Lemon syrup
“Lemon syrup” Remus shouted at the gargoyle in front of dumbledores office. He held his breath for a second when it didn’t move, god wouldn’t that be so bloody embarrassing?
It made a low rumbling noise and started turning up into a staircase.
“What” Sirius muttered “the fuck”
“How do you know that moony?!” Peter shouted.
“I saw it in Mgonagals office… a few days ago” he shrugged and jumped on the stair case. His friends following him.
“Why were you in her office?” James asked as he fixed his crooked glasses.
“Wolf stuff” Remus spat. He knew it would always be the quickest way to shut them up.
Though it wasn’t particularly true. They’d been trudging through the castle for about half an hour, Remus hoped that this game would be particularly long.
But still, the better he could shut them up the better, and this did always shut them up. The truth was the Remus didn’t tell his friends the day he got called to professor Mcgonagals office, and he didn’t plan on telling them now.
A real downer
As Grant would say.
Don’t needa bumb them out quite yet.
The stairs came to stop as the office came to light. A large circular room with all sorts of trinkets and gadgets, faux the phoenix perch calmly on his ledge. The bright reds bird tilted its head and clicked at them.
“Where do we start?” Sirius shrugged.
“Uhm” Remus scowled at the bookshelves. He never did read very well, but nothing they didn’t find in the library was in his collection on books. He stepped up onto the small staircase that lasted the walls, providing access to the higher up books and scrolls.
“Help me look!” He shouted after his friends who were a step behind him. Except for Sirius who was petting the phoenix lightly, and bright smile on his face as it purred and pushed its face into his hand. Remus couldn’t help but think that he would do the exact same thing if he were that bird.
He turned his head away from Sirius and rummaged through the scrolls, one after another, without much luck.
“Sirius, come on!” He shouted as he through a bunch of scrolls at Sirius.
They wouldn’t have that much time, the wisp would come in any second. They’d wasted too much time spent too much time at the game. And alibi could’ve been done for in half an hour.
But of course, James and Sirius wouldn’t shut up.
Remus pulled scroll after scroll out of the wall.
Hogwarts: passages and secrets
“Brilliant, don’t fucking care” he muttered to himself and threw it to the side.
“Guys”
“Not now Pete”
“The game is over!”
Remus whipped around to see the light wisps of blue smoke falling through the spaces between the door frames.
“Shit” he pulled more scrolls out, quicker and quicker. “I told you we had to leave earlier” he muttered to himself.
“Moony come on we have to come back another-“
“I’ve got it, James” he snapped and pulled two more out.
“Remus, mate, you’re going to get us caught!” Sirius darted his eyes between James and a cursing Remus, who unrolled another scroll
Peter frowned “yeah really-“
“I got it alright?! Let’s go! Let’s go!” He pushed Peter and James down the stairs. Sirius tossed the cloak to James.
“Reverto!” Remus turned and pointed his wand to the bookcase, all of the scrolls came scrambling back into their original positions.
“Good thinking-“
“Shut up!” Remus pulled the cloak over Sirius and him, James and Peter not far behind.
They shuffled down the stairs in tandem, trying to stay close and the cloak barely fit the four of them anymore.
Remus hissed through his teeth as his hip clicked over and over again.
“You okay moony?” Peter asked.
“Yeah I’m-“
“Minerva please, I can’t change the syllabus for one student”
“Scatter!” Remus whispered.
Peter pulled the cloak off of him and Remus, covering him and James as he pulled them back against a wall.
He looked back at Sirius for a second.
“Shit”
“Peter you rat-!”
“Mister black! Mister lupin! What are you doing on here?!”
Remus stared at the floor for a second, trying to think of a lie.
“We were trying to find answers to this homework assignment… is all” Sirius whispered.
“School night detention for the next three months! Both of you!” She clapped her hands hard. “I did not take you for a cheater mister Lupin-”
“He’s just an accomplice” Sirius interrupted her. “He knew the password… is all”
Dumbledore chuckled, stroking his beard in thought. “Both of you boys go back to your dorms, me and professor Mcgonagall have a new password to make”
Remus nodded and watched where James and Peter should have been.
“And you will be in my office, five o’clock sharp this evening!”
“Okay professor” Remus said, opening the door for Sirius to go through, knowing that Peter and James were going out right behind him.
After they were down the stairs Remus ripped off the cloak and smacked Peter on the back of the head. “What was that you twat!?”
“Well we’d all be caught if I hadn’t just chosen the two of us!” He pulled the scroll out of his pocket. “We got it anyway! I made the right-!”
“Keep your voice down wormy” James muttered.
He sighed “Sorry about detention” he muttered.
“Sorry about hitting you”
“Awe are you two friends again?” Sirius mocked.
Both Remus and Peter scowled at him but didn’t respond.
***
Remus didn’t listen as Sirius chatted about the quidditch game they’d missed. He’d gotten over his grudge with Peter, but he still felt like shit.
“moony? Are you listening?”
“Hm? Yeah” he shrugged.
“I’m sorry if I’m boring you”
“Nah” Remus flashed him a quick smile. “I like hearing you talk”
Sirius blinked him then looked away, letting his hair drop in front of his face as he continued his ramble.
Remus felt a flutter in his heart.
“Mister Lupin, Mister Black” filtch shouted from down the hall. “Today you will be scrubbing the potions room, an explosion earlier today has left the room covered in green goo that smells like Niffler dung. Do not come out til you’re done”
Remus took a sponge from him and scowled, pushing past through the door. The room was barely recognizable. Covered in green goo and melted pieces of glass and wood. Remus cursed under his breath.
“Be done by nine” flitch shut the door.
“Shit” Sirius coughed. “Smells absolutely awful”
“I know uhm… come over here” Remus awkwardly grabbed him by the should and pulled him in. “Odorahornes” he whispered and waved his wand, the smell changed quickly to warm coffee and his childhood bedroom, before he was… whatever he was.
“Thanks” Sirius whispered.
Remus was the first one to step back, blushing profusely. He turned so Sirius couldn’t see it.
“So we have to do this the muggle way huh?” Remus said as he wet his sponge and scrubbed at the wall.
“Well I doubt with kind of thing happens in the muggle world a lot”
“You’d be surprised” Remus shrugged. The awkward silence that followed made him want to die.
“How is the muggle world, huh?” Sirius asked.
Then things were easier, as they always were when just the two of them could talk, Sirius loved the muggle world, and Remus was truly more of a muggle than a wizard.
And hours flew by, with Sirius and his sweet smiles and rude laugh.
This was the reason why he’d always keep it in, why he’d never tell anyone how he felt. He couldn’t lose this, he couldn’t lose them.
***
Sirius kicked the door, hard.
“It’s no use dipshit” and threw his head back.
They’d been done for about fifteen minutes. But the door was still magically locked shut, so they couldn’t get it undone even with magic. Remus assumed it was because Filtch wanted to get back at them for their messier pranks in the past.
So Remus sat on the floor with his arms thrown over his legs and Sirius passed the room, as if trying to think of a way to break out.
“He can’t trap us in here for fucking ever!” Sirius shouted and threw his hands around.
“He’ll one the door before nine, remember?”Remus tilted his head. “And if he did I’d end up eating you tomorrow night and then killing half of hogwarts. He’ll unlock the door at some point”
“Why is it even locked in the first place?”
“Sit down Sirius you’re making me dizzy, my god” Remus shut his eyes and rubbed his temples, he would literally kill for a cigarette, considering he’d been out for a few days.
“Are you okay?” Sirius sat down next to him and scowled.
“Do you have any cigs back in dorm?”
“Nah”
“Shit” Remus hissed. “You oughta buy me more since you stole them all”
“I’ll buy you anything you want” Sirius shrugged. His sleeve fell a bit down his arm as he tucked his hair behind his ear. Remus noticed a bit of black ink on his wrist. He pulled Sirius’s wrist into his lap and pushed his sleeve up.
“What the fuck are you doing!” Sirius yanked his arm back before Remus could really see the image.
“Do you have a bloody tattoo!?”
“What’s it to ya, huh!?” Sirius shouted back and covered his wrist as if he were embarrassed.
“Let me see it!” Remus pulled his arm back as Sirius tried to pull his sleeve down.
“Get off me, asshole!” He laughed and pushed Remus back.
“I want to see it!”
Sirius smiled at him and rolled his eyes. “James thinks tattoos are trashy. That’s why I didn’t tell you lot”
“I don’t think they’re trashy, tattoos are hot”
Sirius raised his eyebrows and Remus Immediately wanted to throw himself down a drain.
Oh you fucking idiot!
Remus tilted his head as if it ment nothing. “I knew this girl with a big mermaid tattoo on her thigh“ Remus smacked his inner thigh as a gesture of the character he’d created in his head. “Picking hair out of my teeth for weeks with that girl”
“Remus!” Sirius shouted, slightly appalled.
“Oh she screamed my name the exact same way-“
“Bloody hell, moony!”
“I’m only kidding” Remus threw his hands around for a second. “But that’s not the point, I want to see your tattoo!”
Sirius’s smile dropped, as if they were discussing something deeper than a tattoo. “It’s dumb though and I was drunk- A-and you can’t tell anyone”
“Cross my heart” Remus responded out of habit. Siri’s tilted his head “That’s what the boys at St Eddies used for a promise”
“My cousins always said, Pur de cœur. Ne pas mentir. Tes secrets resteront toujours les miens.” He smiled a bit at the memory “Pure of heart. Do not lie. Your secrets will always remain mine”
Remus picked at the tilted floor. He quite liked it when Sirius spoke French. Though he didn’t know what he was saying he didn’t need to. Sirius sounded nice, as if the words were as simple as waves in a wind storm.
“Can I see, now?”
Sirius lifted up his sleeve and showed him small thin lines of the Leo constellation. A little star around the bottom right dot of the constellation.
“It’s for… It’s for my brother.” He whispered.
“It’s-“ Remus was going to say lovely. But he trailed off. He knew Sirius’s relationship with his brother was rocky, and always kind of had been. So he didn’t press it. “It’s really cool”
“Yeah… it is I haven’t told James yet, so keep this between us, eh? And the tattoo too, he’ll think it’s trashy”
Truthfully, Remus had a tattoo. He’d had it since he was thirteen. Just a mall thing that he did with a needle and Remus’s ink, a tiny moon on the collarbone with “moony” under it in small letters. After a long time of fearing the moon he never thought that he would get a tattoo of it. But it reminded him of his friends, and the nickname of Moony that he’d been given that year.
He was also really fucking wasted, but it looked pretty great.
“‘Course not”
***
James threw his snitch then caught it again, over and over. He’d been staring up at the dark ceiling of his room for almost an hour now, thinking.
Peter was sitting in his bed, reading and smoking a cigarette.
James always did think those things were gross, and he never understood what his friends liked about them, but he got used to it.
“Peter”
“Mhm?”
“Do you ever think about love?”
“All the time” Peter laughed at the statement. “Why?”
“Have you ever felt like you loved someone you shouldn’t? Well not love but fancied- not even that just…”
Butterflies if they even look at you.
Watching them exist as they don’t know that they’re the center of your attention.
Daydreams.
Fear and excitement at the thought of their voice.
“Have you ever seen someone that you know you shouldn’t be into but you are?”
“Oh Jamie” he shut the book and gave him a sympathetic frown. “Who have you fallen for this time”
“No! I’m not-“ James threw the snitch harder and struggled to catch it. “I haven’t fallen for anyone”
“So theirs a cute girl who you’re not supposed to think is cute?”
“No… not exactly” James sat up and faced his friend. “Do you ever feel like you shouldn’t find someone attractive because… everyone says that you’re not supposed to… and you’ll be weird if you are?”
“What are you trying to tell me James?”
“Like someone who it would be considered… unnatural to fancy, do you understand?”
”not at all”
“Do you ever… look at boys and think that… that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to kiss them?” He swallowed hard. “And are you going to get me if I do?”
“Oh…” Peter paused “you… you’re a… you like boys?”
“Not just boys, also girls… but also boys”. James tried to smile, but his heart seemed to pound out of his chests.
“Okay”
“You’re okay with that?”
“Why wouldn’t I be? If you like a bloke then you like a bloke, that’s not for me to decide”
“Okay…”
“So who’s the boy, then?” Peter asked.
“There isn’t one.”