Chapter 8
It had been almost three weeks since the party, which meant it had also been almost three weeks since Regulus and James had spoken to each other. Regulus was very good at avoiding things, that’s how he’s stayed alive in the family he was born into. Andromeda taught Sirius how to avoid her crazy sister, then Sirius passed that knowledge to Regulus, and Regulus kept it in his mind his entire life.
Avoiding James was an entirely different story, though. With Bellatrix, it was easy to slip away and wait for her to find something, or someone, else to push around and entertain herself with. James, though, was zeroed in on his goals, and Regulus knew that at the top of that goal list was his name, which made his goal of hiding from his brother’s best friend damn near impossible. He managed, though, because he had no other choice.
The first week had been easy, because he was able to hide away under the bleachers with Barty, Evan, Pandora, and, a brand new addition, Dorcas. Then, he had acted like he was sick with a stomach bug that Friday, fortunate that Sirius had taught him how to make fake vomit when they were in grade school. That weekend he hid at Barty’s.
The second week was a bit more difficult because some sort of information that James had learned had gotten him even more determined to have a conversation with Regulus than he was before. He practically chased him through the hall, which left Regulus to hide in random closets and classrooms until he was sure the coast was clear. It would’ve been embarrassing, but he didn’t have the time to care. That week, writing club was canceled because the English teacher was out with the flu, and Regulus almost felt bad for being thankful.
This week, the third, had been less difficult than last, but more difficult than the first. James had discovered where Regulus would sit during lunch, likely thanks to either Remus or Barty, which forced Regulus to relocate and spend his lunches alone in the corner of the library. He didn’t mind it as much as he thought he would and sometimes was able to sneak in a small nap or two. James hadn’t been able to find him and resorted to blowing up his phone all day, including in class, which got him in trouble more than a few times. How fucking annoying.
Today, Thursday, Regulus was sitting in his corner and enjoying the lunch he had packed for himself; a croissant, carrots, and a handful of raspberries. He carried around a steel cup of water with him, so he never felt the need to pack anything to drink.
As he finished, he marked the place in his book before putting it in his bag, then grabbed a hoodie from the depths of the same bag, crumpling it up to use as a pillow. It was the hoodie that he had stolen from James the morning after the party, and he had no intention of giving it back anytime soon. Despite the many washes it had gone through, it still had the smell of James’ cologne latched to it. The smell was a mix of vanilla and eucalyptus, the same scent that he’d been wearing since his early teenage years.
Regulus let himself sigh, tilting his head so that the side of his face was pressed against the soft fabric, then closed his eyes. Sleep came easily in the dark and quiet library, and Regulus was never one to deny the chance to take a nap, especially with all the running he’s had to do the past few weeks. It was like a nice, private break from it all.
“Comfortable?” A familiar voice caused Regulus to jump up, his eyes growing wide. Of course, as soon as Regulus thought it would all go well, it didn’t. “Oh, don’t let me steal you from your slumber, darling. Sleep up.”
“Go away, Sirius,” Regulus rolled laid his head to face the wall, not wanting to look at his brother. He heard a deep sigh, then the chair next to him being pulled out from under the table. Great.
“What are you doing, Reg?” Sirius’s voice sounded closer than before, and Regulus could only assume that he’d also laid his head down.
“Trying to catch up on some sleep, if you don’t mind,” Regulus retorted, practically spitting his words out. He didn’t want to be bothered right now, especially not by Sirius.
“You know that’s not what I mean,” Sirius says, and Regulus feels a few pokes on his arm. It’s silent for a few moments, then, “Why are you avoiding him?”
“You know why, Sirius,” Regulus turns his head, wanting Sirius to see how genuine he was being. “You know how I feel, and you know he was just drunk, and you know how this will all end.”
Sirius just sighs again, moving his hand away from Regulus’ arm and giving him a sad smile. “I think you should give him a chance to talk before you assume things like that.”
“You flipped out when you saw us in the kitchen, so why the fuck are you trying to give me a pep talk right now?” Regulus scoffs, his fingers starting to fidget with the cuffed sleeve of the hoodie. Sirius’ eyes seem to soften at that, and a look of regret washes over his face. Regulus doesn’t have time for this.
“Because you’re my baby brother, and he’s my best friend, and no matter how fucked that is, I still want both of you to be happy,” Sirius’ voice is as soft as eyes, and it makes Regulus want to throw up and cry. There’s no way there’s no ulterior motive behind this.
“You’re freaking me out,” Regulus grimaces slightly when Sirius just laughs.
“Listen, I’m dating your best friend, and it’s going so fucking well,” Sirius’ smile grows and Regulus feels it a little bit. The smallest bit of warmth in his core provided by his brother’s happiness. A happiness that they had both previously thought was impossible. “You and I have to get along again, whether you like it or not. James is miserable, you’re miserable, I want to fix it.”
“I’m not miserable,” Regulus grumbles, deciding that he would rather just stuff his face into his makeshift pillow.
“Right, and who’s hoodie might that be?” Sirius tugs at the hood and Regulus just scoffs, not moving his head. “Exactly.”
“Can you just leave me alone? I’m tired,” Regulus can feel Sirius move the curls that block the small, black star behind his ear. Then, he feels his brother swipe a finger over it, wincing a bit since it still stung a little.
“You know,” Sirius continues to brush the spot gently, “this would be a really cool matching tattoo. Like, you and me with little black stars, because we are black stars.”
“I just let Barty put whatever he wanted,” Regulus shrugs, tilting his head to face Sirius again. “I didn’t think much about symbolism.”
“That’s odd, considering you overthink everything,” Sirius’ eyebrows furrow the slightest bit. “Did it hurt?”
“Well, I was high off my ass, so probably, but I didn’t feel it much,” Regulus smiles a little as Sirius barks out a laugh. This felt familiar, just the two of them sitting and laughing and talking like nothing had ever happened. It was the first time in awhile Regulus had felt this comfortable around hsi brother. “The one on my hip hurt like a bitch, though.”
“I can only imagine,” Sirius lets out a soft sigh. “You think Barty would do one for me?”
“Pay him, and sure,” Regulus was still feeling rather drowsy, so his mouth was speaking the way his brain was processing; slowly and a bit slurred.
“Did you have to pay him?” Sirius tilts his head a little and brings a hand up to move a few curls from Regulus’ face, the way he used to when they were little kids. Regulus closes his eyes at the this, and between the smell of James and the soft feeling of fingers running through his hair, he knew he wouldn’t last long. He just shook his head in response, not being able to say much else. “Take a nap, Reg. I’ll wake you up when it’s time to go.”
That’s the last thing Regulus hears before he allows himself to drift off.
***
“Hey, have you seen Reg?” Barty walks up to Remus and James, who are sitting on a bench in front of the school. The school day was over, and they were both waiting for Sirius to walk out of the doors.
“No, but Sirius went to talk to him at lunch, and I haven’t seen him since,” Remus furrows his brows. “He usually skips classes, though, so I didn’t think much of it.”
“Reg skips classes sometimes, too, though,” James adds in, remembering what Regulus had told him in writing club a few weeks ago. “You don’t think they fought or anything, do you?”
“I don’t know. Do you guys know where he was headed?” Barty asks, Evan walking up beside him and grabbing intertwining their fingers. James’ heart ached a little.
“Not really, he just said Reg would likely be hiding somewhere dark and quiet, then got up and left,” Remus sighed, standing from the bench, motioning for James to do the same. “I’ll check classrooms, Barty and Evan check the basement, James you check anywhere else.”
“Okay,” James nodded, then he was off. He walked quickly through the halls, earning confused looks from teachers and students alike, but he didn’t care. Where the fuck was his best friend? Where was Regulus?
James’ brain had been glued to the younger Black brother for weeks now, just wanting to hear him talk at the very least. It would’ve sent him into a spiral had he not had responsibilities pertaining to the streets of London. Even on patrols, James hoped to see Regulus at the small coffee shop deep into downtown London. He had even thought about stopping by his house a few times, but deemed it too dangerous because Walburga Black was a terrifying woman.
Despite his greatest efforts, Regulus always seemed to escape him, even when he was right on his heels. He was almost convinced that Regulus could melt into shadows at will, because that would be the only possible explanation on how he kept making his great escapes. James didn’t even want to talk about the party anymore. Well, he did, but he would also talk about anything else just to get Regulus to acknowledge his existence.
He had tried talking to Remus, asking about how Regulus was doing, but Regulus wasn’t talking to him much at the moment, so it seemed impossible. Barty claimed he was sworn to secrecy, then would point to the small heart tattoo on his forearm. It was beyond aggravating because it wasn’t like he was asking for his deepest secrets. He just wanted to talk to him.
As James pushes the doors to the library open, he feels a body slam against him, causing both of them to fall to the ground. James quickly recovers and is about to apologize to the person sitting in front of him, but stops himself upon laying eyes on him. Looking up at him is a scowling face surrounded by shoulder-length, greasy hair. Just his luck.
“Potter, what do you need to do in the library? As far as I’m aware, you can’t even read,” Snape’s voice is deep and nasally and the sound of it makes James clench his fist in anger. It’s not unknown that Severus is one of the biggest snobs in the school, always standing and watching when the less fortunate kids get bullied for their income.
“Could ask you the same, Snivelus. Playing with your junior chemist set?” James crosses his arms and puffs his chest a little. Severus just scoffs and rolls his eyes.
“How dare some of us want to study for a test? You would know nothing about that, would you, Potter?” Severus smiles condescendingly.
“You’re right, I don’t study,” James nods, and Snape’s eyebrows furrow a bit in a confused glare. “Yet, I still get higher scores than you. Funny, that.”
“You say that as if Black isn’t sleeping with Lupin for test answers,” Severus scoffs. “There would be no other reason for either of them to be interested in each other. I mean, one’s a disgrace, and the other’s just plain unattractive. Seeing them canoodle in every hallway of this school makes me sick to my stomach for multiple reasons.”
James clenches his jaw so hard it hurts because he’s really not interested in getting suspended from school within the first two months, but he’s also not below it. He doesn’t mind getting insulted, but hearing his friends getting insulted truly makes his blood boil. Sirius who had been through so much that the public didn’t even know about, and Remus who, very publicly, lost his mother only a few years ago. Severus has no room to talk about them like that.
“Doesn’t shock me that Lupin’s so willing to sell himself out like that. He probably understands that he’ll never actually experience a relationship with that ugly scar across his face. I don’t know how Black can even stand to look at him–”
Crack.
A small thud echoes through the quiet room as Severus falls to the ground, holding his nose and letting out a cry of pain. James stands above him, wide-eyed, his jaw slacking the slightest bit as he looks around. Had he punched him without realizing it? Was he that quick to lose his temper?
Upon further inspection, the answer to both of his questions was no. Instead, Regulus stands next to where Snape was standing, chest heaving and eyes cold as ice. Sirius stands behind him, his eyes wide as saucers, admiration and pride flashing in them. Regulus did that, and James would be lying if he said it wasn’t the hottest thing he had ever seen,
“Keep your mouth shut about Remus, Snape. Everyone knows about your current situation, so I’d stop talking shit about people who don’t care about what you think, anyway,” Regulus’ voice is cold, sounding a bit guarded. He’s putting on a show, and James is more than willing to watch.
Snape pushes himself to his feet, blood dripping blood form where head been holding his incredibly bloodied nose. Regulus was, apparently, strong as fuck, because he hadn’t so much as flinched from any sort of pain in his fist. James didn’t know what to do with this information.
“I’d watch it, Baby Black. I can make your life miserable quicker than you can say your own name,” Severus spat, a few strands hanging in front of his face.
“A bit odd to threaten someone who did that to your face, don’t you think, Sniv?” Sirius jumps in, but Regulus puts an arm in front of him to keep him back. “Reg?”
“I can fight my own fights, Sirius,” Regulus kept his eyes on Severus, and James could tell his words had no ill intent. What had happened? “If you’re going to hit back, Severus, then do it. I’ve already hit first, so I’ll likely be the one to get into the most amount of trouble. I’m not afraid to hurt you a little bit.”
“Listen here, you little brat–”
“No, you listen,” Regulus took a step closer. “Keep your mouth shut about my friend and my brother. It sounds an awful lot like you’re projecting your pathetic sob story of a life, so just stop fucking talking.”
Severus huffs, his hands shaking a little with what James can only assume to be anger. In a low voice, he says, “You’ll regret this, you prick.” Then, he marches out of the library, leaving James with the two Black brothers.
It’s quiet for a few moments, Regulus looking down at his fist with his brows pinched together as if it had wronged him. James is too stunned to say anything, eyes glancing back and forthe between Regulus’ face and Regulus’ hand. Then, he takes a step forward and reaches his hand, offering to check if it’s injured.
Regulus rolls his eyes, but places his hand in James’ anyway, and all James can do is smile as he feels a jolt of energy flow through him. He moves Regulus’ hand side to side, looking for any sign of actual injury to the fist, which appears to be none. Thanks the Gods, because, had Regulus injured this hand, he wouldn’t be able to write.
“It’s all good,” James smiles softly, making eye contact with Regulus as he brings his knuckles to his lips, a soft smile tugging at his lips as he watches the boy blush.
“In front of me?!” Sirius exclaims, throwing his arms in the air. “I’m off to go snog Moony, and it will be right in front of your face, Regulus.”
“Nothing unusual, then?” Regulus cocks an eyebrow, and Sirius just huffs out an exaggerated sigh. Then, it’s silent again, and James hates how awkward it is.
“So, are you actually worried about Snape’s threat?” James asks, trying his best to not stare at Regulus’ hand, which still lies in his own. He’s worried that if he brings attention to it, Regulus will pull away.
“Not really, no,” Regulus sighs, staring at his feet. “He makes a lot of threats but never goes through with them. All bark, no bite, some may say.”
“He’s threatened you before?” Sirius asks, his shoulders visibly tensing up.
“No, but I’ve seen him threaten Barty and Evan before. When they first got together and all that,” Regulus shrugs, looking up at James. “He never actually told their fathers, but the risk was there, so they dwelled on it and almost split. Turns out, that’s all Snape wanted.”
“What a twat,” James can feel himself growing angry again.
“Yeah, well, I’ve got to go find Remus,” Regulus moves his hand back to his side. “I have to get home, because me being late will only add to the fit mother’s about to throw.”
“Do you think Snape will go to McGonagall?” Sirius asks, his eyebrows furrowing in deep concern. “Do you think she’d call Walburga?”
“I don’t know,” Regulus sighs, running a hand through his hair. “I’ll text you if it goes well, but I likely won’t be able to otherwise.”
“Reg, why don’t you–”
“No,” Regulus shakes his head. “You know I can’t.”
Sirius sighs, but nods his head, anyway. James can easily put together what he meant and his heart breaks a little. With that, Regulus walks out of the library, leaving a deflated Sirius who James can only try his best to comfort.