R.A.B
The little village where James lived was the same, since he was a kid. There were the same people, the same cafes, the same friendly faces of his friends.
But he was ok with it. He liked to live in a place where everyone knew each other and everything about them. He could find comfort in that situation.
Since the childhood he always lived in the same house. The same house that had seen him grow up; the one that had wiped away his tears. He loved it, as much as he loved all the experiences that he had in it, like the first party or his first kiss.
“Hurry up Prongs.” Yelled Sirius from downstairs. James looked for the last time at his image in the mirror. The black jacket that he was wearing was one of his dad’s old one. He let him pick some, since they weren’t used in years. Apparently it was the one that Monty wore when he met Effy for the first time.
When James was just a little boy he loved to hear that story. For him it was magical. At that age he dreamed about his future wife so much. He decided her hair colour, her hobbies and even where they’d go after their marriage.
The years continued to pass, but he was still alone, with nobody to hold. At first it thought it was too much early. Then all his friends started to date each other and in some months he became the third wheel in every relationship. Especially in that period he was seeing his friends rarely, once or twice a month, except for Sirius. Since they were 14, he always stayed with the Potter’s.
At first it was just in the weekends, on holidays, but then it turned out in something bigger and he had to remain with them. If he went back home, he wouldn’t survive long. And now they were 21, trying to figuring out how the world worked. But for Sirius it wasn’t a big deal. He used to know how it worked since a child.
James touched his reflection and he hated it. Because he didn’t saw the guy that he wanted to, the happy and athletic one, but just an ordinary James. He touched his glasses and for the first time in his life he hated how they looked on him. He took the off and put them on his desk. He couldn’t see barely anything, but he didn’t care anyway. He ran an hand through his hair, but they didn’t looked cool, just messy and shitty.
He started to breathe heavily. He put two hands on the edge of his wardrobe, trying not to fall. He hated that moments, when everything he wanted to do was to disappear, not forever, just for some hours. Even being invisible would been great for him.
“What are you doing James? Remus and the others are waiting for us, they’re already here.” He heard again Sirius’ voice from the kitchen.
“I-I’m coming.” He said with the most normal voice that he could do in that moment. He close his eyes, breathing again. He checked for the last time the mirror, trying to figure out if he looked like everyday, fine and happy.
Then he opened the door. In the hallway he was stopped by Effy.
“You look hermosa mi niño.” She looked at him, with a proud smile. “Have fun and don’t drink much. And don’t let Sirius drink more than two shots. Do you remember last Christmas?”
The two laughed. Then James turned, but Effy stopped him.
“That is your father’s jacket, right?”
James nodded. Then he reached Sirius.
When they got outside, two cars were already in front of the Potter’s porch. Remus honked while the two of them were getting on his car. James sat next to Remus, on the front seats.
“What the fuck have you did inside that house. We are here since 8:30!” James searched for a clock somewhere in the car while Remus continued yelling a them. Sirius just laughed like he did in situations like that one. But for some reasons James felt guilty. Guilty about a stupid thing.
“I’m sorry.” He whispered, watching how the city was slowly sliding under his eyes.
“Well James, you don’t have to be sorry.” Peter talked. “It’s not like it’s your fault, right Moony.” He stared at Remus severely. “You know how weird he can get sometimes. I think he just had a bad day or som-.”
“Yeah, thank Pete, but I think he understood what you wanted to say.” Remus interrupted him. “I’m sorry for let you feel guilty James, blah, blah.”
But James didn’t care much about that conversation. It was one of the kind he had in elementary school, when his close friends were other people. He often played with Severus Piton, but the bond that they create during that years didn’t least much. They had an hate-love relationship, it depended on the humor of Severus. If he was happy, then I would play with James like the their classmates did. But if Severus was having a bad day, then he was going to turn even James’ in a shitty.
Then in 6th grade in their class arrived a new classmate, Mulciber. Since the first moment he saw him, James didn’t like him much. He was scary, with those short black hair and the eyes that seemed like the serpent’s one. That was the year when everything started. Mulciber and Severus started to make fun of James, first because of his glasses, then of his appearance or his nationality.
“But, mi niño, tu eres muy hermoso. They are only idiotas. Let them think what they want, but you have to trust your mamá, you are the prettiest boy I’ve ever seen.” Effy consoled him during the afternoons that he spent crying. He skipped so many day of school that year, just because he didn’t want to see Severus and Mulciber.
“But I hate my glasses. I feel an idiot with them. Why do I need them?” Tears streamed down James’ face. “And I hate to be Spanish. Everyone calls me with weird nicknames and I hate it.”
“Have you tried to tell them?”
James shook his head, sniffling. Meanwhile Effy was touching his curly hair and telling him how loved he was.
Then, around the start of 7th year they heard about a kid, who grandma lived next to the Potter’s, that was going to move with her. His name was Peter. He and James were in the same classes during middle school. Then their duo became a trio with Remus Lupin, a kid from a local orphanage; then a real group with Sirius Black, the famous heir of the Black’s family. And later they were seven, four boys and three girls, Lily Evans, Marlene Mckinnon and Mary Macdonald.
They all have found a place in the world or maybe they created a new one where they could live happily ever after. Or so it thought young James.
“So James, what do you think?” Asked Sirius.
He murmured.
“Are you with us James? What are you thinking about?” Intervened Peter. James turned his head toward the backseats.
“Ehm- sorry guys.”
“No more sorry James, you can’t feel guilty and say sorry everytime.” Remus turned left. “Anyway, we were talking about something really stupid so, it doesn’t matter.”
The boys stayed quiet, until they arrived at destination. The bar where Marlene took them was quite decadent. There were groups of people outside with glasses full of beer and other weird drinks. James wrinkled his nose only for the scent of the alcohol.
When they got out of Remus’ car, they could hear the noisy of that place. Many people were yelling and talking really loud about a fight that two barmen were having. James tried to not think about it. It was the first time in a month that he actually went out with his friends.
“Are you ready to party?” Asked loudly Marlene, from behind them. She was holding Dorcas’ hand. They were doing it every time they had the chance, but James wasn’t annoyed by them. He found them a really good couple and since he was friend with both of the two girls, he could’ve been more supportive.
“Marlene, what did I said? You shouldn’t drink before a night out.” Snorted Dorcas, pretending to be angry. Marlene looked up at her, catching her partner’s disapproval glance.
“I’m sorry love, but you know.”
Dorcas shut her up by kissing her. James noticed that he was the only one who was watching that scene. All of his friends were already inside the building. He simply followed them with his hands in his jeans’ pockets.
In the meantime Marlene whispered something in Dorcas’ ear. Her voice was too low that he couldn’t what she was saying. He just stood where he was, in front of the bar, looking like an idiot.
“Hey Jamie.” Marlene messed up his hair. James laughed gently, covering his smile with his hand. He never liked it or maybe he thought that the others didn’t. His mother always said that he had his father’s smile, the same that made her fall in love, but for James it wasn’t true.
“What’s up Marls!”
“So, I know that this may look weird, but I have something to say.” She looked at her shoes, a simple pair of Doctor Martins, the same that Sirius got to her for her 20th birthday. Marlene took a deep breath and then she started talking.
“So you knew Sirius for so many years, right?” James nodded. “Anyway, yesterday he asked me a favour. Do you know his little brother?”
“The one that was involved into that accident last year?” Asked the boy.
“Yes, him. Her cousin, Narcissa, let him know that his parents are trying to find someone who could help him with his problem. He asked me if I knew someone and you’re the first person that it came to my mind. So, what do you think?”
“I-I don’t know, should I talk to Sirius first? And his parents would never let me in their house. They hate me and my family.”
“You’re right, but as I know they’re really desperate. Regulus fired five people in only a month, so if you’re able to have Regulus’ support, his parents can’t do anything and they would do anything to the heir of a their fortune. Because since Sirius has been disinherited, he is the next.”
“What do you think should I do?” James was playing with his lucky ring, the one with a big sun on it. Lily bought it for him after she had seen it on a stand in the local market of the city. She always said that it reminded her of James, so she bought it.
“First, you should talk to Sirius, then you can decide, since he is your best friend and all of this is about his family.”
James nodded as they walked into the bar. Inside it was even more noisy and the smell of alcohol made him sick. The music was way too loud, as the sound of the people’s voice. He could hear from the entrance the waiters yelling at each other orders. It wasn’t the kind of place for him, but only for one night he decided to pretend it was.
Marlene dragged him by his hand to the table where their friends were chatting.
“Hey Andy, a round of vodka for all of us, it’s on me.” Yelled the blondie to a redhead behind the counter.
“Why do you that barman?” Asked Dorcas to the girl that was taking a seat next to her.
“I think you shouldn’t ask a question if you already know the answer.” Replied Remus.
“Oh, shut the fuck up.” Marlene raised her middle finger to the guy.
“Oh, Moony the poet. Can you compose something just for me, the love of your life?” Sirius mocked him. Remus shut him up, first with and hand, then with a kiss.
“Ew, that’s so rude.” Yelled Mary. She covered Peter’s eye with an hand. “There are kids.” She pointed to James and Peter.
“I’m not a kid. I may look like one, but I’m not.” Justified himself, taking away the girl’s hand from his mouth.
“Why do I look like the only people between us with a superior intelligence?” Lily spoke. “Actually we are in two, me and Cas.” They smiled at each other.
But before someone could say anything the vodka arrived. Everyone took a glass, everyone unless James. He let it on the wooden table. He looked at the transparent liquid that all of his friends could easily drink. However he couldn’t. It wasn’t just the smell or the taste. He was just scared of what it could make him look. He was just scared.
“I’m sorry guys, but I need fresh air. I’m going outside for a moment.” While he walked past all the groups in the bar, holding his jacket. The same jacket that years and years ago had made his mother fall in love with its owner. And maybe he wore it that night because he was convinced that it would make him know his soulmate. Sometimes he didn’t realise that he still lived in his inner child’s fantasies.
Outside the air was cold, but at least his jacket warmed him up. He looked at the moon and then at the stars. He loved the astronomy since he was a little boy. Sometimes, during spring break, his mom would let him stay up a little mire later than his usual. He usually spent that time on the balcony of his room watching all the constellations.
Then his blurry eyes followed a little black cat on the other side of the sidewalk. It was tiny and it seemed very young. It was walking next to a little square, right in front of James. He crossed the road, not caring about any cars or motorcycles. The cat was in the dark of a big tree right in the centre of the tiny place. Around of it there were many flowers, that in the darkness were in black and white, just like the old movies. There were also two benches.
On one of them there was a boy. He looked really young. In that moment James wanted just a little bit of peace, so he sat on the empty one. The cat followed him and laid down, so close to James’ lap. The boy started to pet it. It was a stray cat, that was sure. What would his mother do in that situation? He thought about taking him home, but then he regretted the idea.
“What a strange kind of people stay alone in a dark place like this.” Whispered the stranger. The sound of his voice was pure and delicate. James’ heart started to beat too fast.
“Well, we do. I don’t know who you are, but you can’t be a normal people and be here at this time with a stray cat as his only friend.” Continued the unknown boy. “And since we are both alone and bored, do you want to sit next to me. I would like to be near you instead of the cat. But I can’t for some- well reasons.”
James agreed with him and approached the boy. The moon illuminated half of his face. A pale a little boy. He should’ve been a year o maybe two younger than James. Soft lips. Two deep eyes where the boy could’ve easily deep into, like a two bottomless lakes. If he could’ve had a last wish before his death he would’ve said to touch the green of that boy’s eyes.
“So what’s your name?” Asked James politely.
“Well, you can call me R.A.B.” A smile appeared one James’ face. What an unusual nickname was that? And why he didn’t told him his real name?
“So, why are you here, at this time? Isn’t it a little bit late for a little lover boy like you?” James wrapped his hair around his fingers, while R.A.B continued talking. “Like, I know that you could ask me the same questions, but it’s too obvious. You’re dressed too well to live near here. Am I right lover boy?”
“First, I’m not a lover boy. Second, even if you were, I wouldn’t tell you that. And third, you don’t talk like all the men in this fucking place!” Yelled back James. He wasn’t never angry, but in that specific moment, with R.A.B, he felt his anger everywhere.
“Calm down lover boy, this is too anger for an angelic soul like yours. I didn’t thought you could be that mean to me. You hurt my feelings.”
“You’re right this with everybody.” James asked. “Now I see why you spend your Saturday’s night alone in a park, talking to strangers.” Whispered.
“Not with everyone, just with the right one, it’s different. You must be lucky, you’re part of the chosen ones.” R.A.B touched James’ shoulder and the boy slightly blushed. The other one noticed it, but didn’t say anything.
“So, you haven’t responded to my question, why are you here?” Said again James.
“I’m not sure, but when I’m here I feel to belonging somewhere, and I like this feeling. Maybe I do, I do belong here, with the nature, and the darkness and the stars. Did you know that there’s an ancient legend that says that when we die we all create a new star, because in part we’re made of stardust. Isn’t it beautiful? I always wanted to be a star as a kid, but every time I searched in the books there already was another one with my name. Well I’m not the only one named after a star, all my family members are. You can say that they are a little bit obsessed by the astronomy.”
James thought deeply. A star name that started with R. He wasn’t a big fan of the stars, he preferred since he was a child the morning sky, with the clouds and the big sun. But he surely read somewhere about stars. Also Sirius was named after one. He once searched where his star was, and he discovered that it was part of the black dog constellation. Sirius’ little brother, Regulus, was named after one too.
The boy looked at R.A.B. In him he saw Sirius’ features.
“Oh, can you help me with that one?” Asked Regulus. He pointed at one wheelchair that for some reasons James didn’t saw.
That night he met Regulus Black. He met a star, but he still didn’t know it.