Chapter 5
“So, Evans, can I call you Evans?” Marlene nearly yelled, trying to be heard over the music in the hotel bar. Lily nodded, not trusting her voice to be loud enough. Marlene gave a small lift of her chin in approval and continued “Right then, Evans, who all of the crew have you met? I’ll be your guide so you know who the cool kids are.”
Lily laughed a little nervously “I’ve never been a cool kid before.”
Marlene rolled her eyes “Babe you’re a hot lesbian who plays guitar it doesn’t get much cooler than that, I should know. Now tell me I know you’ve met James and darling Dora here.” At that she gestured at Pandora who waved brightly making Lily smile. “but who else Peter? He’s a love and his girlfriend Sybil is a dead good tarot reader. Oh and Doc he’s our lightning head, absolute gem. He’s dating Benjy, one of our sound guys.”
“Jesus, is everyone on this tour dating each other?” Lily interrupted her tone a little bitter. She wasn’t exactly thrilled at the prospect of spending the next three months surrounded by happy couples.
Marlene laughed in that big full bodied way that made Lily feel like the funniest person on the planet. “God no! Sirius is painfully single in case you couldn’t tell from the album. Reg, that’s Sirius’s brother, is aroace and unpartenered. Dora’s single” Marlene wiggled her eyebrows in the blonde girl’s direction and Lily forced down a blush. “And I’m single… for now” at that her eyes drifted to a dark skinned girl in an oversized blazer on the other side of the room who Lily recognized as Dorcas from their few facetime calls leading up to the tour. Dorcas was gorgeous Lily had immediately thought so, even through a grainy computer screen so Lily couldn’t blame Marlene for her little infatuation. When she looked back at the other girl though her eyes were soft and full of wonder still trained on Dorcas as she held an espresso martini and nodded decisively at the person she was speaking to. Maybe it was more than a little crush.
Lily caught Pandora's eyes over Marlene’s shoulder with a questioning look. She’d expected Pandora to simply nod or smile in confirmation but instead she spoke at full volume with no hesitation “Marlene’s been mad about Dorcas for ages. They hooked up once but Cas said it couldn’t happen again because she’s our tour manager”. At Pandora's words Marlene snapped out of her pretty girl induced trance and glared at her bassist. “And now I realize that’s probably not something I should’ve told you” she added, only sounding slightly remorseful. Marlene shook her head but she had a fond smile on her lips and Lily couldn’t help but smile too. She felt let into something special, she’d only ever felt like this while sitting on the floor gossiping with her roommates.
Marlene took one last longing look at Dorcas and then shook her head bringing herself back to the moment. “Anyway back to important business! You met Sirius yet?” Lily’s face paled. She’d felt so secure mere moments ago but that reminder that she was here to perform with a true pop star had her anxiety brain whirring all over again. To Lily’s absolute horror Marlene laughed. “Oh babes you look fucking terrified! I’m sorry I really shouldn’t laugh but” she continued guffawing “the idea of anyone being intimidated by that fucking twink is absolutely hilarious.” At that Lily relaxed a little realizing Marlene wasn’t laughing at her. “I promise you he’s really nothing to be scared of. Just forget he’s famous. He does.” At that Lily let out a relieved little giggle. Remembering that Sirius too was just a kid from small town Texas did indeed reduce the pressure she felt “Oh here we go let’s rip that band aid off! Oi Black!” She waved her arms wildly and Sirius Black turned to smile at her.
Lily made eye contact with Sirius, her green eyes meeting his gray ones and suddenly she was 16 again watching youtube videos of a boy from a town not too far from her writing love songs about boys. She was 17 hiding in a closet so Petunia wouldn’t hear her practicing Sirius’s songs on guitar. She was 19 playing “The Story” at an open mic night in New York. And then she was back in her body, in the moment, in a hotel bar in Los Angeles face to face with Sirius Black.
How on earth was she supposed to act? What was she supposed to say? “My sister hates you” Well she definitely wasn’t supposed to say that. Her mind knew the logical thing to do right now would be to shut up and apologize but her mouth had other plans. “I mean you should take that as a compliment because she’s a raging bitch and a not so subtle homophobe so honestly if you were in her good books I’d have some grave doubts about your character.” When she finished her involuntary word vomit she froze completely ready to be fired on the spot but instead Sirius just laughed. And laughed. And laughed.
“Oh my god! We should rename this ‘the kids with religious family trauma tour’” Sirius said still laughing.
“Hey don’t bring Margaret and Max Mckinnnon into this, they've done nothing wrong ever!” Marlene interjected with faux indignation.
“Too true. Do send Max my love” Sirius said with a wink and a suggestive smirk causing Marlene to gag and Pandora to laugh softly. Lily felt suddenly out of the loop. Marlene had toured with Sirius before, they were friends, hell he knew her parents. Lily was the outsider here just as she was about to excuse herself and let the friends catch up Sirius turned back to her with a solemn look on his face “Lily I have a very important question for you.” She nodded for him to continue nervously “How do you feel about bananagrams?”
Lily paused. Had she heard him correctly. “Bananagrams?” she questioned “The word game?” Sirius nodded. She searched his face for any sign that he was joking but he looked completely sincere. “I umm don’t think I have very strong feelings either way about bananagrams” she answered completely unsure if this was the right response. When Sirius smiled she audibly exhaled in relief.
“We’ll just have to convert you then. Marlene and I play every night before our sets. It's like our lucky pre-show ritual and honestly I’m getting tired of beating her every night. It’s time for some new blood.” Marlene looked affronted and Lily laughed. Maybe everyone who ever talked about touring was right, maybe the people you toured with really did become like family. She looked around at Marlene and Sirius playfully arguing with each other, at James dancing on top of the bar as Fabian tried to pull him down, and finally at Pandora who was already looking at her with soft questioning eyes. Yes she thought she’d like to call these people family some day.
———
Two hours and many drinks later Lily finally got to crash into a comfortable queen size hotel bed. She starfished out on the white bedspread smiling widely. That hadn’t been so bad after all. After being introduced to Sirius she’d met his brother Regulus who had a dry and biting sense of humor that had her giggling incessantly, or maybe that was the 4 espresso martinis she’d drunk. She’d danced albeit rather ungracefully with Marlene and done karaoke with James and Peter, a brilliant rendition of Gimme Gimme Gimme that would live in infamy and on Marlene’s secret Tiktok account. When Lily really thought about it though her favorite part of the night was the very end.
Everyone had noisily piled into the elevator to go to their rooms and get some sleep, everyone except Lily and Pandora. The elevator had been far too crowded so the two of them had elected to hang back and wait for the next one. Lily was quiet, unsure of what to say or if she needed to say anything at all. Pandora was wearing her headphones and looking straight ahead at the elevator so Lily just assumed she wasn’t in the mood for conversation. Until Pandora spoke in her soft Scottish lilt “You fit here you know?” It was spoken so softly Lily barely heard it but as Pandora continued Lily turned to face her to catch every word. “I don’t like meeting new people. It makes my fingers feel all tingly but you didn’t make me tingle. I felt still. I like that feeling.”
Lily hadn’t been able to help the small smile that had stretched across her lips at that moment and now in the sanctuary of her own room she didn’t even try to fight it from reappearing. Lily glanced at the clock on her hotel room nightstand, it was 2:30. 5:30 New York time. Her roommates would still be fast asleep she was sure of it but she decided to text them anyway.
Lily: Finally getting to sleep. The tour crew had a party for the kickoff of the North American leg so we were out late. I miss you guys so much. I think you’d like the group, especially Marlene. And yes Mary Sirius is just as gorgeous in person. I’m already counting down the day to our NYC show so I can see you all again. I think this is going to be really special.