chuuya is in love, hermione is angsty, dazai gets exposed, and mori pulls up (on accident) (NOT clickbait) (gone wrong)
hell's hounds
slut: heeeeey guys i have a question
library dweller: What is it?
slut: how do you get over someone
whore: WHAT
whore: WHO!!!!
slut: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS??? 💀💀 ITS SURE AS HELL NOT YOU
whore: heart been broke so many times dont know what to believe 💔💔💔
slut: shut the fuck up i will LITERALLY beat your ass
whore: you can do something else to my ass...
slut: ...
slut: youre done.
slut changed whore's name to CANCELLED
CANCELLED: WHAT DID I DOOOO
slut: WDYM WHAT DID I DO????? QUIT HARASSING ME.
slut: ANYWAYS.
slut: advice
jokes and tricks #1: you mean romantically?
jokes and tricks #2: ask hermione about that
library dweller: What!
jokes and tricks #2: yeah we all know
jokes and tricks #1: sorry hermione
library dweller: I don't know what you're talking about.
library dweller: Anyways, if you want to get over someone, try to imagine them in the most embarassing situations. You'll lose feelings quick. Or remind yourself that they're happy with whoever they're with, and that's good because you want them to be happy.
bitch: sounds like youre speaking from experience
library dweller: Please stop.
slut: no like i swear that wont work i am BEYOND cooked
slut: like i have seen this person do the most embarrassing and weird ass things and it doesnt even embarrass me. i cant even think its nasty anymore.
bitch: CRINGE
slut: SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH NO ONE LIKES YOU
bitch: wow rude
slut: 🖕🖕🖕🖕
library dweller: Well, there's no escaping it then. Just deal with it.
slut: helpful.
gyaru lover: share with the class who is this mystery person
slut: why the ever loving fuck would i tell you guys 💀💀💀
jokes and tricks #1: because were your friends!!!
slut: YOU DONT EVEN KNOW ME WHAT
jokes and tricks #2: dazai likes you so i like you
CANCELLED: @slut is this mysterious person taller than you with brown hair and bandages wrapped all around him
CANCELLED: and very handsome. and is named osamu dazai. and is the most charming partner on the face of the earth
CANCELLED: the one you just happen to be married to
slut: jesus your ego is HUGE i can barely breathe 😭😭
CANCELLED: its cuz ur small ❤️
slut: lucky for you jackass you like short guys
CANCELLED: WHAT AHAHHAH WHAAAAAAAAAAT I DO NOT!!!!
bitch: i think he likes short people guys...
slut: he might
CANCELLED: I DONT.
slut: you have a crush on a man!!!
CANCELLED: SHUT THE FUCK UP IM GOING TO JUMP OFF A BUILDING
slut: send me a vid when u do ill play it at ur funeral with clarity in the background
CANCELLED: mean. i dont want a funeral
slut: then ill toss you into a river?? idfk
second in command: Dazai, don't kill yourself.
CANCELLED: and to think i was going to invite you guys to yokohama
CANCELLED: not anymore you wouldnt approve of my weekend activities 😢😢😢😢🤕🤕🤕
jokes and tricks #2: NOOOO I WANT TO GO TO YOKOHAMA
slut: yall wouldnt even be let in the border be so fr 💀💀
bitch: why not
slut: because yokohama is closed off?? bye
CANCELLED: if madam pomfrey can do it so can they
slut: and I'M the one whos gonna get fired. then this is you
CANCELLED: dont tell mori
slut: sending him screenshots rn
slut: imagine the chaos that would pursue if we added mori in here
CANCELLED: please dont even JOKE about that holy shit i would rather never try to kms ever again 😭😭
second in command: Is he really that bad?
jokes and tricks #1: i bet hes worse than bad
jokes and tricks #2: add him in here and we'll show him whos boss!!!
slut: ...
CANCELLED: ...
slut: lol
gyaru lover: hes terrifying actually guys 😭😭
bitch: HOW DO YOU KNOW???
gyaru lover: IVE MET HIM???
bitch: HOW??
gyaru lover: my father and him are business partners or something
CANCELLED: ya 🤕🤕
gyaru lover: so yeah hes kind of scary
CANCELLED: try living with him your whole life 💀💀
slut: cant be worse than where i was
CANCELLED: lol.
slut: haha.
bitch: oh so you both had shitty childhoods
slut: why would you ever say that??? thats so rude to assume
CANCELLED: pop si cooooo pop pop si cooo pop si coooooo pop pop si cooooo
slut: WERE GETTING OUT OF THE LAB WITH THIS ONE 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊
CANCELLED: LMFAOOOOOO NO WAY
slut: ok guys SRS!!! I NEED HELP
freaky rat owner: With what
slut: getting over this person
jokes and tricks #2: tell them you love them and then depending on how they react tell them you were lying or something
slut: wow
slut: thats something dazai would do
CANCELLED: WOULD NOT.
𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴therins
CANCELLED: dont tell him i said this but i have done that before
gyaru lover: OK BUDDY.
hell's hounds
slut: OK SO YOURE A LIAR
second in command: I think Dazai's a pathological liar.
CANCELLED: ok rude (yeah)
gyaru lover: just kill them
slut: i wish
slut: id be murdered though
gyaru lover: why
slut: because they have other friends that actually want them alive??
jokes and tricks #1: uh...
gyaru lover: just kill their friends too
slut: wow!
CANCELLED: youd fit right in over in yokohama
bitch: tbh that doesnt sound like a good thing
CANCELLED: its a lovely thing >:((
CANCELLED: you know what else is lovely
CANCELLED: money
CANCELLED: DADDY CAN YOU HEAR ME AT AAAAAAAALLLL 🤕
CANCELLED: money money in the air 😫😫 money money everywhere🤑🤑🤑🤑
CANCELLED: daddy
CANCELLED: money
CANCELLED: DADDY!!
CANCELLED: MONEY!!!
slut: can you not. no one needs to know youre a theater kid
CANCELLED: in another universe im an actor guys
gyaru lover: im sure
bitch: what song even is that
CANCELLED: americans
CANCELLED: smh
second in command: Right.
CANCELLED: can we go back to the topic of americans
slut: we never left it?? fucking idiot
gyaru lover: yeah we didnt
CANCELLED: ok fuck you guys then. jeez lousie.
CANCELLED: ACTUALLY I HAVE SOMETHING BETTER TO TALK ABOUT SINCE WERE ALREADY ON THE TOPIC OF ROMANCE
CANCELLED: what do you do if you have a crush on two people
bitch: youre so obvious its insane
freaky rat owner: Who are they
bitch: ...IS THIS MF SLOW OR SOMETHING
CANCELLED: its really not THAT obvious
slut: yes it is. its me and blaise. its so obvious its genuinely painful.
CANCELLED: AND ITS YOUR FAULT???? BECAUSE YOU REFUUUUUSE TO REJECT ME LIKE A NORMAL PERSON
slut: THAT IS NO FUN THIS IS HILARIOUS
CANCELLED: 💔💔💔💔
second in command: I wasn't aware of this.
slut: ....ok you MIGHT be slow too
bitch: right
bitch: blaise ily but what
second in command: ??
jokes and tricks #2: fight to the death for dazai
jokes and tricks #1: yeah
CANCELLED: UMMMMM THATS AN UNFAIR FIGHT
slut: i usually would immediately say yes but unironically id wipe the floor with blaise without moving a single muscle, and i actually kind of like blaise so that wouldnt be nice
bitch: how powerful are you...
slut: i could probably destroy your whole school for fun if i wanted
bitch: UM??
gyaru lover: crazy
gyaru lover: are all you yokohamaians batshit crazy
CANCELLED: yokohamaians 💀💀💀😭😭😭
slut: its smth in the air
CANCELLED: well anyways guys in this very hypothetical scenario that is NOT true what would i do!!!
jokes and tricks #2: make them fight
CANCELLED: NO.
gyaru lover: date your husband you two actually live close to each other
slut: I DONT WANT THIS MF???
bitch: i refuse to let you near blaise sorry dazai
CANCELLED: YOU TWO ARE SO MEAN WHAR TGE FUCK
library dweller: Just date neither of them.
CANCELLED: ur so right
CANCELLED: can i just like kill both of you and like
CANCELLED: pretend you never existed
slut: just like how you killed
slut: im not saying that
CANCELLED: UM????
slut: sorry bae
gyaru lover: date me instead
bitch: what happened to hello
CANCELLED: HELLO??
CANCELLED: SAY LESS 😍😍😍😍😍😍
slut: dazai i wonder what mori would say if he founf out you like men
CANCELLED: with the way i was raised, its not even surprising
slut: ...
slut: ok do you really have to remind me of your tragic backstory every five seconds.
gyaru lover: how were you raised
CANCELLED: LIKE A NORMAL CHILD WOILD. 😍😍😍😍🔥🔥🔥🔥
slut: find a better coping mechanism
CANCELLED: than being gay??? thats homophobic
slut: NO DIPSHIT I MEANT THAN HUMOR ITS NOT FUNNY
CANCELLED: IT LITERALLY IS THOUGH.
bitch: who is this mori again i forgot
second in command: Dazai's guardian.
CANCELLED: ya hes a bitch
slut: screenshotted
CANCELLED: OK YOU LIIIIITERALLY AGREE
slut: OK ID NEVER SAY THAT OUT LOUD THO
CANCELLED: SHUUUUUT UP
slut: SUCK MY DICK BITCH
CANCELLED: time and place??
bitch: OK EW WHAT
slut: i will murder you and no one will find your body or any traces of your dna.
second in command: ????
slut removed CANCELLED from the group chat.
bitch: LMFAOO
slut: serves him right.... hes such a harasser fr
gyaru lover: wild
jokes and tricks #1: who here has admin and wants to add him back
bitch: me but i dont want to
slut: fiiiine i will
slut: later
slut: can we talk about the dazai effect
bitch: the what
slut: how almost everyone has started talking like dazai because of the things he says
gyaru lover: right hes rubbing off on me i hate it
bitch: me too fr
bitch: SEE
bitch: UGH
slut: dw me too bro
slut: anyways
slut added CANCELLED and Boss
CANCELLED: ...
CANCELLED: the dazai effect?? you mean the everybody wants me effect??
bitch: WHO THE FUCK IS BOSS 😭😭😭😭
CANCELLED: OH MY GOD IM
Boss: Hello?
slut: IM SORRY I MISCLICKEDDDD IM SORRRYYYYYYYYYYYY 💀💀💀💀💀
Boss: It's alright.
CANCELLED: hi mori... 🐬🐬🐬🐬🧚🧚🧚🧚🧚🧚🔥🔥🔥🔥
Boss: Hello, Osamu.
slut: hi!!!
Boss: Hello.
slut: bye mori see you later love u frfr!!!
Boss: Goodbye.
slut removed Boss
CANCELLED: he loves you too...
slut: nah thats only you
CANCELLED: foul as fuck.
CANCELLED: ANYWAYS YOU LITERALLYYYYY JINXED IT YOU FUCKING IDIOT
slut: IM ACTUALLY SO SORRY. SRS
gyaru lover: WAIT WAS THAT MORI??
slut: yeah
CANCELLED: about to kms im actually not supposed to have this chat
second in command: Why not?
Read by all
mafia knowers
CANCELLED: im not supposed to be overly buddy buddy with you guys
CANCELLED: like ever
CANCELLED: because mori has a stick up his ass!!!!!!
gyaru lover: is that why you never send letters
CANCELLED: ya... craaazy fr
gyaru lover: its ok dazai dont worry soon youll be 18 and youll be able to make your own decisions
CANCELLED: i dont think thatll work but thank you for the kind words draco
gyaru lover: ??
slut: kill him lol
CANCELLED: HELLO??
slut: I WAS JOOOOOKING
CANCELLED: valid take 😝😝😝
slut: wild
CANCELLED: YOU SUGGESTED IT??
second in command: It's alright, Dazai.
CANCELLED: 😢😢
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hell's hounds
bitch: WHY IS IT WHENEVER BLAISE ASKS A QUESTION YOU ALL RANDOMLY DISAPPEAR. WHAT ARE YOU HIDING
CANCELLED: IM JUST TELLING HIM THE ANSWER PREIVATELY JEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ
bitch: why though.
CANCELLED: BECAUSE I CAN???
jokes and tricks #1: its ok we know were not your favorite...
CANCELLED: are you trying to guilt trip me rn lol
CANCELLED: bc it is NOT working
slut: emo
CANCELLED: IM NOT EMO.
slut: pm needs some emos
CANCELLED: we have Q
slut: Q ISNT EMO???
CANCELLED: blaise join pm
slut: ok so just ignore me.
CANCELLED: SHHH
second in command: What's pm?
CANCELLED: ...blaise.
second in command: Oh, right. I think I'll pass? I don't know if my parents would approve of me moving away from here.
CANCELLED: BOOOO
slut: pansy join pm
bitch: WHAT IS PM BRO.
slut: my job
bitch: WHATS YOUR JOB.
slut: my job
bitch: ...
CANCELLED: its fun trust
slut: right!!! (it ruined my life)
CANCELLED: yeah!!! (me too)
bitch: i dont even know what it is so NO!!!
jokes and tricks #2: ill join
jokes and tricks #1: me too!!!
CANCELLED: ohhh were so up guys so many new pm babies
jokes and tricks #1: were older than you
CANCELLED: shh
slut: i have people to terrorize. goodnight chat
CANCELLED: wow ok.
CANCELLED: night ig...
library dweller: Goodnight!
second in command: Night.
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