Cold. Most people hated the cold. Normally, Luz did, too. But right now? At least she could feel something. She walked through the streets of Gravesfield, not really sure where she was going. Her thighs ached under the two layers of pants she had on, but if she were going to live she needed to fight the cold.
It was January in Connecticut, and the weather wouldn’t let anyone forget. December had been fun! Everyone always made it to the Noceda house to celebrate the holidays. But that was over and done with. Hunter, Willow, and Gus had to head back to their home in West Virginia. And Amity was due to head back to school in a few days. Then it would leave Luz alone again. Of course, she still lived at home, and spent a lot of time with her mami. And she could always visit Vee and Masha, they lived like five minutes away.
Luz could always go visit any of them, she would be welcome in any of their homes. But why? It’s the thought that’s plagued Luz’s mind for these past five years. She trapped them in the human realm. She helped Belos, for Titan’s sake! And when they found out? They simply told her it wasn’t her fault, she was tricked and used. A victim.
Luz was many things. Narcissistic? Yeah. Annoying? You bet. But a victim? That didn’t describe Luz. She may have killed an entire world, leaving only five survivors. And she trapped those survivors in a world where they have to hide who they are, out of fear for how the humans would react. Before she went to the Demon Realm, Luz would have called herself worthless. But now, she wasn’t even good enough to be worthless.
Luz sighed as her home came into view. She had finally made her way back after rambling in the cold for several hours. She stopped on the front steps to beat the snow off and checked her phone in the light shining through the window. It was nearly three in the morning. She had a missed call from Amity. Whoops.
“Luz!” The witch in question exclaimed, throwing the door open and pulling Luz inside. Amity felt Luz’s cheek. “You’re so cold, come on. Let’s get you changed into something comfortable and warm you up. Titan, I was worried about you,” Amity said, hugging Luz tightly and kissing her cheek.
“Why?” Luz asked. Amity paused, her forehead scrunched up as she looked at Luz.
“What do you mean?” Amity asked.
“Why worry about me?” Luz asked.
Amity took a moment to look at Luz. Really look at her. Her beautiful cheeks were sunken in, her eyes heavy. “What’s wrong, Batata?” Amity asked.
“Why don’t you hate me?” Luz asked, her voice cracking. She tried to stop the tears forming in her eyes, but felt them roll down her cheek anyway.
Before Luz could blink, Amity had wrapped her into a tight hug. “Why would I? You’re the light of my life, Batata. My everything. You’ve helped me have an amazing life, and given me a home and family that love me. You helped me find who I am, and work on becoming who I want to be. Titan, Luz, I couldn’t imagine my life without you. I love you so much,” she said. Luz said something into the crook of Amity’s neck, but it came out very muffled. “What was that, Sweetie/” Amity asked.
Amity pulled away so she could see Luz. But Luz just stared at her feet. “You shouldn’t,” Luz repeated.
“Why shouldn’t I? Amity asked.
“I ruined your fucking life,” Luz said. “Y-you’d be at home with your family in the Demon Realm if I just hadn’t come along and fucked everything up! You’d all be so much better off if-” sobs racked through Luz, cutting her off.
“Luz, mi amor,” Amity said, “I hate that you carry those feelings around. But that was not your fault. You were tricked, you just wanted to help a fellow human, who you were looking for to help you build a portal home. Plus, you helped him because that’s just how you are! You’re a beautiful person, always wanting to help those around you. You did nothing wrong!”
“I trapped you and everyone else here,” Luz said, sniffling.
Amity reached up and lifted Luz’s chin, so Luz could see her eyes. Where Luz expected anger or annoyance, she saw concern and adoration. “Sweetie, you saved us. The Collector was free, and everything was crazy and who knows what would have happened to us if we had stayed in the Boiling Isles. You brought us to your home, and showed us it was our home, too. Yeah, we miss our families and the Isles. But we are safe and alive because you saved us.”
Amity pulled Luz back into a hug, and Luz laid her head on Amity’s shoulder. Either her head was super heavy or Amity’s shoulder was super soft, Luz couldn’t be sure of which. “You haven’t been sleeping,” Amity stated. Luz shook her head. “Or eating,” Amity added.
“I…” Luz started, but stopped herself. There was no good defense, and she knew it.
“You know I’d come home anytime to be with you and take care of you, right?” Amity asked.
It was Luz’s turn to pull away. “No! I mean, I’d love to see you more, but you worked so hard to get to where you are, and you love college! You can’t stop going, I’ll be fine!” She insisted.
“Will you?” Amity asked. “I’m so worried about you, Luz. I don’t want the voices in your head to take you from me, or even just keep you from being happy and healthy. You deserve to be happy! And it scares me when I’m not here to help you fight them.”
“I promise, I’ll be okay, Sweet Potato,” Luz said. “I’ll work on it, okay? You need to finish school so you can be a brilliant and hot engineer.”
Amity blushed and gave Luz a soft kiss. “What I need is to know you’ll always be with me, even if I’m not right next to you. You deserve to live a happy life.” Luz opened her mouth to reply, but a yawn came out instead. Amity couldn’t stop from smiling. Even in a rough state like this, Luz was the most adorable person in any world. “We’re not done talking about this,” Amity said, “but you need sleep. Let’s go to bed.” Amity scooped Luz into her arms, the human wrapping her legs around Amity’s waist.
“Mami is gonna be mad if we sleep together,” Luz whispered sleepily. Amity chuckled.
“I think she’ll understand this one time.” The purple haired witch said. She was still worried. But together, she knew they could beat anything life threw at them.