Cigarettes and long sleeves
That morning Remus woke up with a painful headache. It was nothing new, especially after a long shift or a night like the one that he had with his friends the day before. In fact the boy couldn’t remember much of what it happened in that bar. He just knew that he had an argument with Sirius, one of the kind they always had. Even that was nothing new. He remembered the boy’s black hair disappear from that place, followed by some curly hair.
Then he had a few drinks, maybe a little bit more than a few. He sat near the counter for the rest of the night, until all the people were gone and he remained almost alone.
He opened one eye. The room was dark and the sheets too cozy to get up. Remus smelled the scent of Sirius’ pillow. ‘Leather and cigarettes.’ He thought. At that point of their relationship, they knew each other like the back of their hands. But the scent wasn’t his boyfriend’s. It smelled like hot tea and greenhouse.
Remus’ eyes widened. He got up, searching for his clothes that were all over the room. Also regretting things that he did when he was angry were nothing new for him.
But he wanted to change, for himself and for Sirius, he owned him that.
Anger changed Remus’ personality so much. It was like a virus that infected all his body. He didn’t always remember all the things that he used to say during his moments. He just got up the next day, feeling guilty about something that he couldn’t even recall. Sirius was scared of his periods, especially when all of his Remus’ anger was addressed to him.
The door opened and a figure looked at Remus. Dark blonde hair and a big smile were all the things the could see.
“How are you, sleepy one?” The boy asked. Remus put on his trousers.
“Uhm- I’m sorry, but who are you?” Asked after he was fully dressed. Even if he tried to remember, he couldn’t think about anything.
“So- we were the last one in the bar. You were getting closer, we drank a bit and then- well you know.” He scratched his head, blushing.
“Right, about that. I don’t know how to say it to you- but I have a boyfriend. It was just I mistake.” Remus stood in the middle of the room. “We had a fight and I was drunk- so you know, it was only a one night thing.” He checked his clock. “And now I’m late for work, I have to hurry.”
He moved, but the boy stopped him. “I knew it was just a mistake, but I wanted you to know that it was the best night of my life- thank you. And if I will see again, I own you a favour.” Remus hoped not, but he didn’t want to hurt the boy’s feeling, so he shut up.
And before anyone could say something, Remus was out of that apartment. He didn’t ask for the boy’s name or his favourite colour.
Inside of the house Grant was quietly crying, like he used to when he was a little child. He wasn’t allowed to do it, so he learned how to be quite. He sobbed for hours, just for a stranger that he wouldn’t meet anymore. But when he saw him the night before, his heart barely stopped, that’s what Grant felt.
But Remus was just an illusion. Maybe he wasn’t really there two hours ago, he was just an invention of the boy’s brain. So, if he wasn’t real, why did he could smell the cigarettes that he smoked on his balcony, while Grant was looking at his delightful face.
“Really James, working for my family.” Sirius yelled at him. James’ stomach hurt so bad for all the guilt that he felt in that moment. “They are fucking insane James- and abusive.” For the first time in years, the boy showed his friend all the scars that his long sleeves covered.
They were so different, but thankfully all old. Around them there were little stars that Remus used to draw, just to make his boyfriend feel better about them. When Sirius first arrived at the Potter’s, he was afraid of opening his heart to them. But then, step by step, he became familiar with the place and the people who lived there.
“If you forgot, they did this to me. Are you fucking insane James?”
The boy tried to reply, but before he could, Sirius was gone. He slammed the door. “I’m going to Remus’ if you want to know.” It was the last thing that he understood.
Then the world went black and white. His head hurt so bad, the room started to spin around. His heart started beating too fast. He closed his eyes.
Euphemia found him on the floor of his room, with the hands in his hair. He was crying and shaking.