dazai decides its a lovely idea to make a work chat
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )) made a group chat.
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )) changed the group chat name to work chat!!
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )) added Blaise, Draco, Fred, George, and 7 more.
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )) changed 11 names.
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )) removed french hoe.
work chat!!
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): well.
library dweller: What is this?
jokes and tricks #1: WOAH
jokes and tricks #2: i thought i was about to die the way my entire hand started vibrating from this thing merlin’s beard dazai
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): whoops! sorry gang ⊂((・▽・))⊃
library dweller: Who is “#1 nepotist (not really)”??
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): take a gander
won’t associate with me: TAKE A GANDER??? WHAT IS THIS THE 1900S??
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): OK SCREW YOU SORRY I HAVE A EXPANSIVE VOCABULARY
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): anyways
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): it’s snape
library dweller: Why would Professor Snape be a nepotist?
jokes and tricks #2: snakey professor snape is your dad real
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): HES NOT MY DAD I WILL LITERALLY KILL YOU
#1 nepotist (not really): What is this.
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): oh
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): ummmm
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): hi snape!!
#1 nepotist (not really): Hello, problem child. What is this.
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): only the best group chat with all the AMAZING teachers and my friends and pansy
bitch: fuck you
bitch: whys my name bitch
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): TAKE A GUESS LMFAOOOO 💀💀💀💀
#1 nepotist (not really): Both of you, watch your language.
bitch: THIS ISNT FAIR. YOU HAVE YOUR DAD ON YOUR SIDE
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): HE IS LITERALLY NOT MY DAD YOU CUNT
bitch: WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): shit i’ve been hanging out with the french too much
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): anyways!
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): this is very fair wdym
wont associate with me: what does wdym mean
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): what do you mean
won’t associate with me: I MEAN WHAT DOES WDYM MEAN
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): WHAT DO YOU MEAN.
won’t associate with me: HOLY SHIT. JUST TELL ME???
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): IT MEANS WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DUMB FUCK
won’t associate with me: oh
won’t associate with me: thanks i guess
bitch: don’t be rude to draco you freak
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): whatever
bitch: this still isn’t fair
bitch: there’s no one on my side here
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): sucks for you
bitch added Gildroy Lockheart.
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): NO.
jokes and tricks #1: anyone but him.
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): id rather be locked in a room with quirrell
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): and last time that happened he tried to murder me
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): or kidnap me maybe
Gildroy Lockheart: Hello students!!! And demon.
#1 nepotist (not really): Gildroy.
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )) changed Gildroy Lockheart’s name to my ego is bigger than my ass
won’t associate with me: DAZAI.
jokes and tricks #1: that name is fitting
my ego is bigger than my ass: My ass is very nice. Almost as nice as my teeth.
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): you should be fired for cursing in front of students lockheart
bitch: you should be expelled for killing someone
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): water under the bridge
bitch: ???
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): anyways
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): everyone wake up
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): @everyone
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )):@everyone
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): @everyone
second in command: Hello?
freaky rat owner: What the hell
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): wow we’ve got two more!!
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )):@everyone
library dweller: Yes, Dazai?
jokes and tricks #1: PRESENT!!
jokes and tricks #2: AT YOUR SERVICE BOSS
won’t associate with me: wow
bitch: this is the stupidest thing i’ve ever done I’m losing brain cells
my ego is bigger than my ass: I’d have to say I agree, Bitch!
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): IM FCUKRGN CRYOGN
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): LMFAOJFWK NO WAY THIS IS SO FUNNY
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): PISSNBG
bitch: …
my ego is bigger than my ass: What?
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): you’re a fucking idiot
stalker: Watch your mouth, Mr. Dazai. And Gildroy, that is Miss Parkinson, I’m assuming.
#1 nepotist (not really): I need to be removed from this.
my ego is bigger than my ass: Oh, sorry! A true hero like me never gets names wrong! I sincerely apologize, madam.
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
the doctor who doesn’t make me uncomfortable (kind of): Hello everyone! What is this for?
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): work chat! (ﾉ´ з `)ノ
#1 nepotist (not really): This is FAR from a work chat.
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): how would you know you’ve never been in one
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): exactly…
#1 nepotist (not really): Problem Child.
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): what am i lying….
#1 nepotist (not really): Not about that. What is up with Poppy’s name?
#1 nepotist (not really): Is there something we need to talk about?
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): i would rather die
second in command: Dazai, to be honest, you’d rather die anyways.
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): ok that was rude!
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): who wants to NOT be mean to me
won’t associate with me: sorry dazai
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): ok then. goodbye ig.
bitch: what the fuck
#1 nepotist (not really): This is stupid.
stalker: Can everyone in this chat please say their name? I will read it off this.. list.
stalker: I think we all know which one Dazai is.
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): here!!
stalker: …Alright.
stalker: Who is “second in command”?
second in command: That would be me, Blaise Zabini.
stalker: An odd name choice, Mr. Zabini.
second in command: It was Dazai.
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): yeah i made everyone’s names im awesome right
second in command: You are.
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): 😍😍
stalker: Why am I named stalker then, Mr. Dazai?
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): because you stalk me?? why else
stalker: Alright then.
stalker: Are jokes and tricks #1 and #2 the Weasley twins?
jokes and tricks #2: of course not
jokes and tricks #1: why would you ever think that
stalker: Ok, so that’s a yes. Who is “library dweller”?
library dweller: Hermione Granger!
stalker: Makes sense. Who is “freaky rat owner”?
freaky rat owner: Ron Weasley
stalker: Do you own a… freaky rat, Mr. Weasley?
freaky rat owner: Angel isn’t freaky Dazai is just mean
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): watching you text without punctuation is so fun
#1 nepotist: You do not text with capitals or punctuation, problem child.
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): bc that’s the way i text
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): duhhh
stalker: I am going to refrain myself from cursing, who is Miss Parkinson? Assuming she’s in here, of course.
bitch: me.
stalker: Hm, alright. Dazai, calling your classmates names isn’t nice.
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): she flipped off our prefect i don’t really think she cares
bitch: ok shut up that was a secret
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): dude the entire infirmary saw it 😭😭
bitch: SHUT UP
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): booo tomatoes tomatoes i’m throwing them at you rn
stalker: Please stop. Who is “won’t associate with me”?
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): draco obviously
won’t associate with me: you really get a kick out of exposing me, huh
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): of course!! draco loves me sooo much right
won’t associate with me: not really
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): (ﾒ` ﾛ ´)
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): tomatoes for you too draco
stalker: And I’m assuming the other teachers in here are Severus and Poppy, and of course Gildroy.
#1 nepotist (not really): Sadly. I’m assuming you’re Minerva?
stalker: Yes. I don’t see the point of this.
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): it’s so all of my closest friends and foes can keep in contact with little old me over the summer! and now of course
#1 nepotist (not really): I’m pretty sure this isn’t allowed.
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): shhhh no one has to know babygirl… it can be our little secret
jokes and tricks #1: DAZAI???
bitch: WHAT THE FUCK
library dweller: Dazai 😭😭
won’t associate with me: merlin’s beard. NEVER say that again dazai
#1 nepotist (not really): Problem child, do not call me “babygirl.” I am not your baby girl. I am your professor.
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): old habits
jokes and tricks #2: who are you calling babygirl 😭😭
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): um
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): no one
jokes and tricks #1: snakey do you have something to tell us…
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): NO?? WHAT
jokes and tricks #2: do you have a girlfriend dazai…
jokes and tricks #1: OR A BOYFRIEND!!
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): WHAT
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): DUDE???
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): would rather die 🙅🙅🙅
bitch: why would he be dating someone. he can’t pull
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): are u sure abt that…
bitch: what’s that supposed to mean
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): i pull plenty you guys are just haters
bitch: i highly doubt it everyone’s scared of you
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): not here
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): away from here
bitch: are you lying
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): NO??
bitch: you sure?
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): come kiss me and find out if ur so curious ❤️❤️
bitch: EW.
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): noooo i’m feeling nice come kiss me pansy 😘😘😘😘
bitch: DUDE WHAT THE FUCK??
won’t associate with me: dazai 😭😭 merlin’s beard don’t say weird stuff like that
#1 nepotist (not really): Can we please refrain from flirting in the chat.
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): OHHH snape you haven’t deep dived into my lore i flirt with everyone
#1 nepotist (not really): Your lore?
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): uh yeah duhhh you’re not updated you know like nothing about me
#1 nepotist (not really): If you told me things, I’d know.
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): you’d tell on me and get me in trouble i bet 😢😢
#1 nepotist (not really): Only if it endangered you.
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): then yeah you’d rat on me for sure 😖😖😖🙅🙅🙅
#1 nepotist (not really): Dazai, have you continued your self destructive habits?
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): THIS DOES NOOOOOOT NEED TO BE IN A GROUP CHAT BRO
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): LALALALLALALAA I CANT HEAR YOU
#1 nepotist (not really): Just remember, my doors are always open.
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): will kms if one more person says that to me
bitch: my doors are open dazai!!
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): …
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): ok and goodbye if anyone wants to find me i’m hanging from that giant tree next to hagrids hut
stalker: ???
the doctor who doesn’t make me uncomfortable (kind of): Dazai, please don’t joke about those sort of things.
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): aaand it’s too late i’ve already got rope sayonara 😍😍
stalker: Someone go find him.
#1 nepotist (not really): On it.
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