Chapter 2
CHAPTER TWO.
Regulus Black thought he was a changed man. He wasn't. He was still a coward, a dirty liar, a cheat, and a stupid, stupid, stupid idiot for letting his friends take down their magic protections on the house for Halloween. He should've talked some sense into them. Maybe then James and Lily wouldn't have died. Maybe. What if. What if he hadn't even thought of going to their house? What if he had made sure Voldemort would leave them alone? Too many things happened too quickly, for Regulus. Sirius's death was two years ago. Remus's death was now a year ago. He was an adult, and Regulus needed to get over this. But he couldn't. Not even at the age of 38 could Regulus escape the horrors he'd witnessed at death eater meetings, in the war, in the battle of Hogwarts, he saw his brother die in the ministry of magic, watched his best friend die in the battle of hogwarts. He'd lost a friend the same way twice. Both by Dumbledore. Stupid Dumbledore. He'd caused Barty's death, and now Remus's by making him fight. He made James and Lily and Marlene and Dorcas and Mary and Pandora and Evan and so many other unnamed soldiers die because he couldn't just keep his hands away from the chess game that is life, the pawns the marauders and the Slytherins the rooks the order of the phoenix the knights, the queen Harry, and the king himself. Dumbledore was selfish. He had made Regulus utterly alone. He had none of his friends that held him as he cried himself to sleep after getting the dark mark, none of the friends that understood his fears and his pains, none of the people he loved. He had nobody to go to. Regulus was absolutely, disgustingly, horrifyingly, alone. His friends are DEAD. Gone forever. He'll never get to be with Sirius and Barty as they dyed his hair, he'll never get to be with Lily and Remus watching the Marvel movies for the thousandth time in a row, he'll never get to play quidditch with James and Sirius, or anything, again. This is the end of an era.
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Regulus opened his eyes, feeling like a weight was on his chest. His eyes started processing where he was. There was a weight on his chest. A very heavy, fat, mean-looking orange cat was sitting on his chest, staring at him like he'd offended it's entire bloodline and ancestry somehow. Regulus then realized he was back in his 3rd year dorm room. The cat was the cat they all combined their money to buy and share. This was ‘mr. Giggle-Wiggle biggie cheese fancy-Pants the forty third.’ That name was picked by Evan and Pandora. Barty was snoring horrendously loud, Evan was on the floor for some reason, while Pandora and Dorcas were both awake, but not really waking up yet, just making small talk. This can't be right. Regulus watched Barty die. He heard all the gruesome details of Dorcas and Pandoras and Evan's, too. This isn't right, not at all…unless Regulus has a time-turner stashed where the sun doesn't shine, this is impossible. He couldn't have gone back in time. But there's no other explanation for it. And from the way none of the others are freaking out because there's a 38 year old man in their room, he's back to being 13 years old, too. He sat up in the oh-so comfortable bed and stretched with a yawn, trying to act normal while also searching his memory for whatever morning this must be. As he stretched, his left arm felt like it was being burned from the inside. It hit him. This was after he had gotten the dark mark. This was after James had seen it. This was the morning after James had snitched to Sirius about Regulus's dark mark. This was before The Prank. This was before he found out Remus was a werewolf. Today was the day after Regulus lost a brother. His eyes felt sore from crying and his heart heavy with regret and fear. He felt hopeless. What if he had to live on from the age of 13 again?! He couldn't do that. He couldn't relive his whole life again. He couldn't relive his friends dying. He couldn't relive his brother dying. He couldn't relive becoming a true death eater. He couldn't relive his first kill. He couldn't relive torturing someone for his parents' approval. He couldn't do this all over again. All the work of going through that, and now he has to do it again?! Absolutely cruel. He doesn't deserve this. Or maybe he does. Regulus doesn't know. He just knows that his brother hated him right now, Remus and James are disgusted, and Peter is, as always, just following their lead. He has nobody except the other slytherins. But maybe he can change this. Maybe that's why he was given this opportunity, so that Sirius didn't die, only having made up with Regulus for a few months. So that he'd have more time with James and Remus before they died. So he'd be able to stop Peter from joining the death eaters. He'd be able to stop everything from happening the way it did. He'd stop barty from being a puppet in his father's games. He'd stop Pandora from her early death in her potions lab. He'd stop evan from being killed by other death eaters for switching to the other side. Regulus knew what he was going to do. He was going to make the marauders more than just a story. He was going to make sure they got to live their lives. He was going to change history. But before he finished that thought, Barty awoke with a high-pitched scream. “AAAAAAAAAAA-” Mr. Giggle wiggle biggie cheese fancy-Pants the forty third jumped off of regulus. Evan groaned, sitting up from his unusual spot on the floor, “SHUT UP, CROUCH! NOT EVERYONE'S READY TO HEAR YOUR GIRLY SCREAMING AT FIVE IN THE MORNING!”
Barty spoke in his heavy French accent. “You shut up! I didn't ask you, Rosier! Go back to bed or don't judge others for their morning routine!”
Anger was visible in Evan's face. He rubbed his face, the skin under his eyes being dragged down, showing the creepy pink skin underneath. He stood up quickly and flopped down next to Regulus once he realized he was awake.
“What's up, tattoo boy?”
Pandora gasped from across the room.
“Evan Garret Rosier! Watch the way you speak to him! He's had a long night!”
Evan rolled his eyes.
“Whatever. If his feelings are hurt, he can take it up with me. I don't need Ms. Pandora Emily Rosier to boss me around.”
She glared at him. Regulus let out a snicker. Their banter was always funny. Pandora glared at him, too. He stopped quickly. She was scary when she wanted to be. Barty looked over at Regulus.
“Hey, Reg? Do you wanna talk about what happened last night? Or no?”
“No. I'm about ready to just go back to bed right now, though.”
Barty frowned worriedly, “you okay? I know what happened was a lot to deal with…”
Regulus shook his head. “I'm fine, bartemius.”
“Don't you full name me, Regulus Arcturus Black!”
Regulus laughed as he got whacked in the head with a pillow that was chucked across the room by Barty.
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Regulus was, in fact, not fine. He wasn't fine at all. He saw the way Sirius, Remus, Peter, and James looked at him as he entered the great hall at dinner. He heard Snape and his fellow idiotic, greasy friends laughing at him. He even saw Lily look at him differently. It hurt. It hurt him a lot. The people he thought he'd always be able to trust didn't even want to speak his name. He felt horrible. It was indescribable. It felt like he hated himself and hated them for hating him. It felt like there were snakes wriggling around in his stomach instead of butterflies. How did a 13 year old him do this? It felt absolutely horrid. He left the feast early. He stayed up in the dorm for the rest of the night, staying in his bed. He didn't even move when his remaining friends came in and went to their respective beds. Regulus only got out of bed to walk to classes the next morning. McGonagall looked at him with a mix of pity and disgust. He barely got by in his classes. Even Professor Binns was visibly worried. Regulus was the top student in every class, and now suddenly, he's barely getting by? It would be worrying to anybody. Regulus just wanted to go back to bed. He didn't even attempt the feast that night. Straight to the dorm he went. Evan walked in alone and sat next to him.
“Are you okay, Regulus? You've been miserable all day. I'm scared for you. You're going through a lot right now, but that doesn't mean you can just shut down. You need to keep going. This will pass, I promise. They will not hate you forever. They can't. Sirius is your brother, and you were tutoring Remus. They will find their way back to you soon. For now, just keep chugging along, okay? Like that one movie you always watch…. Finding Nemo? ‘Just keep swimming, just keep swimming’, right?”
Regulus nodded. He was trying so hard not to laugh at how Evan had pronounced ‘swimming’ as ‘sweeming.’ It was kind of funny to him.
“Yeah. I know. Thanks, Evan.”
Evan nodded, now quiet. He stood up and left silently, most likely to go hang out with Barty. Regulus eventually got himself to sleep. His dreams were vibrant, colorful, but distorted. Like always. He woke in a panic. When he realized where he was, Regulus calmed back down. He was okay. Safe. Home, even. The room smelt like warm vanilla and freshly baked cookies… he looked over at his bedside table, and there was a small plate of cookies with a note. ‘The best cookies made for the best friend I've ever had. -Dorcas Meadowes. P.s. if you eat all of these before I get back, I'm going to throw a chair at you. Love ya! <3’
Regulus laughed at the threat and took a cookie. Yummy. After finishing the cookie, he fell back asleep. He just didn't have the energy to be awake at all. He just couldn't do it. At some point, he felt Mr. Giggle wiggle biggie cheese fancy-Pants the forty third climb onto him again. He didn't awake. He was in too deep a sleep to really wake up to a 40-pound cat crawling onto him. But it was comforting having another living thing there with him. That night, Pandora and Barty never came back to their dorm. They crashed with the ravenclaws after a late studying night. Oh. Right. Tomorrow was the start of their testing. Regulus woke up to Mr. Giggle wiggle biggie cheese fancy-Pants the forty third meowing and purring while clawing into his face. Youch. But it didn't matter. Today was the day regulus was going to change history. Or try, at least. Maybe die trying. He got up, grabbed new clothes, and changed in the bathroom. Regulus suddenly felt ill. He fell to his knees, hovering over the toilet as he hurled. Afterward, it felt like his entire system had been cleaned out. His vision was getting blurry. His heart was racing. That sounded familiar… OH. Oh no. Regulus slips shoes on and sprints to the potions lab. Someone's poisoned him. If he doesn't get an antidote soon, it'll be too late. He slams open the unlocked door and rummages around for a one-size-fits-all antidote just in case it's a more complex magic poison. He finds one and chugs it. He immediately starts feeling better, but everything's still a little blurry. Regulus knew who did it. It wasn't that hard to figure out. It was Snape. The one who wanted him dead for some reason. Regulus started heading to his first class, transfiguration. McGonagall once again looked at him with pity and disgust, but more pitiful than disgusted this time. She saw the dark bags under his eyes and his messy, untrusted hair. Regulus blocked everything out again. He just needed to make it to his free period. Just a few hours, and he'd be able to fix his relationship with Sirius and his friends. Just 4 hours and 32 minutes.
He counted the time every second of that day.