Not Your Fate

Lucas,

A lot has happened since the last time I wrote. I'm getting more settled into this school, and Jem's feeling the same way, though much stronger than me I think. I see him in the Great Hall, and he's having fun with his classmates, laughing and making noise. This is the happiest I've ever seen him in a while, and I'm glad that he's settling in well.

The lessons with the Headmaster are also going well. I'm getting a hang of wand-whooshing and spell-casting. I'm almost at the same level as my other classmates, so I suppose that's a sign that I can drop the extra lessons in the near future. They helped a lot, but they took up way too much of my free time.

Solene's quill paused, hanging over the piece of parchment. She pondered writing about the whole soulmates endeavor. Lucas was her brother and probably the closest friend she had, which makes her feel like she needed to tell him, but something held her back.

She continued writing.

I've been hearing a lot of talk about Quidditch — your rambling about the sport actually helped in my understanding of their conversations. It seems interesting, and I think there's going to be a tournament soon. I might go over and watch if I'm free. I wonder if playing Quidditch can help keep me in shape.

Say hi to the kids for me, and remind them to write to me to give Apollo the opportunity to stretch. He's a magnificent bird, and it'll be a shame if he doesn't get the chance for a long flight once in a while.

I'll write again soon enough. Take care.

Solene

Solene rolled up the parchment and attached it to the school bird waiting in front of her. Without another glance, the owl launched itself into the air and flew out of the Owlery to complete its job.

She tucked her hands into the deep pockets of her pants, her slightly numb fingers seeking refuge from the cold that encased the tower as she walked down the spiraling staircase to go to the Great Hall for some breakfast, humming a random tune under her breath.

"'Killer Queen?'"

Solene almost slipped from the sudden sound of a person's voice — or more specifically James Potter's voice — as he appeared on the end of the staircase, before the warmth of the castle crossed into the cold of the environment.

He was looking up at her with a soft yet polite smile, glasses low on his nose bridge and hair as messy as usual. He wore simple pants with a sweater and a jacket, along with a red scarf wrapped snugly around his neck. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," he said with a hint of amusement. "I just heard you humming Queen and I couldn't help myself."

Solene let out a breath, feeling the unfamiliar warmth in her stomach and not rejecting it for once. "My brother's been obsessed with them for a while," Solene said, not smiling but her face was relaxed. "It kind of just slowly infected the rest of us."

James nodded in approval, laughing slightly. "Your brother has good taste."

Solene's lips quirked up a bit, and James had to restrain himself from hollering in victory at eliciting a positive reaction from her.

Unfortunately, the moment didn't last long as Solene cleared her throat. "I better get going," she said, inclining her head slightly towards James as she walked around him to enter the castle. "See you around."

James waved at her back, unable to keep his wide grin away from his face as Solene turned a corner and went out of his line of vision.

Remus had briefed both him and Sirius on what he had talked about with Solene. Normally, James would struggle with following what people tell him to do, but he properly understood the consequences if he acted before thinking.

"She's only giving us one chance," Remus said, shifting the blanket on top of him to cover James too. "We'll try to be friends first, build a bond."

"Then what happens after that?" Sirius asked. He was still a little miffed about what happened with Solene, but James and Remus were well aware that his hesitance was not only because of the culture that he was raised with, but also the fact that Solene reminded him too much of himself when he first met the other two.

"It's up to her to decide," Remus said, combing his fingers through James' hair as the curly-haired boy nuzzled further into Sirius' chest. "And no matter what she chooses, we respect it."

"So if she decides that she doesn't want to be with us…" James started, but he left his sentence hanging in the air. They all knew what he meant: If Solene decided that she didn't want to be with them, then they would never approach her again. They would be completely cut out of her life, whether they liked it or not.

It was a horrifying thought for James. Having a good life with his soulmates was all James had wanted, ever since he was a little kid and he heard beautiful stories of soulmates from his parents. He couldn't imagine being separated from any of his soulmates for the rest of his life. It would be like seeing the world with a cracked lens, or making a vibrant painting and not being able to use a crucial color. Sure, the painting would still be beautiful with other colors, but the absence of one makes the painting look lacking; incomplete.

"That's right," Remus hummed. "Which is why we should make the most of the chance that we were given. We can't fuck this up."

"And we won't," James said firmly, tightening his hold around Sirius' middle and closing his eyes.

He'd rather die than fuck it up.

~•~•~•~

"So you're just friends for now?" Pandora repeated, looking at Solene with her wide eyes and transfixed gaze. Sometimes it felt uncomfortable to have the entirety of the girl's attention, but it wasn't like she had a choice since the boys had other lunch plans and left them alone at their spot in the Great Hall.

"Yes."

"And you will choose later on whether or not you want to commit to the bond."

"Yes."

Pandora studied her. Despite her large eyes, it was hard to read her expression. "And you're content with the setup?"

Solene took note of the way Pandora said "content" instead of "happy" and appreciated it, especially since the turmoil of emotions in Solene made it hard to figure out what exactly she was feeling about the whole situation.

"I suppose," Solene replied, bringing a piece of egg to her mouth. She chewed and swallowed before continuing. "It's just like the start of any possible relationship: they're sort of just… courting me, in a way?"

Pandora hummed, taking a sip of her juice. "If it makes any difference, you already seemed to have changed a bit since you've decided to give them a chance," the girl said bluntly.

Solene choked a bit on her food at that remark, coughing and drinking water to clear her airway. "How so?" Solene asked, her voice strained.

The blonde girl shrugged. "You seem more… centered. Like you figured out the answer to a big mystery in life but you're still confused what to do with your newfound knowledge."

"That's basically my situation, though," Solene pointed out.

"Perhaps," Pandora hummed, drinking more juice and letting silence encase the two girls as they consumed their food.

Their lunch ended earlier than Solene expected, stuffing the rest of her lunch in her mouth before standing up, shouldering her bag and walking beside Pandora to leave the Great Hall with the rest of the students there to return to their classes.

"Solene!"

Said girl turned around when she heard her name being called, and her eyes widened in surprise when she found herself facing a familiar face, one she had almost forgotten about. "Neo?"

The boy grinned. "I'm glad you still remember me. It feels like it's been ages since we last talked."

Pandora stood there, and Solene took notice of her waiting for her. "What's your next class?" Solene asked Neo.

"Charms," Neo replied, and Solene nodded.

"Same. We can walk to class together and catch up on the way, if you'd like," Solene suggested. She looked over at Pandora, smiling and gesturing at her to go ahead. Pandora tilted her head and disappeared into the crowd of students leaving the Great Hall.

The boy beamed. "Great! I wanna know how your first month in Hogwarts has been so far."

Solene blinked. Has it already been a month since she arrived in this school? A month since she's seen her family? Longing panged her chest, but it wasn't as intense as the first few days.

"It's been pretty decent," Solene replied, recovering from her thoughts. She left out the fact that she had met her soulmates, had two panic attacks, and was still having extra lessons with the headmaster to keep up with the curriculum without arousing suspicion about her enrollment. "How have you been?"

Neo shrugged. "It's the same thing every year, except it seems like everyone's already starting to prepare for OWLs, especially the Ravenclaws. The year literally just started, why are they so worked up about them already?"

"Well, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to over prepare for the tests, at least just a little bit," Solene chuckled, heading up the flight of stairs and stopping when the next few steps shifted in front of her. She was getting used to the odd quirks of the castle; the talking paintings, the vanishing steps, the poltergeists that occasionally passed through people and left them with the feeling of vertigo and discomfort.

Human nature was taking over her, and she was starting to see this school as the place most students viewed it as: a second home.

But, she wasn't at that level yet. Not quite. Not with the situation with her… soulmates still hanging over her head like a cloud that wouldn't go away unless dealt with accordingly.

"How has your House been?" Neo asked. He was obviously being careful to not sound mean, not that he wanted to be. "I know that there are people there who… aren't particularly nice. I hope they haven't been giving you a hard time."

Solene let out a breath of laughter. "No, I'm quite alright. I've made good friends in Slytherin — the non-violent kind, I think."

Neo nodded, smiling happily. "That's great!"

Solene forgot how refreshing it was to talk to Neo. Even though she only had one other conversation with him, he had a way of making her feel calm and unjudged.

"Are you planning on participating in the Quidditch tryouts for your house?" Neo questioned, letting out slightly heavier breaths as he started going up a new staircase.

Solene immediately shook her head. "No, I don't think I will."

Neo tilted his head, looking at her questioningly. "Why not?"

She already knew her answer, ever since Lucas first mentioned Quidditch to her: they didn't have the money to buy a broomstick, and there was no way that Solene would use a school-issued broom since the best one they have in stock is almost thirty years old and occasionally stops midair.

"I don't want to brawl with people seventy feet in the air and possibly get hit by a ball with its own conscience," Solene said instead.

"That's a very valid concern!" Neo laughed.

They finally arrived in the Charms classroom and entered together. Solene waved goodbye to Neo and sat beside Barty, since Pandora and Evan were in a different class today.

"Who's that?" Barty asked, his gaze scrutinizing as he looked at Neo chat with his seatmate who was a fellow Hufflepuff.

"That's Neo," Solene hummed, opening her book when Professor Flitwick entered the classroom and took his place on his pedestal of books to start the class. "I met him back on the carriages before the Welcoming Feast. I hadn't got the chance to talk to him again since then."

"Because of the whole soulmate thing." Barty said it as a statement rather than a question, and Solene just sighed instead of confirming. The ease her Slytherin friends had in reading her made Solene feel uneasy. Maybe it was because they were the same age and they had gone through the same struggles. Or maybe Solene was just having a harder time keeping things to herself in a new environment. Whichever one it was, she wasn't used to it at all.

"What's your situation with them, by the way?" Barty asked unconcernedly, carelessly waving his wand and giggling behind his fist when a random Hufflepuff's book flew up to hit their face.

"We're getting to know each other," Solene replied listlessly, eyes darting between her notes and the chalkboard as she copied down the things Professor Flitwick was writing despite not really listening to the discussion. "They're letting me get the feel of the bond first, then it'll be up to me to choose if I want to let it develop."

"Do you know what you want yet?" Barty said, leaning on his palm and looking at Solene. His eyes were wide and soft, watching her and observing her. Barty was probably the most observant one out of her friends, even more observant than Regulus. He could read emotions and expressions better than anyone, and Solene didn't know if she liked it when he directed his skills towards her.

"No," Solene answered truthfully. "But that's kind of the point of the whole 'trial stage', isn't it? It's to help me come to a decision, whether it's something they want or not."

"Right that," Barty nodded vehemently. He didn't really care about the Gryffindors, but he wanted Solene to choose what was best for her, whether it meant being with or rejecting her soulmates. He had severe attachment issues, and now that Solene was his friend, there was no way in hell she was going to let her get hurt because of the damn Marauders.

"Now," Professor Flitwick said, writing down his last words on the board before turning to look at his students. "It's time to try the Summoning Spell!"

The professor waved his wand, making pieces of cloth on top of a long table appear out of thin air.

"Your task is simple," he said jovially. "Summon a piece of cloth from the table from behind the second to the last row of desks. There are only fifteen pieces, while there are over twenty of you. The lucky fifteen that get a cloth using the Summoning Charm will get plus points on the next assessment."

Most students perked up from their reverie at that, now filled with the determination to be one of the few who get plus points.

"Start!" Flitwick said, hobbling out of the way as the room was filled with incantations of the charm.

Solene and Barty looked at each other for a moment, stone serious, then their faces broke into identical grins as they stood up with the rest of their classmates and whipped out their wands. They had a silently-agreed competition with one another: get a piece of cloth before the other.

And one thing that ran strong in Solene's family is competitiveness.

"Accio," Solene said, whipping her wand. It was when the cloth she was aiming for fell to the side of the table when she realized that their professor didn't exactly teach them how to use the charm.

She looked at Flitwick, and he met her gaze with a cheeky grin, like she knew exactly what she was thinking. Solene shook her head and scoffed out a laugh as Flitwick put her fallen cloth back on the table for her to try again.

Solene tried a different wand movement this time, one more swishy and graceful than the one she had used in her previous attempt.

"Accio."

Her cloth flew off of the table and went straight towards the group of students. Solene grinned, stretching out her hand to catch the cloth.

Only for it to sail right over her head to a person behind her.

"Better luck next time, Maxwell," Barty taunted, waving the cloth around in her face with a cackle.

Solene rolled her eyes, but she couldn't stop the smile from escaping past her annoyed facade. She turned back to the table and tried again, this time getting one of the last few cloths successfully.

"I'll get you next time, Junior," Solene said, playfully narrowing her eyes at Barty and making him laugh again. They both returned to their seats at the back of the classroom as they watched their classmates struggle to perform the charm.

"I'm assuming your extra lessons with the dear headmaster are paying off?" Barty pointed out, leaning back in his chair and kicking his feet up to rest on his desk.

Solene nodded. "I'm down to my last few meetings until he's fully confident that I can survive in the fifth-year on my own."

"No one ever survives this year even when they aren't alone," Barty said jokingly. "Except for me of course. I'm the smartest in this school." He whipped his nonexistent long hair behind him for emphasis, making Solene chuckle.

"Don't get too ahead of yourself, Junior, you're not in seventh year yet," she said.

Barty shrugged — his ego was very prominent through the gesture. "So? Our seniors aren't that smart. Sure they're older, but everyone in the fifth-year is older than me, and yet I do better than them. How is me compared to the seniors any different?"

Solene thought for a moment, before humming in agreement. "I can't really argue with you on that."

After what felt like an eternity, the last cloth was finally in the possession of Neo, which signified the ending of their Charms class.

"Don't forget to read about and practice the Summoning Charm over the weekend when you're not in Hogsmeade!" Professor Flitwick shouted over the screeching of chairs and shuffling of bags as students stood up to go to their next class. "Next week, we'll tackle the Banishing Charm if most of you have already gotten a hold of the Summoning Charm! Thank you!"

Solene walked beside Barty, listening to him rant about a Quidditch match during the World Cup that was reported about in the Daily Prophet.

"One day, I'll watch a finals match of the World Cup in person," Barty swore to himself, dramatically putting a hand over his heart to cement his oath.

"I have no doubt that someone with a passion for Quidditch like you would get to see a match live," Solene supplied, carefully stepping down the stairs as to not step on any trick ones on accident. They had to go a couple floors down to the Dungeons to get to their next class: Potions.

Solene had no qualms over Potions, despite not being exceptionally good at it. She did well enough to get a bit higher than average marks, which was already enough for her.

However, Potions was one of the few classes in Solene's week that she shared with Gryffindor, which meant that she would have to see James, Sirius, and Remus there as well.

It was a bit difficult to look them in the eye and have a proper conversation with any one of them without feeling a sense of awkwardness wash over her like a tidal wave. She normally didn't have trouble communicating with new people, but the fact that they were her soulmates and that they wanted to be with her made it a bit of a struggle to converse with them.

It appears luck was not on her side that day when Professor Slughorn said, "Slytherins and Gryffindors should sit beside each other for this activity."

She looked at Barty, and he held just as much distaste in his expression as she had expected. He absolutely despised having to talk to people from Gryffindor, mostly because they never treated his few friends properly and because they always thought they were so high and mighty.

"Try not to kill anyone while I'm gone," Solene muttered to Barty. She said it as a joke, but she wasn't entirely sure it was from the way Barty stomped his way to their usual seat at the back, except they wouldn't be sitting together this time.

Now Solene was stuck with the task of finding a place to sit. Most people were reluctantly filling in spaces, carefully avoiding eye contact with their seatmate. She mentally shuddered at the thought of being stuck in an awkward silence with someone for almost half an hour while brewing a potion.

She had only taken a few steps when she was pulled down into a chair. She stumbled slightly from the sudden force, but she was able to steady herself before she slid out of it due to her book bag taking up most of the sitting space behind her.

"Apologies for suddenly making you my seatmate, but I don't quite like the looks I'm getting from your girl housemates," a lilting voice said amusingly, and Solene turned and greatly suppressed the sudden urge to bury her face in her arms and never resurface: it was Sirius.

Out of the three of them, Sirius was the one that made her the most nervous. It was ironic, since it was normally Remus who held the reputation of making others feel like they're being psycho-analyzed — well, they aren't wrong when they say that Remus had that effect, but Solene felt it more prominently with Sirius.

Mainly because he had lashed out at her when their first attempt at confronting her about their bond had gone sideways.

Since then, neither made a move to talk to each other — up until now it seems.

Solene barely knew Sirius, but she could tell almost immediately that his expression wasn't genuine, although it was quite hard to tell the difference; his lips were upturned into an easy smile, his brows and his posture relaxed, but his eyes were anything but.

Humans could fabricate the images that their other body parts convey, but it was an entirely different art to manipulate the emotions that their eyes would show. They could reveal all your secrets or hold them to the strongest silence, depending on how much you want to show.

It seemed that Sirius Black, the pretty boy of Gryffindor, wasn't used to being ogled at so intensely with anything other than adoration or malice: just… caution. His posture of calmness slowly began to crumble under Solene's gaze, a gaze that the girl herself didn't realize was quite heavy. His brows furrowed very slightly and his shoulders tensed in discomfort.

Finally, Solene seemed to snap out of her trance. "Sorry," she said quietly, facing forward and listening to Professor Slughorn as he began to give out instructions.

"You must create a cauldron-full of Pepperup Potion," he explained.

"But our books only give the proportions for six vials, sir," Lily Evans said with her hand raised in the air, sounding very puzzled.

"That will be your challenge today," the old man said, going to the chair behind the teacher's table and taking a seat. "You must adjust the amount of the ingredients to fit a whole cauldron-full."

There were resounding groans from the students, and Solene resisted the urge to roll her eyes. It was just simple math.

"You may begin now," Slughorn said, waving his wand and making the ingredient cabinet behind him open.

"So," Sirius trailed off, looking at her, "what's our strategy?"

Solene simply took her textbook and looked for the recipe for the Pepperup Potion. "It's just math," Solene muttered, mostly to herself than to Sirius. Once she found the ingredients and their proportions, she took out a piece of paper and a quill from her bag and started multiplying.

Sirius felt a little awkward doing nothing while Solene worked on the amounts. He was a pureblood wizard that wasn't really familiar with Muggle Science or Math. Remus tried to teach him the basics of multiplication and division, but it still confused him a little bit.

"Do you… need any help?" The boy hated feeling this awkward. He wasn't used to someone who wasn't trying to talk to him or actively avoid him. He wasn't accepted or rejected, just… ignored.

It didn't sit right with him, especially as the mark on his shoulder blade warmed underneath his clothes.

"Um…" Solene trailed off, her mind divided between replying to the boy and finishing her math. "You can get these ingredients already." She tore off what she wrote and handed it to Sirius. "You can get more, if ever."

Sirius nodded stiffly before leaving to accomplish his task. Solene let out a quiet sigh, leaning back in her chair and looking over her shoulder to look at Barty's progress with his partner. From what she could observe, it wasn't going too well; Barty rolled his eyes almost every time Remus spoke in what seemed like an argumentative tone, which made Solene worry that his eyes might actually get stuck to the back of his head if he continued.

Well, it could have been worse…? Solene thought, trying to stay optimistic.

When Sirius came back with the ingredients and they actually started brewing, they were stuck in a silence that neither could shake off. Words got caught in the backs of their throats and refused to come out, leaving them tense and wary of each other.

One of the only words exchanged between them was when Sirius was about to fuck up their potion.

"Wait!" Solene's hand darted out and grabbed his wrist before he could dump the leaves in. "That's too much."

Sirius rose an eyebrow, feeling annoyance creep under his skin despite the warmth spread through his body when she held him. "I know how to follow instructions, and this is the amount that you had me get, is it not?" He shot back. He immediately regretted it when the words left his mouth, and he wanted to sink his head into their concoction and let the boiling water drown him.

His snarky tone made Solene frown and make the coldness reappear in her features. "My apologies, but I didn't take into consideration that the portion of Ripple Leaves is supposed to be lessened instead of added onto when brewing large amounts," she replied icily. The unnecessary formality of her words caused a barely restrainable flinch to rush across Sirius's body.

Solene felt taken aback at the sudden rudeness from the Black boy, but she should have expected it. He was the only one that was more angry than sad when she had initially rejected the three boys. What if he was the only one that didn't want her in the bond? Resentment between soulmates could cause rifts that may never be repaired.

A simple statement was enough to send Solene into an internal spiral that caused her to revert back to her default mechanism: making the walls around her stronger and even higher than before.

Goddammit Pads, get it together, he internally scolded himself as Solene snatched the leaves from his grasp and added the proper amount. You cannot be the reason that this bond fails.

After that, Solene stopped asking him for help and just brewed the potion as fast as possible, adding ingredients and stirring with added vigor as to get away from Sirius Black.

The awkwardness he felt from not doing anything didn't escape Solene's sharp gaze, and she felt a cruel sense of satisfaction settle in her chest. Good, she thought as she added the final ingredient to the mixture and stirred for the last time.

Once they were done, Solene collected a sample in a medium-sized vial and gave it to Professor Slughorn before making the contents of their cauldron disappear with a practiced wave of his wand.

She didn't even spare Sirius a glance as she left the classroom without a word, like he didn't exist.

Sirius felt his chest tighten in horrible regret as he stared at the doorway where Solene just was. He truly didn't meant to be mean, but it was hard to move away from old habits when they were so harshly drilled into him during his childhood.

Barty noticed their interaction, scoffing at the patheticness shown from one of the "golden boys" of Hogwarts.

"Idiot," he muttered, refocusing on his task and peering into his cauldron.

"Excuse me?" Remus said, looking up at him from his battered textbook. Barty shrugged and said nothing in reply, making Remus let out a quiet huff as he turned back to the instructions so Barty wouldn't purposefully botch their potion up.

Sirius shouldered his bag and walked out of the classroom, running a hand down his face and letting out a painful groan.

"This 'gaining her favor' is off to a terrific start," he murmured to himself, heading up the stairs towards the Gryffindor Common Room was so he could bury his face into his pillow and scream out his frustrations properly.

Meanwhile, Solene sat herself on one of the stone benches leaning on the walls of the castle, her book bag beside her as she evened out her breaths to control the annoyance and anger bubbling inside her.

She gave them a chance to reconcile with her and possibly even convince her to properly participate in the bond that they all shared, but she was starting to doubt if this was the right choice.

But her mind traveled back to her parents, and how lovely their bond was before it all went wrong. It was something that seemed to be worth fighting for, right?

Besides, if there was one thing that raising her four younger siblings has taught her was that sometimes, its the third chance that counts.

You just have to give it time.

(Because time had the ability to make everything either better… or worse.)