Not Your Fate

"If you could eat anything in the world, what would you eat?"

"Dragon."

Evan gave Solene a weird look from the corner of his eye as he slowly put down his fork to digest what Solene had just said. "Sorry?"

Solene shrugged, swirling her juice in her goblet. "It seems like dragon would be tough but also taste good if cooked right."

"You're weird," Regulus said bluntly, not even looking up from his book.

"Huh." Barty tilted his head, eyes pointed skyward as he tried to imagine what the ferocious beast's meat would taste like. "Actually, yeah I don't think dragon would taste so bad."

Solene gestured towards Barty. "See? At least Barty agrees with me."

Evan sighed when they both gave each other a high-five, pinching his nose bridge. "I think B's been a bad influence on you, Solene.

Barty gave a dramatic gasp. "Me? A bad influence? Never!"

"I don't think you're a bad influence, Barty," Pandora said airily.

"Thank you Pandora!" Barty turned to stick a tongue out at his blonde soulmate, just narrowly blocking an elbow to his ribs.

Solene let out a quiet chuckle at their banter. Watching them interact and argue never failed to entertain her, and she got to appreciate it even more as she started to grow more and more comfortable with the group as the weeks went by.

It had been a few days since Solene had last had a proper interaction with the boys in Gryffindor. Ever since then, Lily Evans had been trying to approach her as well, most probably to speak to her for the boys, but she's avoided the gingerhead at every turn. For once, Lily had found someone who was smarter than her and has so far been unable to speak to her since Solene found out that she was very close to the Marauders.

Pandora had yet to tell Solene about Remus's intent to speak to her. She watched Solene's smiles slowly grow more genuine, her eyes slowly gain more life, and her eyebags slowly grow lighter. Solene started feeling unwell because of the boys in the first place. Was it really worth it to reconnect them?

Even as she asked herself this, Pandora knew the answer. She couldn't help but think that not letting Remus talk to Solene would be preventing something incredibly crucial from happening, and Pandora had learned to trust her gut when it came to these things.

The bell rang in the distance, signaling the end of their lunch and the start of their afternoon classes. They all simultaneously rose from their seats, the food and utensils vanishing from their table as they shouldered their bags and went to walk out of the Great Hall.

Pandora called out to Solene as the boys walked forward, making Solene stop to look at her.

"Walk with me," she said.

Solene rose an eyebrow in suspicion but ultimately decided to stay silent as she synched her steps with the Rosier as they parted ways with Regulus to head to History of Magic.

"Remus Lupin spoke to me a few days ago," Pandora said, going straight to the point.

Solene's breath hitched at the mention of the boy, the mark on her rib warming slightly at the thought of him. He was known to be the smarter, more logical one of their group of mischief-makers. He was a prefect along with Evans for their house, and he wasn't exactly an active one from what Solene could observe.

He was beautiful, especially with the white, uneven lines that trailed down his face.

Solene shook herself out of her thoughts to reply. "And?"

"He wants to talk to you," Pandora prompted. "Alone. He said that Black and Potter don't know about his intentions, and that he doesn't plan on telling them."

Solene scoffed, adjusting the bag on her shoulder. "And why does he think that I would actually want to talk to him?"

Pandora offered a light shrug. "I'm not exactly sure myself, but he was genuine. He also said that he didn't want to enforce anything upon you, but he just wanted you to listen to them before you decide to completely lock their existences out of your life."

"Sure." Solene didn't offer any other response than that.

Does she want to speak to him? Not really. She knew that interacting with them would only make this rejection thing even harder to bear, and although it would be painful, nothing would cause her more pain and loss than the day her soulmate bond would take a turn for the worse.

"I think you should go."

Solene's head snapped to the side to look at Pandora in disbelief. She didn't quite believe the words that came out of her mouth.

"I understand that you have your own reasons for not wanting to keep any contact with them," Pandora started before Solene could voice her protests, "but we were all in the situation you're in now — sure, we had different circumstances, but our motivations were the same. We thought that building up a wall would make it easier, but it only caused pain."

"It would be infinitely more hurtful if I let myself indulge in something that will obviously not last," Solene said viciously.

Pandora's eyes crinkled at the sides as her brows furrowed in pity. "We all thought that way too. Just because we're bound by fate to our soulmates doesn't guarantee a perfect or an eternal relationship, but everything is good while it lasts. It's up to us to make it last."

Solene let out a scoff, glancing down at her watch. They only had around two minutes to reach their classroom before classes started. "We better hurry up, or else we'll be late."

Pandora sighed at Solene's deflection of the topic, but she decided to finally drop it. She's done her part; whatever happened next was all up to Solene.

She just hoped that the girl would at least look at it from an objective perspective before caving into her instincts to fold in on herself and stop herself from experiencing something good.

~•~•~•~

Remus Lupin was nervous.

He waited in the empty Transfiguration classroom during the fifth-years' free period. Pandora Rosier had informed him that Solene wanted a date and time, and that date was today, and that time started quite a few minutes ago.

It wasn't even confirmed if the girl would be going there, but Remus refused to give up on hope just yet. Not after he saw the devastation the rejection caused on his lovers, the way their expressions were more crestfallen as of recently and they lost their enthusiasm in many things, even pranking other students.

He felt the exact same as them. Remus felt like his heart was torn out of his chest and put in front of the Whomping Willow to suffer from the prodding of its sharp branches. He felt like a bit of his world just broke off into smaller pieces, labeling lands as unreachable before he could even think to venture through them.

James and Sirius would hate him for doing this without them, but Remus knew that it was better this way. At least he knew he would be rational — the same couldn't be said for the other two boys.

Remus had no idea of the time other than Lily's watch when he had left. He couldn't wear one because it was always made of silver, which wasn't good for him, so all he could do was twist his fingers anxiously and wait in stifling silence.

Would she even want to talk to me? He thought, eyes glued to the door in anticipation.

He didn't know the reason behind Solene's prompt rejection, but he had a few guesses; after all, soulmate problems were not uncommon in this time, especially with witches and wizards from traditional pureblood families. Parents would constantly disregard the people their children were meant to be with and decided to set them up with other people to gain more influence and money. It was disgusting, but it was the unfortunate reality that many people faced, especially those in Slytherin.

Remus didn't know the reasons behind Solene's prompt rejection, but he knew better than anyone to give her the benefit of the doubt. It isn't an easy thing to willingly reject a soul bond.

She's not coming. Remus sighed dejectedly, picking up his bag beside him as he stood from the table he was resting on. He knew he should have kept his hopes down, but he couldn't help himself; he gave into hope.

He approached the door and swung it open to leave the room, barely managing to stop himself from stumbling into the person that stood outside.

The other person was unsuccessful in this task; they harshly bumped into his chest, making him stagger slightly as his limbs creaked slightly in protest.

Remus immediately knew who it was. Only a soulmate's touch would burn this way — painful and inviting all at once.

"Oh fuck — sorry," Solene Maxwell cleared her throat, backing up to put some distance between her and the boy. "Were you just about to leave?"

Remus took a moment to process her words and realize that she expected a response, so he hastily cleared his throat and replied. "Uh, yeah. I — Honestly, I wasn't sure if you were going to come."

Solene sighed. "Neither was I, but… here I am now."

"Here you are now," Remus echoed, brows furrowing at the awkward tension between them. Neither of them moved, Solene still halfway through the doorway and Remus still standing a few feet away from her.

Cementing his decision, he stepped aside to give her more space to enter. "Come on in."

Solene properly entered the classroom, and Remus closed the door behind her. He didn't want others eavesdropping on their conversation.

"So," the girl perched ontop of a table in the first row of chairs, her legs swinging slightly under her from the motion as she leaned on her palms beside her, staring at the boy. "Pandora told me you wanted to talk to me about our situation. She also told me to hear you out. Will you tell me something worth listening to, or will you just waste my time?"

Her own words stung Solene, but she kept her expression passive as she studied Remus Lupin. They were both similar in the sense that their movements were calculated and careful. Neither of them were going to give away what they were truly feeling through their actions, and that made a weird spark ignite in Solene.

Remus leaned on the teacher's table. "I know soulmate bonds aren't easy. Sirius and James know it too," he started.

Solene scoffed, opening her mouth to reply, but Remus put a hand up to stop her. Her mouth shut instinctively.

"Just… Let me speak." He let out a quiet sigh. The slight shakiness in the breath was the only thing that Solene needed to confirm that they were both feeling the same thing: nervous.

"When we first met here in Hogwarts, we didn't immediately… click." Remus's eyes glazed over as he recalled the memories. "Sirius was raised to believe that soulmates weren't real, James was raised to strongly believe the opposite, and I wasn't raised on the topic at all — I didn't even really understand the concept until I arrived here.

"I was raised in an orphanage. My dad left my mother and I, and the pain was too much for her to take. She died of a broken heart when I was six."

Solene felt a pinch of sympathy in her chest. His story had her full attention now, her body perfectly still as she listened intently to his words.

"I was in the orphanage until I was eleven, until Professor Dumbledore gave me the letter of acceptance himself and the promise of a better life in the world of magic."

Remus ran a hand through his hair, fingers lightly trailing over the scars on his forehead before they threaded through his brown locks. "All I knew about soulmates was that it caused people pain, just like it did with my mother. I was afraid that the same thing would happen to me, except worse because I had three soulmates. For a scary moment, I thought that it was true, when Sirius refused to believe that we were bonded together and started to avoid James and I at every turn."

Remus let out a chuckle, hollowed out from the bitterness the memories held. "It was James that changed his mind and brought us together. He was the one that made me realize that these bonds are worth fighting for, worth taking chances for.

"Look, I can't guarantee that everything will be sunshine and rainbows. There will be days where we'll argue, where we'll be so pissed at each other that we won't talk for days, but I can guarantee that those obstacles will be resolved, that we won't just give up on the bond because of a fight or disagreement."

Solene let out a breath, crossing her arms. "I'm sorry all that happened to you when you were younger," she started out softly, "but you can't guarantee anything in a soul bond, even the good. Especially the good."

The ringing in her ears returned. She would normally hate it, but it did a decent job of somewhat muffling the boy's voice.

Remus stood, desperation showing through the pinch of his brow and the downturn of his lips. "Please — if you're going to truly reject us, then give us a proper reason. Why are you so afraid? What are you afraid of, exactly? Us abandoning you? Us hurting you?"

"Yes, I'm afraid!" Solene stood up too, her arms falling to her sides as she stared at Remus defiantly. "I'm afraid of all of that! I'm afraid that I'll give in and believe your promises of happiness, only for them to be broken when you decide to leave!"

Remus was flabbergasted at the girl's outburst. "What makes you so sure that we'd leave you?" He sputtered.

"Because the happiest and most beautiful soul bond that I've ever seen in my life, the one I thought would last forever, ended in a tragedy." Solene spat the words out like venom, making Remus recoil at the hostility she displayed.

Solene stopped and took a deep breath to steady herself. The ringing was slowly getting more overwhelming, and she did not want to have another panic attack because of this stupid bond. "You want a reason? Well, here it is: my father and my mom loved each other more than anything else. They were both happy and everyone thought that they were truly made for each other, that they were people brought together by fate that not even fate can separate."

Solene saw flashes of memories from the corners of her eyes, felt them in her tingling fingertips, heard them in her ringing ears: warmth from suffocating hugs, laughter on the dinner table, storybooks read at bedtime.

Memories from a family that was always meant to be broken apart.

"He came home from work, and it all changed," Solene continued, her voice growing unsteady as thoughts from that night resurfaced: whether they were from her own recolletion or from her nightmares, it was hard to tell. They were both too real. "They argued about things I couldn't understand, and it got ugly."

Solene could still remember the way their home had dampened from the shouts the two parents threw at each other. She could have sworn that the walls and the floor started shaking from the weight of their words.

"He left, and my mom died of a broken heart, just like yours." Solene couldn't stop her body from shaking. "I was left with the duty of taking care of my family as my older brother continued his education in Hogwarts."

"I had to give up the opportunity to study because no one would be there to take care of the younger ones."

A smile so practiced no one knew the difference between that and a genuine one. "I'll be fine, Luke. You started your journey in Hogwarts, so you might as well finish it."

"I had to take on the crappy jobs with the even crappier hours so we could have food on our plates."

A sob torn from the throat of a child as she wiped the stains on the floor from her cut hand."I'm sorry, I won't break another plate again, just let me keep this job, please —"

"I was the one who had to stay strong, to not show even a sliver of weakness, because if I did, it would scare the kids and make them think that there was no hope for normality."

A cry, full of anguish and confusion and hunger. "Why did they leave us? What did we do wrong?"

Mechanical pats on backs and heads. "We didn't do anything wrong. We just have to keep living."

Solene laughed, the hollowness in the sound making Remus's eyes glassy. "I hate my parents for doing that to us, because it was their bond that broke, and yet it was us that had to deal with the blow. The court meetings, social workers, foster homes — a fucking endless stream of adults who are required to give a damn about our lives and submerge us in the technicalities and the facts about our situation when all we wanted was our mom and dad back."

The girl was breathing heavily once she finished her rant, her shoulders rising and falling with her breaths and her erratic heartbeat. She wasn't aware that tears had fallen from the corners of her eyes until she was done, and she felt the familiar disgust that curled in her stomach.

She raised her sleeve to furiously wipe it away, but a warm hand beat her to it, gentle fingers drifting across her cheek to remove the streaks.

The kindness, the empathy, the sadness in the touch was enough for more water to pool in her eyes. Her body wanted to lean into Remus's hand, and this time, she didn't deny its wishes, closing her eyes and letting herself melt into his palm.

"I'm truly sorry that you had to go through that," Remus spoke quietly, taking a deep breath to keep his emotions in check. "You didn't deserve all the hardship."

Solene didn't reply, afraid that her voice would come out as weak as she was feeling at the moment.

Remus took that as a sign to continue, raising his other hand to grasp Solene's left cheek. "What happened between your parents was tragic. It left a hole in your family that can never be filled, a wound that can never fully heal. Some things end in tragedies, but not all of them. Most of them turn out to be the most wonderful thing an individual can ever experience in their whole lives — only if they let it happen."

Remus's eyes darted between Solene's brown ones. "If you really don't want a soul bond with us… we'll respect your wishes. We'll give you the space you need, and we won't interact with you again unless necessary. If you're not sure yet, then please just give us one chance. That's all I'm asking for — all we want. Then you can make your decision, and we will respect it no matter what you choose."

Solene backed away from Remus's touch, and she felt a twinge of pain from the boy's crestfallen expression. She just needed to think straight, and she couldn't do that with her face cradled in his hands.

She thought of her parents, of the love they had and the happiness that was born from it. It truly was beautiful while it lasted.

Then she thought of her parents, of the heartbreak they caused each other on that dark day, the betrayal that stained the home that the kids left behind them.

Two paths, two endings. Both were real, and both could happen.

But, my dear readers, between you and I — we both already know what road she prefers.

"One chance," Solene echoed. The boy perked up immediately, eyes widening with surprise and hope. "One chance is all you'll get. We can be friends, but whether or not it will become anything more than that will be up to me to decide."

"And we'll respect whatever you choose," Remus repeated, making sure that it was clear that she could back out — no matter how much it would hurt the three boys to let her go.

Solene glanced down at her watch, eyebrows raising at the time that had passed. They were five minutes late for their next class.

She grabbed her bag from the table behind her and shouldered it. "I'll see you around, Lupin. Don't make me regret this."

The girl left without another word, giving Remus the freedom to grin as wide as his cheeks would allow. "We won't," he replied to the silence in the empty classroom. "I promise."