II
Remus can't focus at all, he normally does better under stress but not today. He desperately wants to skip to the next day, when everything is said and done. He has decided that he’s going to break up with Sirius at tonight's Slytherin Quidditch party so that Sirius can distract himself after. Remus tries to recollect his thoughts, anything to take his mind off of the upcoming hours.
“Mr. Lupin.” Remus faintly hears. “Mr. Lupin!”
That gets Remus’ attention, he snaps his head up to face Professor Slughorn. The Professor looks at him expantly.
“I’m sorry, what was the question?”
“I asked what the purpose of a Pepperup Potion is?” Slughorn repeats.
Remus answers correctly, earning a shoulder bump from Peter next to him. Remus smiles quickly, looking over at him and doing the same back.
Remus smiles as he enters the Slytherin common room with James next to him. Remus immediately spots Sirius in the crowd, dancing with Dorcas and Lily. Remus feels his heart race as he becomes completely entranced by his lover, the way he moves his body to the music, the way he smiles and energetically talks to the 2 girls. Sirius spots Remus, dancing over to him, he wraps his arms around Remus’ neck and pulls him into a kiss, he tastes like smoke and beer.
“You’re here!” He cheers, obviously tipsy.
“I am.” Remus smiles, nearly forgetting about what the night has in store.
“Come on, let's go get drinks and then we can hang out.” Sirius grabs Remus’ hand and drags him over to the beer.
Sirius cracks open 2 cans of beer and hands one to Remus. Remus takes it graciously as Sirius leads him up the stairs and into the hallway where James, Peter, and Regulus are.
“Hey! Padfoot, Moony!” James calls, lifting his drink.
Peter and Regulus turn and wave as they stop in front of them, joining in on the conversation. Remus listens and chimes in every once and a while with a joke or his opinion. He’s having fun, that is until 2 words are whispered into his brain.
Break up.
Remus’ mood immediately changes into a feeling of sadness and guilt as he remembers his conversation with Walburga the 3 weeks prior, during Spring break.
Remus sat silently at the dining room table with Walburga Black. Her cold eyes settled on Remus’ figure as he looked at the table in front of him.
“Now Remus, I do not wish to do this but it must be done.” Fake guilt hung heavily on each of her words. “My son, Sirius, is the only rightful heir to the Noble House of Black. He has a bright future ahead of him as he will be the strongest Head this house will ever have. And as his mother, I will not let anything stand in his way, including a school fling.”
Remus flinched at the word ‘fling’. He wouldn’t exactly classify their year-long relationship as a ‘school fling’. He looked up, his sage colored eyes met her chocolate colored ones.
“I will not have my family- and sons- name ruined because of a mistake. Sirius is young, he is confused about what he wants. He needs to realize that it is in his best interest- and yours- to end this relationship and take his rightful place in the House of Black. But he can’t, not as long as you are standing in his way.” She snarled. “You are a Werewolf and He is a Black, you will never last.”
Walburga stood up from her spot at the table and walked over to Remus. She put a hand on his shoulder lightly.
“It’ll be better this way.” She whispered, exiting the room.
Remus sat in silence, contemplating her words slowly. Was Walburga right? Was he holding Sirius back? Would Sirius and him actually work? Too many thoughts ran through his head as he stood up, leaving through the same door Walburga Black had.
“Hey Pads? Can I talk to you for a minute?” Remus hesitates.
Sirius turns away from his conversation with James to face him.
“Sure.” He smiles and nods, pulling them into a dorm so they can have some privacy.
Remus starts sweating profusely as he shuts the door behind them. Sirius sits on the bed, crossing his legs and facing remus. Fuck. Remus thinks as his eyes trail down Sirius’ body. He watches as his white button down falls perfectly, showing just the right amount of chest, and as his pants mold to his body, revealing his curves.
“What did you want to talk about?” Sirius asks
innocently.
Fuuuuck. Remus is so screwed.
“Um, it’s- important.” Remus swallows heavily.
“You know you can tell me anything, Moons.” Sirius reassures.
“Yea, but it’s, um, different, Sirius.”
“Oh.” Sirius stills, noticing the use of his real name instead of ‘Padfoot’ or ‘Pads’. “Okay.”
“Okay, look- uh- i love you, a lot, but i'm not sure if this is a good idea anymore.” Remus trailed off.
“What?” Sirius stands up, grabbing Remus’ hand.
“I don't think we should be together anymore, as a couple.” Remus says through his teeth.
He hates this, he hates every moment of it, he wants to take everything back, say he’s joking or something.
he doesn’t.
“Remus, what? What the fuck are you saying?!” Sirius snapped, tears welling up in his eyes.
“Sirius, I- I want to break up.” Remus spits, tasting the venom on his tongue.
Siris lets go of Remus’ hand, he stumbles at the loss of contact. Sirius staggers back, looking at Remus with a hostile glare and cold eyes. Almost like Walburga’s, something says in the back of Remus’ mind.
“Are you joking? Because if you are, this is a pretty fucked up prank.” Sirius seethes.
“I’m being serious. We were never going to last. We’re so different, I don't know why we ever started dating in the first place.” Remus unconsciously says the last part, not realizing the damage it has done.
Sirius freezes and everything stops, the anger in his eyes turns into a look of betrayal and sadness.
“What the fuck?! Why would you say that, you bitch! You never wanted to date me?! I spilled my heart out to you, I finally let myself feel loved, I even invited you into my fucked up household because I trusted you! But you were playing me? For a fucking year!” Sirius sobs, banging his hand on Remus’ chest.
“Sirius, no, that’s not what I mea-.” Remus tries, grabbing Sirius' wrists so he can’t hit him anymore.
“No, no, no. I know exactly what you meant.” Sirius rips his hands from Remus’ grasp, and heads towards the door.
“Sirius-!” Remus yells as Sirius slams the door behind him.
Remus loudly sighs, waiting a few minutes before also leaving the dorm, also leaving the party.
As he enters the Gryffindor tower, he realizes no one is here, everyone is at that god forsaken party. Remus makes his way to his dorm, not bothering to change as he flops down on his bed crying. He lays there, letting tiny, silent sobs escape from his lips as he cries himself to sleep for the second night in a row.