Daylight

The urge to freak out disappears when James catches sight of Regulus in his arms. They seem to have relocated to Reg’s bed sometime in the night and Regulus looks so comfortable. 

The sun is slowly fighting through the curtains, the morning is making itself known and loved by many. But hated by some.

“Amar, you need to get up.” James tried to nudge him, they needed to get up and to their planes. The next stop is Japan, the flight won't be terribly long but it won't be super short so they need to leave early enough.

Regulus just grumbles and moves away.

“I don't want to get up either but it isn't an option unless you want to sit out the next grand prix.”

“I am thinking about it.” James laughs and drags him out of bed into the kitchen. His eyes are still half closed when James puts a mug of tea in front of him and a bagel. 

Regulus eyes him with a frown but eats what he is given. They sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes, that is before Barty and Evan come in. Both of them stop in their tracks when they see James. 

“Potter?!” They both shout with wide eyes.

“Morning.” James shoots back. They both look to Regulus then to James then back to Regulus.

“When did this happen?” Evan asks and Regulus just shrugs without answering. So Evan looks to James.

“Uh, last night? We had dinner and stuff.” James now just feels awkward explaining the situation but Regulus doesn't seem to be comprehending much at the moment. 

“Regulus, hai qualcosa da dire in questo momento? Sapevamo che provavi qualcosa per lui, ma questo ci sembra troppo.” Barty directed his attention to Regulus. James really wishes people would stop talking in languages he doesn't understand. 

“Non lo so, sembrava giusto, lo sembra ancora. Mi sembra facile, a differenza di tutti gli altri.” Regulus’ words seem genuine and like he is confessing something. Barty gives him and small smile and nods. 

“You happy?” Evan asks and Regulus nods. “Well okay then, but you are going to have to explain this to Lily and Mary.” 

James grimaces at what their Press Officers might say. He knows they will need to keep this a secret, but they should tell their POs. And Lily and Mary are close enough friends to them both. James remembers Lily from when they were grid kids. She was a part of some programs for families of the lower class. Her dad was a pit crew guy so she was always around.  And now she works for Mercedes and is Regulus and Remus’ PO. Mary has been his PO since F2. James couldn't do it without her. 

But this is a lot for them all. It’s never been seen, a romantic relationship between two drivers. Maybe it happened before, but never publicly. 

James doesn’t even know what they are, he just knows that it’s something. Something is better than nothing. And James is willing to make sacrifices, but he loves his job. Regulus does too, and Regulus just began he very promising career. James can’t risk Regulus’ life for his own happiness.

Regulus seems to feel James’ thoughts and squeezes his hand three times looking up at him. He mouths a ‘You cool?’ James nods. He kisses his forehead and sits down next to him. 

Barty goes off on a rant about the next prix. James and Regulus sit on the couch, Reg’s legs are resting on James’ and their hands are each holding one another. Regulus’ head is rested on James' chest as he listens to his friend. James can’t fight the smile on his lips.

There is a lot of question in James’ life at the moment, but his adoration for Regulus isn’t one. His need for the boy has grown immensely since he met him. He doesn’t require to be in the presence of the Monegasque at every moment, no never. He can be apart from him for days, not happily but still, all James needs is the reassurance that Regulus will always come back to him. That Regulus will always want him and James as he is.

 “What are you thinking about?” Regulus wipers so as not to interrupt his friend.

“You.” 

“Oh, what a charmer.” Regulus pats his face and James’ chest fills with bubbling laughter causing Barty to look up, but he just smiles and turns back to his boyfriend.

“No more third wheeling, huh, Stella?” Evan asks making obnoxious kissing faces. Regulus just rolls his eyes and tosses a pillow at his face.

“It wasn’t third wheeling that time we-“ Regulus gets cut off by a pillow smacking his face. Barty and Evan both have matching pink on their cheeks. 

“What?” James laughs confused.

“James, we-“ Regulus just giggles and James lets out an “oh” of realisation. 

“Be careful, Potter. We will steal your man.” Barty winks at James and Regulus rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

“What time is the flight?” 

“Are you with us, Jamie?” Jamie, oh wow. “Or do you have your own flight?” Jamie, Jamie, Jamie, Jamie, Jamie.

“I have my own flight, but I’ll send you my rental house address?” Jamie, Jamie, Jamie, Jamie, Jamie.

Regulus nods and stands to get ready, James groans trying to pull him back earning a light-hearted glare. 

They break eye contact at the sight of Barty and Evan's fake gagging. Regulus goes and tackles Barty. Barty and Reg wrestle on the floor for a few moments before Evan joins just because he can.

James smiles. Sometimes he forgets that they are just kids. All of them. When you see them on TV with their fake press smiles and rehearsed monologues you forget they are real people, they are just boys. Who makes fun of each other and play fight. They dance at parties and have inside jokes no one but them could ever understand.

It’s sweet and only makes James ador Regulus even more. 

When they are finished, out of breath and tired, a few insults in various languages are shared along with laughs they pick themselves off the floor.

“Ready to go?” Regulus asks when he reaches James with their bags. People already come the night before for a lot of their things so now they only have a few bags with them. 

And in a few moments, a bell bit will come to pick them up, there is a loud buzz, or maybe a bit sooner.

“I’ll get that.” Regulus kisses James and walks off. It’s way too early for this. James hums and walks to the kitchen. He can see Regulus exchange a few pleasantries with the boy and he signs a napkin. Regulus tips him earning a few coo’s. When the man leaves Regulus comes back into the kitchen and smiles.

“I’ve got to go, starlight. Will you be okay?” Regulus nods at James going up to wrap his arms around him. They stand there with Regulus’ arms around James’ waist and absorb each other. 

“I’ll see you in Japan, Jamie.” Regulus kisses James’ lips slowly before ushering him out the door. 

The moment he is out the door, James feels a feeling of emptiness orbiting around him. But it doesn’t upset him, he knows that in a few hours, it will be filled again with the same adoration. 

Damn.

James is more down bad than he thought.

Loco.

~

James needs to do this, but he isn’t excited about it. Mary is currently sitting on the plane texting someone on her phone.

James clears his throat and she looks up.

“Hello, James?” She says.

“Hi, so umm I need you to talk to you about something. You need to promise not to throw me out of the plane.” James sits across from her playing with his hands. 

“Umm, okay? Say it then.”

“Well, you know about that little crush I had on Regulus Black?” 

“Mhm, what about it.” Mary gives him a sceptical look.

“Well, so when we were out at dinner well. I am taking him out on a date.” 

“What the fuck, James?!” Mary stands and throws a pillow at him. “Do you know what a press nightmare this will be?!”

“I know, I am sorry. But Mary, I really like him. I just have this feeling about it, you know!” 

“Are you two official yet?” Mary closes her eyes as she breathes slowly.

“We haven’t really had that conversation, I am planning on asking him after the date.” James feels small. Which is a weird feeling for a 183 cm muscular man.  

“You have to keep this a secret, at least till race season ends. You know this right? It’ll be hard on the both of you.” Mary says with sad eyes, she clearly wishes they could come out like they wanted. But F1 relies on the money of some very traditional rich men who may not react well to modern love.

“We are prepared for that. But I think we can do it.”

“Okay, okay. Please be careful, I don’t want you to get hurt.” Mary sits and sighs.

“I won’t, I don’t think Regulus would ever want to do that to me. I think he really likes me.” James smiles to himself.

“I’m not talking about Regulus.” She gives him a sad smile and turns back to her phone.

~ 

The race went fine. Regulus got third, James got second, and Sirius got first. Remus DNF’d early in the race, he was really upset so they just let him go back to his hotel alone, well Sirius left quietly. Giving a vague explanation, that both Regulus and James knew was a lie. They knew something was going on between the two but they didn’t bring it up, so Regulus didn’t either.

The podium was fun, both James and Regulus sprayed Sirius with Champagne, and they all took a long drink of Champagne, which had a much larger effect on the smaller boy of the three. Regulus felt a little spacey during press interviews.

“Regulus, how are you feeling about the next Grand Prix in China?” A large man who properly towers over Regulus asks loudly. Regulus doesn’t fully comprehend the words. Alcohol tends to affect his English skills before anything else.

“Je suis désolé quoi?” Regulus asks confused. God, he is really struggling. It’s been a long day.

“Comment vous sentez-vous à propos du prochain Grand Prix en Chine ?” Sirius quickly explains.

“Oh, ahh, good. I have, ahh, driven there a few times. And I, umm, think I can drive fast.” Regulus is speaking slowly, he is visibly confused and James can see this. He is giggling from beside Regulus. Regulus elbows him in the gut causing a soft ‘off’ to come out of him. They eye each other for a moment before turning back to the interviewer, who was growing more annoyed by the minute.

When they finally finish the interview, Regulus unzips his suit and it hangs around his waist as they walk to Mercedes Hospitality. Sirius was eyeing them.

“What’s going on,” Sirius says shaking them from their thoughts.

“What!” They both say in unison. They didn’t expect Sirius to put the pieces together.

“Between you two. James, I swear to god you better not be fucking my baby brother.” There was a long silence. “Oh my god! You brother fucker!” Sirius shouts

“Shh, Sirius shut the fuck up!” Regulus whisper yells and pulls them all into his rental car. It’s a nice Ferrari, probably from around 2015. Nothing too nice, but still a sports car.

“You are! You’re fucking!”

“We are not just fucking.” James runs his hand over his face earning a sympathetic look from Reg. “I am taking him on a date later.”

“Regulus, do you like James?”

“I very much do.” Regulus smiles softly. 

His feelings for James are so foreign, that it’s hard to explain. He isn’t sure what the feeling is but it is beautiful. He feels that no matter what happens. If James loses every race and everyone hates him, Regulus can’t imagine feeling any less about him. James will still be the sun that Regulus orbits around. 

“Okay, but I don’t want to hear any details. And no kissing in front of me, my baby brother does not kiss.” Regulus laughs off his brother and turns to start the car.

“I’m dropping you off, Sirius. Where is your hotel?” Sirius gives him an address and sits back. Regulus knows he is eyeing them but doesn’t say anything.

They drive in silence, there really isn’t much to say. At least Regulus doesn’t think so. Regulus has always been okay with silence but he feels the need to fill the air with speaking for some reason. 

Maybe he is just spending too much time with James.

Weird.

“You know you will have to hide this from the media, right?” Sirius speaks up when they reach the parking lot.

“Yeah, I spoke to Mary about it.” James sighs parking the car. Regulus looks a little spooked but doesn’t say anything. 

James talked to her about it? What did she say? Was she upset? Probably, why wouldn’t she be? Oh god, is he going to be fired? No, Mary wouldn’t do that. But if someone else found out or heard them they might. What will the media say? Will his parents find out? Fuck, he really doesn’t want to talk to them about this till he has to. He knows what they will say and-

“Hey, it’s going to be fine.” James’ voice dissolves his thoughts and he takes his hand. Sirius isn’t in the car anymore, Regulus doesn’t notice him leaving. 

“Yeah, yeah I am fine.” Regulus breathes slower.

“That was a lie,” James whispers, Regulus just looks at him with wide eyes. He can feel the space between his eyes burn and water fill them. “Oh baby, come here.” 

Regulus leans into him awkwardly avoiding the middle of the car. He puts his head into the crook of James’ neck. Regulus is happy Sirius took it so well, Siri has always been a little unpredictable so he didn’t know what would happen. But there are still so many people in their lives or people that can affect their lives that may not be as cool about it. 

“We will figure everything out, okay? Let’s go back to the hotel, go to dinner and then try not to think about what other people might say. Right now, you’re the only thing I am worried about.” James kisses his eyes and forehead, turning back to the wheel to start the car. The Ferrari makes a slow start and drives easy. 

There is music playing softly from the speakers. Regulus doesn’t know the artist, someone singing in Japanese, but they have a good sound. It’s relaxed, maybe a little whiny but he doesn’t think much of it. He just turns it up slightly and leans back. James eyes him from the side with a small smile and a gentle gleam in his eyes. He puts his hand in Reg’s laps and takes his hand, playing with Regulus’ hand silently while he drives.

“Thank you,” Regulus whispers.

“Never feel the need to thank me, mi corazón.” 

They are sitting in a dimly lit restaurant, and James can’t help but feel bad for the young Monegasque. He is clearly nervous about all that could happen, and rightfully so. If they aren’t careful their careers could swiftly end. They wouldn’t be fired, but they could be ‘persuaded’ into early retirement. Which neither of them wants.

“Then fucking Mulciber came up behind and rode my tail for a solid 15 seconds, then he rammed into my rear wing, forcing me to box,” Regulus explains him the story of a time when Mulciber fuck him over. James can’t help but listen with complete adoration for this boy, even if he is cussing every second out of pure frustration and anger over something that happened when they were in F2. 

“Well, this is why he drives for Alpine.” James comments and Regulus laughs. It’s a beautiful sound that James wants to absorb. 

“I guess you're right. And we are the lucky ones, we drive for Mercedes and Ferrari. The fancy cars.” 

“I would probably just quit if I got signed to Alpine.” 

“Yeah, well you wouldn’t win any races so there would be no reason to stay.” Now it’s James' turn to laugh.

“We should get ready to go, we have to get to China after all.” Regulus says going to pay the check, getting beaten by James. “God damnit, how are you always faster than me.”

“I’m a Formula One driver, my love. I have to be quick.” James winks putting his card on the table.