Do they kiss?
Sept 23rd
“Regulus?” James said quietly
“Hmm?” Regulus hummed in response
“Why were you up bet that night?”
Regulus paused for a moment, sitting silently before speaking.
“I was looking at his star. You know, I may know him again,
live with him, but I still miss him. I miss being able to have a conversation without fighting. I think he sometimes forgets I’m not like them-like our parents.”
“By his star, you mean Sirius’s right?”
“Yeah, Sirius’s.” There’s more silence.
“Why were you here that night then?”
Regulus asks later.
James falters, he can’t tell the truth, no one can ever know the truth.
“Regulus, you know me” says James,
plastering a big, fake smile on his face.
“Hmm, I’m not so sure I do” Regulus replies, staring at James’ smile, with an odd look in his eye.
“I-“ he tries to speak, instead getting cut
off.
“Just tell me why you were actually here”
“ I came up here to kill myself” James says
With a blank expression.
“Oh, James” Regulus looks sad,
James noticed. Which is odd. He used to hate me, out of all people, I thought he’d be happy.
“James, I wouldn’t be happy. I don’t hate
you.” He hadn’t realized he’d said it aloud, and at that moment, James finally let himself cry-no sob in front of someone. For the first time since he was a little child.
No not a small joyful cry, but one
wracked with emotion so far back
in his memory, that he hadn’t realized he’d
carried any of it at all anymore.
And Regulus, just held him, held him in a way, that made him feel like he would never be held in such a way again.
So delicate, so simple it felt like
it was muscle memory.
“James, I promise you, no one would ever want you dead.
You’re the person that makes people
lives worth living when they’re at their lowest.You’re the sun.”
Regulus said his voice filled with pleading emotion.
“I don’t know if I can be that person
anymore. I’m always so tired, I feel like I’m
slowly killing myself, slowly going mad with anxiety.”
James says through tears, although his
crying starts to slow.
“James, I can help you, we all can,
You’re not alone. People won’t despise you for needing help.”
Regulus says, touching James's cheek as he sits back up in front of him cross legged,
in front of him.
His cheeks were stained with tears, eyes red
and blurry.
“Thank you”
They stared at each other for a long time,
or what they thought was a long time. And moments later they were leaning in.
He doesn’t know who initiated it, but
in the end it doesn’t really
matter anyway.
It was a small thing, but Regulus would
treasure it forever.
“Oh I’m so sorry. I didn’t ask, I just leaned
in and you probably didn’t even want that.
I should have asked.”
Regulus said after a moment realizing.
But when he looked up,
all he saw was James looking at him with
A smile, a real one. And Regulus thinks to
himself.
Even if this doesn’t work out, I’ll keep
these memories for a life time.
“I love you James”