Traitor

    Sirius' brain felt like it'd been scrambled like an egg, and for the second time that day, he woke up confused and in pain, although he felt significantly worse this time around. Opening his eyes only made him more confused, an old memory resurfacing and blending with the present; a familiar spasm in his limbs, the dark wood of the drawing room slick and shiny with his blood, and an urgent, quiet but panicked voice from somewhere next to him. It took him much longer than it should have for his brain to catch up. Sirius was not 16 anymore, his mother hadn't just crucio'd him, and he hadn't lived in Grimmauld for years. But he had been crucio'd, he could feel the evidence of it in the heaviness and uncontrollable tremble that plagued every muscle. Regulus had used the cruciatus curse on him.

    "Sirius? Sirius?" The voice whispered, cracked open with fear, a hand shaking his shoulder hard. He groaned at the movement, sparks of pain shooting down his arm where the hand gripped him, blunt nails digging into the soft flesh slightly. 

    Sirius tried to bat away the offensive hand in a quickly aborted motion, but finding it too painful to move, he only groaned again. Blinking his eyes open, Sirius took in his surroundings lazily, skirting around the empty room, gaze eventually landing on the mess Bellatrix had made of his arm. He remembered the sickening feeling of her dagger carving, digging into the bony part of his forearm, the wound stretching from his wrist to halfway up his elbow. Nausea crawled up his throat, the memory of the sharp tip of the knife scraping bone made him scrunch his eyes closed again, stomach rolling every time the wound pulsated.

    The insistent hand shook him again, and the blurry sight of his brother's face came into view just over him, his pale face was strained like it was taking everything inside of him to keep it together, intense grey eyes agonized, and his pupils blown wide with obvious distress, so different from the bored look they usually held.  

    "Reggie?" Sirius mumbled, raising his head slightly to get a better look at his brother, wanting to comfort him, to reassure Regulus that he was okay. Which was an obvious lie, but well, it's just what older siblings do, they try to make everything alright again, even when the world around them is crumbling. 

   His eyes began to fill with black spots, keeping them open was taking most of his focus. Just when he managed to open his mouth to speak again, the little strength remaining failed, and Sirius’ head began tipping back to the floor on its own, a hand sliding under his head cushioned the fall before it could hit the floor.

    "Just stay still, help is coming, okay? I- I sent a message to James and Remus, they're coming to get you out of here. Je suis désolé, je suis tellement désolé, I didn't have a choice, Bella would've killed us both if I didn't help her hurt you," The words tumbled out of Regulus' mouth rapidly, his lips trembling around them like they hurt to utter, though his eyes remained dry, intent upon him and pained. 

    Sirius could hardly keep up as the frantic words blended together in his mind and passed through his ears without significant meaning. All he knew was that everything hurt and Regulus was scared. But Sirius was too weak to move, unable to make it better and not wishing to see that brokenhearted look on Regulus' face anymore, he closed his eyes to the sound of his little brother cursing in French and whispering spells that made some of the pain ebb away.

    Bellatrix had left not long after Regulus cursed Sirius, seemingly content that Regulus was doing his duty to their cause. If only she knew what was coming. The hastily made plan he made was borderline suicidal, but then again, his entire occupation was as well. Regulus knew it was unlikely for them to make it out unscathed, but he only needed Sirius and his friends to get out, the rest he could handle, as long as they were safe.

   He muttered a couple healing spells over some of the less visible cuts to hopefully help with some of Sirius' pain, it looked like Bellatrix had put him through a cheese grater, his clothes shredded and his skin slashed dozens of times. It would be suspicious if he healed Sirius too much, but Regulus couldn't help but try anyway, knowing the guilt of what he had done would haunt him longer than anything else he'd ever done. 

    At some point, Sirius had passed out, which was really for the better, despite the discomfort that pressed against his ribs at the sickly color of his brother’s skin. If Bellatrix came to check on them, it would look as if Regulus tortured him into unconsciousness. He exhaled slowly, closing his eyes as he willed himself to shove all his feelings back into their locked boxes, burying them deep within himself, unclenching his fists, and painfully reconstructing the cold mask of the unaffected Black heir. Regulus stood up and dusted off his robes, forcing himself to rip his gaze away from Sirius and stepped out of the drawing room.

~

    "This feels like a bad idea," James said under his breath, bunched up under the invisibility cloak, leading the way with Remus at his back as they walked nearer to the servant's entrance Regulus mentioned, "I mean, I'll do anything to get him out, but we should've told someone. Moody or Dumbledore-"

     "They would've stopped us and Sirius would be stuck there alone," Remus interrupted sharply, as they walked carefully through the gardens, a quietus charm on their feet to silence their steps as they kept their voices as low as possible. Remus couldn't stop the shudder that ran through him at the thought of Sirius being dragged back into the very place he'd nearly lost everything to escape from.

    Out of all of them, Remus seemed to resent Dumbledore the most, the wide-eyed awe he used to look at the man with had changed quickly as he watched the amount of Order members dwindle over time. His friends, his chosen family, going missing, murdered on missions if not gravely injured. Children recruited for war straight out of Hogwarts, and used as the first line of defense in an endless battle they were hardly qualified to fight, while Dumbledore dictated who lived and died from the safety of his office.

    James sighed but didn't protest, he knew Remus was just worried about Sirius, he was too, but he was also terrified for Regulus. Regulus, who was risking everything to get his brother out a second time, this time with much higher stakes. He’d been wracking his brain for ways he could possibly protect Regulus, but he couldn’t come up with one. Not without blowing the whole operation. He helplessly wished his parents were there, somebody to take charge, he felt like they were kids playing soldier but all of their lives really were on the line. They were kids but the war was real, the amount of friends that have died was real. 

    They approached the side door quietly, James reaching out to try the knob and finding it unlocked for them, the occupants undoubtedly made aware that someone had entered through the wards already. He glanced back at Remus and nodded, both raising their wands, unsure what they would be walking into. The door creaked slightly as it swung open, revealing Regulus Black, sitting at the kitchen table with the Prophet set in front of him, moving his finger in a circle over his teacup lazily as it stirred itself, his posture casual and relaxed. 

    He flicked his eyes up toward the open door silently, his expression not moving an inch, even though he could see nothing while they were still under the cloak. James' heart stuttered in his chest as his eyes raked over Regulus' face. Not many people could tell when Regulus was upset, to most, he held the same calm if not cold and haughty demeanor at all times. While his face betrayed nothing unless he wished it to, most people didn't know to look at his eyes to find the emotions that simmered there, but James did.

    He could see it all there, the traces of fear and deep grief, the burning rage, and ever-present self-loathing. James wished he could wrap Regulus up and take him away from here, this evil place with these vile people who demanded so much of him. The Blacks are leeches, they take and take with no remorse, James has watched them suck Sirius dry since he was 11. Watched his friend come back from summer and winter break hollowed out and a shadow of himself, it would James weeks to bring him back to his full self again, to revitalize him. It is no different with Regulus, except that there is no escape for him, he chose this as well as had no true choice at all. He somehow finds a way to love his family even when all they do is take from him. But that’s always been Regulus’ problem, he’d give anything to be loved in return.  

    Regulus stood from the table, walking to the doorway of the kitchen to look out into the next room, and after double-checking to see that they were alone, he walked toward the two invisible boys, holding his hand out cautiously until it brushed the soft fabric of the invisibility cloak. 

    "James?" He whispered, his voice full of tentative hope and something darker, something more resigned that made James uneasy.

    "We're here, love," James whispered back, reaching out to grab his hand through the cloak. Their palms met with only the thin fabric to separate them, but Regulus could feel the warmth of it. The small bit of contact made him shudder, the piece of his heart that belonged to James singing, not alone, we’re not alone anymore.  

    Regulus nodded, swallowing thickly, choking back the tears that threatened to wet his eyes.

   "Kreacher!" He called.

    The house elf apparated into the room with a pop, a perpetual frown on his wrinkly face that looked even more displeased than normal. Regulus had given him the barest details of his plan when he adjusted the wards to allow James and Remus to see the house, and though Kreacher was as much of a blood purist as any Black (minus Sirius and Regulus), his loyalty to Regulus was stronger than those beliefs. 

   The elf bowed deeply before speaking, "What is Master Regulus needing of Kreacher, sir?" 

    "You're going to apparate James and Remus to the drawing room while I distract Bellatrix, and then when I tell you, you're going to make sure they get out of here," Regulus ordered, guiding James' invisible hand to hold Kreacher's. 

    "Reg-" James started, though he had no idea what to say. Please leave with us? Don't get yourself killed? Please don't make me choose between saving Sirius and losing you? The words sat thickly between them, James’ helpless optimism and Regulus’ hopeless pessimism at war with each other. James always fighting to save him, Regulus always resigned to survive but not fight. 

     "I'll come get you in a few minutes, and tell you the rest of the plan then. Trust me, I know what I'm doing," He interrupted, it was a blatant lie, but they didn't have time to talk over the details of this psychotic plan. Regulus opened his mouth to say something else when a grating voice yelled from somewhere in the house, footsteps sounding closer to the kitchen, 

    "Reggie! Who came through the wards?" 

    "Go now, I'll keep her busy," He urged, pulling out his wand and turning away from them as Kreacher apparated them upstairs. Regulus made a show of looking out the window, a confused look on his face and wand drawn.

   Bellatrix entered the room seconds after they disappeared, looking around the room curiously, "I heard the wards go off," she said, eyes landing on his cup of tea abandoned on the table and Regulus' stance facing the garden.

    Regulus nodded, turning to face her with a raised eyebrow, "I wasn't expecting anyone, were you?" When Bellatrix shook her head looking confused, he continued, "I thought as much, I heard someone apparate into the back garden, but I'm not sure how they were able to make it past the wards,"

    "You think it's the spy the Dark Lord mentioned? Has to be someone keyed in, nobody else would be able to find us," Bellatrix asked, her lips pulled back in a sly grin, always hoping for an opportunity to spill some blood. 

    Only the Dark Lord's inner circle was aware of a potential spy, though nothing had been confirmed, several low-level Death Eaters had been tortured at Lucius' hand for being suspected of passing information. Regulus took immense pleasure in knowing that Voldemort had no idea who it was, watching Voldemort become restless and hostile when their missions failed or were intercepted before they could be carried out. 

    "Let's find out, will you take the garden and the bottom floor? I'd like to check the top floors in case they somehow made it inside," He responded, brushing past her without waiting for her response. As he expected, Bellatrix agreed eagerly and drew her wand from where she had stuck it in the messy updo she had, wild black curls tumbling down her back, and making her way to the door. Now for the next part of the plan, which he was admittedly, terrified for. Regulus was going to start a fight with his friends.

~

    They landed in the middle of the drawing-room, obviously not used very much as it was void of furniture, with cobwebs clinging in the corners on the deep green wallpaper with black trim, a grand fireplace, and an elegant, dusty crystal chandelier hanging from the ceiling. The invisibility cloak slid to the floor as Remus and James rushed toward the unconscious figure sprawled on the floor. Sirius was nearly unrecognizable, his black curly hair was matted and tangled around his collarbone, and bruises bloomed across his face in various disturbing shades accompanied by swollen eyes, one of them almost swelled shut entirely. He was also covered in blood and slashes that were clean-cut and clearly done by a wand. 

    Remus knelt by his boyfriend, taking in his appearance with a deep breath that shook when he exhaled, as James stood between the pair of them and the door with a white-knuckled grip on his wand as he pointed at it, stealing worried glances over his shoulder at them every now and then. 

    "Pads?" Remus breathed, reaching out to carefully turn Sirius' head so they were face to face, fingers ghosting over the colorful bruises. "Open your eyes, sweetheart," He could hear the struggle in Sirius' labored breaths, every inhale rattling loudly in his chest. "Padfoot," Remus said firmly, tapping his cheek this time in an effort to rouse him.

    Sirius flinched though he wasn't hit hard, and the motion forced him to take a sharp breath, the burning pain bringing him to full wakefulness at once. He expected to see Regulus above him again, the harsh lines of his face and his intense, fear-filled eyes glaring at him, but when the dark spots faded enough for him to see better, Sirius saw the face he loved more than anyone else's. Soft brown eyes framed by long blonde lashes and freckled cheeks intersected by old scars that spanned from one side of his face, across his nose, and down the other side of his jaw.  

    "Moony," Sirius rasped, eyebrows pulling together in confusion before he seemed to remember where he was, gasping suddenly and reaching out to clutch Remus' arm tightly, smearing blood on his sleeve, "You have to go, it's not safe. Please, you have to go," His face was twisted in a mixture of nauseating pain and bone-shaking fear, eyes glazed and unsettled in a way Remus usually only witnessed after Sirius had one of his nightmares. 

    "Not without you," Remus said firmly, covering the hand still grasping his arm with his own hand, "Regulus has a plan, we're getting you out of here. I won't leave without you," 

    "He’s going to get himself and everyone else killed. Bellatrix will kill everyone. Please, I'll survive this, but if she finds you, you won't," Sirius begged, voice tinged with desperation. He struggled to sit up, tears squeezing out of his eyes, breathing turning from ragged with pain to quick and short in its panic.

   Remus shook his head, mouth pressed in a thin line as he pulled Sirius carefully upright and supported his weight with an arm around his waist, feeling the way the boy's body trembled in his arms.

   "Would you leave if it was me?”

   Sirius ignored the question, because of course he wouldn’t, but he couldn’t stand for this. The three people he loved most in the world and he was dooming them all, and isn’t that what being a Black is? Poisonous, toxic, dangerous.

   "I can't let you die for me, please," He pleaded, though he knew it was a losing battle. 

   “No one’s dying and no one is getting left behind, Regulus has a plan,” Remus repeated, hoping his own doubts weren’t obvious, he had never been very optimistic, but there was no other outcome he would accept.

   "Forget it, mate, we're getting out of here together. Regulus, too. We'll handle your psychotic cousin," James cut in, still watching the door dutifully, he gave Sirius a reassuring smile over his shoulder though his tone left no room for argument. Sirius frowned but didn't argue anymore, he just leaned more of his weight into his boyfriend, head resting on his shoulder, Remus' jumper soft underneath his cheek. 

   “You’re worth it.” Remus whispered in his ear, a gentle press of his lips in Sirius’ hair, there and gone again. Sirius squeezed his eyes shut and tried not to think about how very wrong Remus was, but he knew that argument would go absolutely nowhere and he was too tired to start or finish it.

   Remus began closing the wounds he could, using vulnera sanentur to replenish some of the blood he'd lost that had seeped into his clothes, though there wasn't much he could do yet without supplies. When he moved to Sirius' arm, he noticed the deep cuts carved into his skin that formed the word traitor in slanted, uneven writing. Remus hissed through his teeth, brushing his thumb next to the cursed wound, barely resisting the urge to disapparate at that moment, to take Sirius away before this dreadful place could take something else from him.

   But, he knew they had to wait until Regulus came back and told them the plan. If they just disappeared with Sirius, Bellatrix would suspect Regulus had something to do with it, and Sirius would never forgive himself or them for leaving his brother. They had to play this out very carefully for everyone to make it out alive. Leaving with Sirius will save his life but endanger Regulus, and leaving Sirius here would most likely kill him but keep Regulus safe. Remus cast his eyes to the ceiling, wordlessly praying that they'd all make it out of Grimmauld with their lives.

    The doorknob jiggled, making Remus snap his head toward it as James inhaled sharply. Remus cursed, dragging Sirius to the far corner of the room and ignoring his whine of pain, hastily leaning him carefully up against the wall so he could support himself. He muttered an apology distractedly, casting a shield around Sirius in case a rogue spell hit him, looking around the room and wracking his brain for what else he could do when the door opened. Remus scrambled to stand in front of Sirius, just behind James, both of their wand arms raised and trained on the door. Remus was ready to fire off an expelliarmus when Regulus stepped through the entryway. 

    James deflated, dropping his wand arm almost instantly and Remus cursed him silently, he was too easy to read, never possessed a subtle bone in his body, and the realization sunk like a stone in his gut. If Bellatrix encountered James, she could find out about him and Regulus easily, especially like this, when he was already so afraid. Regulus may be a great actor, but James is not, and Remus cursed himself for good measure too, for not thinking about the fact that James was a liability here. Maybe Dumbledore was right, they aren't capable of pulling this off, not without exposing Regulus, but they were in too deep now. 

    Regulus closed the door behind him and began applying a few locking charms to it, buying them time when Bellatrix inevitably came looking. James had dropped his wand, but Remus held it still, unsure of what to do or expect from Regulus, his protectiveness of Sirius overrode everything else, despite the fact he knew Regulus didn't want to hurt him. He wanted them all to get out desperately, but the doubts kept threatening to creep in, the idea that maybe there wasn’t much hope at all.

   It was a horrible thing to think, but if Remus had to choose, he would doom Regulus if it meant saving Sirius, no matter how much he likes Regulus or how much it would hurt Sirius to lose his brother, and James to lose his boyfriend, selfishly, he would do it.  

    Regulus turned away from the door to face Remus and James after a few moments, his expression unreadable, the only cracks to be found were in his slightly messier than usual curls, as if he'd run his hands through his hair a lot, a habit he likely picked up from James, and the spots of blood around his cuticles from picking at them anxiously. 

    "What's the plan, Reg? Sirius isn't looking too good, we need to get him to a healer," Remus asked, finally lowering his wand after too much time had passed. If Regulus noticed or cared, he didn’t say anything, his eyes slipping past Remus to assess his brother’s state. 

    "Hey," Sirius protested weakly from where he was slumped against the wall, "I'm always good-looking, you prick." James snorted as Regulus and Remus fixed equally unimpressed glares at Sirius, who had the ghost of a grin on his beaten face, mischief glimmering in his eyes. Regulus ignored his brother, silently thankful he was making jokes again, his old self shining through. As annoying as he was, anything was better than the dull look Sirius had in his eyes before. 

    "Okay, here's the plan,"