Chapter 2
Lily woke up the next morning with a full heart and belly. She’d had a lovely night with her roommates, squished together on the couch watching the new season of love island and eating cookies Emmeline had made. It had been weeks since she’d been able to have a night like that one. Of course they watched something and ate dessert together after every family dinner but in the months since her breakup, and probably even before that if she was honest with herself, she hadn’t felt able to fully absorb the conversations. Her mind had been too stuck on Emma and if her music was getting traction. Last night though she’d put her phone on do not disturb and simply sat with the girls she considered her family.
It had felt like the right decision at the time she wanted to be in the moment but when she opened her phone the next morning she couldn’t have been more wrong. She was flooded with notifications mostly likes and positive comments on her new song but she also seemed to have amassed quite a few more followers, 1,072 to be exact, overnight. She was dumbfounded, her original songs never performed this well. Hell even her covers didn’t often have this kind of reach. As she scrolled through the seemingly endless screen of positive comments there was one that completely stopped her in her tracks “@sirius_black.official commented: WOW i need this song injected directly into my veins”.
She stared at the comment. There was no way. It couldn’t actually be him. But the username had said “official” and had that been? Yes, there was a blue check next to his comment.
Oh my god. The Sirius Black rising queer pop sensation had commented on her song. “Oh my god!” she said aloud this time. “Oh my god, oh my god OH MY GOD”
Lily didn’t know how long or loud she’d been screaming but clearly it had been loud enough because all four of her roommates came rushing in looking panicked. Amelia was even holding up a rolling pin like a fearsome weapon. When they saw she was in no immediate danger their expressions shifted from worry to confusion.
Mary was the first to speak. “Lils? You alright in here? It's like 7 am. We thought you were being brutally murdered.”
Lily laughed, unable to contain her giddiness. “No no. I mean I might die but for totally different reasons.” she said, still giggling and looking a little crazed. Her roommates' confused frowns deepened. Unable to find the words to accurately explain her elation she simply shoved her phone towards them.
Again it was Mary who spoke, well less spoke more squealed. Mary was always bragging that she’d been a Sirius Black fan long before he even dropped his first album, when he’d only been posting YouTube covers much like Lily was now. That was part of the reason his commenting in particular was so exciting; he was a small town kid just like her who’d made it big. It almost felt like he was looking out for his own.
As Mary continued to gawk at the screen, the rest of the roommates crowded around her, Lily's ringtone tinged loudly in the quiet room. Mary’s eyes grew impossibly wider. “You got an email” she said with an uncharacteristic shake in her voice and passed the phone back to Lily.
When Lily looked at the email the first thing she noticed was the large phoenix at the top, the logo for Phoenix Records. Phoenix Records was one of the most well established queer record labels in the country. They focused predominantly on young up and coming queer artists in a variety of genres. They also happened to be the record label Sirius Black had signed with a year prior.
Lily’s mind was already racing and she hadn’t even begun reading yet so when her eyes flitted across the subject line it stopped working entirely. It simply read “Supporting Sirius Black’s upcoming US tour”. She hadn’t even realized she’d dropped her phone until she heard it clattering against the floor.
Emmeline, ever the reliable one in a crisis, picked it up. “You want me to read it, Lils?” Lily could only nod. “Lily Evans, my name is Dorcas Meadowes and I work with Phoenix Records scouting new talent. You were brought to my attention by Sirius Black and his manager James Potter who have been following your work for a while.” At this she paused eyes wide as they met Lily’s which were even wider and unfocused. “As you know it’s very important to Sirius and our label to uplift queer voices especially those who have a unique perspective and we feel you are one of those voices. I’m sure you’re aware of Sirius’ upcoming album “Found Heaven”. We plan to announce a tour the friday before the albums release and Sirius wanted us to reach out to you about the possibility of supporting him on his US tour!” Emmelines voice grew higher and more excited as she reached the end of her sentence.
The other roommates jumped up and down screaming with excitement but Lily was frozen. There’s no way this was real. Sirius Black had been following her work? For a while? What was a while? Since her debut independently released EP from her junior year of college? Since last year when she posted a cover of a Taylor Swift song with changed lyrics to make it sapphic? Or was it just in the last few months when her work had felt like a hollow plea for likes and views? Did she even deserve this?
The obvious answer was no. She didn’t deserve this opportunity. She immediately began comparing herself to Emmeline who wrote and rewrote and queried every agent she could as often as she could. And Mary who self taped and went to every audition for every touring and broadway production she could think of. Even Alice who maybe hadn’t made a film in a while but when she did she put her absolute all into them. Amelia too had made the safe choice but still she’d worked hard to get there. What had Lily done? Gotten broken up with? That was no great achievement. Everyone in the world had gone through a breakup at one point or another. All she’d done was write a song. She hadn’t even thought that much about it, just let it flow out of her. She hadn’t worked hard enough.
She was pulled out of her anxiety spiral when she felt a hand grab her own. It was Mary because of course it was. It was always Mary who brought her back to earth when she began to float away in her uncontrollable thoughts.
“Lils I know what you’re thinking and this is a lot really fast but believe us you absolutely deserve it.” She paused and the other girls nodded in agreement. “It’s one hundred percent up to you if you want to do this or not but if you decide not to it can’t be because you don’t think you’re good enough because you absolutely are. You’ve had people telling you your whole life you can’t do this. Petunia, Snape, Emma but they were wrong. This proves they were wrong. Maybe just give it a think before you decide you’re too scared because the world deserves to know Lily Evans.” With that Mary squeezed her hand Emmeline passed her back her phone and her roommates left the room to let her make the biggest decision she’d ever had to make.
———
After they’d left and Lily had taken time to gather her thoughts she read through the email by herself. She wouldn’t be the only supporting act. They’d already reached out to Marlene Mckinnon, a Scottish pop rock artist who Lily’s pretty sure she follows on instagram, and she’d agreed to both US and UK legs. They would be going to 48 states and 50 cities. She and Marlene would each play half hour sets each night and then occasionally Sirius would invite one of them to perform with him during his set. She would be provided with a supporting band if she didn’t have one of her own she wanted to bring; overall it sounded like they’d thought of everything.
The tour in itself was a massive opportunity but they’d also said that if they were pleased with Lily’s performance and the crowds liked her they could have a formal meeting about her “joining the Phoenix Records family”. It was all so surreal, a chance to tour with one of her biggest songwriting inspirations and maybe even sign to a label, the whole thing filled her with the overwhelming urge to pinch herself. But it was real there was an itinerary and accommodations and payment. It was a real gig. The first real gig she hadn’t had to fight tooth and nail to book completely by herself.
She put her phone down and simply thought. This was the biggest opportunity she’d ever been given; she'd have to be insane to pass it up. She’d be traveling the country going to places she’d never been before with people she’d only ever watched through a tiny screen. She’d be playing her songs every night for massive crowds and getting the chance to share her music with an entirely new audience. But she’d be traveling the country. Going to places she’d never been before where she didn’t know what to expect. She’d be surrounded by people she’d never met in person with no guarantee they’d like her or that she’d like them. She’d be playing in front of massive crowds who weren’t even there to see her and would likely just be waiting for her set to finish so they could see who they’d come to see. And then there was the most jarring aspect of the tour, she wouldn’t have her girls. She wouldn’t wake up to Mary making pancakes and singing songs from Waitress every morning. Emmeline wouldn’t be there to give her a head massage when she got an anxiety headache. She and Alice wouldn’t be able to sit on the couch watching horrible movies and taking a shot every time something ridiculous happened in them. Amelia wouldn’t be there to make stupid puns every five seconds. There would be no weekly dinner.
As she let herself wallow in the loneliness she hadn’t even been subjected to yet she thought back to what Mary had said that morning. Everyone in her life had told her she couldn’t do this. Everyone except them. These four girls who had shared dreams just like hers, who’d encouraged her every step of the way. Maybe she didn’t deserve this as much as the rest of them did but she’d be letting all of them down if she didn’t at least try.
She grabbed her phone, clicked back to the open email and read the last line. It was a phone number for Dorcas Meadowes. Her fingers shook but she steadied herself and dialed.