Words of Wisdom
Lily gives herself a second to think about it. But the moment she locks eyes with James again she mentally chastises herself for even considering gaining James’ help would be a bad idea. She looked at the sincerity in his expression, the sparkle of joy in his eyes from witnessing his friends’ chance at love.
It was one of the things Lily had always appreciated about James. He had his over-confident, sometimes even arrogant personality, but he cared in a way that was so rare. Whenever anyone was struggling he would make it his personal mission to remedy it, whether through words or actions, he would do it. And more than that he would do it without complaint, as though he wasn’t doing these things as favours to his friends but rather his friends were doing him a favour simply by being happy.
“Yeah, lets team up” she nodded with conviction and James’ response made her heart stutter involuntarily. She couldn’t be blamed because how could anyone see the elation radiating through his beaming smile and enchanting eyes and not feel overcome.
He reached up grabbing both her hands shaking them and squealing “this is going to be amazing, we are going to help them get together and they’re going to live happily ever after and it will just be brilliant.” Lily rolled her eyes at James’ romanticised declarations but couldn’t help his optimism permeating her much more cautious mind, he just added an extra layer of vibrance to everything. She stopped and stared at him for a moment, letting his vibrancy wash over her as she subconsciously mirrored his bright smile.
“Who are we spying on?” Lily and James both let out a yelp before turning to shush each other at Marlene’s sudden appearance, where she had joined them crouching on the floor but neither of them had noticed.
“Nothing, I mean reading, I mean dusting the shelves, I mean- I have to go” and wow Lily made a mental note to never get herself in a situation where her life depended on James lying. He stands up abruptly nearly knocking over the pile of books again, but luckily Lily had the foresight to reach out and steady them. Amidst his tornado-fuelled exit he paused to throw an exaggerated wink in Lily’s direction, it was absolutely ridiculous… and Lily certainly didn’t feel her cheeks heat in response.
“Lils?” Marlene turns to her eyebrow raised because clearly no one was going to buy James’ little display there.
“I was helping him look for a book” Marlene still didn’t look completely convinced so Lily quickly pushed on standing as she stated “now if you’ll excuse me I have a plan to enact.”
“Merlin no, you’re left alone with Potter for two seconds and he’s already infiltrated you as a fellow schemer” Marlene sighs but leaves Lily to exit the library.
*
Lily shocked herself at how much she was enjoying the whole arrangement. She had always frowned upon the marauder’s antics, but she was becoming increasingly invested in the scheming and it bought her a fun little thrill to put her skills to use for something that wasn’t academics. Lily put her all into school both because she enjoyed it, but also because she was so determined to prove herself. It had worked out well for her overall as it had got her opportunities she wouldn’t have had access to otherwise.
However, if she is being honest she must admit that she sometimes lets it get the better of her. The desire of academic validation swallowing her whole until her mind loops in a brutal beating of hurtling stone after stone of failure and disappointment.
By using her skills for something different, something that involves the happiness of her friends, it acts as an anchor to remind her that there are other beautiful things in life she gets to enjoy. Her world does not start and end with her grades.
She also begrudgingly admits that her new camaraderie with James is doing her some good too. She has even found herself bewildered as to her prior views of the boy, wondering how she lived so long without knowing the luminosity of James. She has found herself looking forward to catching his eye across a room because he will always create a new gesture that supposedly alludes to their scheming.
Maybe she should be worried that this could give them away, but James’ gestures are always so random Lily herself can barely decode them let alone someone who didn’t have the additional context. Only yesterday at dinner she was sitting opposite him when he started doing a bizarre movement where he linked his pinkies together then started swinging his arms so vigorously he narrowly avoided elbowing Sirius and Mary in the face which earned him a wack in the arm from both.
Upon seeing Lily’s puzzled expression he encouraged her to lean in and whispered “that was a demonstration of them walking hand in hand into the sunset” to which Lily’s chortle of laughter caused her to start choking on her drink. The others looked on startled as James leaned over to pat her on the back but unable to hold his laughter in as he did so.
*
Their first task was to try and plant certain seeds of encouragement in their friends’ heads without being too obvious (she was going to have to coach James in the art of not being obvious she had concluded).
Lily decided the best time to broach the subject with Remus would be during their prefect rounds, it decreased the likeliness of him running away and he always seemed to enjoy their walks, taking on an air of calm he usually struggled with.
“No one taken your interest lately Remus?” Lily tried to ask as casually as possible.
“Nah why, you interested?” Remus teased waggling his eyebrows at her.
She shoved him laughing “always” with a wink.
“But how comes, you normally enjoy being in a relationship.”
Remus sighed suddenly becoming more serious “It’s exactly that, I enjoy being in a relationship but not really being with the actual person. I kept forcing these relationships because I wanted that connection but they just didn’t feel right you know and it wasn’t fair to me but especially the other person so I think its best I work on” he paused as though considering his words with a degree of caution “… my own feelings before I can get in a relationship again.”
It’s at times like these that Lily has to stop herself from bursting everything out in an effort to get Remus to realise he could be happy if he just allowed himself to be, if he dared to hope. Remus is not the best at conveying his feelings, but Lily has known him and loved him for long enough now that she can dissect his words and capture the meanings.
He feels he needs to work on his own feelings for Sirius because he is looking for him in every relationship he is in, deeply desiring that uniquely transcendental feeling he has found with him. And Remus is right, it’s not fair on these poor souls who of course cannot live up to this standard because they can only be them just as Sirius can only be him, equally it is torturous to Remus to keep putting himself through this painful loop where he yearns but restricts himself simultaneously.
Lily would be in full support of this new approach if it weren’t for the fact he could have this happiness he craves because it is evident that his affections for Sirius are returned. Lily decides she has to use Remus’ own tactic against him where she doesn’t really say what she means but hopes the message shines through regardless.
“Maybe you are just looking in the wrong places” she gently suggests. Remus looks at her quizzically. “I just think maybe where you are going wrong is that you are building these connections with the sole purpose of a relationship in mind, whereas I think the foundation of a good relationship is always built on friendship first.” Lily worries she has overstepped again as it seems rather obvious she has just suggested he look for romance in his friends, which is clearly hinting at a certain friend in particular.
She is practically holding her breath as she awaits Remus’ reaction. At first it seems that she has miscalculated as she takes in Remus’ look of anguish as her words settle in, but then he turns to look at her and his expression changes. For a moment he seems to assess her, taking in her nervous look and anticipatory stance. Lily can’t quite work out what exactly Remus has seen in her face but it’s as though a light has been turned on and the anguish melts from his face replaced with a wicked glint in his eye and a soft smile.
“So you’ve found that building a friendship first leads to a more successful romance?” Lily can’t quite help the feeling that somehow she’s made a misstep here as the tables have suddenly turned and she is the one being questioned. She also can’t really agree with the phrasing of Remus’ question as it implies she personally has found romance from friendship. But when she looks back up at Remus and takes in the positivity of his expression, the immense relief at this being the most openness she has ever got out of him in this topic leads the words to tumble from her mouth of their own accord.
“Yes certainly” Remus simply makes a satisfied hum in response that soft smile growing wider and Lily decides she deserves a pat on the back for the progress she has undoubtedly made in their scheme with this conversation.
*
Sirius is slightly more open with his emotions than what Remus is, and after the success of her conversation with Remus she approaches Sirius with a renewed vigour and heightened sense of hope that she is that much closer to getting her friends their happily ever after. She sits down next Sirius on one of the common room sofas, to which Sirius looks up a grin spreading wide on his face as he starts talking before Lily even has a chance to.
“Ah my lovely Lily just who I wanted to see.” A bit of a strange way of greeting but Lily supposed Sirius is always rather dramatic in all that he does. She doesn’t get a chance to respond before he continues on. “Say have you seen Prongs around, you’ve been spending so much time with him lately I assumed you would know.”
Lily startled suddenly, surely Sirius hasn’t found out their plans already. Unless… she swears if James has somehow slipped up to Sirius already she will not hesitate to use the new hex she learnt that makes you have a bad hair day for a week straight. Well… maybe not that one actually, she quite likes James’ hair, it’s the perfect reflection of him as a person wild and fun, it looks so soft upon closer inspection she’s realised since spending more time with James and she has often had to hold herself back from the urge to reach out and touch it.
Anyways back to the matter at hand, she scans over Sirius’ face trying to decide if she thinks he knows or not. But then another thought strikes Lily as she goes over Sirius’ words ‘you’ve been spending so much time with him lately.’
Ohh, Sirius is jealous. During one of her and Sirius’ estranged sibling bonding sessions, Sirius abashedly confessed that he had certain insecurities about his friends growing tired or annoyed of him over time, especially James who he views as a brother. Her heart broke a little for her friend in the moment, who always seemed so confident yet internally held the belief his love was on a timer that was steadily running out. Given the circumstances of Sirius and Regulus she completely understood this worry and jealousy as she could draw from her own feelings with Petunia, so she rushes to reassure Sirius.
“No, no we really haven’t been spending all that much time together just the odd conversation here and there.” This comment seemed to change Sirius’ whole demeanour and gosh why couldn’t men just communicate how they were feeling and why, Lily thought to herself. Maybe that sounded too much like she didn’t care about James at all which was far from the truth, she was growing to see him as an exceedingly good friend.
So she rushed to add “but yeah I guess it’s more time than we’ve spent together before, he is a lot” she suddenly felt embarrassed to admit it, especially because Sirius has been singing James’ praises to her for years, but it is the truth when she continues “sweeter than I initially gave him credit for.”
At this, Sirius’ grin returned with astonishing fervour, and Sirius opened his mouth to say something else but Lily cut in quickly before she could be taken trough another emotional rollercoaster.
“I was actually coming to ask about something Remus mentioned” a statement which worked wonders; Sirius immediately closed his mouth and took on that dreamy look he did whenever the topic of Remus was bought up. If it wasn’t so frustrating how they were both getting in the way of their respective happinesses Lily would be hysterically laughing at how they are both so simultaneously obvious in their own feelings but oblivious to the other’s.
“I was complaining about how I never knew what to do with my hair and he mentioned how lovely yours is and how I should come ask your advice because if anyone knows about making their hair look amazing then its you” and Lily couldn’t help but revel in the blush that coloured Sirius’ cheeks, someone who would flirt shamelessly with almost anyone and be unaffected but a small compliment that hasn’t even come from Remus directly has him a gushing mess.
In her endeavour to get them together Lily vowed not to tell any lies in the process, which is why she has no guilt bringing this up because they are the exact words Remus said to her. Although she is fully aware of the fact Remus would be horrified if he knew she had said that particular part to Sirius, but she is doing it for the greater good.
“He said that?” Sirius beamed and wow were they both so hopelessly in love.
“He did” Lily added more softly this time because how could anyone not positively melt into a puddle in the warmth and radiance that glowed from their love.