A-Tisket-A-Tasket
Jamie avoids Regulus for weeks after the Bracebridge dinner. Not that it’s a hard thing to accomplish Regulus is avoiding her too, or at least just going back to how it normally is. Whenever he’s around at the diner he’s on the opposite side, hiding away in the kitchen when she’s upstairs, and creeping upstairs when she’s eating. She doesn’t mind, she’s just trying not to think about the reasons he has to avoid her. She doesn’t want him to come after her, but it’s a strange feeling. She gave away too much. He doesn’t know anything, he won’t, but he knows there is something. That’s enough to make her want to run. She wasn’t built for this anyway. She’s always wanted to climb out of her body. To be a wandering soul running around in the wind, collecting loose leaves and yesterday’s newspapers.
It doesn’t last forever, the whole ignoring each other thing. Slowly Regulus starts appearing around more. Normally just pops into a room to say something to Sirius before disappearing again, but he’s around. Jamie notices him more than she did before, or at least she can admit it again. Regulus hasn’t actually sought her out though, at least not until today.
“What are you doing?”
Jamie turns around, jumping out of her skin as she turns the basket in her hand, “Shopping?”
Regulus walks out further from the shelf, leaning on one closer, “What’s with the baskets?”
Jamie looks back over at the pile, it’s stocked up practically to the ceiling, as it always is this time of year. Small and large, colored and not, whatever you’re looking for you’ll find here. She normally goes for something smaller, not that it matters she knows who will bid on it anyway. She almost wants to ask why he’s talking to her again and what he wants out of this interaction. It has to be something. It’s always something. “It’s this town event.”
Regulus nods, “What event?”
Jamie finally actually looks over at him, at first she thinks he’s wearing one of Sirius’ old shirts, and then her eyebrows knit together with recognition, “What are you wearing?”
Regulus looks down, “A shirt.”
“You stole my shirt,” Jamie accuses.
Regulus shakes his head, “No, borrowed it.”
Jamie blinks, “When did you even get in my house?”
“You told me I could wear your old clothes,” Regulus points out.
“Yeah, but you—“ Jamie sighs, “I didn’t think you would—I didn’t even think you took anything.”
“Clearly you don’t keep a close watch on your things,” Regulus says.
“When did you take it?” Jamie questions.
“The one time I was in your room,” Regulus says.
“But you—“
Regulus puts his hand up to stop her, “The basket?”
Jamie doesn’t know what to do with that. She also doesn’t want to think about the amount of times Regulus has worn the shirt and she just hasn’t seen it. It had to have at least been a few times, it’s been months since that first day. God, that doesn’t seem real, but the flowers are certainly blooming and there’s a certain smell to the air now. Spring arrived a couple of weeks before, no matter how strange it sounds. “It’s a town tradition,” Jamie sighs, “It used to be that girls made baskets for boys to bid on them. It’s for charity.”
“Seems pretty—“
“They changed the rules,” Jamie cuts him off, “Anyone can make a basket and anyone can bid.”
It’s normally the women still but that’s not really a fault of them. Couples normally take over the event, there aren’t many single people still going, though there is a handful. Effie always goes and Monty follows, a dog on a leash to bid on her basket always inflating the price just to make her feel special. Jamie’s always watched after them, feeling the love they feel for each other buried in her chest. After all, it’s what she was created under. It leaves a bitter taste in her mouth this year. Last year it wasn’t as bad. Monty… was Monty, he wasn’t around but they still had a nice day together, as much as they were together that is. Jamie isn’t exactly hopeful for that this year. It’s bleeding her dry.
“So you’re making a basket for…” Regulus trials off.
“The tradition?” Jamie answers.
Regulus sighs, “No shit. I meant who do you think will buy it.”
“Remus,” Jamie answers without thought. They do the same thing every year, not the same people but the same basic plan. It’s always been the same even when Jamie and Remus were together, and when Remus and Sirius got together. It’s how they’ve always done it. They back their baskets with the most disgusting things they can find, spoiled food from the fridge, random concoctions they can make from leftovers, or just absolutely foul stuff they can find in the market. They put it all together nice and neat and see who has the worst one. Whoever brings the least revolting one has to eat the most revolting one, or at least some of it. They get really competitive with it. They always switch who bids on who since it really doesn’t matter they all eat together anyway. This year Remus just so happens to be bidding on Jamie. Jamie is bidding on Sirius. Sirius with Peter and Peter with Remus. Next year it’ll be different. At this point, everyone knows not to bid against them. Some years people try. They give up pretty easily when four sets of death glares get sent their way.
Regulus freezes his jaw clenched, “Why?”
Jamie puts the basket back, preferring to grab one towards the back instead. It’s a little bigger, but orange instead of the normal color, “Why not?”
“I thought Lupin was with my brother,” Regulus says.
Jamie laughs, “Lupin.”
Regulus sighs, “Isn’t he?”
“Yeah,” Jamie looks back at him, “What does it matter?”
“I thought this was like a—“ Regulus shakes his head, “Never mind. When is this event?”
“What you wanna go?” Jamie questions walking past him.
“I want to know when I need to avoid the town square,” Regulus answers quickly following after her, sticking it out at the end of the line.
Jamie sends him a pointed look but doesn’t tell him to go away, “It’s this weekend.”
“Saturday?” Regulus questions.
Jamie nods, “At eleven, it’ll probably go for an hour maybe a bit longer. Then people will disperse and eat around the square so if you really want to avoid it I’d hold yourself up for a few hours.”
Regulus nods, “Right.”
Jamie checks out fairly quickly, she’s not shopping around to buy any of the food yet, there’ll be nothing good here anyway. Nothing the others wouldn’t get themselves, she’s thinking about driving a few towns over, seeing what she can get there. They have a rule that they can’t order stuff online it has to be stuff they’ve found out and about, there’s no rule but driving out-of-town lines though. She’ll make some stuff too, that always gives her extra points. She has tonight before her dad gets back, he’ll take the kitchen.
Regulus trails after her, following her even out the door and onto the sidewalk, she stops in her tracks, “Did you need something?”
Regulus blinks, his eyebrows knitting together, “That was mean?” It’s a question more than anything.
Jamie shrugs, “Okay?”
“You’re not—“ Regulus sighs shaking his head, he looks her up and down, so quick she almost misses it. “Your Dad’s not home right?”
Jamie freezes, “No, he’s not? Why?”
Regulus pauses, bouncing on his feet, Jamie’s never seen him squirm before, it’s entertaining. “Can I borrow more of your clothes?”
“Steal, you mean?” Jamie questions with a tilt of her head.
Regulus rolls his eyes, “It’s not stealing if I’m asking.”
Jamie almost says no, she’s not even sure why. Well, she is sure why but that’s not Regulus’ fault. She said he could borrow the clothes if he wanted to. She just didn’t think he’d want to, she didn’t think he’d ask for it. She also can’t very well say no now that the offer is out there. Even if being alone in a room with Regulus when he knows about… it doesn’t matter. She nods, “Okay, sure.”
Regulus nods quickly, walking onward, “Alright let’s go.”
Jamie looks after him for a beat, refusing to look forward. Despite everything she still has that light flutter in her chest that refuses to go away at the idea of Regulus wanting to come over. Just the pure want is enough to drive her wild. She picks up her feet eventually, jogging slightly to catch up to him. They don’t talk on the way over. They don’t pass anyone either, believe it or not. At least no one Jamie recognizes. She can’t remember the last time that happened. It’s not that she’s stopped all the time, but one of her friends is always around. Remus spends all his time in the bookstore to get away from home, stocking books for extra cash, or at the very least sitting in the way back tucked between two shelves. Sirius is always in the diner or around it that is, running down the street when things are slow. Peter is a wanderer, you can never quite tell where he’s going to pop his head in. Lily and Marlene are always together, and sticking their faces in the music shop to look at things they can’t afford. Mary on the other hand is never anywhere at all. Jamie doesn’t think she’s seen her anywhere besides band practice.
She almost wants to ask Regulus about his friends back home. She knows of some of them, through Sirius anyway. Barty and Evan are trouble, idiots, but also a pair you can’t have one without the other. Pandora is a little insane but in a good way and is always good to Regulus. Dorcas is the one Sirius liked the most, they used to smoke when they were both there they hardly talked but it was enough to leave an impression. Regulus never brings them up though, he’s constantly texting them at least from what Jamie has seen, but he never talks about them.
They’re already back home before she can even think about asking him anyway, and Regulus is walking up the front steps like he’s been there half a dozen times before. He watches as she opens the door then walks inside and straight to her room.
“Jamie?” Effie calls out from the living room, there’s the low side of the TV just beside her. “You here?”
Regulus doesn’t stop, immediately walking into the room, as Jamie walks into the other doorway. “Yeah, it’s me.”
Effie tilts her head back to look at her, “You get your basket?”
Jamie lifts it up, “I’m gonna head out of town for the stuff I think.”
“Of course,” Effie looks back at the screen, “You can’t have the boys steal your ideas.”
“Exactly,” Jamie answers, trailing off, she looks behind her, hearing out for Regulus. He’s quiet and barely makes a sound. Sirius was like that too for a little bit anyway, until he got very loud. Everyone knows when Sirius is around.
“You okay?” Effie looks at her again.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Jamie brushes it off, “It’s just that—“
The sound of something being knocked down sounds from the other room. Okay so maybe Regulus isn’t that quiet.
“Is someone else here?” She questions.
“Regulus,” Jamie answers slowly.
Effie hesitates, “Regulus is here?”
Jamie nods, “Yeah.”
“Alone?”
“Yeah.”
“Huh,” Effie mulls it over, “Okay,” she shrugs, “Let me know if you want pizza or something, I can order it.”
Jamie really wasn’t that worried about what she’d say to it. She’s very chill with most things all things considered. Jamie has been friends with guys… well her whole life. It’s not that surprising to have one in her room. Effie’s biggest worry is Jamie getting someone pregnant and that’s… actually a worry with Regulus. Huh. Jamie turns around with a nod quickly before she can have the same realization.
When she turns into her room she’s met with a shirtless Regulus with a shirt in his hands as he rummages through the rest of the box, his binder laying tightly against his chest.
“Oh.”
Regulus looks up, “Why are all of these band T-shirts?”
Jamie blinks trying to focus on anything else, she shakes her head, “Uh I like them?”
“You like all these bands?” Regulus questions, quickly throwing one on. It’s the Bangles one, Effie bought that one for her ages ago. It’s worn and faded but it was always one of her favorites. She hasn’t worn it since she came out, she could’ve. It’s not as if these shirts are explicitly masculine, it’s just different. And she wears some of them now but she doesn’t want that one to be ruined yet. She’s not ready for it to be.
“Some of them I just got from thrift stores,” Jamie sits on the edge of the bed. “I’ve listened to some songs from all of them at least though.” She also likes bigger shirts so Regulus is kinda drowning in them a bit, not that he seems to mind. She just liked to hide her form as much as she could, it’s not the same as she pictures for herself. The one she sees in the mirror and the one she sees in her mind. Hiding it makes it easier to pretend.
Regulus hums shortly, reaching at the bottom to pull out a sweater, Jamie honestly didn’t even realize she put it in there. Just as he’s about to put it under his arm Jamie calls out, “That’s Remus’”
Regulus freezes, dropping the item as if he’s been burned, “Why is it in there?”
Jamie shrugs, leaning over to pick it up off the ground, “Forgot about it.”
She used to wear his clothes all the time, when they were dating yeah, but it wasn’t always like that. They all traded clothes at some point. She’s certain Sirius still has some of her old T-shirts. She wears some of Remus’ sweaters especially when her Dad is around. It’s the only thing she actually can feel comfortable in while not getting that jabbing pain in her eye that she’s disappointing him. She puts it on the side of the bed before looking back down at Regulus who’s still looking for an answer, “We wear each other’s clothes all the time, it’s not that big of a deal. It’s comfortable.”
“Hm,” Regulus looks back down, “Is this all?”
Jamie bites her tongue, she wants to say yes, so at least she can keep one box to herself, but that would mean accepting she needs a box for herself, so she points to the top of the closet instead, “There’s another one.”
Regulus jumps up reaching for it.
“It’s mainly just pants, and they won’t fit you,” Jamie answers as he tugs it down.
“Liar,” Regulus says as he pulls the flaps open, pulling out a sweatshirt.
Jamie sighs, “I said mainly.”
Regulus pulls out two sweaters with it. One used to be another of Jamie’s favorites, it's a grandpa sweater, and has little roses circling the entire thing. She could still wear it now if she styled it right, but it’s just different now is all. It doesn’t fit her the way she wants it to.
“I’m gonna take these,” Regulus says matter-of-factly, before closing the box again.
“What?” Jamie asks.
Regulus hums absent-mindedly picking some things off the floor, a handful of shirts, and the sweaters, “These ones.”
It doesn’t leave a lot left for Jamie, there are a couple of shirts but not enough to actually wear frequently. Monty’s not around that much but enough that it makes her anxious, “Okay, yeah,” Jamie says anyway, if only to throw Regulus off the trail. If she’s so calm about it now maybe he won’t think anything is wrong. Maybe he’ll convince himself she’s completely fine.
“Do you have a bag?” Regulus asks.
Jamie looks around tossing him an old tote bag she finds under her bed, “I thought you didn’t like my clothes.”
“Better than Sirius,” Regulus answers simply.
“You could buy your own,” Jamie suggests.
Regulus ignores her, stuffing the clothes in the bag, “So this weekend,” he says as he straightens up.
“Avoid the square from eleven to like three-ish,” Jamie answers.
Regulus nods shortly, “Noted.”
He leaves without another word.
⟡⟡⟡⟡
They’re all standing around in a big group when Saturday comes. They used to split it between the men and the women but it doesn’t matter much anymore. Jamie stands on the opposite side as her parents, tucked in between Remus and Peter. Normally she stands with Effie the entire time, but with Monty there, it’s a little more suffocating. He’s been good today though, he must be in a good mood. He talked to her over breakfast and everything, even if Effie was there and kinda lead him into it. It was almost like it was. It still leaves a bitter taste in her mouth.
“Where’s Minnie?” Sirius walks over to them, late as always.
Remus shrugs, “No one’s seen her.”
“She’s always on time,” Peter points out.
“We still have a few minutes,” Jamie mentions, “She has plenty of time to—“Just as she’s saying it Minnie shows up, marching up the steps to the podium, “Well there you go.”
She’s in charge of most of the town events, it’s her job as town selectman or woman. She was the one who decided to make this event more inclusive for everyone. It’s been around for ages, long before even she came to town. It starts out as it always does, with her introducing how it works, even if everyone in the crowd has done it dozens of times before. She starts grabbing baskets from behind her, there’s more every year. Jamie sees hers towards the front, she’ll probably be the first this year, out of the group anyway. Effie’s basket is the third, and Monty is shouting out bids before Minnie can even finish, a proud gleam in his eyes. No one thinks to bid against him, they all watch him instead as he marches up and collects his prize, walking back to Effie to drag her in. Jamie looks away, her ears ringing. She hasn’t seen her dad that happy in a while, and she’s not even a part of it.
“Now, look at this one,” Minnie says, reaching out for Jamie’s basket, “Nice and small,” she glances over at Jamie with a smirk, “Let’s start the bidding at three dollars.”
“Hey!” Jamie calls out.
“Five dollars,” Remus calls out.
“Nice one, Moony,” Peter chuckles.
“Alright five dollars,” Minnie says, holding up her mallet, “Do we hear ten?”
No one ever bids with them. They did one year, a nice girl got Sirius’ basket, and they let her run off with him only to discover what he actually packed. Rumors spread, and let’s just say everyone keeps a good distance from them when they decide to open them now.
Minnie is just about to hit down on the podium when another voice speaks up, “Ten dollars.”
The crowd freezes as Jamie looks down the aisle to find Regulus standing near the back, wearing the rose sweater. “Oh.”
“Oh,” Sirius repeats, “What the fuck is he—“
Remus nudges him, “Fifteen dollars!”
“Alright,” Minnie shakes her head, “Fifteen do we hear twenty.”
“Thirty,” Regulus shouts out.
Jamie blinks slowly, turning back to Remus, “I didn’t ask him to do that.”
Remus looks just as confused as her, “Forty.”
“Sixty,” Regulus shouts quickly after.
Minnie sighs, “You boys don’t seem to understand the—“ “
“Seventy,” Remus smirks.
“You don’t have seventy dollars to spend on the basket,” Jamie shoves his shoulder.
“Eighty!”
“I don’t think he’ll have to,” Peter mumbles.
After a beat passes Minnie nods with a smile, “We have eighty going once! And twice!” Another beat, “Sold to the boy in the back, for eighty dollars.”
Jamie can do nothing but stare as he walks up to collect the basket before walking back to the back of the group. Eventually, Sirius scoffs, “What the fuck just happened?”
“I didn’t think he’d do that,” Jamie replies dumbly.
Remus laughs, “I knew he would.”
Three heads whip to look around at him, “What?”
“It’s so obvious.”
“But—“
“Now,” Minnie calls out stopping the conversation, “Let’s start the bidding at five dollars, for this lovely member.”
Jamie sighs, lifting her hand, “Five dollars.”
⟡⟡⟡⟡
“Why would you do that!” Sirius is the first one to reach Regulus out of the group.
Regulus makes no expression, staring off at him, “I thought you wanted me to get involved in town things.”
“You can’t just—“
Remus steps forward, pushing Sirius behind him, “Leave it.”
Regulus ignores them both, turning towards Jamie, “You ready to go?”
“Go where?” Sirius questions.
“Out for lunch?” Regulus answers, “That’s how the whole thing works doesn’t it? The person who buys the basket gets the basket maker’s company.”
“Yeah but—“
“Basket,” Regulus lifts it up in his hands then points to Jamie, “Basketmaker,” he turns to Remus, “Guy who didn’t bring enough money.”
“It’s tradition that we—“ Sirius argues.
“It’s tradition that whoever buys the—“
“Yeah yeah,” Sirius grumbles, he walks over to Jamie, “You better find us after your lunch.”
Jamie shakes her head, “I wouldn’t miss it.”
It’s not that Sirius really minds that Jamie is heading out with Regulus. He doesn’t care what the two of them do, he’s said it so himself, after one of Jamie’s… very long rants about him. Sirius doesn’t care. What he does care about is that this is a tradition between the four of them for years, and now his brother has just gone and ruined it. The town tradition goes first though, it’s been around longer than any of them. The group disperses from there, with Sirius sending death glares at his brother until Remus tugs him away out of sight.
Jamie stares Regulus down, unmoving, “Why would you do that?”
Regulus shrugs, “Where do you want to eat? Anywhere in particular?”
“Do you have a place?”
Regulus pauses, then turns around, “Follow me.”
Jamie does, it’s not like she has much choice in the matter. They walk all through the town, passing all the other couples, and the stores too. Far passed anywhere Jamie has eaten in the past. They normally stick to the outskirts of the town square, so they’ll still be around everyone but they won’t ruin anyone else’s day. Most people just want a nice date with their partner… not whatever they have going on. Jamie wonders whose basket they’re opening up right now. They normally pull straws to see who has to deal with it first. She doesn’t think they’ll wait for her, but they might. They have Sirius’ basket too, Jamie didn’t bother to bring it. Regulus still has her basket though, he has no idea what he’s getting into.
They end up at the little pond on the outskirts of town. Regulus walks across the bridge sitting right in the middle of it, “This is where we’re eating?” Jamie questions, following him. “On the bridge.”
“Yeah,” Regulus says, setting his legs over the side, dangling just above the water.
“You better not push me in,” Jamie grumbles, sitting right beside him.
“Sirius pushed me in once,” Regulus says.
Jamie laughs, she can’t help it, “Why’d he do that?”
Regulus shrugs, “Was pissed off at me.”
"Huh." She doesn’t ask him to elaborate, "So why’d you do it?”
“Do what?” Regulus questions.
“Bid against Remus,” Jamie clarifies, “Why did you spend eighty dollars on a basket? You refuse to spend Andy’s money on clothes but you can use it to what? Piss Sirius off?”
Regulus rolls his eyes, “It was my money first of all, and I didn’t do it just to piss Sirius off, that was just a fringe benefit.”
“Why then?” Jamie asks.
Regulus ignores her, not that she thought he wouldn’t, “Why don’t we open this thing?” He points to the basket.
Jamie bites back a smile, “Go ahead.”
Regulus lifts the flaps, peering inside his eyebrows drawn together, “Hm.”
“What?”
“There’s not one thing in here I would remotely think of eating,” Regulus searching around, picking up the different things she’s got hidden in there. She got some of the leftovers out of the fridge that were practically going back, and then went over and bought some stupid snacks from the next town over. Hot Dog candy canes that had been there since Christmas and were so badly on sale they’re probably long past good if they were ever good in the first place. Some sardine cotton candy, put in a separate bag of course so no one would know going into it. She also took some Twinkies and filled them with Vegemite and mayo. Just disgusting enough to work.
“Well I didn’t make it for you I made it for Remus,” Jamie replies.
Regulus looks up, his eyes narrowed, as he opens the container of leftovers. Probably the least insulting out of all of it, “And Remus would’ve eaten this?”
“Yes, he would have,” Jamie answers, or at least he’d be forced to.
Regulus gives her one more pointed look before fishing out a bite, and quickly putting it in his mouth, “God,” he practically gags, forcing it down, “Remus is an idiot.”
Jamie laughs then, “Remus never would’ve fallen for that.”
“Huh,” Regulus slides the bowl from his lap, locking it back in the basket.
Jamie bites her tongue, “Why do you suddenly like me now?”
“What do you mean?” Regulus asks, putting the basket behind him.
“I mean,” Jamie sighs, “You’ve been avoiding me for weeks.”
Regulus doesn’t answer again, there seems to be a pattern Jamie really should start picking up on it. “Why was Remus buying your basket?”
“You already asked me that,” Jamie says.
“You didn’t answer.”
Jamie sighs, “It’s a stupid tradition, we buy each other's baskets, and it switches every year. This year it just so happened that Remus was buying mine.”
Regulus pauses, “Oh.”
“Yeah, oh,” Jamie teases, laughter bubbling in her throat, “So you really were jealous?”
“No,” Regulus scoffs, a blush rising on his neck.
“Yeah, you were,” Jamie shakes her head, “There’s nothing to be jealous of, we broke up ages ago.”
“You dated!” Regulus exclaims.
Jamie blinks, “Yeah?”
Regulus swallows thickly, “I didn’t know that.”
Jamie laughs, “It’s really not that big of a deal, it was like two years ago.”
“So you dated him before—“
“Sirius, yeah,” Jamie finishes for him, “I remind him of it all the time.”
Regulus goes quiet before mumbling, “That explains the photo on your dresser then.”
Jamie tilts her head, “You were looking at my stuff.”
“You left me alone in there,” Regulus deadpans.
Jamie sighs lightly, “Alright yeah.”
Silence coats the air, and Jamie looks away past the pond. Swans circle around each other towards the shore, while frogs hop around in the mud. She doesn’t spend hardly enough time outside, not with everything. She remembers when she was younger Effie and he would always sit out by the lake at the Inn and watch the parties from afar. They would always be so pretty, with the lights glowing. Sometimes they’d even have fireworks, on a very rare occurrence. If Jamie closes her eyes now it’s almost like she can see them, or hear them popping in her ear.
“What happened to your dresses?” Regulus asks.
Jamie looks back over at him, “What?”
Regulus gestures to your clothes, “I thought you liked dressing up for town things.”
She glances down with him, she wasn’t left with much after Regulus took half of it. Nothing that’s spring-like anyway, she’s just wearing the random shirts she could find in the back of her closet now that Monty is back home. It’s nice and warm out today, well warm enough to wear a dress anyway. She had a perfect one picked out, she’s not sure why she picked one out in the first place. She knew she wouldn’t be able to wear it.
“I just didn’t have anything,” she lies. “All my clothes are dirty.”
Regulus can tell, “Hm.” He stands up, “We should remedy that then.”
Her eyebrows furrow together, “What are you talking about?”
“I’ll take you shopping,” Regulus says.
“I don’t need to—“
“You said you needed clothes,” Regulus says simply.
“Yeah but…” she trails off, “You barely buy clothes for yourself why would you buy something for me?”
Regulus brushes it off, “Let’s go.” He adds, “We can get pizza after or something.”
Jamie said she’d go back to the group soon. She didn’t plan on staying out with Regulus for more than an hour. They have a tradition, she can’t very well break it, but Regulus is holding out his hand to pull her up and she can’t very well say no. She doesn’t think she wants to strangely enough, “Alright fine.” She grabs his hand, vowing to apologize to Sirius later.
⟡⟡⟡⟡
There’s a half-empty pizza box lying on the table and Regulus is halfway across the room sorting through boxes, “What are you doing?” James calls out from the bed feeling the fabric of her new dress underneath her fingertips. They weren’t out very long, maybe an hour, or two actually. She didn’t think Regulus would like it. She really wasn’t planning on staying that long but Regulus kept pushing. Picking up every piece he could get his hands on as he pushed her into the dressing room. He bought her way too much all the bags are strewn about, there’s no way she can take them all home. At least not today, but it made him happy and she forgot how fun it is to just try clothes on. Effie’s been so busy lately she hasn’t taken her out. Jamie felt pretty today, spinning around in the dressing room mirror, or leaning on the the doorway while Regulus looked her up and down being the deciding factor. He always said what she wanted to hear. If she hated something Regulus could tell and would hate it too, and if she loved something Regulus would immediately add it to the cart and wouldn’t take no for an answer.
“I’m gonna teach you to do your make-up,” Regulus mumbles, looking around before reaching for another bag.
“Now?” Jamie questions.
“Why not?” Regulus turns back around.
Jamie has been putting off trying on make-up since she came out. The only experience she has is joking around with Peter in her mum’s vanity. It wasn’t really real. Since she came out Effie suggested she help her try some on if she wanted but Jamie always turned her down. She doesn’t want to like it too much. She doesn’t want to have fun putting it on, so when it’s off she’ll feel even worse than she already does when he has to dress down. It tightens her chest. She wears mascara sometimes and only a little bit when she does it hardly counts. Regulus picked up some while they were at the store, some of the basic things nothing fancy. Wouldn’t take no for an answer even when Jamie said she had no idea how to use it.
“Okay,” Jamie agrees, letting Regulus sit beside her, laying out everything on the sheets. “What do you want me to do?”
Regulus tilts his head, putting his hands on her face to make her face him. His hands are cold, it makes her shiver. He takes her glasses off, making the world fuzzy, the only thing in real clarity is Regulus himself. “For right now, nothing.”
“I thought you were—“
Regulus shakes his head, “I’ll put it on you first,” he says, “Then you’ll know what it looks like, and we’ll take it off and you can try.”
Jamie has no idea how long that’ll take but it’s way past lunch anyway. With the shopping and walking over to the pizza place to get something. They could’ve just taken stuff from the diner they’re above it anyway, but that would involve telling Andy what they’re doing. They’re just lucky she was in the back so they could sneak all the clothes up here. Sirius should be busy with Remus for the rest of the day they always have a date night after the bid-a-basket event anyway. And Peter never comes up here without at least one of them. They’ll be perfectly alone. She still should’ve texted them, she just hasn’t really wanted to look at her phone. She doesn’t want to deal with their anger, not yet anyway.
Regulus is a silent worker, which isn’t exactly a surprise. Jamie sits stiffly, as to not ruin anything as he grabs all the brushes and sets things up. She spaces out for most of it, looking directly at Regulus, there’s really nowhere else to look. He kneads his bottom lip between his teeth as he works, his eyes darting around her face. This is the closest he’s ever been to her, and she almost wants to lean in more, to be even closer.
“Relax,” Regulus grumbles, pulling away.
“I am relaxed!”
Regulus sends her a pointed look, “You can move you know.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t want to—“
Regulus sighs, setting his hands on her shoulders, “This will be better for both of us if you’re not as stiff.”
Jamie shakes her head, “I’m not—“
“Oh my god,” Regulus grumbles, pushing her down on the bed. He stands on the side setting her up on the pillow, setting her hair to lay across it, “There.”
Jamie blinks, “There what?”
“You’re relaxed,” Regulus answers.
“Yeah but how are you—“Without another word Regulus climbs on her stomach, his knees hitting the sides of the mattress, “Oh.”
“This okay?” Regulus questions, leaning back to pick up the pallet again.
Jamie gapes, not really finding the words, she wants to reach up and put her arms on Regulus’ waist, but she’s too afraid to move, as if he’d move.
“Jamie,” Regulus calls out, “Is this okay?”
“Yeah,” Jamie stumbles over her words, “Yeah this is okay it’s okay.”
Regulus bites back a smile, “Alright then.” He leans in again, “Close your eyes.”
Jamie doesn’t want to, but she does what she’s told anyway. Settling back on the pillow, she finally relaxes even with Regulus’ weight on her. The windows open bringing in the wind and birds chirping just outside the window, the sound of spring. There’s some chatter from the street just outside but it’s too far away to really make out any of the words. Jamie doesn’t worry about it much, not with Regulus’ face right next to her own. There are times when she squints her eyes open just to catch a peek, and Regulus swats her cheek to get her to close them again. Time is fuzzy and wrong, Jamie really isn’t sure how long it takes. The only indication is the sun from outside the window, turning to a shade of orange and sliding across the floor.
Jamie never thought she could be this comfortable with someone she really doesn’t know that well. Sure, it’s been a few months since she met Regulus but they haven’t talked all this much, and yet it just feels right. He takes none of her energy, she has no real craving to crawl into her room and not come out of it for days. She feels right. She’s not really sure what to do with that, she just wants to stay in this little bubble forever. Locked from the outside world for as long as they can manage.
Regulus hums, “I think I’m done.”
Jamie blinks her eyes open, fighting the urge to rub the light from them, “Can I see?”
Regulus tilts his head, mulling it over, before his eyes light up, “Wait, I forgot.” He ruffles around the bags asking, “Cherry or Strawberry?”
Jamie pauses with consideration, “Cherry.”
Regulus nods, ripping apart the packaging to fish the lipgloss out. He bought the flavored ones, he thought Jamie would like them more. It’s weird how he knows her so well already. Regulus adjusts on her stomach leaning back in. Jamie goes to take the gloss but Regulus beats her to it, “I’ll do it.”
“Alright,” Jamie watches as he applies it, gaze flickering over his face, looking for a sign. There has to be one somewhere. Lying in plain sight, or buried behind it all. There has to be something.
Regulus pulls away, but barely, putting the lipgloss away, and tossing it across the bed, “I like it.”
“Do you?” Jamie asks.
Regulus hums, “You look beautiful,” after a beat he says, “You are beautiful.”
Jamie feels her chest sink, she’s not sure she’ll ever stand again, “Oh.”
With hesitation Regulus moves in, placing his hands back on her cheeks. “Jamie,” Regulus whispers.
Jamie bites back her smile, “Reg?”
Regulus takes a shallow breath, and the next moment he’s leaning in again, meeting her lips in the middle. It’s strange it shouldn’t feel as right as it does. It hasn’t been that long, and yet Jamie is hungry for more, reaching up as far as she can to take more. Regulus pushes her back down, setting her against the pillows to take more for himself. She lets him do whatever he wants, placing her hands on his waist instead. It tastes like cherries and the spring air and it’s just right. There’s no other way to put it, and no other hand to be dealt. Jamie never wants it to end, she wants to stay here forever, in a haze coated with orange air.
Then the door opens, and it’s not as hazy anymore, “Oh!”
Regulus practically falls from the bed, stumbling to his feet, “Andy!”
Jamie scrambles to sit up, to find Andy with her mouth agape standing in the doorway, “Hi Andy!”
“You’re—“ She stumbles, “You two are—“
“Reg was just showing me how to put make-up on!” Jamie says quickly.
Regulus looks back at her, with a pointed look, “Yeah that helps.”
Andy shakes her head, “Okay so…” she takes a breath setting herself back up, “You two aren’t allowed to be alone up here anymore.”
Jamie laughs, she really can’t help it, “Andy—“
“No,” Andy cuts her off, “There will be no children being born here, your mother would agree.”
“Andy!” Regulus’ face heats up, it’s probably the loudest Jamie has ever heard him.
Andy brushes him off, “Jamie your parents are looking for you.”
Jamie freezes, her veins running cold, “They’re downstairs?”
She shakes her head, “No, they just called. They both want you home.”
“Right,” Jamie mumbles, both of them. They both want her home. Her Dad is home. Monty is home. Monty is home and Jamie is wearing a dress. Monty is home and she’s wearing make-up for the very first time and she’s not ready to take it off. Monty is home so she has to. Monty is home. Why was she so fucking stupid? Why did she think she could actually have a good thing? Why did she agree to let Regulus take her out in the first place? She was perfectly okay wearing her old clothes and hanging out with her friends, she was fine. She was perfectly fine. Nothing needed to be fixed. She didn’t have to worry about anything. She didn’t have to do anything differently. She had her routine down. She wrote these clothes around Monty, and then everything else when he wasn’t around. She wasn’t supposed to put on make-up while he was around. That wasn’t in the plan. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
“Andy,” Regulus’ voice breaks through the fog, “We’ll meet you downstairs in ten minutes, I promise.”
She argues but Jamie can’t hear her. She’s going to have to walk home in a dress and make-up. Regulus can’t know. She can’t confirm it, no one can know. The cat can’t be let out of the bag. But if she walks home like this Monty will see her and she can’t do that. She can’t let Monty see her. Not like this. If they both want her home that means they probably want to do something. A movie maybe, it’s normally their tradition after town events like this. Jamie wouldn’t have a reason to change. Effie would love the make-up she’d question if she took it off so soon. And she can’t know. Effie can’t know. Monty can’t know either. He already knows, but he can’t know that Jamie knows. She doesn’t want to hurt him either.
“Jamie,” Regulus’ hands are on either side of her face again, they’re cold. “Listen to me.”
Jamie shakes her head, she can’t go home like this. She can’t go home like this. She can’t go home like this. She doesn’t want to take it off, she wants to wear it forever. This wasn’t a part of the plan.
“Do you want me to take it off?” Regulus asks gently, already moving around the bed for the wipes, “I can take it off.”
She feels a brokenness in the back of her throat, she can’t speak, and she doesn’t want to take it off. She doesn’t want to have to. She feels so pretty, for once she doesn’t mind the body she’s in, not while Regulus is touching it, but she can’t wear it home. She nods quickly.
“Okay, we can take it off,” Regulus says just as hurriedly, sliding up right next to her, “Close your eyes.”
When she does tears sprout from both of her cheeks, she feels red-hot embarrassment flood her chest but she can’t stop it. Regulus’ touch is a soothing one as he quickly rubs every trace of the makeup from her face. He’s whispering apologizes, but she doesn’t hear them. Her ears are ringing. Monty can’t see her like this.
“Okay,” Regulus whispers, “You can open them again.”
Jamie is slow to do so, but when she does Regulus is putting her glasses back on, and steadying her again, “Do you want to get changed too?”
Jamie nods slowly.
Regulus helps her to the bathroom door, placing her old clothes in her hands and he closes the door. She finds herself in the mirror, she couldn’t even see what she looked like with it on. She doesn’t even know. She just knows the feeling of it, so be remembered and held close to her chest. She turns around again, she can’t look at herself like this, so she slides the dress off, carefully folding it up by the sink before putting back on her clothes. They feel wrong against her skin, she steps back out before she can catch a glimpse of it.
Regulus is already standing outside the door, “Beautiful.”
Jamie doesn’t believe him, but she smiles warily anyway, “I should go.”
Regulus nods, “Do you want me to walk you home?”
Jaime shakes her head, “I’m okay.” She swallows thickly before saying, “Can you keep—“
He nods again, “Of course, yeah. I’ll leave it here, whenever you want it.”
“Thank you,” Jamie whispers, passing by him to reach for the door, he stops her before she can. “What—“
Regulus sighs, reaching up to place another kiss on her lips, it’s still the same, even without all the makeup. She still feels her chest falling back, “Call me.” It’s not a question.
Jamie nods anyway, “Okay.”
She slips through the door and straight through the diner without catching sight of anyone, trying to get down the street as fast as possible. She doesn’t want to be home, she doesn’t want to be anywhere really. She wants to go back to the apartment, but her parents are looking for her, there’s only so much she can delay without questions being asked. When she slips through the front door like she guessed her parents are in the living room, a movie already queued up. Effie taps the cushion between the two of them. Jamie feels sick to her stomach, she wishes she could’ve shown Effie before taking it all off. She’s sure she would’ve liked it. She sits down anyway, silently grabbing the Twizzlers from the coffee table. Monty doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t either. Effie plays the movie, and the world keeps spinning, somehow anyway.