April 7th, 1994
The first thing Sirius did was take a two hour long shower. The water was so warm, so comforting. He missed this. He missed showers. He cleaned everything. Every crevice, every millimeter of his skin needed to be cleaned over and over again. He was obsessed. The longer he went the dirtier he felt. He needed to scrub and scrub and scrub.
After two hours he felt good enough to leave the shower. There were clothes on the counter, sleep robes. Figures Cissy would only have wizard clothes. There were also scissors. He cut his hair without hesitation. He stopped around his shoulders. He spent the next two hours trying to walk through the steps of how he used to care for and style his hair. His body seemed to remember more than his mind did. He found potions and products in the bathroom, Cissy may not have curly hair but her sisters inherited the family curls.
Come Siri, it’s time you learn to do your hair but yourself.
Why can’t you or Bella keep doing it?
Because we won’t always be here.
He found a blade to trim his beard. He didn’t shave it. He didn’t want to look like himself from before. He put on the robes, it covered all of his tattoos. Fine. He didn’t want to see them.
What’s this?
Hmm?
This on your arm, it’s new.
Moony-
It’s the moon.
Yes Moony.
Moony
Moony
Moony.
Enough. Moony should keep his paws out of Sirius’s head.
****
It was three days later, Sirius was wearing the wizard version of a suit. He didn’t really mind. He sat in Cissy’s foyer as the elf keeps bringing him food, something about him being too skinny. James would get along great with this elf, he was always worried about Sirius’s health.
James.
James.
James.
Everything will forever be about James.
Cissy walked up to him and set a wand on the table. His wand. His wand? He would’ve thought they snapped that. Sirius snatched his wand into his own hands. It was his wand. His real wand. Oh how he missed it.
“The ministry is ready to hand over a large sum of gold as an apology. All you have to do is show up.”
“I think you mean Fudge wants to keep his job by giving me hush money.”
“Is there a difference?” Cissy sat across from him. Last night her told her everything. Becoming an animagus, the spy, the secret keeper, his relationship with Remus. Honestly he was testing her. See how much she could support before turning into a clone of her husband. She was weirdly open about any topic he threw at her.
I care about protecting my family, not what others tell me is wrong.
That’s pretty against the Black mentality, Cis.
It didn’t used to be.
She’s right. Sirius barely remembered it, but before his father became the patriarch of the family, his grandfather ran it very differently. Arcturus Black would do anything to keep his family alive, to keep it safe. He was paranoid and possessive, but so was everyone else around him. Sirius barely remembers the first times his grandfather took him on heir training. They were out in the muggle world, Sirius can’t remember why though.
Ignore them, Sirius.
But.. but papa says we are better than the muggles, so we must condemn them.
We are better than the muggles, but we must ignore them. They are so below us, that they are not even worth our attention.
Sirius doesn’t even remember when that ideology changed, it seemed like overnight they went from ignoring the muggles and muggleborns to killing them.
“There’s one part of your story that doesn’t make sense.” Cissy broke the silence.
“Only one?”
“When you got to the Potters, before you saw Peter, the grounds keeper already had instructions to take the child to his muggle relatives, but you were legally next of kin. The muggles should not have been considered until after you went to Azkaban.”
What is she talking about? Of course Harry- wait.
Will you be the godfather?
What does that mean?
It means you raise Harry if we die.
That’s.. awfully morbid Lil.
Lil.
Lily.
Lily.
I’m sorry.
“Huh.” He didn’t really have any other words. She was right, Hagrid should have been delivering Harry to him. There’s no reason Lily’s sister should have even been considered. The sister wasn’t even on the will.
Why wasn’t Harry being brought to him?
“Lucius is always saying that Dumbledore plays the ministry like puppets.” Cissy sighed. Sirius couldn’t tell if she was agreeing with that statement or not, but he didn’t really care. Why would Dumbledore ignore James and Lily’s will? Why was Hagrid going to the sister’s house when Sirius hadn’t been convicted yet? He should legally be the boy’s guardian.
“I.. I need to change that. I need to get Harry.” Yes. He would take Harry from the sister. He would buy him anything he wanted then they would go wherever he wanted.
“You? Be a parent?”
Do you want one, Moony?
Want what? A child?
Mhm.
I think we make great uncles. Why bother testing fate?
“It can’t be too hard, your husband does it.” Sirius smiled. Cissy writes Draco every single day, Sirius isn’t even sure Lucius looks at the letters Draco sends back.
“Fine. But you’re going to need a few things before you go fight the headmaster for custody.”
“Like what?” It really shouldn’t be too hard. He is Harry’s godfather and it is his right to raise Harry. What could the sister do that Sirius couldn’t? Nothing that’s what! Need a few things, what utter bullshit.
“Well first a house. You don’t have an address and you are not living here forever.”
“I.. have inherited a house.”
“You’re going to live and raise a child in Grimmuald Place?”
GET OUT OF MY SIGHT YOU USELESS FILTHY LITTLE BLOOD TRAITOR! YOU ARE A SHAME TO THIS FAMILY AND TO THIS HOUSE! YOU ARE NO SON OF MINE!
“No. Definitely not there. What about… what about Black Manor?” Black manor used to be where the patriarch lived, but then some grandparent long ago decided to move to London as a reminder to the rest of the world that the Black family pretty much owned all of London.
“Lucretta lives there now.” Cissy stated. Sirius.. did not know Lucretta was still alive.
“Noir Manor.” He could live in France. Harry would probably like it too. Sirius was still fluent in the language too.
“That… could work. After Alphard died, my father stayed there for a few years, but he recently moved back to London. But you will need to move the ancestors portraits out of Grimmuald Place. As Lord, they are your job,”
Sirius’s father always spoke of the ancestors portraits in hushed tones. You are supposed to take advice from your ancestors, but also supposed to run the house in your own authoritative way. It was confusing. They were supposed to give good sound advice, but they mostly just complained.
“I’ll get an elf to move them to Black Manor. I don’t suppose Kreacher is still alive too?” Sirius joked. That elf was old when Sirius was born, there’s no way he’s still kicking it.
“He is. I tried to get him to come work for us when your mother died, but he insisted that it was his life’s purpose to die in Grimmuald Place then have his head mounted.”
“If everyone in that house is dead, who’s going to mount his head?” Sirius asked. Cissy gave him a look that said you, idiot.
No.
He refuses.
He doesn’t care how much Reggie loved that elf, he won’t.
Reggie.
Reggie.
Reg.
Why did I ever think it was good to leave you?
“Ok, I set up Noir Manor, get a few elves to clean it, then Harry and I move in!” Sirius smiled. It would be great, he could take the boy sight seeing, have him try the greatest food known to mankind. The wizarding population in Paris is outstanding too. Maybe they could even tour Beaux.
“And you will need a job. Being rich doesn’t get you out of that, you need an income.” What is with Cissy and constantly shooting him down?
“I’ll take up my seat in the Wizengamot and the school board.” Both of those things sound dreadful, but his father did say he barely went anyways. Maybe he could pick up some work in transfiguration, he thinks he was doing that during the war.
“And lastly, you need to get yourself registered.”
What?
No.
“No. I can’t expose Remus like that! What if people like your husband come for his job!” He would never hurt Remus. Not purposely, at least.
YOU TOLD SNAPE?!
James listen-
NO! No! You told the one person who hates Remus the most! You almost got him killed! You almost made Remus a murderer!
No wonder Remus believed he was the spy.
“So you say the same lame excuse Pettigrew gave. Listen to me, Siri; if you are honestly going to become Lord of the House of Black then you will have no shortage of enemies. What if one of them discovers this secret and threatens you, or worse threatens the child? Unregistered animagi face time in Azkaban and I’m certain you don’t want to end up back there. You have found yourself in a place where Fudge will do anything for your forgiveness, get registered now with no consequences while you can.”
It.. unfortunately made a lot of sense. Cissy was too good at this heir stuff. Always seeing every problem from every angle. If Sirius and Reg were never born, she probably would’ve become head of house after Andy left and Bella went mad. She would’ve been good at it too. It’s very good that Cissy decided to leave all that blood supremacy behind and help Sirius out.
He supposes he could ask dear old Minnie for help to register. They were never subtle when it came to asking questions about animagi, especially prongs. And now that Peter confessed to be one, she has to know.
Peter.
Spy.
Traitor.
Kill the rat.
He should’ve killed the rat.
“I don’t suppose you happen to have an owl I could borrow?” He looked to his cousin. She looked like the spitting image of her mother, only blonder. Sirius wonders what happened to Aunt Druella. He knows most of the Rosiers were killed in the first war, but surely some had to still be here.
But then again, look at the Noble and most Ancient House of Black. They were practically extinct.
“Take the family owl, I expect to see you registered by the weekend.” Yeah, yeah, whatever. He will get registered, get the money, claim his seat in the court, blah blah blah.
Cissy asked the elf to bring him parchment and a quill then left. This is fine, Sirius just has to write a letter. He’s done it so many times.
Dear Minnie,
No, no he can’t say that. He’s a grown man. Sort of.
Dear Minerva,
That.. felt wrong. It was like fire to his skin. Sand to his tongue.
Dear McGonagall,
It would have to do.
Dear McGonagall,
I am writing in hopes that you will help me with some paperwork at the ministry. I am told that unregistered animagi face time in Azkaban, but luckily the Prime Minister owes me a favour. I’m not sure if you’ve heard but he had mistakenly sent me to Azkaban for the last twelve years without a trial. He wishes to save his job, so I will use it to the best I can. Do not worry, I understand not wanting to visit while I was away. Please write back if you are interested in helping. The owl will wait.
S.O.B.
P.S. Don’t tell Remus.