April 5th, 1994
Remus Lupin is not ok. Remus Lupin was also seriously regretting his decision to become a professor. Professor Lupin has four classes to teach and papers to grade and exams to write. Remus Lupin wanted nothing more than get as drunk as possible. There’s this muggle pub by his flat with the cheapest liquor Remus could find. It’s not always tasty, but it gets the job done.
He wants to drink. He wants to be numb. He doesn’t want to think or feel.
Peter.
Peter is alive.
And the spy.
Remus tried to wrap his head around it. Sirius and Peter switched. Peter told Voldemort where Lily and James lived. Peter then framed Sirius and faked his death.
Sirius and Peter switched, and no one told Remus.
They were in hiding for months! He and Lily wrote daily! James never once told him. Sirius, his boyfriend, never said a word. There was so much time to tell him! Peter was the spy! Peter sold out the nicest people Remus had ever met, the only two people who never said anything mean about him. And all for what? Some dark lord? He killed his best friend and his wife and almost killed their son for what? To live the next twelve years as a rat? To gain some dark power Voldemort promised him?
And Sirius.. Sirius spent twelve years in Azkaban for nothing. Sirius looked like death. He was crazed and somehow managed to escape the worst place possible. Remus wondered if he should tell Dumbledore about Sirius’s animagus form, but he was too in denial to think that Padfoot was the way Sirius escaped. No one saw Sirius leave. They would’ve kept him locked up along with Peter until the minister came. Sirius was smart, he would never stay somewhere he knew he wasn’t wanted.
Sirius was gone. Again.
Remus wanted to drink.
There was a knock at his door, Remus prayed it was not a student. He didn’t care about Banshees or pixies right now. He sighed, ran his hand through his hair. It was still early, hopefully it wasn’t a student.
“Come in.” He called.
McGon- Minerva walked in. She carried some food and sat across from him.
“I didn’t see you at breakfast so I thought I would join you here.” She was always nice to him. Always motherly as if he was still a student. Remus didn’t want breakfast. He didn’t want to go to the Great Hall either.
“Wasn’t hungry.” He smiled. He hoped it didn’t look too fake.
“Fudge came last night. Pettigrew relayed his story, without veritaserum this time. He was transferred to Azkaban this morning.” She told him. Good. Let him rot. Let him suffer, just as he forced Sirius to.
“How’s Harry?” Remus felt guilty for not going to the boy first. Sirius was a big fan of publicly berating someone, but Harry didn’t need the entire school to know the truth behind that fateful halloween night.
“Albus is speaking with him and the Weasleys this morning to add in missing details. It was a very interesting story Pettigrew gave, becoming an animagus all on his own. For no other reason than youthful fun.”
Oh great. Peter was comfortable with giving away his best friend’s lives but not the fact that Remus is a werewolf. What is Remus supposed to do with that?
“Interesting story indeed.”
“Mr. Black has been cleared of all charges. The ministry is hoping to give him back his wand and assets soon.”
“Assets?” Sirius lived in Remus’s flat. He had a vault of his uncles gold, but he didn’t own anything.
“Four years ago, Walburga Black passed and left everything to her firstborn son. She and Cygnus Black signed off every one of their assets and ministry powers to Sirius.” Minerva told him. That was unexpected. Walburga Black hated her son. She told anyone who would listen how much she hated her firstborn. But then again, a lot changed after Sirius was convicted.
“I didn’t believe it at first. The papers shouted he was this murderer who sold out his best friend. I didn’t think he could do it. Then every where I looked people were pointing out the signs, ‘he was a Black after all’ or ‘he always excelled in magic’. Everyone was convinced he did it. Then… then his family spoke out. His Mother condemned ‘her son’. That’s what she called him, her son. His grandfather even called him the heir when not even two days earlier they all pretended he didn’t exist. And so I thought that if his family had re-accepted him, then maybe everyone else is right. Maybe I had missed something. He was innocent the entire time.” Remus felt like sobbing. Just breaking down right here. He couldn’t even blame Sirius for leaving, Remus left him all alone.
“We all believed it. This does not fall only on you.” Minerva cared for all Gryffindors, but she cared for Sirius Black the most. She loved Sirius like a son, and everyone else knew it. Maybe if he and Sirius were just friends, then he would have been comforted by this. But Sirius was the love of his life, and Remus left him for worse than dead.
“He won’t go to the ministry. He won’t claim ownership of Grimmauld Place.” He may burn it down, but he would never live there.
“Do you know where he would go?”
“Who wants to know?” He won’t be helping the ministry find Sirius.
“Fudge believes Sirius will go to him, he’s called off any and all searchesfor him.” She scoffed. Good to know she also thought fudge was an idiot.
“Sirius would leave his home for days at a time. We never knew what he would be doing for most of the time, but he always ended up at the Potters.” With James. “Seeing as that is no longer an option, I have no idea where he would go.”
They sat in silence for a while. It almost comforting. Remus could forget about Peter, Sirius, James, Lily. The daily prophet has already written about Peter now, so he supposes Mary must know the truth too. Assuming that Mary even pays attention to the wizarding world anymore.
“Eat.” Minerva said, as she stood up. “It’s going to be a very long day.”
It’s going to be a very long life.