Accismus

The day had started as most mornings did in the Slytherin boy's dormitories. Regulus, the overachiever that he was, had been awake first. He was already completely showered, dressed, and perched on his bed with a book splayed open on his lap when Evan had rolled out of bed. 

Tripping over his own two feet, he hastily dressed himself, falling face-first onto the dungeon floor with a groan when he severely miscalculated where his pant leg had been and had attempted to shove his left leg into the waistband of his trousers instead.“Fuck! Regulus why didn’t you wake me up? I’m going to be late for that stupid meeting with Slughorn. You‘re lucky I’m not in the mood to hex you right now.” Evan had snapped, his eyes ablaze. The attempt to intimidate Regulus was pathetic really, considering Evan was still currently sprawled half-naked on the floor of their dorm, his trousers hiked halfway up his right leg, his blonde hair sticking up in every direction, and was whispering his threats so as not to wake up Barty. Who was—to no one’s surprise—still peacefully snoring behind the Emerald curtains of his bed.    

Regulus’s posture had remained as straight and poised as ever, his gray eyes perfectly trained on the cream-colored pages of his book as he responded. “Well Evan, I did not wake you because it is not my job to do so. If you expected me to wake you up with pumpkin juice and marmalade-covered bread you were heavily mistaken. Besides, if anything you should be thanking me. If I had woken you up earlier, you wouldn’t have been able to spend the last half hour nuzzled against Barty’s chest, now would you?” 

Although Regulus had not been facing him directly Evan could practically feel the small upturn of Regulus’s lips as he spoke, slightly tilting his head to the side and raising his defined eyebrows knowingly, daring Evan to refute Regulus’s accusation.

“Whatever, wake him up will you?” Evan deflected. “As I said earlier, I need to visit Slughorn before class today, and showing up late certainly won’t put me in his good graces. Oh, and by the way, it’s marmalade-covered toast you twat, not bread.” Evan had huffed, finally crawling up from his embarrassing spot on the floor to properly tug on his clothes, keeping his eyes pre-occupied with fussing about whether his tie looked straight or not in an obvious attempt to avoid letting his gaze slip towards the bed he had just gotten out of—Barty’s bed. 

Regulus could only observe the scene playing out in front of him with half amusement and part pity, he truly wished Pandora was here right now so he had someone here to trade amused smiles and hidden glances with. Pandora was always looking for an opportunity to tease her older brother (only older by twelve minutes, she’ll never forget to remind him) especially if she could watch as he squirmed and sputtered whenever he and Barty were brought up in conversation. Pandora - although the most understanding and generous person towards mythical creatures - could be quite sadistic when it came to people and their feelings. 

“Fine, I suppose I can wake Barty up from his nap to help you avoid the embarrassment of having to face him this morning. It’s not like the two of you had been huddled together half-naked for “warmth” just last night,” Regulus had drawled, allowing Evan to confirm his earlier suspicions as the corners of his cousin's mouth ticked upwards, a smug smirk Regulus hadn’t attempted to hide present on his face as he continued. “Because in my opinion that would be far more humiliating than just waking up your best friend.”

“Pfft, don’t be ridiculous Regulus, we all know you're my best friend.” Evan grinned wide, his pearly white teeth just visible from between his parted lips, which were suspiciously red and appeared slightly swollen. Regulus had once again simply raised his left eyebrow in response, slightly pursing his lips in thought before swiftly grabbing a green throw pillow from off his bed and hurling it full force through Barty’s curtain at his sleeping form.

“Ow! The fucks matter with you people, can’t a man get some shut-eye without being assaulted by decorative bedding.” Barty had grumbled, his voice coming out groggy and surprisingly hoarse.

Regulus watched the display once again amused and far less pitiful than he felt before, as Evan had almost thrown himself against the floor again in his hasty attempt to leave the dungeons before Barty had opened his curtain to finally wake up for the day.

“Where’s Ev? He usually waits up for me before we head down to breakfast,” Barty yawned. It was mostly all mushed together and was made into its very own unique incoherent sound. If Regulus hadn’t spent the majority of his life deciphering Barty’s odd sounds and weird gestures he most likely wouldn’t have been able to tell you what Barty had tried to say if you held a wand to his throat.

“He had a meeting with Slughorn. I’m sure he’ll be back in time to escort you to breakfast, don’t fret.” Barty, clearly having not yet processed Regulus’s words in his half-conscious state, had flicked his brown eyes across the room in a panic as he surveyed the room for the blonde-haired boy.

“Barty,” Regulus had announced sternly, irritation evident in his tone.

“Evan. Meeting. Slughorn. Not here. Will. be. back. later.” Regulus had explained, drawing out and over-emphasizing the vowels as if he were speaking to an annoying first-year student and not the boy he had been best friends with since they were eight. 

Barty had finally abandoned his attempts at finding Evan and stood from his unmade bed. Reaching his arm under his four-poster and retrieving a wrinkled white button-down dress shirt, that he heedlessly used to dress himself. The white unbuttoned collar and loose Slytherin tie did no favors in concealing the large black and white rose he had magically tattooed onto his neck last week. “See something you like? It’s okay, you can tell me. I always knew it was just a matter of time before you stopped thinking of Potter’s dick and began to realize he was one.” Barty teased, quickly poking his tongue out, the titanium barbell gleaming in the low light of the dungeons and noisily clacking against his teeth.

Regulus curled his lip in disgust, rolling his eyes before taking another pointed glance at Barty’s outfit. His crinkled white dress shirt looked a size too big and his black slacks a size too small, his tie was undone, resting around his neck like a scarf, and the muggle trainers he had begged Dorcas to buy him last year were dirt-scuffed and untied. “Do you intend to wear that to breakfast or will you change into something decent beforehand?” 

“You wound me, Little Reggie! How dare you assume my outfit would be anything other than something my father could potentially see and disprove of! I swear sometimes it feels as if you don’t know me at all.” Barty had exaggerated, fluttering his eyelashes in faux hurt and clutching a fist to his chest.

“Be careful,” Regulus had warned, sauntering through the Slytherin common rooms, down the hall, before continuing. “If you keep talking like that I’m afraid you’ll transfigure into my brother.”

Barty’s cocky expression dropped in an instant, his eyes narrowing as he placed a palm over his mouth. “Regulus, I think that is the most insulting and disgusting thing you’ve ever said, me turning into him ” He spat out the words like they were bitter and difficult to swallow. “I mean, I prefer the days when you told me I smelled like Hippogriff shit!”

As they entered the great hall and sat at their usual spots, Regulus scanned the Ravenclaw table in hopes of seeing Pandora. When his eyes eventually caught on wavy towhead hair pulled into a loose braid decorated with tinsel and hair clasps, he stood up to wave her over—only to realize Evan had been sitting beside her, his face pressed shamefully into his hands with reddened ears.  

This had been happening since their third year, Evan and Barty would either be so dreadfully sad, get themselves slobbered, or smoke until Regulus had to recruit Dorcas and Pandora to assist him in airing out the dorm before Muliciber or Avery smelled it and snitched. And then they’d crawl into each other's bed at night. Only for Evan to be so distraught and ashamed in the morning after he got his emotions in check, that he refused to look at, sit near, or speak to Barty for at least a full day until the cycle started all over again. 

Pandora raised her concentrated blue eyes from her brother's obscured face to look at Regulus from across the Ravenclaw table, having clearly shared Regulus’s plan of sitting next to each other during breakfast. 

Glad to finally have someone to share exasperated sighs with Pandora had titled her pale chin upwards, beckoning Regulus—and Barty by extension—over to her table, having decided to ignore the pleas Evan had to have made to sit with her, his only reason for doing so most likely being to avoid Barty until he was intoxicated enough to think illogically and once again seek out comfort in the solace of Barty’s four poster bed. 

Regulus swung his legs out from underneath the table sending a questioning look at Dorcas Meadows, who was currently staring daggers into Mckinnon’s scalp, her brown roots had grown out about an inch and her dyed blonde hair was currently serving as a curtain to cover her face from view as she snickered into her plate of sausage and eggs, her shoulders shaking at the force of her giggles. 

‘Ah, she must have been laughing at something he said.’ Regulus thought idly, before quickly snapping himself out of it and approaching the empty seat next to Pandora, knowing Barty practically turned into a lost puppy without Evan around, constantly following and begging for Regulus’s attention until Evan’s fits of shame passed, he would be trailing not too far behind.  

That (Dorcas’s poorly masked contempt for the Gryffindor girl) had started before Regulus, Evan, Pandora, and Barty had even started attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. According to Dorcas, before the sorting hat ceremony, Mckinnon had stomped on her foot with her “ratty old trainers” and when Dorcas demanded politely asked for an apology the blonde girl (though at the time of the story, her hair was still a natural muddy brown) had simply stood there with wide eyes, her mouth agape as she quickly spun around to hide behind Potter. (Who at the time was the same height as her) The rocky relationship between them only grew more complicated as time went on, from the countless times professors have paired them together for assignments that Mckinnon never managed to finish in time, causing Dorcas’s grade to drop, or when both Dorcas and Mckinnon signed up for their house's respective quidditch teams and Mckinnon hit her with a bludger.

It also didn’t help that Regulus was quite sure Dorcas was at least slightly attracted to the energetic Gryffindor a bit. 

Dorcas, having felt Regulus’s gaze on her, had torn her eyes from the Gryffindors, much like Regulus had earlier, and started towards the Ravenclaw table, pulling her waist-length braids into a loose ponytail behind her head as she did so. Dropping down across the table from where Regulus sat in between Barty—who was hopelessly trying to drag Evan into a conversation—and Pandora - who was switching from comforting, mocking, and ignoring her brother. 

“So gentleman, Pandora, and Barty, what’s the plan for tonight?” Dorcas asked, her long mauve-painted fingernail carefully itching the diamond stud she had impulsively stabbed into the side of her nose at a sleepover they had last year. 

Where Barty had requested she impale his tongue with a needle and then Dorcas had managed to convince Regulus and the twins she knew what she was doing with a sewing needle and some muggle medical alcohol, not daring to use magic in case their parents traced her magic back to any of the piercings. 

Dorcas left that sleepover with a nose stud, Barty enthusiastically left with a sore tongue and eyebrow piercing, Pandora left with a few new helix piercings, her brother Evan was coerced by Barty to get a matching barbell through his left eyebrow, and—knowing he would most definitely be disowned if he was ever caught with a facial piercing—succumbing to peer pressure—Regulus had left with a navel piercing discreetly hidden beneath his school uniform.

“The plan for tonight?” Regulus and the Rosier siblings questioned, perfectly in sync with their confusion.

“Who cares about tonight, how about we focus on the fact she just implied I wasn’t a gentleman but Evan was!” 

“Hey! I’m way more of a gentleman than you are Bee,” Evan turned offended. 

“Aha! You finally speak!” Barty cheered, pointing an accusatory finger at Evan. “Don’t worry Ev, I think you’re a perfect gentleman I just wanted to hear your lovely voice argue with me again.”

Barty’s ridiculous announcement caused a chain reaction through the group as Evan’s pale face turned an embarrassing Gryffindor red, Dorcas began snickering, and Regulus shared Pandora's defeated expression.       

“Let’s please get back on track boys, Dorcas what about tonight?” Pandora asked, successfully turning the group's attention back towards the girl who started this conversation in the first place.

“Thank you, Panda, Well, I’m quite bored you see and I hear-” 

“No, absolutely not, I’m not doing it.” Regulus interrupted, crossing his arms and shaking his head in refusal. The familiar mischievous glimmer in the older Slytherin student's eyes makes his insides squirm with unease.

“Come on Reg, please! I can’t go to the party if you don’t, and you know I’ll need the emotional support if she’s gonna be there.” Dorcas had her hands clasped together on the table, her plethora of silver rings and beaded bracelets clinking together as she pleaded her case.

“Oh, in your dreams Meadows! If Marlene Mckinnon is gonna be there so will-”

“Potter?” Barty chimes in, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively with a wink. A matching smirk formed on Evan’s face at the mention of the often talked about boy from their late-night dorm discussions.

Regulus’s friends had known him far too well, for far too long in his opinion. 

They were there when eleven-year-old Regulus Black - the blabbermouth that he was - had sung Potter's praises and followed him around like- well like how Barty tends to follow Regulus around when he can’t find Evan. They had comforted him in second year when he vowed to never show his face in school again after Slughorn had sent him and Barty into the Gryffindor boy’s changing room to give a letter to Frank Longbottom about an overdue potions assignment. After Regulus had lost his balance and toppled into Potter’s arms—Potter who had just finished quidditch practice was in nothing but a towel. His nose had bleed and he properly fainted at the sight. Regulus; unconscious body was later carried to Madam Pomfrey's by his brother and Barty so he could be checked over when he woke up. His Slytherin friend group (and Pandora) were also there to witness the time in third year when Barty stole his journal and read out a terribly mortifying poem Regulus had written about his unrequited love for a certain Gryffindor. 

So, logically Regulus should have cut them all off by now, after forcing them all into an unbreakable vow to never repeat his secrets to another soul. 

In the rabid pack of wolves, his family was, he was raised to be a lifeless marionette, with a set script to follow and his movements to forever be carefully manipulated by his Marionettist at the pluck of a string and the flick of a wrist to perform in front of his bloodthirsty audience for a lifetime. 

That was the biggest risk in his Household.

Living.

Being a living person, with aspirations, friends, and feelings.

Regulus would never be courageous or frightened enough to sever the bond that sticks them together, not that he could envision a universe where they’d ever let him. He could never do it because although they knew every humiliating secret of his, they were also the first and only people he knew he could trust when he finally allowed himself to admit he wasn’t looking forward to marrying a pure-blood girl or—any girl for that matter. They were the kids who had helped him accept that it was okay that his heart stuttered and his palms sweat when he passed Potter in the halls.

They all had helped each other up when their families had kicked them down.

They were his family.

So maybe helping out the only older sister he’s ever had face the girl she… hates (???) despite her wretched upbringing might be worth the humiliation of not being seen by the one person he’s seen his entire life.

Because he’s her little brother, thats what little brothers do for their older siblings, they make sacrifices and stand by them and hold their hand when they're scared. 

That’s what he used to do for Sirius.

“Fine, I’ll go to the stupid party tonight.” Regulus sniffed, scanning the faces of his grinning group of friends.

“Oh! I love you, I love you, I love you,” Dorcas had chanted, leaping across the table to plant quick kisses on his cheeks and forehead, smearing dark purple lipstick across his reddening face as Pandora giggled with glee from beside him and Evan had let out a toothy grin towards Barty.

And yes, this moment right here, is what will make any challenges he faces tonight worth it.