Worriers.
Blaise felt his eyes lingering on the red spot on Dazai’s bandages, he wanted to bring it up to his friend, but he knew that he would either not answer him or get angry with him.
Also taking into consideration the fact that they weren’t in the gang room, so there was also the possibility of someone overhearing and telling a teacher, or even worse taking the situation into their own hands.
Blaise was conflicted, and he stayed that way till the end of potions, and since he was conflicted and constantly i. And out of thought.
It allowed Dazai to absolutely fuck up their potion, which earned them a class full of giggles and reprimanding from Snape.
Even to which were Snape asked Dazai to stay after class, though he didn’t ask Blaise to stay as well; So maybe it wasn’t because of their potion fuckup.
Maybe he knew, maybe he had also noticed Dazai’s bloodied bandages, noticed the extra layers, noticed the faraway look in his eyes when he saw him at breakfast.
Blaise let out a little sigh, relief slowly filling him, because even though he was Dazai’s second in command and best friend; he would admit that he didn’t really know how to deal with Dazai’s case.
Maybe Professor Snape would have a better chance?
____
The end of Potions quickly came after the whole debacle with Dazai and his funky potion.
And students filed out of the classroom until only Dazai remained.
“Sooooo, what did Snape want to talk to little old me about?” Snape heard Dazai say from behind him as he cleaned up from the class. “It couldn’t be about my potion, if it was you would have just given me detention! But you’ve been lenient today, why?” Dazai asks, curiosity and interest seeping into his tone.
“Professor Snape to you Mr. Dazai, and I suppose you’re right it isn’t about your awful potion.” Snape sighed and turned to face the boy, “Are you doing alright Mr. Dazai? You seemed and still seem slightly off.”
Dazai blinked up at his professor, “Whatever could you mean? I’m feeling so great right now!” He said with a smile, it felt slightly forced and Snape noticed that.
“Lies problem child, you need to learn how to express yourself.” Snape says with a sigh, the second of many, Mr. Dazai was always difficult to talk to.
“I know how to express myself! Like I express my want for a painless suicide all the time!” Dazai chirps as he tilts his head at Snape.
Snape makes a face at him and turns back to his cleaning, “Not exactly what I meant, and you know that.”
Dazai frowned, “Well, I was tired, but I skipped out on lunch to go get a quick nap! And now I’m all energized!” Dazai smiled through his lie.
Snape blinked, he had noticed that the boy was missing from lunch, but he didn’t think the reason was because he was tired, he had though at the time that maybe he was lost.
“Oh, really?” Snape said, testing him on his word.
“Yup! But sir, as much as I would love to stay and chat, I have a group of friends to entertain! So may I please be excused??” Dazai say kindly, batting his eyes at Snape.
Snape sighs for the third time, “I suppose you may, try to get more rest tonight Mr. Dazai.” Snape said in a defeated tone as he watched the boy scurry to his bag and dart out of the classroom, not before flashing a grin in his direction.
Only until five minutes later, did Snape realize that he had barely even talked with the boy; and had settled for the simple excuse of “I was tired.” He slapped his hand on his forehead with a groan.
Such an irritating child his problem child was.
_____
Dazai was surprised with how quickly he actually got Snape to believe such a half asses lie.
Usually it took a lot more manipulating for the man to finally believe him, but today, he supposes this was just another one of the things the professor was being lenient with.
Dazai wouldn’t complain about it though, because it meant that he had more energy to place into different interactions, whether it be with Blaise himself or just the Hells Hounds as a whole.
Speaking of Blaise, the boy was waiting outside the potions room.
“Aww Blaisee how kind of you to wait for me!” Dazai says with a smile, “I didn’t even ask you to, what a good second in command you are!”
Blaise smiles gently at Dazai, “I can’t have you getting lost throughout the hallways, the gang would be in shambles without you.”
Dazai chuckles “I suppose so! So can you take me to the gang room?” Dazai says as he rolls on his heels.
“Sure boss.” Blaise said and started to lead the way to the gang room.
_____
This would be the perfect opportunity to bring up Dazai’s bandages, hopefully no one was in the gang room waiting for them.
They turned down a couple halls and went up a few staircases, Blaise in front and Dazai dragging his feet a bit aways from him.
“Staircases shouldn’t have been invented makes my legs hurt.” Dazai whines.
Blaise glances back to look at him and slows down. “We’re almost at the gang room, you’ll be able to rest your legs soon Dazai.”
Dazai slowly catches up to Blaise “If you say so Blaise!” He says in a sing song tone.
A couple minutes later they arrived at the big door to the gang room, once they stepped inside Blaise looked around, there was no one in the gang room.
Which was perfect, though Blaise would wait a bit before dropping the question he had on his mind since potions.
Blaise waited until they had both been sitting on the couch for a couple minutes, the silence was slightly awkward so Blaise felt it was the right time to finally ask his question.
“Dazai.” He said as he turned to his bandaged friend.
“Yea Blaise?” Dazai turned to him now, dazai staring at him with his one auburn eye.
Blaise looked down at Dazai’s bandaged arms. “Why..why are your bandages bloody Dazai? Are you okay?” Blaise said, concern dripping in his tone and shining in his eyes.
Dazai was startled, but quickly covered it. “Didn’t Blaise know I’m an artist? I was just fooling around earlier today and I guess I got some on my bandages!” Dazai responded.
Blaise frowned and his gaze hardened. “You can be honest with me Dazai, you can trust me, what’s going on with you? First it was breakfast, then Lockhart’s and now you’re magically fine? Sorry boss, but I call absolute bullshit.”
Dazai’s gaze hardens as well, “I do trust you Blaise, I just…nothing’s wrong with me!” He says again trying to convince the boy next to him that he was fine, and slightly even convince himself.
Dazai’s hands started shaking, so Blaise took them in his own, Dazai’s hands were cold so Blaise brought them to his lips to warm them up with his breath. (Idk why but i feel so weird writing this part ngl it feels so cringey 😬 I am so sorry.)
Dazai’s eyes widened at the gesture and tried to pull his hands away but Blaise had them in a firm grip, eventually Dazai stopped struggling and Blaise loosened his grip.
“Thanks..” Dazai mutters under his breath when Blaise finally brings his hands down from his lips.
“No problem.” Blaise smiles gently at Dazai taking in his expression, it wasn’t as closed off as it was, was the key to Dazai’s heart touch? Who knows, but Blaise would store that information for later on.
“Do you want to tell me what’s going on now? And why your bandages have, blood stains on them?” Blaise asks as he tilts his head to meet his gaze with Dazai’s.
“I just…accidentally did something.” Dazai replied in a quiet voice.
“Did what?” Blaise presses on, seeing as he is finally getting answers from his friend.
“Like you know..not good stuff.” Dazai lowers his gaze and doesn’t elaborate or look like he plans on doing so.
Blaise thinks over what he could mean, trying to find any logical reason that didn’t lead to his initial thought: Self harm.
Though no other reason came to be, and Blaise didn’t know how to address it, so he settled for saying.
“Can I see?” Blaise says as he squeezes Dazai’s hands gently to get his friend to look up at him.
Dazai looked up slowly at him, and he looked uncomfortable, extremely uncomfortable; but in the end he doesn’t really deny him.
“If Blaise wants to..then who am I going to be to try and stop him?” Dazai says quietly.
Blaise looks from his eye to his bandaged arms, “Are you sure?” He asks for confirmation, to which he gets a slight nod.
He lets go of Dazai’s hand after giving them one final squeeze and moves to his wrists, gently pushing his robes sleeves up so they didn’t get in the way.
Blaise slowly started to unwrap the bandages on his arms, and he looked up at dazai for slight confirmation that he could continue, because this situation felt strangely intimate; Like what was under Dazai’s bandages wasn’t supposed to be seen by anyone, much less Blaise.
When the bandages were finally off of his arms was when his stomach dropped, angry red lines criss crossing and over lapping over his arms confirmed his suspicions.
Dazai was and had been actively harming himself, the thought made him sick, but also worried and sad and afraid for; not himself, but Dazai. Why did he do this to himself?
“…why?” Was all Blaise could manage to say into the silence, and he received no reply except for a shrug and a blink of an eye.
Blaise sighed as the pads of his fingers traced the scars, being careful of the angry red lines. He felt so bad for not noticing his behavior sooner, he was to blame for it all if he had noticed he could have helped but he didn’t.
He was useless and had failed as Dazai’s second in command.
“..It isn’t Blaise’s fault..” Dazai said quietly, voice slightly cracking because of how long he had kept his silence. “I started doing this long before my time at Hogwarts, and I didn’t want you or anyone to know, so don’t blame yourself.” Dazai continued as he looked up at Blaise.
“I-…you..you can’t put these bandages back on, you’ll get the cuts infected.” Blaise says worriedly, then he realizes they’re a fucking magical room, he could get whatever he needed from it.
“It’s fine, it really doesn’t matter that much-…” Dazai starts to speak but he falls silent as the whisperings of magic fill his senses, and next thing he knows; Blaise has a first aid kit and it gently cleaning his cuts with an alcohol wipe.
Dazai winces softly to which Blaise says “Sorry, I’ll be quick with it.”
Dazai nods his head and shuts his eye, letting himself relax as Blaise cleans his cuts with gentleness and care.
A few minutes pass and the smell of disinfectant slowly fades from the room and Dazai is stirred by the sound of a band-aid being opened, Dazai cracks his eye open to see Blaise start to strategically place band-aids, wait no Hello Kitty band-aids on his cuts.
“Hello Kitty?” Dazai mumbles as he shifts slightly. “I didn’t know Blaise knows about Hello Kitty.”
“I don’t, it’s just what the room supplied me with.” He replies with a smile.
“Sure sure, the magical room just so happens to run out of normal band-aids, how surprising.” Dazai says with a roll of his eye.
Blaise chuckles at that, “I guess so, just roll with it, I’ll wrap bandages over your arms after, I just feel that you need the extra protection of Hello Kitty right now.”
Dazai giggles at that, “Hello Kitty, my cat in shining armor has come to cover my scars. How wonderful.”
Blaise giggles as well and they go back and forth like that for a while, giggling and cracking jokes while Blaise bandages Dazai up.
It went fairly smoother than Blaise could have ever hoped for, he was quite proud of himself. As he should be though, dealing with Dazai wasn’t easy, but he found ways to make it work, because he cared for his best friend, and he hopes others can learn to as well.