date?”

“He would love to be referred to as that,” Remus rolled his eyes.

“Well, he isn’t here yet. Can you hang around until then…” He turned to some impatient men down the bar, “I’ll be with you in a second.” Then he was back talking to Remus, “Once he gets here you can take your date elsewhere.”

Remus was still in too much shock to correct James on Regulus. It slipped his mind that James could have assumed that Remus had meant Regulus would love to be referred to as hot and not his date. He forgot that James didn’t know that he and Regulus were friends and this was how the two flatmates talked to and about each other.

James handed him a drinks menu, “Here’s our house specials. Please, let me make you one.”

Remus reluctantly accepted it as James turned to serve the men.

The Black Dog

• Moonshine
• Lost Lover
• Howling Hangover
• Bane of Existence
• No Good
• Mischief

Suddenly James was back in front of him. “No Good and Mischief are best together in my opinion.”

Remus was still staring at the drink menu, confusion running through his brain. So many of these names seemed… oddly specific. He eventually smiled up at James, “I guess I’ll have to grab that then.”

He knew he couldn’t stay much longer but he’d give James the courtesy of one drink and leave once Regulus got here. As much as Regulus would love the opportunity to punch his brother in the face, Remus did not want a confrontation today. Or any day, for that matter.

James moved around the bar with surprising ease for someone who was not professionally trained and just helping out a friend. Remus glanced around the bar as James was busy serving, constantly keeping an eye out for a head of black hair that belonged to two people.

Two drinks were placed in front of him by a smiling James. “On the house,” he told Remus. One of the drinks was a shot glass with a pure red liqueur inside, beside it a taller glass that appeared clear but swirled every now and then with a sparkling glow.

As Remus eyed the drinks, James informed him, “You can either tip the shot—No Good—into the taller glass or use Mischief Managed as an alcoholic chaser. You can’t taste the alcohol in Mischief Managed but it’s more fun than your regular, non-alcoholic chaser.”

Remus nodded as he tipped the shot into the taller glass, not feeling like a shot would do him any good right now. He took a sip of the drink and it seemed alive in his mouth, sparkling as it danced across his tongue and fell down his throat.

“So,” James began. “What’s your job in London?”

“I work for The Daily Prophet.”

His old friend gasped, “Do you know who Rowen is? Siri—” he cleared his throat, “I love reading his stories. They are one of the highlights of my day.”

Remus’ stomach erupted into butterflies because was James about to say that Sirius was a fan of his writing? The same Sirius who stuck his nose up at every book Remus had read during his time at Hogwarts. He almost wanted to laugh at the irony. Did Sirius read his stories and realise quite a fair few of them were written about him?

He gave James a sly smile, “I do. But I’m under an oath not to reveal his identity.”

“Shame. I’d love to know who the owner of that brilliant mind is. The whole of Puddlemere United are fans.”

Remus knew a lot of people read his stories but Quidditch players? They were celebrities in the wizarding world. He wondered whether James and these Quidditch players looked at Regulus’ book reviews. How funny would that be if Sirius unknowingly read about something his brother wrote?

“I’ll admit I don’t follow Quidditch that much but when does the season start?”

James laughed, “Still the same aren’t you, Remus? Never had quite the interest in Quidditch. It restarts at the end of May. Why? Do you want to catch a game?”

He didn’t want to put James down but didn’t want to give him false hope too, opting to respond with a shrug. “I’m not opposed to it.”

“I’d love to have you in the crowd. Now that I know you are here—in London—could I grab your address? I want to send letters to you again.”

Remus’ heart swelled. But he knew he couldn’t do that without talking to Regulus first. “I’ll get back to you on that one.”

James nodded, “I can give you mine before we part ways. I moved out of Potter Manor to be closer to Sirius and the training grounds. The constant apparating was giving me headaches.”

Remus hummed in agreement; he never liked apparating either. On the day before the full moon, he had to floo back home to Wales from Evan and Barty’s apartment so he could safely experience the full moon with no threat to the muggles around him.

“We never really talked about school in our letters. Where’d you end up going?” James asked after several moments of silence between them.

It was true, James and Remus had kept their letters away from anything to do with Remus’ life at Hogwarts, including the topic of school itself. It was usually discussions of music, books, movies, and the occasional letter from James asking him whether he had changed his mind about letting James visit.

“Dad homeschooled me once I left.” Remus took another sip of his drink. “Dumbledore insisted on providing me with the material and resources I needed to continue my study at home, much to Dad’s disapproval. Dumbledore got in touch with Durmstrang and I sat the OWLs there.”

“You went all the way to Scandinavia to sit the OWLs?”

“I didn’t have another choice,” Remus shrugged. “It was either sit the exams there or don’t sit the exams at all. And I wanted to get the credit for my schooling.”

James gave him a look that had the unsaid words: You had Hogwarts. But James knew better than to say that to Remus. Instead, he cocked his head at Remus and asked him a question that took him by surprise, “Can I ask you something: are you happy?”

That was a loaded question that Remus needed almost half a minute to consider. To his standards right now he was ‘happy’. But was it the same happiness compared to his earlier years at Hogwarts that he spent with his friends, pulling pranks and laughing over stupid things? No. It was a kind of happiness that succeeded in filling the hole in his chest. He loved his friendship with Regulus and Lily. He was happy with the job he had and the emotions he evoked in the people who read his stories.

“Yes,” he said finally. “I am happy.”

James smiled at Remus but failed to hide the sadness behind it. Remus was always good at reading emotions and James was always bad at hiding his. It was something that was both a gift and a curse for the two of them.

“I do miss you, James,” he assured him. “Just because I’m happy doesn’t mean I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life.”

James smiled warmly at Remus before his face dropped in pure panic, turning white as a ghost. “Fuck. Remus, I am so sorry. He wasn’t meant to be back yet, I swear.”

The hairs on the back of his neck rose as he heard a voice behind him call out towards them, “Prongs! You haven't seen my wand have—”

Sirius’ voice was slightly deeper but it had the same tone and deliverance as he had when he was younger. And Merlin, even with the years spent apart and the fact that Sirius had betrayed him, it didn’t stop the chills that ran down his spine. It hit Remus then, hearing the voice of a grown-up Sirius seven years later. They had spent more time apart than the time they had together.

Lily had told him that the cells in the human body were fully replaced after seven years. So scientifically, Sirius was a new person with cells that did not recognise Remus. Cells that would not remember how it felt the last time they touched.

Maybe it was the horror on James’ face or the way Remus held himself or maybe their bodies—with entirely new cells—were still capable of recognising each other. Because, despite not being able to see his face, Sirius still paused in the middle of his sentence.

Remus turned around as Sirius sucked in a breath of air and said, “Moony?”

And fucking hell Remus wished he hadn’t turned around on his stool. He would give his soul to be able to erase the past few minutes and cut his conversation with James early to avoid seeing this ghost from his past.

How was it possible that the years had done Sirius justice, gifting him with even more beauty? Remus wanted to cry. Sirius’ hair was a similar texture to Regulus’ with the same loose curl pattern, however, Sirius’ hair sat in line with his armpit, much longer than his brother’s. The man’s face glowed with health and every single feature on the man’s face was breathtaking. His grey eyes were brought out even more by the black makeup that hugged his eyelashes. A line extending out from the outer corner of each line the same way Marlene and Mary had done their makeup back at school. A hint of silver peaked out from the strands that covered Sirius’ ears, hinting at multiple pieces of jewellery.

He had on a leather jacket—the same one he bought the year Remus left Hogwarts. It was a Sirius staple, he had received multiple warnings and detentions in their fifth year for trying to wear it to class when everybody else was in their robes.

They spent what felt like minutes studying each other, the outside world slowing down around them. The bar was filled with noise and people but it all filtered out until it was just the two of them in front of each other as if nothing else in the world mattered.

It was too much for Remus. He wanted to be anywhere other than in this crowded room, seven years and several metres between him and Sirius. The man’s eyes ran up and down Remus’ body from where he was still seated on the stool. And he was glad for that, if he was standing he was sure he would have collapsed at the sight of the eldest Black Brother. And shit that was when it hit him. Regulus. He was more than likely—almost certainly—going to show up any second now and start a fight in the middle of a bar.

“James I’m leaving now,” Remus climbed to his feet and nodded towards his friend over his shoulder.

Sirius was still frozen, mouth hanging open slightly in a way that brought Remus’ attention to his full lips. They were tinted and glossy like makeup had been applied to them which should be illegal. Remus wanted to sit down and sob at the thought of Sirius’ lips, a distant memory playing in his mind.

As Remus was leaving the bar his werewolf hearing picked up on James hissing at Sirius, “You stood there with your mouth hanging open? Really? You’ve been waiting for years to see Remus again to apologise and you just blew it. You weren’t even supposed to be here for another hour.”

Regulus walks into the bar as Remus is leaving, a confused look on his face upon seeing Remus’ facial expression. “Remus, what happened? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Ghost,” Remus confirmed, voice strained.

Regulus’ face darkened, understanding what Remus meant. “No fucking way.”

One second Regulus was at his side and the next he was gone, pushing through the crowd in the direction that Remus had come from.

Remus’ ears filtered out the background noise of the bar, a benefit of him being a werewolf.

Sirius’ voice was the first he made out, full of surprise as he exclaimed, “Regulus? What the—” Remus’ ears were filled with the sound of a fist colliding with flesh. “Ouch! Fuck!”

Remus couldn’t hear Regulus say anything in response, likely already walking back to find Remus. However, something unusual happened. James’ voice sounded on the edge of breaking as he said the man’s name. “Reggie?”

“Jamie?” Remus knew Regulus was shocked despite being unable to see his face.

“Ow,” James shouted, “did you just punch me?”

“You deserve it,” Regulus said simply.

Now it was Remus’ turn to be confused. He didn’t realise these two were that closely acquainted. He didn’t know of anyone allowed to call Regulus ‘Reggie.’ Sirius had done it in their early years at Hogwarts but that had changed after he left the Black Manor to move in with James and his family.

Regulus reappeared beside Remus, dragging him toward the door while hissing, “You could’ve warned me that James Potter would be there.”

Remus broke out of his daze to glance at Regulus, “How’s your hand?”

“Prettier than their faces,” Regulus assured him.

James’ POV

James cradled his injured chin, watching Regulus disappear through the crowd in the direction of the door. Fucking Merlin. Despite being a head shorter than him and leaner, Regulus could throw a mean punch.

But, oh. He saw Regulus—Reggie—again for the first time in five years. He saw him standing in front of him, not in his dreams. It was a brief moment before a fist was colliding with his cheekbone that he got to take in the beauty that was Regulus Black. And all he needed was a brief glance at the man to fall back under his spell. Fuck. He was so pathetic. The man didn’t want him. Not back then and not now. But James couldn’t help but acknowledge the devastatingly attractive man.

Regulus had always been attractive, it was something shared between him and Sirius. It was hard for James to explain but Regulus was just so pretty. Despite the five years they had apart it hadn’t taken away from the beauty of the man’s face.

He just wished he had more time to study it and commit it to memory before his daze was broken by a fist to the face.

Sirius was the one to break the silence, “You don’t think they were here together, do you?” His voice was small, almost resigned.

But somehow, James’ gut knew that they were. Remus had told him as much when he implied he was here for a date. But Regulus? How in Merlin’s name had those two even become acquainted? Was the universe out to get him, pushing one of his closest friends and the man who broke his heart together?

He decided to spare Sirius from James’ thoughts. The last thing his friend would want to know is his old friend—who he hadn’t seen or spoken to in years—was possibly dating his little brother. It felt like some cruel joke like at any moment a crew holding muggle cameras would jump out and scream ‘We got you!’

So, instead, he told his friend, “It would be an awful coincidence if they were.”

“I suppose so,” Sirius replied before laughing humourlessly. “Wouldn’t that be funny—my brother and my ex-best friend becoming friends.”

Sirius walked over to where Remus was seated minutes ago at the bar, slumping on the stool and resting his head on the table. He made a noise that sounded to James like a groan. “What the fuck? What the fuck?” he grumbled into the wood. “I’m still processing. Can you pinch me? I’m not sure if I’m dreaming.”

“Doesn’t the shiner your brother gave you prove that?”

“So that really happened? Remus was in my bar. Regulus too. They were really here?”

“In the flesh.”

“And I’ll never see them again, will I?”

“You never know,” James shrugged, feeling equally as hopeless as Sirius. “I was going to give Remus our address when he left. But then you showed up.”

“Fuck. Stupid wand. Now I ruined your chances at fixing your relationship with Remus.”

“You should try fixing your relationship too. With Remus and Regulus.”

“Remus,” Sirius sighed as the name left his lips. “I fucked up so bad. He didn’t even say a word to me,” Sirius slumped his shoulders in defeat. “And Reg—I treated him so badly before we left Hogwarts. Our last conversation…” he took in a shaky breath, “...I wish I could go back and change it. I wish I tried once more to convince him to leave that house.”

“I’m sure Reggie got his anger out of his system,” he gestured to the bruises forming on their faces. “I think you should try to talk to him.”

“Maybe,” Sirius sighed before snapping his head towards James. “Wait. Reggie?”

James’ face paled.

Sirius gasped, “He called you Jamie. You hate that nickname. No one calls you that.”

“Why do you think I don’t want anyone calling me that?” James mumbled, a flush forming over his cheeks to his own dismay.

“The secret relationship you had at Hogwarts was my little brother? He was the one who broke your heart? The reason you have the Leo constellation tattooed on your side wasn’t your Gryffindor House pride, was it? It was for him? Merlin, Prongs.”

James scowled, “As if you can talk with all of your tattoos. Good thing you had your leather jacket on. Wouldn’t want Remus thinking you were obsessed or something.”

Sirius ignored him. “My little brother. Regulus. How didn’t I know? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It was over before we both mutually agreed to. And what was the point in bringing it up once it was over? I didn’t think Regulus wouldn’t want that.”

“Don’t stop calling him ‘Reggie’ just because I called you out,” Sirius scoffed. “I am your best friend for fuck’s sake. You were a mess for months—not even that—years. I still catch you staring off into the distance with a lovesick and heartbroken look on your face. If I knew I could have—”

“What? Beaten the shit out of him like he just did to us? He made it clear when he ended it that nothing would change his mind.”

“He said that you deserved the punch. Do you know why he said that?”

James sighed defeatedly, “No fucking clue.”

“The punch he gave you showed that he cared, James. It showed that he still does. Something must have happened that you are unaware of that led to this mess.”

“Careful, Pads. It sounds like you want me and your little brother together.”

“He made you happy once,” Sirius shrugged. “If he can do it again then you have my blessing. I want to let go of my anger towards him for what my parents did. I didn’t realise until today how much I want my little brother back. What I saw from him then, that heat in his eyes before he…”

“Punched you in the face?” James supplied.

“Yes,” Sirius said sourly. “I realised I don’t know Regulus. I don’t know my own little brother. I used to know him so well, we were all we had when we were young. But now, I don’t recognise him. But maybe that’s a good thing, maybe he is finally able to be himself.”

“Do you know if he got out?”

“Of the Black Manor? I learnt from Andy at the end of last year that he got out at eighteen. The smart little shit waited until he had access to his funds before he ran away.”

“Smarter than you?” James asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh bugger off,” Sirius shoved at him. “I would have died in that house.”

“I’m glad you didn’t.”

“I want to hear you and Reg’s story,” Sirius asked. “Let me see if I can help you find where it went wrong.”

He knew that Sirius just wanted a distraction from his own thoughts. Yet, James still agreed. This was a story he should have told his friend a long long time ago.

Flashback – 10th June 1978 (exactly one week before the Marauders left Hogwarts for the last time)

“Reggie, Reggie, Reggie,” James chanted as he pulled the Slytherin from the empty corridor into the alcove. He pressed Regulus against the wall with a smile, not completely paying attention to the expression on the boy’s face.

He had been waiting with the map and invisibility cloak patiently for Regulus to walk down this corridor on his way to the library. It was Hogsmeade day and James had shrugged off his friends to get this opportunity to talk to Regulus. He hadn’t had the chance to talk to him in two days. He assumed that Regulus was too busy to answer his letters or stop by the Astronomy Tower or the Room of Requirement to see him.

It wasn’t like Regulus to not reply to James—he would usually at least send a note to tell him he was busy—but James knew to be patient with the Slytherin. Regulus had his reasons.

“Reggie. Reggie. Reggie,” he punctuated every chant with a press to a part of Regulus' body—a quick peck to his cheek, to his lips, to his neck. “My star,” he whispered against the boy’s neck as he kissed and nipped his way down.

“Jamie,” his voice was shaky as his hands moved to grip James’ shoulders.

James dismissed the shakiness of his voice as a result of what he was doing to the boy’s neck, sucking down on the boy’s skin even though Regulus made a fuss about having to cover the marks. James didn’t care. He had one week left with Regulus before they would part ways—James leaving Hogwarts and Regulus returning to the Black Manor for the break at the end of the school year before returning to Hogwarts for his seventh year. James wanted to spend this entire last week wrapped up in Regulus’ arms because he knew he would struggle with long distance but he was willing to try to make it work. He couldn’t see a future for himself without Regulus in it like their fates were intertwined when they entered the world.

“James,” Regulus said firmly, pushing at his shoulders. James immediately released the boy and Regulus took several steps back. James immediately followed—because he would follow anywhere Regulus went—only to be met with Regulus’ outstretched hand colliding with his chest, stopping him from closing the gap between them.

It was then that he focused on reading Regulus’ face and saw the mask he had tried—and failed—to put up to hide his emotions. It was a mixture of emotions that James had learnt to read. Subtle hints that gave away what Regulus was feeling. It was mainly in the eyes, Regulus’ eyes always gave his thoughts away. Right now he could see a mix of sadness, anger, longing and lust in his eyes—something that scared him.

“We need to talk,” Regulus told him.

No. He couldn’t be. Those were the four words nobody wanted to hear from who they believed to be the love of their life. Those words, usually followed by five more that had the ability to shatter a person’s heart and soul: we need to break up.

But technically James and Regulus weren’t officially together. James wanted to be. Badly too. But he didn’t want to scare Regulus away. It turned out that it didn’t even matter, Regulus was going to break his heart anyway.

“This thing was nice and all,” Regulus continued, “but it won’t survive outside of Hogwarts.”

“What do you mean ‘won’t survive’? You aren’t even going to try?”

“We didn’t start this with the intention of it going on beyond school. It’s time for it to end.”

“No. No. Reggie, I don’t believe you.” James replied, his voice shaking.

Regulus’ words confused him. James definitely did not start this relationship with it intending to end because he was leaving Hogwarts. Did the words get lost in translation somewhere?

“You don’t have to believe me, James. But I do mean what I say.”

“I want to try with you. I want to try and have a future beyond Hogwarts.”

“I don’t believe you,” Regulus said sadly. “It’s over, James. It was nice for me while it lasted.”

The ‘for me’ sounded bitter and emphasised coming out of Regulus’ mouth, but James was too focused on Regulus’ retreating figure to question the boy about it.

“Regulus… no, no, you can’t do this to me. You are it for me. No one else. Please don’t leave me. Whatever I’ve done I didn’t mean it. Let me fix it.”

“Oh James,” Regulus blinked back the tears that were appearing in his eyes, “you don’t need to keep trying.”

Regulus didn’t want James to try and fight for them? He didn’t want him to try to fix things?

“I will wait for you. I will wait a lifetime for you if I have to.”

“Maybe in another lifetime we'll work out,” Regulus said before slipping out of the alcove and disappearing too quickly for James to follow.

James collapsed with his back against the wall that he had Regulus pinned against a few minutes ago. His thighs were pressed against his chest, his forehead resting on his knees as he curled in on himself. That was when the tears came. Big, shuddering sobs rocked his body as he cried for the relationship he lost, cried for the idealised future he lost.

He removed his glasses at one point, folding them up and placing them on the ground beside him. It felt like hours before no more tears escaped his eyes—he believed he had drained himself of them. He then stared straight ahead, lost in his thoughts.

What the fuck went wrong?

Present – 6th May 1983

James and Sirius stood in silence in The Black Dog, the muffled music and the conversations carrying on around them. Sirius’ hired bartender, Rosa, had now arrived and was behind the bar making and serving drinks to the impatient men and women.

The two men had gone to an empty corner and cast a silencing charm around them that prevented the other people in the bar from hearing them, but also muffled the voices of their customers and the music.

James had finished telling Sirius his perspective of his past relationship with his best friend’s little brother, leaving out the parts that would cause the eldest brother to start throwing up. Sirius tried his best to break down what James remembered of their break up to no true success—either James’ memory was faulty or Regulus had truly ended things with him for what he believed to be the best. That, however, still didn’t explain the response to seeing James here tonight.

Eventually, Sirius once again broke the silence, opening his mouth hesitantly, “James, there’s something I haven’t told you about me and Remus. Something that I probably should have mentioned. On Remus’ birthday before he left…”

Flashback – 17th March 1976 (The morning Remus left Hogwarts)
Remus’ POV

“What happened, Remus? James came and got me. Sirius is a mess outside,” Lily rushed to his side, taking the seat and scooting it closer to the bed.

“I’m leaving, Lily,” Remus said, his voice breaking as he said her name.

Lily’s eyes grew wide. “What do you mean you’re leaving?”

“Dad’s taking me away from here. I’m gonna be homeschooled, I think.”

“What happened? Sirius is outside the Hospital Wing right now sobbing into James’ chest. I thought you died.”

Remus broke down, the reality of the situation truly hitting him. Lily didn’t hesitate to start running her fingers through her hair in a comforting gesture, avoiding brushing against or putting pressure on his wounds. He hated that he had these marks from his werewolf’s claws on his chest—he desperately needed a hug right now.

Eventually, he forced the words out of his throat, hiccupping after every few words, “Sirius kissed me on my birthday and ruined my life less than a week later.”

“Oh, Remus,” Lily looked at Remus as if her heart had shattered too. She knew how Remus had felt about Sirius, she had known for years, even before he had verbally told her. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

Remus shook his head. “I don’t think I have long. Can you just stay and hold my hand?”

“Of course,” Lily said, picking up his hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it. “I’m not leaving your side until you want me to.”

Remus wanted to tell her that he didn’t want to go, that he wanted to stay here with her. But he couldn’t bring himself to say the words. He was full of anger, sadness and disappointment. The last place he wanted to be was in the same castle as Sirius Black.

Present – 7th May 1983

“I’m supposed to be at work right now,” Lily huffed as she walked into their apartment. “One of you better be dead or dying.”

“It’s Regulus,” Remus sighed, “his pride is stopping him from visiting St Mungo’s to get his wrist looked at.”

“His wrist? What the fuck did he do? Wasn’t he at a bar with you last night?” Lily furrowed her eyebrows. “What did he do? Fall on his arm as he walked piss drunk up the stairs?”

Remus winced, “He kind of… punched someone.”

“Punched someone?” Lily’s face morphed into one of horror and intrigue, “I didn’t think Reg knew how to fight.”

“He doesn’t…” He winced again. “Hence the possibly broken wrist.”

“Well, where is our little delinquent?” Lily sighed. “I want to see the damage.”

Remus walked up to Regulus’ door and knocked sharply twice. “Reg? Lily’s here to look at your wrist.”

When they were met with silence, he gave an apologetic look to Lily, “Sorry. We are both a little rattled after last night. We haven’t spoken much since we got home.”

“Something major happened then, yeah?” Lily asked, concerned. The emotion was written all over her face.

“Yeah.”

Regulus eventually opened the door and walked out, his free hand cradling his injured wrist. A scowl was directed at Remus, as if calling Lily was the worst thing in the world. Merlin, the man was so dramatic.

“Come sit,” Lily told Regulus, sitting down on the couch and patting the empty space beside her.

“I live here, Evans,” Regulus rolled his eyes. “I don’t need an invitation to sit.”

“This room is now being treated like a Hospital room since you were too proud to go and get the treatment it needed,” she smiled sweetly at him despite the harshness of her words.

As Regulus took a seat she frowned as she looked into his face. “I was expecting a few bruises on your face too. Possibly a broken nose.”

Regulus scoffed, “Is this where I say: you should see the other guy?”

“Is this where you reveal the identity of said other guy?” Lily raised her eyebrows.

“Guys, ” Remus whispered, quite drawn. “He punched two guys.”

“And you walked away with nothing but an injured wrist from your lack of education about throwing a punch? That’s impressive, Reg. I’m impressed,” Lily told the man.

She then gestured for Regulus’ arm, pulling it in front of her with a sharp tug when he held it out.

“Fucking hell, Evans,” Regulus hissed. “You treat all your patients like this?”

She ignored him as she waved her wand over the injury sight, casting complex diagnostic spells that likely weren’t necessary. “You fractured your scaphoid. It's an easy fix, I’ll just give you a dose of Skele-Gro and wrap the wrist so you don’t move it as the bone heals.”

“Why aren’t you reaching for your medical bag?” Regulus narrowed his eyes in her direction.

Said medical bag appeared to be a small bag which wasn’t what someone usually pictured when they were told about a portable medical kit. It had surprised Remus the first time he saw it, he had visited St Mungo’s many times since leaving Hogwarts and knew of the wide variety of healing potions and tools that aided various injuries and illnesses. It wasn’t until Lily opened the bag and reached in—up to her elbow—that he realised the bag had an extender charm on it. Genius invention, really.

“I want to hear about your eventful night last night.”

“No deal,” Regulus scowled, pulling his arm away from the witch. “I’ll wait for it to heal the Muggle way.”

“Fine by me,” Lily shrugged. “You want my service, you pay for my service.”

“Remus,” Regulus looked toward him. The rest of his face was one of indifference but his eyes told a different story. They were reflected with desperation, silently asking Remus to step in.

“Lily,” Remus sighed. “It’s complicated. I realised last night that I don’t know Regulus as well as I thought I did. But I don’t blame him for that—I have things that he doesn’t know either.”

Regulus nodded, “That punch last night was for both of us.” He gestured with his uninjured hand between him and Remus.

Remus knew then that Lily was smart enough to figure out the identity of one of the men. There was one clear answer to what Regulus had said. Even if Regulus hadn’t meant to give it away, he quite possibly had just done so.

And sure enough, Lily glanced between them, deep in thought. Eventually, she exclaimed, “One of the men you punched was Sirius.”

Regulus sighed, “You figured it out just from that? Who am I kidding? Of course, you did.”

“I might not know your story, Reg. But I do know Remus’. And as much as I don’t condone violence, I can’t help but be pleased that you faced the situation and did it for both of you,” she paused, before reaching into her bag and returning with the Skele-Gro. “I know that opening up about your past is hard; all of us struggle with that. You two have heard my story about my sister, and my relationship struggles with Mary. I find it better to talk to someone about it. You never know, it might help you too. I’m happy to listen when and if you are ready.”

Regulus tilted his head at Lily, seeming to examine the expression on her face. He reached out and took the potion she held out, unstopping it and sculling the contents. Lily then reached for Regulus’ wrist with a roll of bandage in her hand, starting the process of wrapping his wrist so it couldn’t move as it healed.

“I would like to try that.” The sound of Regulus’ voice made Remus himself want to cry. It was so small and vulnerable, echoing the feeling Remus had inside of him following the confrontation yesterday.

“You don’t have to start big. We can take little steps,” Lily assured him, not looking away from her work on Regulus’ wrist.

“No,” Regulus said firmly, despite the little shake in his voice. “The whole story is big, there is no way of starting small. I realise now that I’ve spent so much of my life with it bottled up inside of me and maybe it would be good to tell my friends. It helps you, Lily. Maybe it can help me too.”

Lily finally looked up and offered Regulus a smile that Remus had seen a million times before when he was telling Lily about his own troubles.

As the younger Black brother opened his mouth a loud knock sounded at their front door, pushing the words back down his throat.

Remus sighed in frustration, “That better not be who I think it is.”

He walked to the door and opened it for a brief second before slamming it closed again. He turned towards Lily and Regulus, ignoring the banging on the door and the muffled shouts from the hallway outside.

“It’s Barty and Evan,” he told Regulus even though it was obvious who it was before they even opened the door.

“I figured from the ruckus they are causing on the other side of the door.”

“Do you want me to get rid of them or let them in?” He asked. Remus wanted to be sure that Regulus was okay with trying to open up about his past with Barty and Evan in the room. The three boys were close friends but Regulus wasn’t someone who liked to show his vulnerabilities to the people he loved.

Regulus paused for a moment. “You can let them in. We don’t want them breaking down the door or calling the neighbours. Gary already has complained about them too many times.”

“Fucking Gary needs to get a fucking life,” Remus muttered under his breath as he opened the door and met the furious gaze of Barty Crouch Jr.

He stepped towards Remus and pointed a finger in his face, “I did not just walk up that many flights of stairs to have the door slammed in my face.”

“What a pleasure to have you two over. Please come in,” Remus stepped aside as Barty stomped in with a scowl. “Hey Evan,” he nodded at the blonde boy as he walked in behind Barty.

“Now you use manners,” he rolled his eyes as he followed Barty to where they stood in front of Regulus.

“What the fuck happened to Reg? Did he fall up the stairs? I told you that you should have gotten a floo system installed. How the fuck does that ass of a neighbour get up and down them without breaking a hip?”

“He doesn’t,” Remus replied. “He pays some kid to deliver his groceries and never leaves this floor.”

“I knew he lived a sad life,” Evan shook his head. “I would feel sorry for the poor fuck if he wasn’t such an asshole.”

Regulus’ arm was still being wrapped by Lily, and the man was looking at his friends calculatingly as if he was still considering whether to throw them out.

“Back to Regulus,” Evan said. “What the fuck happened?”

“Reg punched someone,” Lily told them simply, with no trace of the shock or horror she had when she first arrived.

“Merlin, Reg,” Barty replied, reaching out to pat his friend on his back with a wide grin, “congratulations.”

Lily huffed at the man and rolled her eyes, “Of course you would congratulate Regulus for punching someone.”

“It’s a major event in someone’s life, Evans.” The grin still hadn’t left Barty’s face.

“So what?” Evan asked. “He hit that hard with the wrong technique that he broke his wrist?”

Regulus scowled at his friends. Regulus was doing a lot of scowling and scoffing at people tonight.

Barty gasped. “I’m ashamed to call you my friend. I will be giving you lessons so next time you don’t hurt yourself.”

“Next time?” Lily, Remus and Regulus said simultaneously in horror.

“What? You punch someone once and it’s almost guaranteed to punch someone else again. Something about the adrenaline is addictive,” Barty told them.

“I think that’s just a Barty thing,” Remus said, slightly concerned for the man. “And I think this was a one-off thing for Reg.”

“How boring,” Barty sighed. “I was going to ask whether he wanted to join my fight club.”

Evan turned towards his boyfriend to clasp a hand over his mouth, glancing apologetically at his friends. “There is no fight club, he’s just being Barty. Hopefully it’s out of his system and we can finally talk about Reg.” He looked back at his boyfriend, “Stop licking my hand. You aren’t a dog,” Evan removed his hand and dropped it back to his side.

“You want me to lick somewhere else?” Barty replied, wrapping an arm around Evan’s waist and pulling him to his side. He then proceeded from the base of his throat all the way up his cheek.

Regulus had clasped his uninjured hand over one of his ears and tilted his head so the other was pressed to his shoulder. His eyes were squeezed shut as he muttered, “La la la la.”

Evan pressed a brief kiss to Barty’s mouth before telling him to “behave.” Once they were turned back to face Regulus—Barty’s arm still around Evan—Lily tapped Regulus to let him know he could safely open his eyes and unblock his ears.

“What’s the story then? Who’d he punch?” Evan asked.

“He was just about to open up to me before you two came barging in,” Lily gave them a pointed glare.

Barty grinned, oblivious to Lily’s glare. “Good timing for us then. Regulus doesn’t have to rewind.”

“Sit down,” Regulus sighed. “I have a long story to tell you.”

“What about?” Evan and Barty asked together.

The man smiled sadly, a distant look on his face. “The sun and a fallen star.”