publicly cancelling dazai, wizard racism, slime, and pansy officiates a wedding
hell's hounds (and pansy)
luka stan: i lowkey forgot that i actually let pansy become an official member sometimes
luka stan changed the group chat name from hell's hounds (and pansy) to hell's hounds.
hell's hounds
luka stan: all better!!! welcome officially to the club pansy my bestie
bitch: dont call me that you stinky loser
luka stan: meanie... guys i have a tummy ache!!
jokes and tricks #1: me too, whos this LOSERRRR in the newspapers talking shit on you?
luka stan: UM WHAT!!!
dazai's crush: send a pic im too lazy to get out of my bed to go find someone with a newspaper
jokes and tricks #2: ok
jokes and tricks #2:
dazai's crush: ## jumpscare
luka stan: DAMNNN HE CUTE
luka stan: joke. half joke. serious. joke.
dazai's crush: oh... bye
jokes and tricks #1: we wont stand for someone bullying our little snakey!! youve already got it rough in the newspapers... this is just gonna make it worse
bitch: wait actually
bitch replied to a message: DAMNNN HE CUTE: this is a valid take
dazai's crush: WHAT. 😭😭
luka stan: RIGHT?? I KNOW I HAVE GOOD TASTE YOU DONT HAVE TO TELL ME.
bitch: 🤑🤑
gyaru lover: i saw that
gyaru lover: do you know him? because if he lives in yokohama and claims to know you.. you probably know each other
luka stan: oh yeah i know him
dazai's crush: yeah me too
luka stan: lol
library dweller: I saw that too! Is what he's saying true?
luka stan: yeah!!
dazai's crush: i should go into the newspaper and do that too damn,,, i have so many things i could say about dazai
jokes and tricks #2: NO
jokes and tricks #1: WE ARE A DAZAI PROTECTION SQUAD
dazai's crush: right...
second in command: What's going on?
luka stan: ill tell u at breakfast
second in command: Alright.
luka stan: think if i told him id make out with him hed stop
dazai's crush: NO FUCKING KYS
luka stan: sniffles...
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mafia knowers
dazai's crush: draco this might be sudden but your father looks gay
gyaru lover: WHAT???
luka stan: LMFAO RIGHT
gyaru lover: UMMM ARE WE LOOKING AT THE SAME MAN
luka stan: he looks like he wants a man. with that lil bow in his hair smh he better oil up
dazai's crush: ...what.
luka stan: THAT WAS A JOKE IM SORRY
gyaru lover: NEVER SAY THAT AGAIN. EVER.
luka stan: IM SORRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
gyaru lover: i dont forgive you 😭
luka stan: harassment.
second in command: I wanted to ask, you two said you know the person in the newspaper?
luka stan: yauuuurrr
luka stan: sadly
second in command: Is there any way you can meet with them and ask them to stop?
luka stan: I DONT GO TO BEAUXBATONS???
dazai's crush: dont even look at me its not happening
dazai's crush: cant let gang know i fw dazai hate
luka stan: rip chibi you wouldve loved lockhearts "dueling" club
dazai's crush: do i even want to know.
gyaru lover: there was a club that prof lockheart made but it was really a "lets learn self defense so we can attack dazai" club
dazai's crush: ohhhh you told me about that wasnt that when you broke pansys arm or something
luka stan: ya it was so silly
second in command: It wasn't.
luka stan: it was tho
dazai's crush: u r so sick and twisted!!! sadist!!!
luka stan: WOAH. kinky lowkey
dazai's crush: UM???
gyaru lover: what.
second in command: Do you think before you text, Dazai? I mean this in the kindest way possible.
luka stan: yeah i type, read it over, giggle, and send it
dazai's crush: can confirm, he'll giggle and then send me weird shit while hes laying around in my apartment
luka stan: shhhh teehee
dazai's crush: ok bro 😭
second in command: You have an apartment? Aren't you our age?
dazai's crush: i THINK ur forgetting im in the mafia???
second in command: Right. Do you have an apartment too, Dazai?
luka stan: nah i just break into his all the time
gyaru lover: then where do you live
luka stan: no comment.
dazai's crush: nah...
gyaru lover: why
luka stan: NO COMMENT WE DONT TALK ABOUT IT
dazai's crush: hes a lil embarrassed about his living situation guys leave him be 🥺🥺
luka stan: its comfy wdym
dazai's crush: either youre being deadass or youre lying because theres no way
luka stan: isnt that how telling people things works
dazai's crush: OK FUCK YOU
luka stan: yeah... fuck me....
gyaru lover: what. the. fuck.
dazai's crush: i regret my life choices daily
second in command: My life would certainly less boring without Dazai.
gyaru lover: hate to say it, but i agree
luka stan: awwwww my group of pretty men love yall fr
gyaru lover: WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME
dazai's crush: why do we get assaulted by dazai on the daily holy shit 😭😭
second in command: Thanks, Dazai.
luka stan: blaise this is why youre my favorite
luka stan: you match my 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴
second in command: Nice.
luka stan: be more enthusiastic blaise being my favorite is a role not everyone has
gyaru lover: thats kind of the point of favorites yk
luka stan: shhhh
second in command: Nice!
luka stan: SEEEE THATS THE SPIRIT
dazai's crush: im gonna jump if you use that font one more time btw dazai
luka stan: double suicide?
dazai's crush: NO
luka stan: see you dont match my 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴
dazai's crush: aaaand im jumping now. bye guys
luka stan: bye love u!!!
dazai's crush: ew
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hell's hounds
luka stan: my tummy still hurts
dazai's crush: good to know. theres people rioting against you over here
luka stan: BYE
freaky rat owner: I know Dazai killed someone but the news has it wrong
luka stan: right im practically an angel
dazai's crush: "i will kidnap your whole family and skin them alive in front of you if you fail this, by the way."
dazai's crush: direct quote from dazai btw
library dweller: Um???
luka stan: thats soooooo out of context boooooo tomatoes
bitch: DUDE??
luka stan: ITS OUT OF CONTEXT!!!
bitch: I DONT THINK THAT REALLY NEEDS CONTEXT???
luka stan: YES IT DOES
dazai's crush: dazai, sweetheart, the context would make it worse
luka stan: omg did you just call me sweetheart
luka stan: heart eyes
luka stan: giggling and kicking my feet
dazai's crush: ew
luka stan: we should get married!!!
dazai's crush: NO.
bitch: ill officiate the wedding!!
luka stan: WHAT HELO
bitch: ahem
bitch: today we gather here to celebrate the wedding between osamu dazai and umm
bitch: his crush
luka stan: QUIT THIS MADNESS
bitch: EXCUSE ME MISTER GROOM NO TALKING WHILE THE OFFICIANT IS TALKING
library dweller: 😭😭😭
luka stan: OK FUCK YOU
bitch: AHEM ANYWAYS.
bitch: we gather here for their wedding who wants to say vows
dazai's crush: me
bitch: alright then groom #2 say your vows
dazai's crush: im marrying you for tax purposes
dazai's crush: the end
bitch: ...ok dazai your turn
luka stan: IM GONNA MARRY HER ANYWAYSSSS MARRY THAT GIRLLLL MARRY HER ANYWAYS
luka stan: except a male
luka stan: uhhhhhh how do people even do this
luka stan: i love u and promise to never let another loser man steal u from me trusst
luka stan: love you fiancé!!!
dazai's crush: bye
bitch: wow ok then.
bitch: you may now kiss each other i guess
luka stan: PUCKER UP BABY BOY 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘💏💏💏
dazai's crush: EW WTF LMFAOOO
dazai's crush: IM GONNA PUKE
library dweller: Congratulations!!!
freaky rat owner: I'm clapping for you
jokes and tricks #2: 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
jokes and tricks #1: 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
second in command: 👏
gyaru lover: 👏👏👏 i guess
bitch: 👏👏👏👏👏👏
luka stan: bye this is so odd wtf guys.
bitch changed luka stan's name to luka stan (married to dazai's husband)
bitch changed dazai's crush's name to dazai's husband (married to luka stan)
dazai's husband (married to luka stan): ARE YOU CRAZY
bitch: congratulations!!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺
luka stan (married to dazai's husband): IM KILLING MYSELF NOW THANKS
gyaru lover: well. lots of things have happened today.
freaky rat owner: Right
jokes and tricks #2: that means we have an excuse to meet dazais new husband in person!!!
dazai's husband (married to luka stan): STOP IT.
bitch: anyone else want to get married while were at it.
library dweller: I think we're pretty good.
luka stan (married to dazai's husband): hermione and draco should get married bc theyre both smartasses
luka stan (married to dazai's husband): actually sorry hermione i wouldnt put you through that
gyaru lover: WHAT
library dweller: Genuinely, I would rather never go to the library again than marry Malfoy.
luka stan (married to dazai's husband): DAMNNNN THIS IS SERIOUS
luka stan (married to dazai's husband): HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS DRACO.
gyaru lover: I DONT CARE I DONT WANT TO MARRY A MUDBLOOD ANYWAY
luka stan (married to dazai's husband): CAN YOU NOOOOT WITH THE BLATANT WIZARD RACISM LITERALLY MAJORITY OF US ARENT PURE BLOODS
bitch: hey dazais husband are you a pureblood
dazai's husband (married to luka stan): girl
dazai's husband (married to luka stan): hell no
bitch: oh...
luka stan (married to dazai's husband): pansy dont diss my husband.
bitch: im regretting wedding you two
luka stan (married to dazai's husband): good.... i live to make people regret their decisions, as ive said many times before
second in command: Dazai, I seriously think something is wrong with your owl. She just pooped on my shoe.
luka stan (married to dazai's husband): HELP ME OMF/
luka stan (married to dazai's husband): dude wtf is up with her im giggling.
dazai's husband (married to luka stan): did she eat that slime u bought
luka stan (married to dazai's husband): wait ur so right i was looking for that.
bitch: slime???
luka stan (married to dazai's husband): YOU DONT UNDERSTANDDDD THERES THESE PEOPLE WHO MAKE THIS SLIME AND IT LOOKS EDIBLE AND I BOUGHT SOME AND OH MY GYAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH IT SMELLED SO GOOD I LITERALLY ALMOST DIED
luka stan (married to dazai's husband): and then i lost it so maybe featherbrain was like "wow this smells niiiiiice" and tried to eat it and now shes shitting everywhere
library dweller: I used to try and make slime when I was little.
gyaru lover: idk what that even is???
dazai's husband (married to luka stan): look it up its actually pretty cool
luka stan (married to dazai's husband): OH MY GOD GUYS CAN WE ALL GO TO THE CLUB ROOM AND MAKE SLIME!!!!!
dazai's husband (married to luka stan): without me???//// your literal husband?? wow...
luka stan (married to dazai's husband): well then get ur cute ass iver here...!!
dazai's husband (married to luka stan): oh... yeah nevermind
bitch: 💀
luka stan (married to dazai's husband): ok guys lets do this img onna go find glue and glitter and maybe go steal flowers from snapes classroom
freaky rat owner: Why do you need flowers
jokes and tricks #2: to make it smell good!!!
jokes and tricks #1: duh!!!
luka stan (married to dazai's husband): RIGHT
luka stan (married to dazai's husband): give me like... 10 minutes.
second in command: Alright then.
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