Eleven
30th October 1976
Are we falling like snow at the beach?
Weird but fuckin' beautiful
Flying in a dream, stars by the pocketful
You wanting me tonight feels impossible
James
James was full of anxious energy, though he wasn’t entirely sure as to why. It was five-thirty and he’d just run down every step in the astronomy tower and all the way out to the field, he was almost certain he would have the fittest legs in their year if he kept up this specific morning routine. He’d long since decided that today would be the day, today he would ask Regulus if he would come to the Halloween party hosted in Gryffindor tower. Though, to be fair, he’d been putting it off and had run out of chances as the party was later that night.
“His friends are already going to be there, it isn’t that big of a deal,” James had been pacing across the field mumbling these same words to himself for the last thirty seconds like a madman.
“What isn’t that big of a deal?” Well, shit. Regulus had made his way down to the field and was standing there, hip cocked out and brow pulled up in question, a playful smirk on his lips and laughter clear in his eyes.
“Oh! Regulus, hi!”
“Surprised to see me, Potter?” Bollocks, he really was going to make an absolute arse of himself.
“No, uh well, I just,” he paused and took a breath. It’s just Regulus, nothing intimidating. “We’re throwing a Halloween party tonight.” He rushed out all at once.
“I’m aware,” the obvious humour had not left his tone.
“Well, I was wondering if you maybe wanted to come? I know Dorcas and Pandora are already coming, and Barty and Evan are welcome too!” James was shuffling his feet and squeezing the tip of his thumb in between his fingers repeatedly like he did when he was particularly nervous about something.
“Does my brother know you’re inviting me?” The humour was gone but his smile hadn’t left, though it did appear as though he were trying to control it.
“No, but well, technically it’s open to anyone, we don’t exactly have a guest list, it’s just word of mouth and whoever wants to come can come. So, it’s not exactly like he isn’t aware that you could be there. Besides, it’s Halloween, you could wear a mask or something and he’d never have to know.” James attempted to shrug and be nonchalant about the entire ordeal despite the fact that his mind was absolutely screaming at him.
“I’ll consider it, Potter.” Regulus answered, and that was the last they spoke of it, spending the rest of their morning having their typical practice.
That evening James, the rest of the Marauders, and the girls were all gathered in the common room setting up for the impending celebration. Sirius and Remus were on opposite sides of the room, the tension between them had somehow been both more and less than it had been the entire semester in a way James hadn’t considered possible. They were tasked with casting cobwebs into the corners and walls of the room, an activity that didn’t require them to interact or even look at one another which seemed to dishearten Sirius even more. Peter was in charge of setting up tables and sneaking snacks and beverages from the house elves in the kitchens, who were all too excited to provide for another of their parties.
Lily and Marlene were set to enchant fake bats to fly around above their heads, something they had insisted would add to the ambiance. Mary was trying to figure out the enchanted ceiling, she’d been reading up on how to do it all week and was almost certain she’d be able to get them something at least almost as realistic as the one in the Great Hall. James was charged with transfiguring the furniture into more festive versions of what they already had as well as carving and floating the pumpkins they’d gotten from Hagrid’s pumpkin patch which the caretaker was all too pleased to provide for them.
“I got it!” He heard Mary exclaim, though he didn’t bother to look up as he was far too focused on transfiguring one of the giant armchairs into a gothic looking highback. Next he heard a harsh gasp coming from where Remus had been last time James had looked up, causing him to lift his eyes to his friend. He was standing there, eyes full of horror and mouth agape, staring at the ceiling. Before James could follow his eyes to where he was looking, he heard Sirius gasp as well.
“Change it,” Sirius practically growled.
“What?” Mary was aghast, James’s eyes snapped to the ceiling and he came face to face with a full moon.
“I said fucking change it Mary,” Sirius didn’t let any of the clear anger out of his tone.
“Why?” Now Mary was getting visibly upset, Lily glanced away from the bats she’d just enchanted and saw the moon, her eyes widening at the sight.
“Can we do a crescent moon instead, Mare?” Lily asked lightly, clearly trying to diffuse the tension.
“But I’ve just spent ages on this one!”
“I don’t care if it's taken your whole bloody life, change the damn moon,” Sirius was on the cusp of exploding, something James had grown accustomed to watching out for over the years. He glanced over at Remus and saw that the colour had drained from his face and he was looking nearly sick, his breaths were coming out in pants and he looked like he might be on the verge of a full-blown meltdown.
“It’s just a moon Sirius, it’s not that big of a deal!”
“Then it won’t be that big of a deal to change it!” The two were shouting at one another, moving closer across the common room until they were practically nose-to-nose.
“Mary, let’s just change it, yeah? I’ll help you,” James offered, standing and putting physical distance between Sirius and Mary before subtly indicating to Sirius to focus on Remus who looked like he was getting closer to passing out with every second that passed. Luckily Sirius got the message and backed away.
“Make it a crescent moon, fits Halloween more anyways,” Sirius shot over his shoulder, voice dripping in venom.
“I just don’t understand what’s wrong with it,” Mary huffed but didn’t protest anymore as James had already started casting the spell to change it with the assistance of Lily. Sirius had made it over to Remus and was coaxing him quietly to breathe along with him, putting an end to the episode he was slowly working himself into.
“Sirius hates the full moon,” James made a show of lowering his voice as though he were trying to make sure they weren’t overheard.
“Why?”
“There was a full moon out the first night his mother really hurt him, it reminds him of that.” Lily provided when James was thinking a moment too long.
“Oh no, I had no idea,” Mary’s face fell and she looked like she genuinely felt extremely guilty.
“It’s okay Mary, he doesn’t really talk about it much,” James tried to reassure her.
“We’ll just change it and it’ll be okay,” Lily replied in that soothing tone of hers that would probably calm even the most agitated hippogriff. By the time the three of them managed to change the moon into a glowing crescent, Remus and Sirius had moved into one of the far corners and were slowly conjuring an intricate spider-web together, Sirius’s non-wand hand rubbing soothing circles on Remus’s back.
By the time they’d finished with all of the set-up required for the party, they only had just enough time to get ready before it would start. The boys luckily didn’t have nearly as much to do as the girls, who all had put their hair in rollers about halfway through set-up, something about needing them to set for as long as possible for “maximum curl” or something. James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter had gone the easy route that year, they’d be doing a group costume and going as The Beatles, though James really couldn’t remember who was who.
There was an anxious energy bubbling in his stomach, flipping and turning far worse than it had before any quidditch match, though he couldn’t discern why. The girls filed into the common room just a few minutes before the party was set to start, and though James would never admit it out loud, the prep they’d done had really been worth it. Marlene was dressed as someone called Valerie Smith from some muggle show she’d watched over the summer at Lily’s. Mary was dressed in a long robe with a pointed hat, hooked nose covered in warts and a long silvery wig claiming to be a witch.
Lily took James’s breath away though. She was dressed in a long, flowing emerald green dress with long billowing sleeves. There was a gold chain that encircled her torso in an intricate pattern and her curls were curled and laid over her head and flowing down her back in a way that practically made her look angelic. There was a crown placed delicately amongst her curls, gold with emeralds and diamonds laid in, making her look like a princess from a painting.
“Wow, Lils, you look incredible,” Remus was the first to speak, he walked right over to her, took her hand and twirled her twice so the skirts of her dress billowed outwards and her hair flew around her mesmerizingly.
“It’s all Pandora’s,” her cheeks went as red as her hair.
“Well, thank her for all of us when she gets here,” Sirius spoke next, taking her hand and placing a delicate kiss on the back.
“Absolutely, stunning,” was all James could manage, because of course his words would fail him now of all times. “All of you are really.”
“Thank you James, I already knew that of course but it’s always nice to hear,” Mary replied with a teasing wink, throwing her hair over her shoulder. They didn’t have much time to talk after that though as knocks sounded at the entrance to the Gryffindor common room and group after group of students began filing in. Before long James found himself bouncing from group to group, different drinks in his hands from one moment to the next and a lightness he hadn’t felt in months buoying him.
The common room was far more full than James had ever seen it, they’d managed to fit what appeared to be most of the upper years into the small space and more seemed to file in every few minutes. Half the students wore masks, some dressed in clearly enchanted garments, some were meant to be provocative while others were meant to be terrifying, the mixture was intoxicating all on its own. Of course, James couldn’t help but partake in the alcohol being floated around, the liquid warming him from the inside out. He’d been talking to a few seventh year quidditch players from Ravenclaw when something caught his eye, something entirely out of place in the Gryffindor common room.
Black curls, not Sirius’s, wove through the groups of people, an easy smile on those beautiful full lips and melodic laughter floating through the air. Regulus. He’d only caught a glimpse, a flash, but it was more than enough to know that it was definitely him. Without taking his eyes off the spot he’d last seen him, he politely excused himself from the group of people and began weaving his way through the crowd after the black curls as if he were chasing after a snitch.
The crowd felt too dense, suddenly there were too many people in the room, all James could think was ‘Regulus. Regulus. Regulus is here,’ over and over again like a scratched up record. The music seemed to fade into the background, the chatter and noises of the party were muted and all James could hear was the pounding of his heart in his ears. He’d made it almost all the way around the room and was almost ready to give up, chalk the sighting up to his overactive imagination and down another glass, when he saw him.
Black curls that reached just to the nape of his neck, long slender fingers delicately holding a whiskey glass, beautiful full lips, and eyes like the ocean in a storm locking with his. Everything else faded around him, all there was was a singular tether pulling him closer to the boy he’d spent every morning of the last nearly two months with. When he finally came to a stop in front of him, he finally actually really looked at him. He was wearing an old prince’s outfit, all black of course, with accents of silver and green. A mask hid his face, though it would never shield his identity from James who’d spent every day studying and analysing the boy in front of him, learning every detail that he could.
“You came,” he couldn’t keep the excitement from his voice, he really hadn’t thought he would come.
“You invited me,” his tone was off, nervous almost.
“And us, cheers for that,” another voice piped up, Barty, James thought based solely on his hair. He’d almost forgotten to look around where Regulus had been standing, of course he’d be with his friends, he probably would rather spend his time at the party with them rather than James anyways.
“Technically you didn’t need an invitation, it was open for anyone to come,” James feigned nonchalance now that he was aware of the two additional pairs of eyes watching him.
“Ah, but that isn’t really true, is it?” That must have been Evan, the other Rosier.
“Of course it is!”
“So Snape and his pint-sized party of persnickety pinheads would be more than welcome to peruse the punch and people gathered in your place of residence?” Barty cocked a brow, amusement evident on his face.
“I understood at least half of that sentence,” James blinked a few times, still trying to process exactly what had come out of Barty just then. “In theory I guess they could come, but I doubt they’d be able to behave themselves so it probably wouldn’t last long. We have a no fighting, hexing, dosing or cursing rule at our parties.”
“How can you be sure we’ll behave ourselves?” Evan asked, equally as amused as Barty had been.
“Well, uh, you’re Regulus’s friends. And Pandora and Dorcas too, so I guess I just figured you couldn’t be half bad,” James shrugged, trying to find anything that would get him out of this conversation with the least amount of regrets. Regulus sighed heavily, a tired look taking over his features.
“Can you two behave for once? Honestly, you two are worse than an old married couple.” Regulus rolled his eyes, though the gleam in them told James all he needed to know about the affection the younger Black boy had for his friends.
“Aw c’mon Reggie, you love us,” Barty exclaimed, throwing an arm over Regulus’s shoulders. Evan came from the other side, matching Barty’s movements.
“Wouldn’t know where you’d be without us,” both boys kissed Regulus, one on each cheek.
“I hate you both,” he shrugged them off, a scowl marring his features. “And you know how I feel about being called Reggie.”
“He loves us, he knows he does,” Barty said with an almost flirtatious wink at James.
“Well, ah, if you three would like to be left al-”
“No,” Regulus cut in before James could even finish. “I mean, I spend all my time with these idiots, I’m sick of them.”
“Reggie, you can’t leave us, it’s a group costume, without you we just don’t make sense,” Barty whined with an exaggerated pout.
“You’re princes, aren’t you?” James asked bewildered, he wasn’t sure how that was a group costume exactly.
“I told you we should’ve done something more!” Barty exclaimed. Evan pinched the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut tight, heaving a heavy sigh.
“There was nothing more to do, not that Reg would’ve agreed anyways.” He sounded tired, like this was a conversation they’d had several times that night and he was worn thin from it.
“Have I said something I shouldn’t have?” James asked Regulus quietly now that the other boy had shifted closer to him. Regulus sighed, a worn look taking over his features.
“We’re the three musketeers, Barty thought we needed swords to make it obvious, Evan insisted we would be fine.”
“Oh, well aren’t they a muggle thing anyways?” James needed to dig himself out of the grave he’d gotten himself into.
“Yes, they’re entirely muggle, no wizard equivalent,” Regulus answered almost immediately.
“Well, there you are then, I’m a pureblood so I’m not very well-versed in muggle things. I’m sure a muggleborn or even a half-blood would get it right away.” He wasn’t sure why he felt the need to placate Barty other than him being Regulus’s friend.
“Aren’t you dressed as one of those muggle guys from that band The Roaches?” Barty quirked a brow.
“They’re The Beatles, Barty,” he could tell Regulus had almost reached his limit.
“This was all Sirius, couldn’t even tell you who I’m supposed to be,” James shrugged.
“John Lennon I’d assume, he’s the one who wears glasses at least.” As soon as the words left his lips a crimson blush bloomed across his cheeks.
“How do you know that?” James asked, astonished.
“I told you Potter, I’ve studied muggles,” he shrugged as if that answered everything.
“More like obsessively reads every book and magazine available, bloody lucky for him Dorcas brought him so many from over the summer holidays or he’d be insufferable,” Barty had a mischievous look on his face once again.
“He’s right annoying about it as it is. ‘Ev, did you know the muggles travel long distances on aeroplanes? They use automobiles for shorter distances, nothing is instant for them!’ Honestly I’m a bit sick of it.” While James had known Regulus had studied muggles, he had no idea how much he knew or how far it went.
“I’m going to smother you in your sleep,” somehow his face was an even deeper shade of red, the blush now taking over his entire face in a way that James found adorable.
“Wouldn’t avada be quicker?” Barty mused teasingly.
“They could trace it to him through his wand, this way he could pin the blame on someone else,” James supplied with a shrug. The three boys looked at him then, all distinctly shocked. “What have I said now?”
“Nothing, that was just a very Slytherin thought process for a Gryffindor,” Evan was the first to get his wits about him and answer.
“I can’t tell if that was an insult to my house or a compliment to me.”
“In true Slytherin fashion it was a bit of both,” Regulus confirmed for him.
“Well thank you and also fuck you very much,” James replied primly.
“Oh, don’t worry your pretty little head Potter, Regulus does fuck me, very, very, much.” Barty winked and Evan barked out a laugh, Regulus blushed down to his collarbone.
“Would you please shut up,” Regulus hissed.
“Come on, we should leave Reg be before he implodes from embarrassment,” Evan fake whispered to Barty. “I think I saw some refreshments over on the side here.”
The two walked away then, though James did note that Barty seemed reluctant to do so. They stood there in their wake, an almost awkward silence descended upon them wherein James was able to take in Regulus’s features entirely. The suit and mask looked good on him, really good. The suit itself was fitted perfectly as though it had been made specifically for his lithe form. The mask covered his brows but accentuated his cheekbones in a way that James thought was absolutely delectable.
“You look good,” he offered, then cringed at how that sounded. “What I mean to say is that looks good on you, like it was made for you.”
“It’s spelled to fit the wearer, Evans’s dress has the same enchantment on it.”
“She looked lovely too, you both shine tonight, not sure who more,” James felt the heat in his cheeks. What had gotten into him? Must be the alcohol, he’d have to stop if he didn’t want to continue making an utter fool of himself.
“Are you always so cheesy?” Regulus smirked, a playful edge to his voice.
“Yes, it’s part of my natural charm,” he answered with a playful wink. James heard movement off to the side, he’d thought he had more time but as it turned out he would have to give Regulus his warning a little more hurriedly than he had initially planned. “I should warn you, the games planned for tonight are a bit, erm, extra.”
“What do you mean by extra?”
“Well, we’re playing our normal spin the bottle, but we’re adding veritaserum to the mix,” he scratched the back of his neck anxiously.
“You’re doing what?” Despite the mask covering his features, James could see the crease in his forehead from where his eyebrows had shot up.
“It was Marlene’s idea, she thought it might make things more interesting. She had so much fun at your party last month, she wanted to prove Gryffindor was better I think.” He shuffled his feet anxiously, worried now more than ever.
“Is the veritaserum a requirement?”
“No, well, I don’t think it is,” James hadn’t actually asked, though he didn’t want to admit that to Regulus.
“I might just observe,” he wasn’t really sure why he was disappointed by the prospect of Regulus not joining in on the game, only that he hoped the other boy changed his mind.
“Whatever you feel comfortable with Reg,” James offered a reassuring smile before taking his hand and leading him across the room to where the circle of people had already gathered to play.
“Okay, who wants to start us off? And remember, we’ve adopted the Slytherin house rules, nothing that goes on here gets back to any of the adults.” Marlene asked, sitting the empty bottle in the centre of the table.
“I’ll go first Marls,” Peter offered once everyone had settled and quieted. He gave the bottle a hefty spin, everyone around the circle watching with bated breath to see who it would land on. Eventually the bottle came to a stop pointed at Evan. “Truth or dare?”
“Don’t want to kiss me Pettigrew?” Evan made a few kissy noises in jest, causing several people in the room to chuckle.
“I don’t kiss lads,” Peter answered with a shrug.
“Boring,” Evan nonchalantly flipped his hair out of his face. “If I must, then dare.”
“I dare you to streak in the halls, you must touch a painting on the opposite end of the hall and return without getting caught by Filch.”
“Light work Pettigrew,” Evan responded before stripping down to nothing but his mask, eliciting cheers from several people within the common room. He left and returned within a minute, Mary going to supervise him to ensure he was honest about completing the task. Next it was his turn to spin the bottle and see who would be on his receiving end. He gave the bottle a hearty spin, it felt like it went on for ages before it finally came to a stop on Sirius. “What’s it going to be, Black?”
“Dealer’s choice,” Sirius shrugged in a way that feigned innocence, though James was certain he wished he was in almost any other position.
“Pucker up then Black boy,” Evan said teasingly before walking swiftly around the table and pulling Sirius in for a quick but not unpassionate kiss. When they pulled away Sirius looked slightly dazed causing Evan to smirk. Sirius didn’t say anything himself before giving the bottle a hefty spin which landed on Mary.
“Well, I’m not kissing you MacDonald, so what’s it going to be?”
“Truth,” she answered without hesitation.
“Veritaserum?”
“Always,” she replied, taking the proffered vial from Marlene.
“Remember Mary, only one drop so there’s enough to go around. It should last you enough for one question,”
“Yeah yeah, I got it Marls,” Mary responded before placing a single drop of veritaserum on her tongue. “Do your worst Siri-boy.”
“Out of everyone in this room, who would you fuck if you had the chance?”
“Remus,” she answered immediately, half the room laughed and the other half nodded in agreement. “I’m not apologising to anyone for anything, he’s a fine specimen of man.”
“I’m going to bleach my ears so I can pretend I never heard that,” Sirius shivered visibly but didn’t do much else otherwise. Mary leaned forward and spun the bottle heftily, this time it landed on Lily.
“What’ll it be Lil?”
“Truth,” she answers, though James notes the slight blush that blooms on her cheeks. She takes the vial just as Mary did and places a singular drop on her tongue.
“Would you ever go on a date with James? If you were both single, of course.”
“Yes,” a blush spread across her cheeks and down her neck. She glanced up at Pandora who was perched on the arm of Lily’s chair like a bird, laughing her melodic laugh. Lily flushed a deeper shade of crimson, “my turn, I guess.”
She gave the bottle a heavy spin, James found himself watching with bated breath, hopeful and terrified all at once. Finally the bottle came to a stop pointed at Barty.
“Oh!” Pandora exclaimed, a light in her eyes. “You should kiss!”
“If Pandora wishes it, so must it be.” Barty shrugged before giving Lily a questioning look.
“Alright, why not?” Lily sighed before standing, she crossed the short distance to him and allowed him to cup her face in his hands before their lips met. The kiss was heated, more so than James could’ve anticipated, and when they pulled away wearing equally shocked expressions, both blinking dazedly at one another.
“Look at you Evans,” Barty sounded impressed and his brows were raised, his mouth slightly agape.
“Not bad yourself,” she smiled in return before taking her seat next to Pandora again. Next came Barty’s turn, he spun and the bottle landed on Sirius.
“Well I just have to know how good you kiss pretty boy,” Barty winked, causing Sirius to roll his eyes.
“Yeah, alright, if everyone wants to kiss me, guess I can’t deny the fun,” he shrugged before standing and moving around to where Barty stood. Barty pulled Sirius into him, locking his fingers in his dark curls and kissing him fiercely, almost as if he had something to prove by doing so. The kiss only lasted a moment before they pulled apart but when they did they were both breathless.
“I’m not mad about that,” Barty hummed before backing away and heading to his seat next to Evan. Sirius shook his head before spinning the bottle once again, though when it landed on Emmeline he sucked air sharply into his lungs.
“Guess we-”
“Truth or dare?” Sirius cut her off without even looking in her direction. James caught the way she visibly deflated at that, she had been seeing Sirius casually only recently and had probably assumed they’d kiss.
“Dare,” she answered with a pout. Sirius thought for a moment, looking around the room for ideas until a light sparked in his eyes.
“Swing from the chandelier, two full swings.” Emmeline looked less than pleased about this dare but did it anyways, returning with a flushed face and panting breaths once she’d finished. Regulus finally joined the circle then, taking a seat next to James and anxiously bouncing his leg. Emmeline plopped back down into her spot with a huff before spinning the bottle. It landed on Marlene.
“Truth,” she didn’t even wait for Emmeline to ask her.
“Veritaserum?”
“Sure,” she shrugged before taking the vial and placing a drop on her tongue.
“Has our favourite little Gryffindor finally been deflowered?” She asked with a sly look on her face as though this had been a touchy subject in the past. Marlene blushed, her cheeks turning scarlet even through her makeup.
“Yes,” she nearly whispered before leaning forward and spinning the bottle, not waiting for a reaction from anyone in the room. When the bottle landed on Dorcas, who was sitting right next to her, neither girl said anything before turning and sharing a heated kiss with one another causing a few whoops and cheers. After a heated thirty seconds, Dorcas pulled away and spun the bottle herself, which landed on Mary.
“I already did a truth, give me a dare,” she clapped her hands excitedly.
“I dare you to strip down to your underwear for the rest of the game,” Dorcas had a devilish smirk on her face as she said it. Mary, who had gotten progressively more sloshed, as they all had, as the night went on, simply shrugged and did as she had been told.
“Okay, let’s see who I get,” she spun the bottle and James felt his breath leave him when the bottle came to a stop pointed directly at Regulus. He felt his heart stutter and Regulus’s body tense next to him, all he could find himself to do was hope that Sirius was far too drunk at this point to realise it was his own brother. “I’m not kissing anyone when I’m like this, it isn’t that kind of party. So truth or dare musketeer?”
“Truth,” Regulus surprised him with his answer, what surprised him even more was when he held out his hand for the vial of veritaserum, James guessed it had something to do with his relative anonymity.
“Well, if I knew who you were I could ask you a more pointed question, but I’m too drunk to put the pieces together with that mask. So, a generic question it is!” She thought for a moment before an idea lit up her face. “What is something about you that would surprise most people?”
“Emily Dickinson is my favourite poet,” he answered, an immediate blush taking over his entire face and neck as soon as the words left his mouth. James was about to ask who that was before Regulus leaned forward and spun the bottle himself. This time it landed on Remus. “Lupin?”
Remus thought for a moment, though James couldn’t discern exactly what he was thinking. He seemed to be having a war with himself behind his eyes before he stood and walked the short distance to Regulus. The other boy for his part was definitely shocked by this turn of events, though he didn’t protest, only stood to reach a level closer to Remus’s tall height, though Remus was still an entire head taller than Regulus. Remus wrapped his large hand around the side of Regulus’s head, entwining his fingers in the curls that were much shorter than his older brother’s and tilted his face upwards. Their lips met in a hurried but still intense kiss which they broke after an appropriate amount of time, Remus letting out a satisfied hum before returning to his seat and spinning the bottle. This time it landed on James.
“Prongs?” He quirked a brow.
“I’m feeling awfully left out of all this kissing,” he shrugged before standing and meeting Remus halfway. He knew Sirius would be livid in the morning, but maybe this would be enough for him to finally admit his feelings to their friend. Remus cradled his face much the same as he had with Regulus, one of his hands splayed out across his hip, his long fingers wrapping around James in a way he’d never considered liking before now. When their lips met, something within him clicked.
James had never kissed a bloke before, he’d hardly kissed a girl if he were honest. And, well, it felt different. Of course there were the physical differences and the physical sensations, but something about it mentally was different too. Sure, he liked kissing girls, and he would love to kiss Lily, but something in this just felt like it was what he was meant to do. Not with Remus though, as much as he loved his friend and could acknowledge he was incredibly attractive, Remus was definitely not his type. They broke away from one another after a moment and retreated to their seats, James giving the bottle a spin of his own.
It landed on Lily.
“Lil?” James shot her a questioning look. He noticed that Pandora nudged her gently, gave an encouraging nod and broad smile.
“James, you were saying you were feeling left out,” Pandora said with a giggle. That seemed to be all the encouragement either needed before they walked to one another. James grabbed Lily’s face between his hands and silently asked if she was okay with what was about to happen, she gave the smallest nod before leaning forward and meeting his lips halfway. This kiss felt more right than the one with Remus had, though still not how he’d always thought it would. He wouldn’t mind kissing Lily for the rest of his life, rather enjoyed the kiss truthfully, but it still wasn’t the kiss he was looking for, even if he wasn’t sure what or who that kiss was.
When they finally broke apart, Lily's face was flushed and James could feel the heat on his own, he was sure his cheeks were as bright as Lily’s hair. They blinked at one another for mere moments before separating and returning to their seats. The rest of the game went on in a blur, James found himself too lost in his own thoughts to pay much attention other than when the bottle landed on him. The party itself lasted well into the night, finally drawing to a close around two in the morning, by that time most of the students had left, leaving only a handful of others to sneak back to their respective common rooms.
Regulus was amongst those that were last to leave, hanging back with Barty, Evan, Pandora and Dorcas, their little group being the last four to leave the common room as a whole other than James, Marlene and Lily. Finally, the Slytherin crew began making their way to the portrait to leave, but there was still something on James’s mind about the game.
“Reg?” He asked, almost timidly.
“Yeah?”
“That poet, the one you said was your favourite? I’ve never heard of her.”
“Probably because she’s a muggle,” Regulus shrugged casually, as though he hadn’t just said the most shocking thing James had ever heard.
“You truly are an enigma, Regulus Black,” James responded with a dazed smile. The four Slytherins finally left the common room, saying their final goodbyes before exiting and hopefully making it down to the dungeons without Filch noticing them.
“Regulus Black, huh?” Lily asked with a sly smirk after Marlene had left the two alone.
“Don’t say anything?” James knew what he was doing must have been some level of wrong if he was asking Lily not to say anything, though he couldn’t find it within himself to care much, especially in his inebriated state.
“Of course not, I’m an excellent secret keeper,” she winked, a smirk gracing her beautiful lips. “I won’t tell anyone about your secret boyfriend.” James was dumbfounded, staring after her for a few moments as she walked away.
“We-” he didn’t get to finish as Lily made it to the girl’s dormitory. He scoffed at the thought, Regulus Black, his boyfriend? As much as he’d like that he knew it could never be. Wait, no, what? What was he thinking? It must be the alcohol, because no way in any sober part of his mind would James Potter ever consider dating his best friend’s estranged brother. Being friends with Regulus was one thing, and that was already pushing his limits. But to date Regulus? Not that Regulus would ever consider dating him, of course. Lily must have just been joking, there was absolutely no way she truly thought anything could ever happen between the two, right?