Black Star

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Fortunate Son

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Sirius sat on the poster bed, void of any emotion. The dark ebony planks framed the red velvet bedding in an inviting way. When he first stepped into the room, he crawled into the bed farthest to the right, and sat there for what felt like hours. He felt safe, the curtains half drawn around him and the mattress dipping where he sat.

He could feel his body weighing against the mattress, reminding himself he was there, and still very much alive. The dorm had a smell of freshly cleaned sheets and the warmth from the fire reminded Sirius of the drawing room. The walls were plain brick, but Sirius planned on filling them soon enough. 

His trunk was still left untouched, he could hear the others unpacking and hanging their clothes in their respective wardrobes. Peter had picked the bed to the far left, close to the bathroom. James settled himself next to him, and Remus took the one next to Sirius. The four of them were mostly silent after dinner, partly because of the tension that still filled the air but mostly because they were all exhausted.

He couldn't bring himself to get up, but he felt too restless to sleep. So he peeked out the curtains to observe what the rest of his friends were doing.

Peter was hanging some Quidditch posters by his bed, careful not to wrinkle any of them. His clothes were already neatly organized in his wardrobe, all separated by colour. (Which was mostly black, they didn't have a huge selection of robes when it came to the uniform.)

James was sprawled out on his bed, arms stretched out and eyes closed. His position reminded Sirius of a starfish. He looked as if he was evaluating the softness of the mattress. (Sirius could tell from the pleased look on his face that it did not disappoint.) 

Remus had already unpacked all his things. Books were stacked all around his bed, some tucked under it. Some of them were particularly thin, but large. Like huge cardboard squares. Maybe they weren't books at all. He noticed that very little space in his trunk was for clothes, and that most of his baggage consisted of books and this one big contraption, which he placed atop his bedside table. It was a bit like a box, it had a bunch of weird buttons on it and Sirius recognized it from somewhere, but he couldn't recall.

Remus took out a weird disc from one of the thin square books, and suddenly something snapped in place in Sirius’s mind.

“You have one of those muggle dance machines!”

Remus turned to him, pure confusion on his face. The two other boys stopped what they were doing to listen to him, just as shocked as Remus was. He hadn't spoken in over an hour, and no one expected him to, even less for these words to come out of his mouth. After dinner, Sirius had been quiet. When the other’s asked if he was alright, he shrugged it off and simply said he was tired. They all knew he wasn't, but understood he needed time for himself after the sorting.

“Uhm, what?” Remus finally said.

“The disc spins and it makes people dance right?”

“Oh, it makes music you mean? Yeah.”

Sirius seemed to consider this for a minute.

“I don't get it.”  James announced.

“Yea, if it's a muggle invention, how does the music magically come out of the disc?” Peter agreed.

“Will you show us how it works?” James asked Remus.

The boy nodded, and placed the disc in the middle of the box. He pressed a weird button, and lifted a small latch before dragging a long lever above the disc. It suddenly started to spin, but no sound came out. Remus twisted one of the buttons, before stepping back and waiting.

Sirius watched as the black circle spun, and the tip of the lever danced on top of it. He was beyond startled when music started playing out of nowhere.

“Woah! That's bloody brilliant.” James jumped out of his bed to get a closer look, followed by Peter.

Remus stood back with a shy smile. “Yeah it's pretty cool I guess.”

“How'd you get it?” Sirius asked.

“My mum’s a muggle.”

“Oh.”

Remus lifted an eyebrow, his smile vanishing. Got something to say? Sirius hated it when he did that. He quickly looked away.

“So… all those discs play different songs? James continued.

“Vinyls.” Remus corrected. “Each of them is a different album.”

“Album..?” Peter asked

Remus could only sigh. They spent the rest of the night listening to him explain the wonder’s of muggle music. Eventually, Sirius went back to his bed, exhausted from the day. The other’s amused themselves by listening to every album Remus had brought, commenting on the weird lyrics they couldn't understand. Which resulted in more explaining from Remus’s part and more oohh’s and woahh’s from Peter and James. Sirius fell asleep as the vinyl spun, lulled by the sound of Remus’s voice.

 ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ 

The first few days were a blur. In Between classes, trying to find his way through the castle and hanging out with his new friends, Sirius had little time to think about the horrors of being sorted in Gryffindor. In fact, it wasn't all that bad…

The professors were, quite frankly, very strange. Each of them was clearly passionate about what they teach, and there was no doubt they were talented wizards, which made their class fun to go to. With a few exceptions of course, no matter how passionately he talks about the history of magic, Professor Binns could never make the subject interesting. The only way to pass the time in that class is to watch the ghost in question float around while talking, wondering if he would notice if Sirius threw a crumpled piece of paper at him. 

 James and Sirius came up with plenty of ideas to make class interesting. In potions, the possibilities were endless. They were informed at the very beginning of their first class that potion making was a careful and precise art. A single ingredient, a single miscalculation could ruin your potion or make your cauldron explode. What an interesting piece of information. I wonder what a group of four young boys would do with that kind of knowledge…

Let's just say Slughorn regretted saying these words. James and Sirius had paired up to work on their potion, except they worked on every single potion but their own. By the end of class, their cauldron was still empty and half the other student's cauldrons had, strangely, exploded or bubbled up and spilled out. Peter and Remus joined in too, obviously, but they were just a bit more discreet about it. The both of them were actually great at potions, and finished their work very quickly. When other students came to them for advice or asked a few questions, impressed by their talent, the boys answered. Although, Remus might have told a small curly haired girl to put dittany in her potion, instead of wiggentree bark. Let’s just say she didn't come asking for more questions after her potion splashed all over her hair. To be fair, Remus thought it was her fault for not even bothering to read the ingredient list before coming to him. Peter helped another student, helping him keep track of all the steps. Except he recited them all in opposite order, totally by accident, and the potion ended up looking like a bucket of mud. Peter blamed it on the lack of talent from the former student. The four boys built a reputation quite quickly, and not before long, the whole school knew of the first year Gryffindor troublemakers.

For transfiguration, the situation had been a little awkward. The professor was the old lady that scolded them on the first day, professor McGonagall. She kept a wary eye on the four boys, so they didn't risk doing anything. Thankfully, transfiguration was pretty entertaining even without the pranks. The boys got to watch the other students fail to transform all kinds of objects, resulting in weird hybrids. Like when they had to turn a mouse into a snuffbox and it kept its whiskers. Transfiguration was quite tricky. At first, Remus and James struggled to turn a match into a needle, even if it was meant to be an easy exercise. Sirius, unsurprisingly, excelled with ease. While Peter accidentally set the match on fire, somehow, and got points deducted from his house for the fire hazard.

Now, getting to class was a whole other story. Hogwarts was huge, and in a week of class they barely got time to explore more than a quarter of it. The castle branched out in all sorts of directions, hallways splitting everywhere, stairs moving around, honestly getting around was impossible. They often arrived late to class, but the teachers understood the struggle of the first years so they let it go most of the time. In their free time, the four boys would walk around the grounds, finding new interesting chambers and hallways. Remus even found a secret passage behind an old statue, and Peter found another one inside a well. (As for how exactly he found that one, he won't say, but Peter did come back that evening dripping head to toe.) 

Still, Sirius’s favourite place was the Gryffindor common room. Unlike the Slytherin dungeons he’d read so much about, the common room was bright and warm. With libraries filled with old books and dark red tapestries all over the walls, he spent all his evenings reading by the fireplace. James would make tea for all of them, leaving two cups on the end table by the sofa, for Sirius and Remus who read on the couch, and took the two others with him by the window, for him and Peter to sip on while they played wizard’s chess.

After the initial mystery of the apparating food, the boys decided to do some research. They quickly discovered that, right under the Great Hall, a kitchen filled with elves was behind all of it. The elves would prepare the dishes and place them on the five tables in the middle of the kitchen, which were magically linked to the ones above, and the food transported itself up to the Hall when the time came. James found the entrance to the kitchen behind a painting. At first, the elves ignored him and just kept working, but James had other plans. Soon enough, he’d made friends with the entirety of the kitchen elves, and every evening he would head down and make tea while chatting with them.

Sirius wonders how none of this was mentioned in the Hogwarts history book, but he didn't care much either. He never really liked elves. When Sirius came down for the first time, he ordered the elves to make him some pudding, being rude out of habit. James quickly scolded him and forced him to address the elves by their names and be polite to them. Sirius thought it was a bit ridiculous but he listened to James anyway.

James was unnecessarily kind to them. Actually, he was unnecessarily kind to anyone. Sirius was annoyed by this at times, mostly because he just didn't understand why. But in the end he learned to appreciate it, because that included him. James was a mystery to Sirius, yet they went along swimmingly. The both of them did practically everything together, pairing up in every class and never leaving the others sight. Sirius felt guilty at times. He felt like he was using James to forget all of it, to replace his brother he missed so much, to distract him from the truth. But even if James knew he was being used, he probably wouldn't even mind, so Sirius let go of that feeling.

When they were together, Peter was often left behind with Remus. He was a bit upset at first, but James still had the magical talent of making everyone feel included, so that made up for it. Sirius had disliked Peter at first. He seemed weak and frankly annoying, but with time he grew to like his witty retorts and constant mom-like worrying, it was fun to taunt him.

Remus had also been a bit rude and tense at first, but Sirius quickly realized he was a rather calm and easy going person. He did have a short temper the first few days, always snapping at his friends for no reason, which often resulted in him and Sirius bickering. But one night he left to go to the infirmary (he had fallen down a flight of moving stairs on his way to class, Sirius would pay to see it but unfortunately he didn't get the chance) and came back slacker than ever, like the nurse gave him a tranquillizer or something. Sirius didn't question it too much, though he missed the bickering. In the end, Remus was a very reserved and quiet person. He often snuck out alone, going merlin knows where. Sirius was curious about that too.

Now, they were in defense against the dark arts, a class most students were excited to go to, but Sirius not so much.

The classroom reminded him of Grimmauld Place. With an imposing iron chandelier hanging from the ceiling and a dragon’s skeleton he could feel staring at him from the corner of his eye, it felt just like home. The large windows were covered by heavy curtains, making the room gloomier than it should be. Sirius wondered if all of this was to adhere to the dark arts atmosphere, you know, make the teaching more efficient. Anyway, if the goal was to make students scared enough to take the subject more siriusly (haha), it didn't really work.

A rumour had been going around that every year, without fail, there would be a new defense against the dark arts teacher. Not one could hold the position any longer, always leaving or getting fired for various reasons. This should be concerning, but to the students, it was more of a challenge more than anything. 

Class had barely started five minutes ago and the teacher was already going on about Imps, not bothering to even introduce themselves. Sirius didn't blame them though, there was no point in introductions.

“Think he’ll even last a whole year? Looks like he’s given up already.” Peter muttered. He sat with James, while Remus and Sirius were at the table behind them.

“Can you blame the poor sod? I mean look around.” James waved his hand around, pointing at the class.

Students were doing everything but listening. Some were already tearing pages from their manual and throwing them around. A few paper planes flew around aimlessly, twirling in the air. In the back of the class, a group of girls chattered and giggled. They were trying to stay quiet but the whole class could hear them. The professor ignored them, not even bothering to turn around as he kept writing on the board. The only person truly listening was a ginger girl in the front row, diligently taking notes. 

“Hey what’s on the first year curriculum?” Remus asked.

“Uhh after Imps we have gnomes I think, but once we’re done with that we get to learn about a bunch of cool stuff like zombies and vampires.” James offered, leaning on the back of his chair, his head hanging upside down in an attempt to look at Remus, who had to catch his glasses before they fell on the floor between them.

“Here there’s a section about werewolves, look.” Peter lifted up his book to show the other’s.

“What? I thought we wouldn't learn about them until next year.” Remus stretched himself over his desk to get a better look at Peter’s manual. “What page is that?”

“We don’t learn about them, just the cure for the bite.” Sirius drawled as he mindlessly spun his quill between his fingers. “How come you know next year's curriculum but not this one?”

“That’s Strange though, how come we learn about the cure for the bite before the monster itself” James asked.

Remus didn't answer Sirius’s question and stayed quiet, now searching for the page in his manual.

“I think it's in case of an emergency, so you can save someone before they bleed out.” Peter offered

“I heard most people beg you not to cure them, they prefer to die than to become a monster.” James said sadly.

“Can’t blame them.” Sirius shrugged.

“Hey, does anyone know the name of that girl in the front?” The curly haired boy asked, readjusting his glasses.

“The ginger one?” 

“Yeah”

“Lily Evans.” Remus answered quickly. “Uh I think.” He added once the three boys turned to look at him.

He looked slightly pale, his shoulders tense as he closed his defense against the dark arts book.

“Lily Evans…” James repeated, looking longingly at the front of the class.

The three boys turned to each other and shared a look. 

 ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ 

Flying lessons were the most awaited by James and Sirius. They had already set their minds on trying out for the quidditch team, even if they had very little chances to get in during their first year. The second the professor instructed them to call their brooms and hop on, the two boys were already flying above her head. James and Peter had practiced many times when they were younger, they practically flew around all summer long. Sirius did have a private tutor when he turned ten, but once he finished his courses he never practiced again. His mother didn't allow him out of the house, so as you can guess, there’s not much space to fly around in the living room. Anyway, he was too busy with piano and French lessons. The only one who had no prior experience was Remus, who wobbled around on his broom, barely a few feet above the ground. He struggled to keep his balance and quite frankly looked like he was about to cry. 

“Hey you two! Get down, I didn't say you could fly around yet!” 

Sirius flew back down, stopping by the poor hazelnut haired boy who looked like he was breakdancing on his broom.

“Why Remus, don't you look just so graceful.” Sirius grinned at him.

“Get fucked, Black. How do you even do this?”

“Just relax, you're too tense.”

“Well no bloody shit, what if I fall?” The other boy cried out.

“Remus, I hate to break it to you but you could literally put your foot back on the ground from where you are. You're barely even off the floor.”

“Well it doesn't feel like it!”

“Oh don't be a baby, loosen up would you?” Sirius flew around him, twirling around and showing off a few tricks. Some girls a few feet away were staring at him. The other boy gripped his broom tighter, like the slight breeze could make him fall off.

“Sirius!” He yelped when the raven haired boy got a little too close,  the end of his broom tickling Remus’s nose.

“Sorry!” He sounded all but sorry, choking out a laugh.

Peter joined them and landed next to Remus. He started giving him advice, instructing him to bend his knees and lean on, but his efforts seemed to be fruitless. Remus still looked stiffer than his broom stick. Once the professor gave them the go ahead to fly around for a bit, James quickly joined Sirius.

“Bet I can make a lap around the pitch faster than you” He grinned at him.

“Oh really?” Sirius said eagerly, already flying away towards the stands.

“Hey! You cheater!” James chased after him.

 ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ 

Sirius shoved the letter in the drawer, closing it with a loud thud. Out of sight out of mind, as they say, except they lied. It was the only thing he could think about.

When he came back to his dorm that evening, his owl stood there, holding a letter. A letter with his family's crest stamped on the black wax. They knew, of course they knew. 

It had barely been a few weeks since the sorting, how could rumours possibly spread so fast. Had his cousins told them? Probably. He didn't want to think about it.

“Aren't you going to read your letter?” Remus asked from his bed, where he was reading. He snapped his head up to look towards Sirius, moving his dark blond hair out of his eyes.

“No.”

“You’re not curious? Who sent it?” 

“None of your business. Shut up will you?” Sirius snapped.

Remus reluctantly dropped his head back in between the pages of his book. Sirius threw himself on his bed, trying not to think about anything.

James burst into the room, clearly unaware of the tension in the air. His glasses sat loosely on his face as he strode around. 

“Oh I'm exhausted! Remus put some of that bug thing on, would you?” 

“What? Bug spray?” He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. 

“No, the disc you played last time.”

“Oh. You mean the Beatles.” Remus stood up and searched through his records.

“Speaking of bugs though-” James turned to Sirius. “Could you close that window? It's getting cold and the flies are coming in.”

Sirius didn't want to close the window but did it anyway. Perhaps it was out of habit but he just couldn't sleep without the window open. When he was small, his mother never let him have a nightlight. So, on dark nights where his imagination kept him awake, he looked outside at the starry sky, hoping the starlight would keep the monsters away.

Once the window shut, Sirius returned to his bed. He felt breathless, like the window brought in the only air in the room, and now, he could only choke. Here, he had a nightlight, but it wasn't the same. 

“Cant believe classes just started and we already have so much homework…” James complained. “Good thing tomorrow’s Saturday though, can’t wait to head out and practice. Sirius, you'll come with me tomorrow morning right?”

“Now Potter, why on earth would I wake up before ten on a Saturday to go play Quidditch?” Sirius spoke from the other side of the room. “You know no first years ever make the team right? I don’t see the point.” 

“No harm in a little practice. Also that’s not even true! I’m sure some first year made it in the team… a few years ago.” James retorted, spreading his textbooks all over his bed.

“Centuries ago.” Remus corrected, still not lifting his head.

“I’ll go with you if it's in the afternoon, not before then.” Sirius compromised.

“Alright, Alright.” James opened his charms manual. “Remus, did you start the reading assignment? Can't remember the bloody pages…”

“Oh yeah, I’m done. It's the chapter after the introduction we read in class.”

“How on earth are you done already? Sirius sat up in surprise, gapping at Remus. “We got that homework assigned this afternoon!”

“Wait… We read in class?” James looked lost.

“I had already read that part.” Remus sighed. “And yes, James. We read the whole unit on levitation.”

“Huh… guessed I missed that.”

“You were right there! You just couldn't keep your eyes away from Lily instead of looking at the board.” He said dramatically, rolling his eyes.

“You’ve read the textbook already? Like the whole thing?” Sirius asked.

“No.” Remus replied quickly. “Just the interesting parts…”

“Is that why you read all the time then, getting ahead on school work? Bimley, that's boring. What are you reading right now, potions?” James said, forgetting about his textbook and now fully engaged in the conversation.

“No, I’m reading an actual book. And what's wrong with getting ahead? Didn't you say so yourself, no harm in a little practice?”

James looked appalled “You can't possibly be comparing homework to quidditch right now…”

“Interesting parts, please.” Sirius scoffed. “There isn't a single interesting part in that entire textbook. Not in the charms manual, not in the potions one, and even less in the second year defense against the dark arts one.”

Remus gave Sirius a pointed look before going back to reading. James looked at them both, his smile had faded a little and, he too, dropped his head back down in his textbook.

“Oh so now you’re ignoring me? Great. I'm just trying to understand why you’re so fucking boring. Forgive me.”

“Oh shut up! You mean I’m ignoring you just like you’re ignoring the letter from your parents?” Remus snapped at him.

“Don’t fucking bring my family into this! That’s none of your business!” Sirius quickly stood up, he felt his nails digging into his palm.

“Oh? So when you ask questions I have to answer, but when I do it, It’s none of my business. Oh so spoiled little lord Sirius Black wants something, he gets it. Isn't that right?”

Sirius’s blood was boiling as he strode to Remus’s bed, screaming. “Fuck you! You have no idea what you’re talking about!”

“You know what? I’ll answer your fucking question.” Remus dropped his book and got up too, meeting Sirius’s eye. “Not all of us have a stunning generational library at home, filled with expensive books. Not all of us can bloody afford the luxury that you live in, you stuck up little prick. So I read whatever I can get my hands on, the mandatory textbooks, which happens to be the only fucking books I had!”

Sirius was quiet for a second. He could feel his face burning with rage and a single tear falling from his eye. Remus looked at him with resentment and looked just as angry as he was.

“Uhm… I think I’ll go look for Peter.” James slipped out of the room. Sirius had forgotten he was there.

A heavy silence filled the room, as the two boys tried to catch their breath from all the screaming.

“I didn't know…” Sirius finally whispered.

“Yeah. So maybe keep your questions to yourself next time.” Remus was still angry, but he slowly retrieved his bed, his back facing Sirius.

The raven haired boy still stood there.

“They aren't happy.”

“What?” Remus turned to him.

“My parents. They know I got sorted in the wrong house. They… they'll be angry” Sirius breathed out, more tears flooding out of his eyes. He couldn't bring himself to say more. He couldn't explain what “angry” entailed, he couldn't tell him what they would do.

Remus looked at him and his face softened. He watched him with pity, which Sirius hated.

“So that’s why you won’t read your letter.”

“Yeah.”

“I didn't know…” Remus looked back down.

With mutual understanding, they both went back to bed. Remus read for a while and Sirius stared at the roof of his bed.

“It's my fault.” Remus spoke, a few minutes later.

“What are you talking about?” Sirius turned on his shoulder to look at him.

“I said those words, before the sorting…” Remus had dropped his book and was now facing Sirius, they both stayed quiet for a while.

“It's not your fault. I think I would have ended up here anyway.” Sirius finally said.

Remus looked at him, and then at his bedside table. “You know avoiding it won’t change anything. Right?” 

“I know.”

Eventually, Peter and James came back to the dorm. James looked relieved when he saw his two friends on their beds, reading quietly. Sirius still had a sore throat and a runny nose from crying, and Remus had an empty look in his eyes. None of the boys spoke much, it was late and they were all too tired to deal with this anyway.

Sirius felt guilty, anxiety eating him alive as he laid on his bed. He felt bad for saying those things to Remus. He felt bad for being an ungrateful son. He felt bad for not opening that letter. His heart was beating fast in his chest, as if it wanted to expand further but chains were tightening around it. He stared at the wooden panel roof of his bed, much closer than the ceiling back home. Maybe he could find a way to learn that spell they used in the great hall, to turn it into the night sky and gaze at the stars instead of the wood splinters.

Before going to bed that evening, Sirius grabbed the small bead chain and pulled down. The lamp on his bedside table lit up, painting the brick walls with orange hues. He closed the curtains around his bed, leaving a small opening for the light to come in, and kept his body as close to it as he could. The rest of his coat faded into shadows, he couldn't stretch his hand, in fear of losing it. The quiet buzz and fluttering of wings surrounded him, before silence overtook, as it settled on the lightbulb.

Sirius wondered if the flies clung to the light because, they too, were afraid of the dark.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

Sirius had spent a lot of time thinking. Many hours, many nights. He’d think of ways he could fix this, ways he could still make his mother proud. In the end, he came to the inevitable truth. There was no turning back now. He had, in barely a few weeks, made himself the opposite reputation that his mother wanted. He was a Gryffindor, he was a troublemaker, he hung out with a  Potter, and others of dirty blood. And, the thing is, he came to realize, he didn't care. His house was pretty bloody amazing and everyone was kind to him. When he looked over to the Slytherin table, filled with stern and unhappy looking faces, he didn't regret a single thing. His friends were fun and cared for him, more than his mother did. They pulled all kinds of pranks on the others and Sirius felt so free, he could do anything. Well, technically not, he still got detention quite often for breaking the rules, but that was better than a cutting spell. He was having the time of his life, at least his mother was right about that.

So, why should he stop? Why would he “fix things” for his mother he doesn't even like, for his shitty family? What was the point of trying to salvage his old life when this one was so much better.

Sirius had made up his mind. Last night, he threw his letter in the fire, watching the paper burn and the wax melt. When there was nothing left of it, he went down with James to the kitchen and talked with the elves, making sure to use their names this time. He had realized that he didn't actually hate elves, they were very nice creatures, he just disliked Kreacher.

Now, the morning after, he sat with his friends at breakfast and did not regret a single thing. However they just finished quidditch trials earlier that morning, and that, he did in fact regret.

“We need to get back at Hooch for not letting us in the team. I mean it's ridiculous!” James complained, stuffing his mouth with various foods. 

James had… experimental taste. He dipped his apple in the yolk of his egg and took his toast with chocolate spread, beans and an obscene amount of pepper. Sirius thought it was kind of gross but admired his friend for his bravery.

“Told you.” Remus had a smug looking look on his face.

 He was spreading jam on the quarter of his toast, the three other corners were filled with marmalade, lemon curd and butter. Sirius noticed he ate mostly sweet stuff in the mornings, or any time of the day actually. If it wasn't toast, he ate all kinds of pastries and biscuits that were spread all over the table.

“Let's be honest, you totally got destroyed by that second year girl with the ponytails.” Peter was, thankfully, one of the only ones that ate a normal breakfast. With the classic bacon and sausage, a fried egg and beans on the side. He did eat a lot though.

“Did not! A girl could never beat me!” James shot back.

“Oh hope off your high horse, she had you falling off your broom.” Sirius snickered.

“Oh you want to talk about how you almost got hit by a bulger like five times??” James gave Sirius a pointed look.

“Nice weather, Right Pete?” Remus ignored James and Sirius as they kept bickering.

“Truly wonderful! Hasn't been sunny in a while, it's always raining here…” Peter answered, also pretending he doesn't see James and Sirius now throwing food at each other.

“Think we could spend the day laying in the grass, enjoying the sun.” Remus looked out the big windows of the Great Hall dreamingly.

“That’s called tanning.” A curly haired girl butted in randomly. Her name was Mary. Sirius had learned it by listening to the teachers screaming it constantly because she never paid attention. Her, Lily and Marlene sat next to the four boys, and whenever one of the girls spoke to them, they would all blush and be oddly quiet for a few seconds, unaware of how to interact with them. 

Lily stayed quiet most of the time, but no one could blame her, James was always staring at her and it was getting a bit creepy at this point. She had ivory skin and bright red hair that fell off her shoulders. A few faded freckles here and there, with emerald eyes, she was cute, but Sirius didn't see what James saw in her. 

The blond one next to her was Marlene, taller than all of them and pretty strong, for a girl, Sirius though. She liked talking about quidditch with them from time to time. She didn't try for the team this year though, she was more sensible than them. 

The most talkative of the three was Mary. She had olive brown skin that looked so smooth it seemed to shine. Her hair was shorter than the others, but that might be because it was so curly. She had a bright smile that made her eyes squint and her cheekbones fly up.

“Well, Sirius could definitely use a tan.” Remus turned to Sirius and smirked.

“Yeah, you're so white, you look like a ghost.” Peter continued.

“Do you even go outside?” James added.

Sirius rolled his eyes dramatically. No, he wanted to answer. I’ve been locked in my stupid house for twelve years. He stayed quiet and ate his poached eggs, with cutlery this time.

“As long as we get revenge on the quidditch instructor I’m down to do anything.” James finished licking his plate.

“Is it really a good idea to get on her bad side? She’s the one choosing who goes on the team, if you still wanna have a chance to get in the team next year you better not do anything to get her mad.” Peter commented.

“How would she know it was us? We can do something subtle… not too extravagant. Just something to let my frustration out.” James looked deep in though, brainstorming ways he could get back at her.

“We could egg her office, her window is low enough to reach it from the courtyard.” Remus offered, grabbing another toast.

“Egg?” Sirius asked, confused.

“Yeah, like throwing eggs at her window. It’s a muggle thing.” He answered.

“That’s… actually pretty wicked. I could ask the elves for a few spare eggs.” James lit up at the idea.

“And I get to lay in the sun while you guys do that.” Remus sighed.

“Think you could ask the elves for ice cream while you're there James? Peter asked enthusiastically.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

The day was going great, until Sirius got sent another letter. This time, encrusted behind the Black family stamp, melted in the wax, stud out a small violet flower. It had been pressed and Sirius recognized it as one from Regulus’s collection. This time, he ripped the letter from the owl and quickly opened it.

Remus had turned his head to look at him, a worried look on his face. He sat on the couch next to him and leaned in to read the letter with him, but Sirius put his back to him. James and Peter were still playing chess, unaware.

“You’re opening it?” The boy next to him asked.

“It’s Reg.” Sirius took it out of the envelope, unwrapped the neatly folded letter and read.

Dear Sirius,

Is it true? 

You didn't answer the last letter and mother is getting mad. She lashed out a couple times, but not at me thankfully. Dad has a huge scratch from her nails on his arm, he looks like he got attacked by a cat, it's kind of funny.

I've been mostly hiding in my room. I have to be careful, sometimes I can hear her screaming, not screaming at anyone in particular, just screaming. I think you’ve worsened her mental state, it's somehow worse than what it was.

You have to clear things up with her, she thinks you're some kind of blood traitor and a Gryffindor, there's all kinds of rumours going around. The paintings have been talking.

Anyway, I’m alright. Please answer me, or mum, before things get out of hand.

R.A.B

Sirius felt like throwing up. He had been so busy worrying about what his mother would do to him that he completely forgot about Regulus. What if she hurt his brother instead? It wouldn't be the first time. Walburga often used the two brothers against each other to get what she wanted, threatening to hurt the other if one disobeyed.

He had been so selfish. God, what was he thinking? Putting his brother in danger like that. Worst of all, Reg was still innocently clueless as ever. He thinks his older brother could never step out of line, he still believes in him. 

Would he be mad at him too, if Sirius told him it was true? It was all too much to think about. Sirius shakingly shoved the letter in his pocket and ran to the bathroom.

“Sirius? Are you alright?” Remus called after him, but Sirius didn't look back.

“Wonder where he’s going…” James lifted his head from the chest set, cluelessly.