pansy finds out soukokus little secret, chuuya gets jumped, everyone harasses dazai because why not. also its halloween
mafia knowers
CANCELLED: guys i weny to snapes room to talk with him yesterday and he asked me about pm how 2 kms!!!1!!
gyaru lover: at least he finally brought it up
slut: right
slut: also dazai bae i needa talk to u
CANCELLED: DID YOU JUST CALL ME BAE 😍😍😍😍
slut: shut the fuck up.
slut: when is the next opportunity for me to see you i have smth we need to discuss
CANCELLED: tonight probably
slut: k
second in command: What did Professor Snape say?
CANCELLED: wait ok i can act it out
CANCELLED: ok so i went into his room like "omg hi snape!!! whats good"
CANCELLED: and he was like "problem child i have some things to ask you 😡😡" and i was like whaaat!!!
CANCELLED: AND SO HES LIKE "i know that you know i know about the port mafia, weve discussed it, i have some questions about your friend who works with you!!"
CANCELLED: AND I WAS LIKE WHAAAAT. STOP HELO ME
CANCELLED: and so he interrogated me and tried to get me to spill info!! so he can steal us away from pm!! i was like giiiiirl you really think mori is just gonna let me go. let US go. crazy fr.
slut: BYE
CANCELLED: yeah.. like thanks but its a very long shot
gyaru lover: thats wild
CANCELLED: guys do you think mori would give me up i wouldnt mind living with my little slug and snape until im 18
slut: ur his favorite so no
CANCELLED: dont remind me pls and thank you
second in command: Did he ask about the newspapers?
CANCELLED: HE DID ACTUALLY. LMFAOOO
CANCELLED: i refused to tell him stuff abt that too
slut: he probably hates you atp 💀💀 hes trying to help you and youre like nah...
CANCELLED: ehhhh if he hated me he wouldve stopped trying a long time ago!! hes one of the only teachers that have been on my side for the entirety of school
CANCELLED: along with pomfrey
slut: i wonder why
CANCELLED: yall think he has daddy issues
gyaru lover: WHERE DID THAT COME FROM??
CANCELLED: you too draco. ik you have daddy issues too
slut: dazai you used to have daddy issues too shut up
CANCELLED: my dad is dead lol
slut: thats why i said used, stupid
slut: anyways i dont have daddy issues!!!
CANCELLED: blaise do you have daddy issues
second in command: No.
CANCELLED: thats what i thought
CANCELLED: average shortie and blaise W yet aagain
slut: me and blaise r the best obviously
slut: blaise we should abandon dazai and be best friends instead
second in command: ?
slut: im joking...
CANCELLED: YOU BETTER BE JOKING GRRRRRRR
gyaru lover: why are you growling like a dog
CANCELLED: OK SHUT UP
CANCELLED: all day every day my tummy hurts
CANCELLED: i miss my luka stan era
slut: i miss my dazai's crush era fr
CANCELLED changed their name to luka stan
luka stan changed slut's name to dazai's husband
dazai's husband: ok bro.
luka stan: we are so back in the building!!
luka stan: wait i should give everyone new usernames
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hell's hounds
luka stan: guys im doing name reassignments
luka stan changed library dweller's name to the brains
luka stan changed jokes and tricks #1's name to pranks and chaos #1
luka stan changed jokes and tricks #1's name to pranks and chaos #2
luka stan changed freaky rat owner to women liker
luka stan changed bitch's name to #1 opp
luka stan changed gyaru lover's name to old ass man
luka stan changed second in command's name to the favorite
luka stan: is that everyone
luka stan: also happy halloween!!!
old ass man: WHY AM I OLD???
luka stan: bc ur hair is white
old ass man: its blonde.
luka stan: same difference lowkey
women liker: Why am I women liker
luka stan: i know what you are ronald weasley. that girl is ugly break up with her
woman liker: Lavender is not ugly
dazai's husband: she is
women liker: You don't even go here
dazai's husband: despite not wanting to admit this dazai has pretty good taste so shes probably ugly
the favorite: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
dazai's husband: ok buddy i thought we were friends
the favorite: We are friends.
dazai's husband: lets go 🤑🤑
luka stan: QUIT THIS MADNESS
#1 opp: why am i your opp were literally friends
luka stan: you wont catch me lacking
luka stan: cant let anyone know i fw you
luka stan: also bro holy crap dogs smell so bad
dazai's husband: youre literally a hater
luka stan: girlll youve never been in the kennel those things smell like SHIT
dazai's husband: YOURE JUST A HATER
luka stan: oi oi oi!! baka...
dazai's husband: ...
#1 opp: what
luka stan: guys waiy omg what if i snuck into this years yule ball
luka stan: its being held at beauxbatons right
dazai's husband: correct
luka stan: ok im sneaking in, nothing you guys can do abt it
old ass man: wild 😭😭
luka stan: ...did it just start raining
the brains: It did!
luka stan: I CANT LITERALLY HEAR IT IN THE CLUB ROOM UMMMM THIS ROOM IS SO FREAKY
luka stan: every day i find out more about this room against my will.
dazai's husband: me too
...
DMS: #1 opp -> luka stan
#1 opp: i saw the guy from the newspapers walking around our school.
luka stan: WHY ARE YOU UP??? IDC IF ITS HALLOWEEN AND YOU WANNA FIND CANDY OR WHATEVER
#1 opp: I THINK WE HAVE BIGGER PROBLEMS THAN THAT????
#1 opp: WHAT WAS HE DOING HERE
luka stan: prolly tryna stalk me or some weird shit
#1 opp: ...
#1 opp: dazai im gonna be SO fr with you right now is your husband the kid in the newspapers
luka stan: how did u come to that conclusion!!
#1 opp: i remember that picture he sent us
#1 opp: w/ the crepes
#1 opp: it cant be a coincidence that his hair is ginger, hes a bellefuck or however its spelled, AND he has brown eyes and freckles. they have to be the same person
#1 opp: and also we never saw his whole face, so he could easily also have a blue eye
luka stan: you wanna know smth pansy
luka stan: you can be pretty smart sometimes
#1 opp: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN
luka stan: out of all the people who suspected chuuya, i did NOT think it was going to be you.
#1 opp: ...
luka stan: so here, how abt this
luka stan: you tell anyone that theyre the same person, and ill kill you
luka stan: !!!
#1 opp: EXCUSE ME
luka stan: im srs btw
luka stan: just act like you dont know theyre the same person and itll all be good
#1 opp: why r u even trying to keep it a secret anyways
luka stan: because weve all been getting along so well and id be sad if the entire gc turned into chaos because of this
#1 opp: i guess yhats a valid reason
#1 opp: why are you friends with someone whos publicly harassing you though
luka stan: because theres no kids our age in yokohama, were kind of out of options
luka stan: so even tho we argue a lot we still are "friends"
#1 opp: thats kind of sad
#1 opp: i wont tell anyone then, dont worry
luka stan: pansy is so nice when she wants to be... 😢😢😢😢
#1 opp: SHUT UP
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DMS: luka stan -> dazai's husband
luka stan: so pansy found out you and the chuuya in the newspapers are the same person
dazai's husband: HOW
luka stan: she saw you walking around the school. HOW CARELESS ARE YOU LMFAOO
dazai's husband: I WAS TRYING TO FIND YOUR STUPID FUCKING GANG ROOM I CANT APPARATE DIRECTLY IN IT
luka stan: WHATEVER ANYWAYS
luka stan: i guilt tripped her into not telling anyone
dazai's husband: ...bye 💀💀
luka stan: yeah HELP
luka stan: screenshot.literallytheentireconvobetweenthemimnotwritingallatagain
dazai's husband: WILD
dazai's husband: i mean at least she isnt telling anyone
luka stan: right 😭😭
dazai's husband: ....
dazai's husband: bruuuuuuh why is she dming me bye
luka stan: LMFAOO WHAT
dazai's husband: ill be back..
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DMS: #1 opp -> dazai's husband
#1 opp: dazai probably told you but i know who you are
#1 opp: if you ever run out of shit to say about him message me i have plenty
dazai's husband: LMFAOOOO THANKS BRO 🙏🙏
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DMS: luka stan -> dazai's husband
dazai's husband: "if you ever run out of shit to say about him message me i have plenty"
luka stan: SHES SO MEAN TO ME WAAAAUGH
dazai's husband: you deserve it
dazai's husband: now go to bed
luka stan: im not tired
luka stan: CHUUYAAAA
luka stan: COME BAAACK
Sent
hell's hounds
luka stan: good morning uk!!
the brains: Good morning Dazai!
luka stan: HOW ARE WE ON THIS FINE MORNING HERMIONE MY LOVE 😍😍
the brains: Great! How about you?
dazai's husband: I JUST GOT JUMPED???
luka stan: WHAAAAT
old ass man: HOW??
dazai's husband: DUUUUUUUDE I LITERALLY JUST GOT ATTACKED BY A RANDOM GROUP OF GIRLS FOR BEING RUDE TO
dazai's husband: wait i cant say this
luka stan: ...
luka stan: oh
luka stan: OH.
luka stan: LMFOAOAOOAOAOAOAO NO WAY???
#1 opp: wait
#1 opp: WAIT UMMMMMMM
dazai's husband: if youre thinking what i think ur thinking, then ur right
#1 opp: no way 😭😭
pranks and chaos #1: WAIT WHAT
pranks and chaos #2: you guys are excluding us 💔💔
dazai's husband: no its something only me and dazai were supposed to know but pansy found out about it
luka stan: anyways chewy chewy aaaaa can we be doomed yaoi for halloween
dazai's husband: go away i just got jumped over you.
luka stan: HOW IS THAT MY FAULT.
dazai's husband: BECAUSE YOU EXIST???
luka stan: its ok let me come over and kiss you to make up for it
dazai's husband: sure
luka stan: ???? ARE YOU OK WHAT THE FUCK
#1 opp: isnt this good for you dazai
luka stan: THIS ISNT YOU MY LITTLE BOO BOO BEAR!!! WHAT THE FLIP!!!
dazai's husband: MY FACE HURTS BROOOO LEAVE ME ALOINE. AND NEVER SAY THST SHIT TO EM AHGAIN
luka stan: HEL OME
dazai's husband: 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
luka stan: ok well is everyone else other than my husband doing alright!!!
the favorite: Yes, I think so.
luka stan: thats lovely!! ron did you break up with your gf yet
women liker: No
luka stan: DAMN IT
women liker: Why do you want me to break up with Lavender
dazai's husband: hes interested
luka stan: because i have a ship. and youre in it.
luka stan: ...
luka stan: SHUT UP
women liker: What's a ship
luka stan: ...
pranks and chaos #2: i ship dazai and his husband
luka stan: WHO TAUGHT YOU ABOUT SHIPPI
luka stan: wait i did
#1 opp: this is the second time. do you have memory problems dazai
luka stan: no kys
luka stan: anyways shipping as in a way like i want you to get with someone who isnt lavender
women liker: Why
luka stan: BECAUSE SHES ANNOYINGGGG SHE REMINDS ME TOO MUCH OF SOMEONE ELSE I HATE
luka stan: ANNOYING ASS CLINGY WOMEN
dazai's husband: ...are you talking about who i think youre talking about
luka stan: yes ❤️
dazai's husband: YOURE A FUCKING BITCH I LOVED HER SO MUCH
dazai's husband: MY SOUL SISTER 💔💔💔
dazai's husband: its your fault shes probably dead
luka stan: shes not deaaaad calm tf down
dazai's husband: all of them are probably dead.
luka stan: wild. i highly doubt that
luka stan: maybe
dazai's husband: FUCK YOU
luka stan: ok anyways ron your gf is a loser drop her and get with your day one
pranks and chaos #1: i agree
pranks and chaos #2: i second that
women liker: What
luka stan: hes brainless
dazai's husband: look whos talking
luka stan: WHAT??/
dazai's husband: omf 😭😭
luka stan: WHAT.
dazai's husband: nothing bro continue
dazai's husband: actually can i tell you guys a funny story about dazai
luka stan: no
women liker: Yes
the favorite: Sure.
the brains: Yeah!
luka stan: I HATE ALL OF YOU
luka stan changed the favorite's name to NOT the favorite
NOT the favorite: ?
luka stan: 😡😡
dazai's husband: anyways
dazai's husband: so you know how dazai crashed a car the other day
#1 opp: sadly
dazai's husband: so mori tried to teach us how to drive but it didnt end up working because dazai crashed every single one of the cars we were using. on purpose.
NOT the favorite: Why would you crash on purpose?
luka stan: i was trying to kill me, sluggy wuggy, and mori all at the same time in one fell swoop
#1 opp: of course you were
dazai's husband: yeah
dazai's husband: so hes actually banned from driving, ever
the brains: Then why was he driving the other night?
luka stan: chibi was drunk lol
dazai's husband: I WAS NOT.
luka stan: you literally were
luka stan: you told me i wasnt half bad and then fell asleep
dazai's husband: I WASNT DRUNK I WAS TIRED. AND THAT DOESNT EXCUSE THE FACT YOU TOOK MY SLEEPING BODY AND TOSSED IT IN A CAR SO YOU COULD DRIVE BACK TO YOUR SHITTY SCHOOL
luka stan: have done worse btw
dazai's husband: osamu
luka stan: OH MY GOD IM SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR EVERY WORD I HAVE EVER SPOKEN TO YOU OH GREAT VESSEL 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
#1 opp: LMAOOOOO
old ass man: thats insane
dazai's husband: thank you!! also DONT CALL ME THAT
luka stan: 🤕🤕🤕
#1 opp: bro is horrendously down bad
pranks and chaos #2: absolutely diabolical 😭😭
luka stan: YOU GUYS ARE SO MEAN??
pranks and chaos #1: sorry snakey we love you!!
luka stan: going back to snapes office to talk about this absolute betrayal.
luka stan: even tho i was there yesterday
luka stan: he loves me fr he wont care
#1 opp: watch him kick you out lol
luka stan: DIE
luka stan: IM LEAVING
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