dazai yearns for chuuya in broad daylight because only pansy knows that hes in the gc. tf. chuuya also gets hit on once again??? someone give this kid a break
hell’s hounds
dazai’s husband: bro.
dazai’s husband: i CANNOT deal with the weird flirting anymore
#1 opp: uh oh
#1 opp: what happened this time
luka stan: bro get me over there i have some competition
dazai’s husband: don’t worry dazai you’re ten times worse <3
luka stan: haha ily <3
dazai’s husband: ilyt ❤️❤️
luka stan: A
luka stan: AA
dazai’s husband: oh
dazai’s husband: anyways some kid in my potions class like
dazai’s husband: he asked me to hand him the porcupine quills
dazai’s husband: when i did he went "that’s a good little cupcake"
dazai’s husband: ???
luka stan: BYE WHAT
#1 opp: HELP??
luka stan: I AM JOT WORSE THAN THAT. THATS INSANE LMFAOAOOAOA
dazai’s husband: yeah i’m dying
dazai’s favorite: People seem to really like flirting with you in odd ways.
dazai’s husband: right
the brains: It highlights how unique you are!
dazai’s husband: how to un-uniqueify myself rn IM TIRED
dazai’s husband: the courting thing was only funny the first time
luka stan: you’re getting a new reputation cupcake
dazai’s husband: jump.
luka stan changed dazai’s husband’s name to cupcake
cupcake: …
cupcake: i swear
luka stan: lols
luka stan: bro i literally cut myself the other day
old ass gyaru meiko stan: why
luka stan: WDYM WHY
luka stan: ....
luka stan: NOT ON PURPOSE. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT
cupcake: for once
luka stan: excuse me
cupcake: ❤️
luka stan: bro why am i always getting slandered this is such hate
cupcake: i’m channeling my inner chuuya nakahara and bashing you just like he does
luka stan: lol
#1 opp: lol
luka stan: QUIT COPYING ME
#1 opp: SHUT THE FUCK UP
luka stan: heh. i don’t shut up, i grow up. and when i look at you, i throw up
#1 opp: you’ve said that to me like ten billion times GIVE IT JP
luka stan: jp? like japan? like yokohama??? like mori??? ewwwwwwwww 🤮🤮🤮🤮
luka stan: omg ew i hate mori WHATBWHK SAID THAT HAHAHAHA 👁️👁️
cupcake: how tf has bro not fired you yet i’m gonna cry
luka stan: he wants me and my smartness so bad fr
luka stan: alsp you’re worse
luka stan: always making me do shit
#1 opp: bro is he bending you backwards or smth 💀
luka stan: damn i wish he was bending me backwards 💔
luka stan: woah someone hacked my phone wtf ewww yuck who’d say that
#1 opp: BRO
cupcake: oh
cupcake: um
cupcake: bend over i guess 👅👅
luka stan: SAY LESS 😍😍
pranks and chaos #1: hey guys can we not have esex thanks 😄😄
luka stan: ew
luka stan: im not some 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴
cupcake: you probably are
luka stan: NO IM NOT
luka stan: i yearn for love
luka stan: moment of weakness no i don’t i was jk
cupcake: oh wow that’s sad
pranks and chaos #2: it’s ok dazai we love you!!!
luka stan: ew
lukastan: no
pranks and chaos #2: WHAT
luka stan: 😛💞
luka stan: gyatt damn my stomach hurts
old ass gyaru meiko stan: tf is a gyatt
luka stan: i have a gyatt
cupcake: whatever helps you sleep at night
luka stan: 💔
luka stan: holy shit i’m actually so gay do you ever see a pic of someone and you’re just like “yep that’s my type”
the brains: No?
luka stan: oh
luka stan: anyways that’s me whenever i see chuuya nakahara in the papers
cupcake: oh
cupcake: um
cupcake: yeah were reaaaal close he hates your guts
luka stan: he kissed me!
cupcake: that was a horrible mistake on his part and he hated it
luka stan: whys he in my dms then
cupcake: you’re not helping your case
luka stan: yeah anyways he wants me so bad
cupcake: maybe he does who knows…
luka stan: WHAT
luka stan: open ur window
cupcake: excuse me
luka stan: IM COMING OVER
cupcake: EXCUSE ME
...
old ass gyaru meiko stan: i left for like 30 minutes
luka stan: i’m getting laid go away
old ass gyaru meiko stan: oh
#1 opp: …what
luka stan: yeah dhmu i’m a literal slut
#1 opp: oh
#1 opp: umm
#1 opp: yeah i don’t like either of you anymore
luka stan: cry abt it ur just mad
#1 opp: why would i be mad your getting laid...
luka stan: bro idk people have weird issues with jealously
pranks and chaos #2: im telling snape
luka stan: do it i dare you
Read by pranks and chaos #2, #1 opp, old ass gyaru meiko stan
work chat!!
pranks and chaos #2: hey snape!!!
luka stan: WHAT STOP II THOUGHT YOU WERE JK
pranks and chaos #2: im never jk
#1 nepotist (not really): Yes?
pranks and chaos #2: dazais getting freaky in the beauxbatons dorms rn
luka stan: NO IM NOT
#1 nepotist (not really): Excuse me?
pranks and chaos #2: yeah hes getting laid by some ginger
luka stan: I AM NOT.
cupcake: what
cupcake: yk i think id know if hes getting freaky with me given hes rolling around on the floor talking my ear off about hatsune miku
luka stan: exactly
pranks and chaos #2: proof??
cupcake: dazailiterallyrollingaroundonthefloorinchuuyasdorm.png
cupcake: yeah anyways i think id know
luka stan: trust im actually the rizzler we'll be getting freaky soon
cupcake: no we wont
#1 opp: go get freaky with chuuya nakahara since youre so in love with him
#1 opp: oh wait
luka stan: pansy.
#1 opp: he hates you! hahah
#1 opp: WHAT
luka stan: shit mb nothing nothing ahah
#1 opp: oh
#1 opp: trust
luka stan: trust...
pranks and chaos #2: tf
luka stan: nothing!!!
pranks and chaos #2: girl
luka stan: anyways SNAPE IGNORE HIM HES LYING
#1 nepotist (not really): I don't really care.
luka stan: wow snape doesnt care im getting freaky?? some dad fr...
#1 nepotist (not really): It's your choice.
luka stan: WHY ARE YOU TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY IM JK OMGGGGGGGGGGG
#1 nepotist (not really): Good.
luka stan: i swear
luka stan: why does chuuya nakahara get his own fan club why cant there be a osamu dazau fan club
cupcake: because hes cool and youre not
cupcake: also hells hounds is your fan club
luka stan: HES NOT COOL
cupcake: hes very cool
luka stan: hes hot not cool
cupcake: ill make sure to let him know you think so
luka stan: oh he knows. trust
cupcake: yeah he does
luka stan: <3
pranks and chaos #1: this tension feels oddly sexual
cupcake: it is
luka stan: it is
luka stan: jinx!!
cupcake: ew
#1 opp: i swear
#1 opp: im cringing
luka stan: shuiy up ur just jealous me and my bf are in love
cupcake: were not dating
luka stan: im not talking about you dipshit
luka stan: anyways we'll ve dating soon heh
cupcake: oh
cupcake: ok
luka stan: lol
#1 opp: when you guys actually get married pls invite me to the wedding
cupcake: you can be my best man but a girl
#1 opp: yay!!!!
luka stan: were gonna have to use the vows we used the first time we got married in the gc for nostagia
cupcake: bro didnt you start singing or smth
luka stan: i dont remmeber shtut uio
luka stan: I HAVE A HEADACHE IM LEAVING
cupcake: um
#1 opp: bye dazai 😇😇😇
Read by all