Sweet Sights And Dreams of Childhood
You were a small little thing. Bundled in warm, soft blankets with little tufts of honey blond clinging to your head. You were perfect in your parents’ eyes. Their precious little boy, their little miracle.
You were born in early winter. Where the final leaves of autumn had left the branches and tiny snowflakes begin to rain down. The doctors had said you wouldn’t make it. You were born too late even with the help of magic; your heart was too weak and the doctors would’ve announced you didn’t make it.
Adding to another grave to your mother’s poor heart. But no, here you were clinging to life, screaming your little head off as if to prove them wrong. As if to say “I’m here and I’m alive.”
The doctors cleaned you with water and you nestle yourself upon your mother’s embrace. Her tears of joy reach you head as she presses you close.
“My baby. My little star.” Your mother whispers oh so softly against your head. You feel her fingers brushing your hair gently, she touches you like someone who had thought her baby wouldn’t breathe their first breath. You slowly fall asleep beneath her gentle hand.
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In one of your earliest memories, Mother holds you close to her bosom. Rocking along the old rocking chair in your nursery, facing the window. The moon shines high up in the clouds, its gentle light caressing both of your forms.
"Orion will be Heir to House Black. But you, Asterion, shall be mine...” Your mother whispers to you, tone loving and sweet.
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Your childhood this second time is sweet, ─almost dream-like─ you fervently whisper beneath silk covers. A culture shock too, one might say when one has memories of a future much advanced than this. Yet there was something else, something different that is often seen in your childhood. Magic. Living, breathing, changing, coiling. A familiar presence, loving and warm. Warm like Mother, loving like Father, curious like Sister, wild like Brother. The magic found in you reminds you of family.
Days were spent playing in gardens fit for royalty, running after critters found in bushes until the governess calls, laying under century-old trees with your siblings and enjoying the cool breeze. There used to be only yourself in the life of Before. In this life, there are Orions, Lucretias, Abraxases and Theodreds who would drag you around the gardens, takes you to the libraries, all happy and glad to have you here with them.
You find yourself exploring the gardens with your brother Orion, chasing bowtruckles and pixies, excitable laughter bubbling from your mouths. You sit with Lucretia at the piano, feeling content as your sister tries to teach you how to play. You play wizarding chess with Abraxas, feeling amused at his insistence in letting you win. You hide with Theodred in the library, giggling hysterically to yourselves as you both listen to the sounds of your pranks bearing fruit.
You enjoy life to the fullest, cherishing each memorable moment deep in your heart. You love your family, you love your friends. You love life, in all of ups and downs, you adore it.
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In this world, different from your past, your family is different. In Before, you had a neglectful mother with an absent father and a brother who ran away. No one liked you, as a child and as an adult. You were too weird, too different, too Other. With choppy black hair, too wide eyes and your ghostly complexion.
Not even your personality was lovable, they say you were too quiet. You try to be loud, they call you noisy. You were too gloomy, you try to be more joyful, they call you annoying. You were too antisocial, you try to be friendly, they call you naïve. You were boring, you try to be more fun but they call you irresponsible and reckless.
Nothing worked. No one stuck around to know the boy who was too gloomy; who wore cheap clothes and always hid during recess. Less said about high school and college the better.
But here? Everything was different. Here, you have a mother who would shower you with love and attention, always ready to drop anything for you, who tucks you in bed, kisses your forehead and wishes you goodnight. She takes time outside of her day to help you with arts and crafts as you develop a talent for them. You love painting with your Mother, Mama, in the gardens, in the art room, and everywhere else. She doesn’t scold you if you make a mistake but gently tells you your mistake and teaches you how to fix it. “That is a wonderful painting, mi tesoro. You’re getting better each day.”
Here, you have a father who joins your games, lets you sneak inside his study and lets you talk and talk, a father who sometimes join in your exploration adventures in the gardens where you find things for your treasure trove. A childish thing your father in Before says but Father, Papa, says otherwise. He helps you collect anything that catches your eye and shows you, his own collection of treasures which he collected through the years. From books to quills to even little statues. You call those figurines and Papa says “That’s right, my Polaris, these are called figurines.”
You have a sister who lets you hide from your governess when you don’t want to go your lessons, who makes flower crowns and flower bracelets with you in the garden, who reads you the classics whenever you’re bored. But the thing you love doing with Lucretia the most, is playing instruments. You and your sister could spend all day in the music room, playing music away as the day turns night. Lucretia teaches you how to play a lot of instruments, from the piano to the violin to the flute. Sometimes, you just sit inside the music room and listen to your sister play her favorite songs on the piano. “Running away from your lessons again, Zaychik?”
You have a brother who wouldn’t ran away, both of you were thick as thieves, a big brother who chases you in the gardens as both you laugh, a brother who lets you sleep in his bed when you get lonely in your much too big bed. You and your big brother, Orion were as close as twins since he was the closest to your age with only eleven and a half months keeping you apart. Whenever both you and Orion didn’t want to attend your lessons, both of you sneak off into your secret place. It was a hidden nook in one of the gardens with an entrance that connects with the main building. Rarely would anyone find you both when you’re there and it’s a secret that only you and Orion know. “Come on, Solnyshko! To our garden!”
You love your family and you know they love you too. That was enough for the little boy who was too gloomy, too quiet, and too other who only wanted love.