Two
5th September 1976
Are there still beautiful things?
Sweet tea in the summer
Cross your heart, won’t tell no other
James
James was beyond exhausted. Sirius had kept him up until three scheming for their next prank, and by the time his wand alarm went off at five he was seriously considering skipping his morning practice for the first time since he’d started them. Eventually he dragged himself from bed, but the whole way to the bathroom was spent cursing Sirius’s name under his breath. Sirius had become determined that if he cast just the right combination of spells he would be able to cause every toilet in the castle to simultaneously vanish for a certain period of time. James had questioned every detail of his plan and hadn’t noticed the time slipping by until his eyelids had grown impossibly heavy and his eyes burned from exhaustion.
James was too tired to bother with doing more than putting on the bare minimum of his quidditch gear before heading down to the pitch and he had to stifle several yawns on the way there. When he was finally in the air, he felt that familiar calm overtake him. The world was always at peace so early in the mornings, before even the birds had woken and started chirping their morning song. James savoured these quiet mornings alone, something that not even Sirius knew about him. Of course Sirius knew that James loved quidditch and would never miss a chance to practise, but he didn’t know that sometimes James preferred practising alone.
Everyone saw James as the happy, easygoing one of the group. He was the popular one, in a more conventional way than Sirius or Remus who were popular in certain circles; but everyone loved James. James was the one you went to for a good time, a laugh, someone to make you feel better, because James Potter was always full of sunshine. And it was all true, most of the time. But there were times when James would look around, even when he was surrounded by everyone in Gryffindor cheering because they’d won a match, and he just felt so extraordinarily alone.
He knew he was being absurd, he knew everyone loved him and he had the three best friends that anyone could ask for. Peter had been James’s best friend since they were children, their families both being on the fringes of pureblood society had bonded and struck up a friendship. Sirius and Remus had been the blessings in disguise he needed in first year when he’d been mortified at the idea of it being just him and Pete against the entire castle. Not to mention that James had perfect, loving parents who had hardly even raised their voices to him. So he couldn’t figure out where this horrible, lonely, sadness came from.
Of course James couldn’t actually talk it through with anyone, who was he supposed to turn to? It wasn’t like Pete to understand the depth of emotions, James loved him but he really was more simple minded about these kinds of things. He couldn’t exactly turn to Sirius, who had been abused, or Remus, who was a werewolf, and complain about feeling sad when he had perfect parents and didn’t suffer painful, agonising transformations every month. So instead, every morning before anyone was awake, James went to the quidditch pitch alone to practise and think.
The cool September air nipped at his skin as he zipped around over the pitch doing his warm-up drills, waking him up even further from his measly two hour slumber. The sky was beginning to get lighter when he started running his actual practice drills and shortly after the birdsong became the background music for his thoughts. He was so lost in his thoughts, lost in his drills, that he didn’t notice someone joining him until he was staring face to face with a shorter, sneering version of his best friend.
“You don’t own the quidditch pitch, Potter.” Regulus spat at him.
“Not this one, you’d be correct, it belongs to the school.” James replied sarcastically, throwing in an eye roll for added effect.
“Other people might like to practise, you know.” He didn’t let any of the venom out of his voice.
“Go ahead then Reggie, I’m not stopping you.” James replied with a smirk before shooting off to one end of the pitch and starting on a drill. He watched though as Regulus stared open-mouthed and red-faced after him before shaking his head and flying off to do his own drills. James watched Regulus out of the corner of his eye as the two flew around doing their own thing. He’d never seen anyone out so early, and he wondered what had made Regulus come.
The two managed to avoid one another the rest of their morning practice, it was in no small part because there was a piece of James that wondered if Regulus would curse or hex him given the chance. Despite keeping almost the entire field between the two of them, James still felt on edge waiting for the attack. Luckily for them both, neither boy spoke another word the rest of the morning and they went their separate ways at the locker rooms, taking care not to be seen walking back to the castle at even remotely the same time.
At breakfast, he found himself watching the younger Black brother across the Great Hall. He watched as Regulus laughed at something Barty had said, his face lighting up even from across a room. Dorcas reached across the table and playfully flicked Regulus’s nose which caused him to scowl and the rest of the group to laugh. Seeing them all so happy and carefree brought a smile to James’s face, he’d never admit it to Sirius but he’d been worried about Regulus the entire summer.
“Prongs?” Sirius sounded frustrated, like he’d been trying to talk to James for a while.
“Sorry Pads, what was that?”
“I said it’s moon week,” he replied with a roll of his eyes.
“So it is,” he answered dismissively. Not that he didn’t care about the upcoming full moon, but it wasn’t exactly news to him and their process wasn’t exactly new. They’d perfected it during their first term the previous school year.
“Do you think Moony will want me there?” Ah, of course that’s what Sirius really wanted to talk about. Summer had been rough with the two barely speaking, and Sirius had elected not to even broach the topic of the moon and whether or not he was welcome so the duty had fallen solely to James and Peter. James didn’t tell either Sirius or Remus, but he and Peter could tell that the wolf missed Padfoot.
“I’m sure he will, it’s been nearly six months now since- the incident, I’m sure it’ll be good for you both to get out like old times.” Peter and Remus joined them shortly after and the conversation was dropped. The group spent most of their day on the Hogwarts grounds doing their own thing together, something they often did when the weather allowed. From all outside viewpoints the Marauders were as close-knit as they’d ever been, only those that knew the group well would have ever been able to tell that two of the four had only had a handful of conversations over the past six months.
The next morning James was up before his alarm, having fallen asleep early the night before he felt incredibly well rested and itching to get on with his daily practice. He was enjoying the cool, quiet walk down to the pitch, looking forward to having it all to himself on a morning where his mind wasn’t racing and he could enjoy the peace. It was on lap two that James realised he was wrong.
“Potter,” he could hear the sneer in Regulus’s voice even though James had his back to him.
“Reggie,” James turned over his shoulder and nodded to Regulus with a smile.
“Re-gu-lus,” he said through gritted teeth.
“Sorry Reggie, what was that? Don’t think I quite heard you.”
“Re-gu-lus. That’s my name, Regulus. Not bloody Reggie,” Regulus’s face was red and James was sure he could make smoke come out of his ears if he pushed the right buttons.
“That’s too many syllables, I just can’t be bothered to be honest with you.” James flashed his cheeky grin that showed off his perfectly straight, white teeth.
“Isn’t your middle name Fleamont, Potter?” James doesn’t get the chance to form a retort as Regulus darted off to the opposite end of the field. He found himself watching Regulus again today, taking note of the different telling faces Regulus would make. When Regulus messed up, a small scowl appeared on his forehead, and his eyes darted around as though he was rewatching his moves in the third person to figure out where he went wrong. It wasn’t until the sun had crested over the horizon that James realised he’d simply been hovering midair watching Regulus.
James couldn’t really figure out why he’d spent so long studying the way he smoothly darted around the pitch. He supposed it must have been that he still didn’t trust Regulus not to curse him the moment his back was turned. Eventually, he shook his head clear and turned his focus back to running his practise drills. James couldn’t help his eyes from darting over the younger Black brother every now and again though, recalling the way Regulus had looked when he came tumbling through the floo with Sirius and trying to see if any part of that scared looking boy was in there.
Most of that Monday went by uneventfully and, if James were honest, rather boring. Professor Binns droned on in class as per usual, and as per usual James used that time to mull over much more important thoughts. Transfiguration was neither terribly exciting nor dull, though that was to be expected at this point in their education. By all accounts it was perfectly normal and mundane, which is why James should’ve known that it wouldn’t last.
“Come on Lily, please,” unfortunately, he knew exactly who that was. As he and Sirius rounded the corner he was proven correct when he saw Snape standing there and practically cornering Lily and Mary.
“No Sev, there’s a reason I chose not to see you all summer.” Even from down the hall he could see the tension in Lily’s jaw.
“Please, just let me explain.”
“What could you possibly have to explain away your use of a literal slur against the only person in this school that has ever defended you?” Mary was seething, her curls practically sparking from the magic clamouring to be released. Snape remained silent. “Exactly, there isn’t anything you can say that would justify it, is there?”
“Can we talk somewhere privately?” Snape sounded almost desperate at this point.
“Why, too many mudbloods here for you? Do us all a favour and go crawl back into whatever grease trap you slithered out of and leave Lily alone,” Mary waved her hand at him dismissively before grabbing Lily’s hand and starting to pull her away, but Snape didn’t let them get very far before he reached out and grabbed ahold of Lily’s arm.
“Please,” he begged, but at this point James had had more than enough.
“Let the ladies go, Snivellus,” he called down the hallway as he approached. “I understand that no one of the fairer sex wants to be around you but are you really resorting to restraining them from leaving?”
“Stay out of this Potter, it doesn’t concern you,” Snape shot back.
“Maybe, maybe not, but I believe every woman should have her choice on what kind of situation she’d like to be in and Lily has clearly made hers. So, if you’d kindly just let her leave then we could all be on our merry way.”
“Unless you’d like a repeat of last term, in which case we will happily oblige.” Sirius added, twirling his wand deftly between his fingers to emphasise the point. At this, Snape’s face paled and a scowl creased his brow, but he dropped Lily’s arm and stormed off down the hall. Lily scowled at them both before turning and silently walking off with Mary in the direction of their next class.
“Do you think she’ll ever forgive me?” James asked Sirius after they were gone.
“That one can hold a grudge about as well as any other so it’s hard to say.” They managed to make it through the rest of the day with minimal incidents for which James was grateful.
The next two days went by without any major events. James would head to the quidditch pitch at his usual time and Regulus would eventually join him, always starting off with some sarcastic remark or angry quip. As the days went on, James found himself watching Regulus more and more, every day becoming less sure as to why. Once he convinced himself that he wasn’t actually worried about Regulus cursing him, he couldn’t come up with any good, discernable reason for it.
At first he thought he might just be analysing Regulus’s playing tactics, but when he remembered that they didn’t even play the same position it seemed like a weak excuse. Since James couldn’t figure out what it was about Regulus that was so fascinating to him, it only made him watch the other boy more. It was the morning after the full moon that month, the bloody thing just had to fall on their first Wednesday back, and thankfully Remus had agreed to let Sirius be there, a decision both Padfoot and Moony seemed to be elated by during the night.
James had been worried at first, when he’d asked Remus if he wanted Sirius to be there the other boy had seemed uncertain and he wasn’t sure how Moony would take it. That summer the moons had been difficult, he ran and howled and cried across the countryside, always headed in the same direction. This one was different however. As soon as Moony saw Padfoot he pounced on him, at first James had been concerned but he quickly realised it was in an affectionate manner. They’d run all through the forbidden forest the entire night, feeling the unique freedom that only ever came with the four of them together under the full moon.
However, being awake the entire night always took its toll and he was exhausted so James was doing lazy drills. He’d been practising throwing the quaffle through the hoops and darting around the other side to catch it when he noticed Regulus mess up on one of his moves. None of this was uncommon, Regulus had been messing up the same move all week, but what was different was James jerking his broom in Regulus’s direction and heading over to him.
“You’re gripping the broom too tight and too far up, bring your hands further down and loosen them,” James called out as he got closer.
“Piss off, Potter.” Regulus’s face was redder than it would’ve been had it just been from the cold and James was afraid he’d embarrassed him.
“I’m just trying to help,” James held his hands up placatingly as one would do when approaching a scared animal.
“Didn’t ask for it, did I?” Regulus spat back before turning his back on James and hovering there silently.
“Try my way just once, you’ll see.” James normally would’ve turned and flown back across the pitch, but for some reason he felt the need to show Regulus that he wasn’t trying to be mean, but helpful.
“You won’t leave me be until I do, will you?” Regulus finally asked after a few minutes of neither of them moving.
“Nope,” James answered with a broad smile. Regulus breathed a heavy sigh in response before shifting his hands down further on the broom and loosening his grip, but it still wasn’t right. “Here, let me help,” James offered as he placed his hands over Regulus’s to guide them into place. However, as soon as their skin brushed, Regulus jerked his hands back.
“I’ve got it, Potter.” Regulus spat and adjusted his hands once more before flying several feet away and practising the move again, this time getting it right.
“Nice!” James cheered the other boy on and flew to him with a proud smile on his face. “There, you’ve got it now, that was bloody brilliant!”
“Uh, thanks,” Regulus was scratching the back of his neck and looking away sheepishly like he wasn’t sure what to say in response. James didn’t want to put any pressure on him to talk, it wasn’t like they’d ever been friends after all, so he nodded to Regulus in acknowledgement before flying back to his side of the field. When they finished up their practises and headed their separate ways to the locker rooms, the boys locked eyes and shared a small smile for the first time that week. Later, when James would look back on it, he would see this as the day things with Regulus started to change.