Daylight

Regulus is a bit shaky when taking his anxiety medicine. Australia was going to go fine, fine, fine. 

He only thought those words but he felt the voice crack in that last ‘fine’ without using his voice. 

He knows that F1 is a dangerous sport, people have died. Aryton Senna, one of his racing idols, probably everyone’s racing idol, had tragically died in Imola years ago. He was one of the best racers in Formula One history, and they commemorate his legacy every time they drive the Imola Circuit. 

He couldn’t stop thinking, what if that was his brother or best friend? 

He spent the whole night crying when he went home, Barty and Evan found him and did as they always did. Make him feel better. 

They held him, let him cry on their shoulders. Their shirts went with his fear.

He had always been an incredibly anxious person. He had been put on anxiety meds at the ripe age of six, much to his parent's disappointment. But they couldn’t have their son having a panic attack in front of everyone. 

Now he was on a flight to Australia, and totally not freaking out. Totally.

He has never been to Australia. He never drove there in F2 or F3 and his mother hated it so when his father drove there they never went. He doesn’t know why, till now.

When Barty, Evan, and Reg all walked into their rental flat, there was a massive fucking spider on the door. Regulus passed out and Evan screamed louder than everyone F1 car being revved at the same time. 

Barty just laughed and PICKED IT UP, the fucking psychopath. And Regulus felt like he needed a nap. Little Regulus Black, just needs a bit of sleep. That video is Barty and Evan’s favourite, they watch it all the time. Regulus was tired, he always was after races. He needs a solid hour nap before doing anything. The mix of pre-race Racer parades, racing, podiums, and the after-race press. It’s all a bit much.

He really hopes he can get it together enough to race.

The Quali’s went well. James got second and Regulus got first, Sirius smiled bigger for his brother than he had for any of his own wins.

It was sweet.

And now they were lined up, ready to start the Australian GP.

“Okay, James. Try to overtake Regulus, or overwork his tyres, Mercedes is beginning with soft tyres. If you can get him to box after lap 10 then you're set.” Xenophilius's voice was scratchy through the radio but was clear enough, James has got this. 

James didn’t want to ruin Regulus’ chances of a podium place, so he would try to gain some time on him. Only 58 laps he has got this.

James doesn’t got this. His tyres went flat and he had to box in lap 15, and now his tyres were struggling again. Xeno said that the crew messed up and gave him too soft of tyres.

Because now, in P9, his engineer is telling him to box again. He feels like screaming but doesn’t and goes to make a pit stop.

Which dropped him to P12, fucking P12. It is already lap 39 and he is in P12. Jesús, por favor ayúdame. He needed to drive really good to get in the top five. 

He passed Snape and Avery, which was easy because they were both so worried about fighting each other that they didn’t notice. 

He is now in P6, tailing Rosier. They go through the speed trap and the McLaren’s tyres don’t have enough grip and the Ferrari takes his place in P5, right behind Peter. Who is a really good driver, but is scared when it comes to a fight over position. So if James can get close enough then Pete will let him pass. 

James tries, and they get tyre to tyre. But Pete keeps his guard, and James always underestimates his braveness. They stay tyre to tyre, partaking in what could be dangerous driving, before Pete drives a bit faster gaining 0.8 seconds to James.

Lap 56, James might not got this.

“Xeno, standings?” James speaks up, jolting Xeno from his worry. 

“Remus P1, Regulus P2 who is a solid 5 seconds in front of Sirius.”

James nods though Xeno can’t see him, and Pete gets even farther away from him. Xeno says he is 6.8 seconds in front of Rosier, he may just have to settle with P5.

"Xeno, how much does an appendix removal surgery cost? Ask Frank because my pace is absolute dogshit."

"Copy we'll get back to you. We are checking..."

James ends the race at P4 after Pete had to box and lost a few positions. James was disappointed in himself, and watching Remus and Sirius both gain up on Reg and drown him in three bottles of champagne, all of them laughing together, his stomachs filled with jealousy. 

Not because he wanted to win, but because he wanted to be up there, celebrating with Regulus. He wanted to be in Remus’ spot when Reg snuck up on him and poured cold champagne down his suit.

James stalked back to hospitality, not saying anything to anyone. Getting through the press and changing, he hopes he can get through this with no interaction.

“Sorry, oh hi.” That accent can only belong to one boy. Regulus Black, James wanted his French accent to glide down his throat and the Italian to flow through his veins.

James’ hands stabled the small racer and this small intimacy was the closest thing James could get to James’ blood touching Regulus’. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Reg's eyes dropped, his eyelids growing heavy on themselves and his eyes saddened, one green one grey, both full of worry.

Guess James wasn’t hiding his feelings as well as he thought.

“Nothing, nothing.”

“Are you mad about your position? Because P4 is still good. You went from P12 to P4 quickly, that’s amazing!” Regulus tried to smile but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“No, not that. I am fine with P4. But, you all just looked so happy up there. I wanted to be up there, celebrating, with you. You looked so happy, I want to be happy with you.” James finished, refusing to look into Reg's eyes. Regulus thought for a moment.

“Okay, so Barty and Evan will both be going out tonight, celebrating or whatever. I really don’t wanna, I want to take a nap. I get real tired after races.” James laughs thinking of all the pictures already circulating of a post-race sleeping Regulus, just yesterday Remus posted a picture of Regulus curled up on a stool at the pit wall, it was adorable. James saved it to his phone. “So,,, I was thinking of just ordering takeaway and watching a movie, probably falling asleep before 12. Wanna join me? Maybe have a glass of champagne to celebrate, I can pour it down your shirt like I did Remus?” 

“Yeah, yeah I’ll come. But we don’t need the champagne.” James laughed a genuine laugh. Regulus smiled and sent him the address of his rental flat and wished him goodbye. 

James was practically skipping back to his car.

But his Mama showed up, he loves his mom.

“Hola, niño. How are you?” Her accent was warm and friendly as she came into view.

“Good, where is Pa?” 

“Oh, he couldn’t make it darling, sorry. He wasn’t feeling well, there have been some stomach bugs going around.” Effie released him from the embrace and looked up at him with a look only a mother could give.

“Want to come over for dinner?” 

“Oh, sorry, I uh already have plans.” James felt awkward shooting down his mother.

“That’s fine sweetheart. Are you going to a bar with Sirius?”

“No, umm I am going to Regulus’ for dinner.” His face must have really been red, because even through his tan skin his mother saw the colour and smiled.

“Ohhhh, tell me about Mr. Regulus. I have seen him around, he is just the cutest little thing. Did you see Remus’ story yesterday, he seems like a sweetheart.” Her voice is full of fondness for a boy she has never met. 

“You also think he is cute, don’t you?” James blushed even more. “How sweet. So can you describe your feelings for him?”

“I, well, I am not sure. But every time I make him smile and he stops smiling, I feel like I am going through withdrawals. My muscles ache till I can make him laugh again. I feel like I need to find everything that makes his lips curl up even slightly, I need it.” He turned sad knowing he couldn’t have that.

“Sounds like you want him.” Effie smiled knowing she was right.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

James wants Regulus. James wants to kiss him, take him on dates, hold him while they watch a show before bed, and tease him about races or his size or his after-race tiredness. James wants to be able to grab his hand just to feel him, let Regulus wear his tee shirt because that is the closest he will ever be to having Regulus inside his chest, laugh with him, and let him cry to James. James wants Regulus. Every, single, bit of him.

His adorable accent that is somewhere in between French and Italian, his dark curly hair, his big eyes with one being dark forest green and the other being a deep grey. His long eyelashes that fan his cheeks every time he laughs because he closes his eyes. His kitten sneezes that happen exactly three times every time he steps into the sun. His fear of fish, that one time they all ordered Chinese food and he just sat there silently on the floor eating 15 spring rolls while everyone ate sushi. The way his face lights up when he talks about a movie or book he really likes. And every little quirk that makes up Regulus. 

James must have been standing there for a long time with a shook face because his mom laughs.

“Awe, you really like him. I think you should go for it.”

“Ma, he doesn’t feel that way about me.” The words feel weird on his tongue the same way they did when he lied about breaking a vase when he was young. “And he is Sirius’ brother and that could cause issues among racing and-“

“Stop, stop. One, you don’t know till you ask. Two, I am sure Sirius will be happy if you two are happy. And three what they don’t know won’t kill them.” She shrugs off the last thing as if it couldn’t get him fired.

“Well, I am going to head back. I love you lots. And remember your braveness, niño. You are a lion. And Regulus is the heart of the lion.” She kisses his cheek and leaves him in shock. 

He is fucked.

James sighs and gets in his car, a rental Ferrari that was given to him for his time in Australia. That is when he sees Regulus pop into view. He is walking with Barty and Evan, he and Barty seem to be having an animated conversation in Italian.

“Hey, Reg,” James shouts from his window. Regulus looks up and walks to him ignoring Barty and Evan snickering and saying something James doesn't understand. 

“Hi, James?” Regulus looks confused when he comes up to the car, his accent is leaning more toward the Italian side since he has just been using the language. 

“What are you doing right now?” James checks the time, it is almost 6:30.

“Just heading back to the flat, why?” Regulus seems to be growing more confused with each word that is said.

“Well, I know we agreed on getting takeaway, but how bout we go and stop at a little cafe I know and then go back? If your friends don't mind.” Regulus looks behind him to see Barty and Evan violently shaking their heads.

“Sure.”
“Great! Wanna ride with me?” James is feeling very hopeful and his mother's words are sort of clouding his judgement. Regulus nods and gets in, his eyes droopy.

“Tired? How come you are so exhausted after every race?” Regulus looks up looking shocked someone had asked him that.

“I guess I have never really explained it to anyone. Well, if you didn't know I am sort of a nervous wreck.” James laughs though he is confused about where this is going. “During races, I have some sort of I don't know, anxiety high? And that only continues on during press and podium. And then when all that is done and we are just sitting around it all just disappears and I am left sorta empty. I use all my energy being anxious, I guess. I don't know if that makes sense.” Regulus tucks his hands in his thighs and looks down.

“No, that makes sense. I guess I have never had a reason to be nervous before a race. Not that you aren't an amazing driver, probably better than me. But my parents taught me that sometimes a race just doesn't go your way, you lose and are still the same person as after a win.”

“Yeah, my parents don't think like that. You race to win, if you don't win then you are a disgrace to the family.” James grows more sad for the smaller boy, though he already knows this.

“Well, their assholes.” He stops but he can't unsay it, he looks to Regulus who is just laughing.

“Yeah, yeah they are.” He says through giggles, James smiles and looks back to the road. 

They spend the rest of the drive in a comfortable silence, James has never been in a ‘comfortable silence’ with anyone, he likes it. He feels like he can do anything with Regulus. 

“We are here.” James gently shakes Reg’s legs and unbuckles himself. He gets out and goes to open Regulus’ door, holding his hand to help him get out. It is completely unnecessary, he is getting out of a short sports car, but Reg doesn't say anything, he just smiles. 

“So, Potter, are you feeling better about the race now?” Regulus smiles playfully and bumps his shoulder into James’ arm, James can't help but smile even if he knows that he is being teased.

“I definitely am, I should take you to dinner after every race.”
“You should.” Regulus’ eyes have a glint in them, the same way they do after he does better in a race than James. But James has a feeling this has nothing to do with their racing standings. 

“Don't get my hopes up, mi corazón.” James sticks out his hand expecting to be rejected, but Regulus takes it and continues in the cafe. 

They get their seats and drinks and fall into conversation.

“So, why did you really get P4?” Regulus asks.

“My pit crew messed up my fucking tyres. I kept having to box.” James rolls his eyes and Regulus giggles. “It is not funny.” But James laughs.

“No, but you are.”
“You are something.” 

“Can you give me a word?” Regulus will be the death of him one day. But James thinks for a word. 

“Almas gemelas.” James finally says much to Reg’s annoyance. 

“What does that mean? Oh, you're so unfair.” Now it is his turn to roll his eyes.

“Okay, now you do me.”  

“Un raggio di sole,” Regulus says, much to James’ annoyance.

“What does that, oh you're impossible.” Regulus just giggles and takes a drink. “Was that Italian?” 

“Mhm. L'ho sempre preferito al francese.”

“Did you say that you prefer it to French? Oh, look I am learning!”

“I was thinking of moving flats to Monaco when the race season is over.” 

“But you have literally the best flat in Paris!”

“Yeah, but I want to one day move to Italy, and Monaco is the closest I can do right now.”

“Yeah, that makes sense.” The waiter comes and they both order a sandwich for James and a salad for Regulus. When the food comes James takes a snap pea from Reg's plate earning a slap to the hand and a few laughs. James would kill for just a few more laughs. 

God, his mother was right.

The check comes and Regulus reaches for his wallet, being beaten by James who has his already prepared. 

“James, let me pay for my own food.”
“No, pretty things don't pay for their dinner, mi corazón. Don't pout.”
“I am not pouting. I am simply annoyed.” Regulus pouts.

“Mhm, whatever you tell yourself, love. Ready to go?” Regulus reluctantly gets up and takes James' hand that's in front of him. 

“I will get it next time.”

“Sure.” James teases and Regulus rolls his eyes. “Still tired. Well, how about you pick a movie and I don't make fun of you for falling asleep till the morning?” 

“Sounds like a plan.” Regulus laughs.

“What will we be watching?” James asks when they turn onto the street Reg’s rental flat is on. 

“I don't know, what do you like?” Regulus is so sincere with every word he says, it makes his heart melt. 

“No. It is your choice.” Regulus bites his lower lip when he thinks James noticed this habit not too long ago. It may be the death of him.

“Pride and Prejudice?”

“2005?”

“Yeah.”

“Perfect.” James smiles at Regulus and extends his hand which Regulus takes, James will never get over that. 

“You are beautiful.” It comes out of James’ mouth before an actual thought occurs. Regulus’ eyes go wide.

“So are you?” James can't help the laugh that bubbles out of him, Regulus laughs too and James pulls him closer. 

When they walk through the door James’ eyes still haven't moved from Regulus. Regulus looks up, making eye contact.

“Hi.” He breaths.

“Hey.” James smiles. They just stare at each other, and Regulus’ breaths are shaky. James reaches up to move a strand of hair from his face, running his thumb over his cheekbone.

“I wouldn't say no,” Regulus whispers. 

“Regulus, I- '' James doesn't know the right words so he just leans in, Regulus’ hands go to the back of his neck and he rolls onto the tips of his feet to be able to reach James’ lips.

James’ life has been full of hard decisions. What team to drive for, people to trust. Whether or not to break up with his old girlfriend, where to live. 

But kissing Regulus Black was the easiest thing he had ever done. 

James isn't sure how it happens, but soon he is holding his waist so tight there may be a handprint. Regulus deepens the kiss and James may melt to the ground. Regulus’ lips are still sweet from his cherry wine and he smells like strawberry. His breath is cool and his hands are warm as they run up James’ back. Everything about him is addictive and sweet. 

They break apart after a long minute, Regulus’ hair is slightly messy from James’ hands and his lips are raw and red. His cheeks are pink and his eyes are wide. The look of him makes James want to kiss him more, so he kisses his forehead with a lot of mustered restraint. 

“I’ve needed that for a while now, mi corazón.” Regulus smiles and runs his pointer finger over James’ lips.

“Sirius is going to throw a tantrum.” Regulus huffs out.

“Yeah, but he’ll get over it. Y’know, I think he has got something going on with Lupin. So he can't be too upset.” James laughs and so does Reg.

“Yeah, I’ve noticed that.” Regulus grabs his hands and leads him to the couch. When they both sit James pulls him closer to him, drawing stars on his back with his finger softly. 

“Regulus Black, will you go on a date with me?” James says breaking their silence. 

“Took ya long enough.” Regulus laughs and kisses James again, that is all he needs in life. 

James turns on the TV and Regulus pulls a blanket on them. They don't move away from each other, they probably move closer somehow. Neither of them has lost their smiles, Regulus’ is just a bit softer. 

Regulus falls asleep, a whole 15 minutes into the movie. James smiles and watches him. His legs are scrunched up onto James’ lap and his hands are tucked in like a newborn. He looks so peaceful James can't imagine disturbing him. 

James is no longer thinking of everything that can go wrong, Sirius’ reaction, or what the press would say.

He can only think of Regulus’ perfume that is lingering on his hands and gently closed eyes.