Hogwarts hoes
HOGWARTS HOES
Pandora: (pan)dora
Evan: rose/ rosie
Barty: bert/ barts
Dorcas: cas
Marlene: marls
James: jamie
Sirius: siri/gay
Remus: remus
Peter: pete
Regulus: regulus a. black/ reg
Benjy: ben
Mary: mar
Emmeline: emme
Alice: al
Frank: frank
Lily: lils
Emma: em
Bert: what does sirius even have?
Siri: what
?
What do you mean
Bert: like
What is your diagnosis?
Siri: there is nothing wrong with me
Im normal
Bert: ok pathological liar and?
*bert changed siri to gay*
Gay: OI
Remus: as if youre not gay
Gay: ...
Marls: going to start calling people's opinions of me fan theories
Cas: are you not embarrassed
?
Marls: fan behavior fr fr
Cas: bitch
Mar: le gasp
Gay: some dude in Madagascar needs my money for a dowry for his girl
Now
Who am i to get in the way of true love
Regulus a. black: goodbye
Disowning you right this second
No more access to the family bank account
Gay: REGGIE
NO
YOURE ALL I HAVE LEFT
Jamie: ow.
Gay: sorry prongsie
Love you
Jamie: ilyt pads
<3
BUT
I GET THOSE EMAILS ALL THE TIME
IM HAPPY THERE IS SO MUCH LOVE GOING AROUND IN MADAGASCAR
Regulus a. black: are you all fucking stupid
??
Genuine question
Remus: no.
Regulus a. black: no youre actually cool
Remus: correct
Marls: they are not gay
They dont deserve your money
Pete: straight phobic much
Marls: yes.
If they were lesbians?
OMFG YES GIRL
TAKE MY BANK ACCOUNT
GO GET BITCHES
Mar: this wasnt on this years bingo card
...
Lils: it was on mine
Bert: what if
HYPOTHETICALLY
I like danger and sending people my personal information excites me
?
Rose: freak
You need therapy
Gay: nah
Im feeling you crouch
Bert: thank you thank you
Finally getting the love i deserve
Rose: you deserve electric chair
<3
Barty and evan
Barts: OMFG
DORCAS
HE IS SENDING ME HEARTS
Rosie: what?
Who is?
Barty?
Barts: oh
Oh my god
Sorry ev
Wrong person
Rosie: ok?
...
HOGWARTS HOES
Ben: ...
Awkward silence....
Gay: ACTUALLY
I had a dream last night
Remus: oh no
Gay: shut up
I used a homophobic fridge and it kept calling me a gay lazy slut
JUST BECAUSE I WAS LEANING AGAINST THE DOOR
Emme: that was me actually
Whispering in your ear
Gay: what the fuck
Emme?
(pan)dora: LMAOFSKJHFKAJK
Regulus a. black: pandora
Hiii
(pan)dora: reggieeee
Hiiiii <3
Jamie: new couple
?
(pan)dora: no
Jealous potter?
Jamie: what?
No?
Ofcourse not
Pete: alrrrr
Em: barty scares me
Bert: WHAT
IM A SWEET PURE LITTLE SOUL HOW DARE YOU
Rose: lies.
Capping
Regulus a. black: i hope me evan and barty will join a hate group and then me and evan die and barty gets arrested and then he slowly goes insane until he dies.