Sternenklar
Sirius was going to see Moony tonight. He could hardly sit still, leg bouncing when he sat and hand tapping his hip when he stood up. He took to walking, rounding the grounds five times before noon. When it was time for lunch, he was first to the table.
“Kreacher, do me a favor and spike my juice. I have a date later. Nerves.” Sirius smiled a wry smile.
Kreacher grumbled and set a grape juice firmly in front of him. The old man had never been much of a joker.
“Bleh.” Sirius complained, pushing his glass away a bit. Grape juice was his least favorite. Kreacher tended to make it extra tart, the way Regulus liked it.
He kept tapping his foot through the meal until Regulus had enough and kicked him in the shin so hard he was sure it’d bruise.
“Something’s on your mind, Sirius.” Alphard smiled over his reading glasses that sat low on his nose.
“Nothing of the sort.” Sirius shook his head and said too quickly.
Alphard gave him a pointed look.
“You’re terrible at lying.” Regulus sipped his grape juice with an all too entertained look in his eye.
Sirius glared at Regulus, flicking him on the back of his hand. He swiped his hand away and cradled it dramatically.
Sirius didn’t respond to Alphard’s bated stare. Well, he didn’t at first. Regulus joined in so that both of them were staring intently at Sirius. They all sat in a silence that grew more and more tense, the birds chirping in the background seeming to get louder and louder until Sirius broke.
“Fine! I have a date!” Sirius said.
Secretly, he was really excited to tell them. He only pretended to not want to. It always made the two of them feel like they’d properly cracked him, and it was worth it when Regulus and Alphard both smirked in victory. He knew rationally that he was an adult, and this makeshift family had survived over a decade already, but it still felt like something fragile and in need of tending to. As if maybe it would all be ripped out from under him if he wasn’t careful enough. When they smiled at each other Sirius felt more okay about it all.
“Wait, you always have a date. Why are you really acting weird?” Regulus scrutinized his appearance for a clue.
“It’s not every day you have a date with the person you’re going to marry.” Sirius said proudly.
“You’re getting married?!” Regulus set his glass down too hard, and some grape juice sloshed onto the table cloth. Alphard set his glass down more gingerly, but all the blood had seemed to have drained from his face.
“No, not now. I just know that I found the one. This is it for me.” Sirius clarified, laughing heartily at the gobsmacked looks on both of their faces.
“You never mentioned you had a girlfriend, even! Oh my god, the other week, with that one girl–” Regulus started, going a million miles a minute. Sirius wanted to correct him, ‘Boyfriend, actually,’ but his tongue got caught in his mouth.
“Hey, it’s okay! We met after that. We aren’t even technically dating.” Sirius said.
“You met less than a week ago?” Regulus deadpanned.
“Yeah.”
“But you know?” Regulus’s brain has broken a bit, it seemed, because his eyes are wide and he can’t stop talking.
“Yeah.”
“Does she?” Regulus broke out of the trance, his face suddenly falling worriedly.
“I’m not sure yet.” Sirius said, honestly. He tried not to think about that.
“Does that scare you?”
Sirius was struck by that.
“Maybe. Mostly, I'm so excited to see them again that I don’t care.” He said, turning his thoughts to Moony. Sirius imagined waking up beside him. His hair would look so good in the morning.
“What are you all talking about?” James came and sat in his usual spot between Sirius and Alphard, across from Regulus.
Regulus snapped his eyes to James, away from Sirius. Alphard didn’t spare James a glance, and when Sirius looked he saw that his uncle was grinning straight at him. He looked happier than he’d maybe ever seen him.
“I’m really happy for you, Sirius.” Alphard said, his words so sincere that Sirius felt himself blush.
***
Remus wasn’t running late, but he wanted to make it seem so. He was a little crazy in that way, always needing an upper hand. He sat on a cafe balcony that overlooked their meeting spot. He would know exactly when Sirius would arrive.
Well, he was ninety-five percent sure his name was Sirius, anyways. He’d caught a glimpse of a bank card reading Sirius O. Black while his wallet was open as he paid for their drinks. It was a fancy credit card Remus associated with big spenders back when he worked as a waiter as a teenager. A lot of that night was a blur, so he could have been mistaken, but he thought the name quite suited him either way. Remus vaguely remembered something about Sirius being the brightest star in the sky. Both Siriuses stood out above anybody else, especially at night, only the light of the moon to rival them.
Sirius was early. Very, very early. He showed up in a nice suit; one of the kinds that didn’t need a fancy brand name plastered on it for anybody to tell it cost a small fortune to afford. His hair was a great deal tidier than Remus remembered it being the night they met. He’d taken care of his tumbling waves, but it wasn’t so well done that it seemed like he’d known what he was doing. He kept anxiously messing with it in the window of a shop for good measure.
Remus picked him out of the early-dinner crowd easily by the way he held himself, his stance the same as when Remus had first asked him for a light outside of that terrible party; one hip out and the opposite knee bent, like he was posing for a picture as he stood there waiting.
Sirius pulled at his perfectly tailored coat like it didn’t fit and asked an older man beside him for the time every couple of minutes, until the old man got so weary of it that he stood up and moved tables.
It was ten minutes past the time they’d agreed on when Remus decided to head down. Usually he’d wait longer, but it was a little sad watching him grow more and more uncertain.
Remus brushed the wrinkles and any insecurities off of his oversized blazer and tight jeans, then closed the distance between them.
“You are dressed… nice.” Remus said once he sided up next to Sirius. Startled, Sirius whipped his head around.
Sirius drank in Remus’s looks like a man dying of thirst. It gave Remus a headrush.
“You’re here!” Sirius smiled that carefree smile. He looked down to his pristine suit. “Oh, this. You’ll need one too where we’re going.” His eyes crinkled when he grinned.
“Where are we going?” Remus asked casually.
“You will have to wait and see. I promise you’ll like it.” Sirius winked.
“How do you know I'll like it?”
“I just do.” He stepped forward.
“I don’t like surprises.” Remus disclosed to Sirius, who frowned slightly.
“Oh. Why not?” He asked, brushing fingertips over Remus’s knuckles where his hand was hanging by his side.
He tried not to react, but felt himself leaning in ever so slightly. Sirius was an artist of seduction. He was good. Remus had to step it up. He decided Sirius would have to chase him.
“I just never have, I suppose.” He looked away when their faces got too close. Sirius took a step back with a small but unmistakably cocky smile plastered on his face.
“Let me take you shopping. We have two hours.”
“Shopping where? I won’t be able to afford whatever you are wearing.”
“Then it’s a good thing I'm taking you. It’s on me, Moony.” Sirius held an arm out like a proper gentleman for Remus to take.
“Moony?” Remus took Sirius’s arm. People stared.
“It’s what I call you in my head. I never actually caught your name, funnily enough. I guess I was too distracted by the rest of you.” Sirius laughed unabashedly.
Remus smiled at Sirius because what else was there to do? He watched Sirius slap a hand over his mouth.
“Sorry. I’m supposed to be acting all proper.”
“I can’t believe you’ve been calling me Moony in your head. Why Moony?” Remus was amused, looking at Sirius blush slightly in response.
“Because when I first met you, your eyes reminded me of the moon.”
“Right. Naturally.” Remus was acting far more cool than he currently felt, trying to ground the butterflies that soared around his insides.
As they walked, one of them would every now and then try and steal a glance at the other. Most of the time, the other person was already looking.
“Remus,” He broke their silence. “My name is Remus. But I like Moony, too. I wish I could say I thought of a clever nickname, but I caught a glimpse of your bank card. Your name is Sirius, right? Like the star?”
“I used to tell people that the star was named after me.” Sirius nodded.
“And they believed it?” Remus cocked a disbelieving eyebrow.
“Yeah, kids are dumb. After I said that, there was a rumor that my parents had bought the star since they were so rich.” Sirius rolled his eyes and breathed out a laugh.
“That must have been interesting. Growing up rich, I mean. You didn’t strike me as the type, not at first.”
“Yeah, I get that a lot. I didn’t keep the tastes. My brother did– kind of. He likes expensive wine and keeps our uncle’s library well-stocked with dusty first edition books, the kind that are more expensive because whoever-the-hell touched it.” Sirius shrugged his shoulders.
“So, Remus. What about you? Any funny rumors about you in school?” He nudged him to talk about himself.
“Not really. Boring childhood.” Remus looked away, noting the establishments getting nicer as they walked further towards whatever shopping district Sirius was bringing them to.
“Sometimes that can be good.” Sirius nodded.
“Yeah, it can be.”
Sirius gave Remus a look, perhaps having noticed his vague natured answers.
“I’m an only child. How is having a brother?” Remus offered, looking back to Sirius.
“His name is Regulus and I love him to death. He’s got an attitude but wouldn’t hurt a fly. Sometimes we’re so similar that it’s like looking into a mirror, but other times he seems so foreign that it’s like he’s signing in sign language, and I'm speaking Russian, and neither of us can understand each other.”
It was Remus’s turn to laugh. He gripped Sirius’s arm tighter like he needed to be stabilized.
“If he’s even a little bit like you, I'm sure he’s a character.”
“That, he is. One of my fondest memories of him is the first time we traveled. He was a toddler and I had just started school. He asked me if we were on a different planet, and I proudly informed him that we were only in Paris. I was convinced I was the smartest person alive, knowing that,” Sirius had a far away, fond look on his face. “I miss knowing more than him. He surpassed me too quickly, I didn’t get to truly bask in it.”
“Poor you.” Remus teased.
Sirius pinched his arm.
“Piss off.”
They laughed together along the swirling streets until Sirius stopped them at a building with gilded architecture and gold letters hanging above the door in French.
“Here we are.”
Now, Remus had never been one to be impressed by money. It put him off, even. Sirius didn’t need money to be enticing when he had such a bewitching personality and devilish good looks.
So, it was entirely unexpected the way Remus felt a rush everytime Sirius carelessly waved for something Remus liked to be put at the counter for them to buy. It almost felt like an adrenaline high, knowing somebody was spending copious amounts of money on you just because you liked the color or the way it felt. Remus cringed, knowing Sirius’s rich boy tactics were working. To combat this, Remus leaned into it. He wanted to see how far Sirius would go. Already there was a collection to be shipped straight to his apartment.
“This one.” Remus eyed the suit on display in the back.
It was the most exuberant one he could find that wasn’t horrifically ugly to him. That was misleading, though. It was the most gorgeous suit he’d ever seen. It was more glamorous than the one Sirius wore and more expensive feeling than anything Remus’s lower middle class hands had ever felt.
Sirius waved at it without a second thought.
“Good choice. Armani is at the top of his game, or so I hear. What do you think…” Sirius turned to the attendant helping them, a tall slender blond man who’s name tag was pinned carefully to his lapel. “Jean-Luc?” Sirius read.
“This one is very good indeed, a design for somebody with something to say.” He said to Sirius, then looked at Remus. He swore there had been a glint of envy in his eye, if only for a moment. Some fancy suit.
“We’ll take it, Jean-Luc.” Sirius couldn’t stop eyeing up his date, and waited with an unwavering gaze for them to be left alone.
Jean-Luc scurried off to prepare the suit to be sold. Sirius grabbed Remus’s wrist at once and pulled him close. They were in the center of the store, but racks served as some cover from other wandering customers and employees. They were practically nose-to-nose.
“I can’t wait to see you in that suit.” Sirius said in a lower timbre of his voice.
“Only in the suit?” Remus asked, his voice quiet but steady like nothing was happening. Later, he would gawk and gasp at himself for being able to hold his ground with Sirius halfway to kissing him in the middle of a high-end men’s boutique. If anybody had caught them, it would have been an ordeal to say the least.
Sirius was right, Remus did like what Sirius had planned. He had taken him to a play, Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Sirius hadn’t a clue what it was about, and he didn’t learn, because the whole night he never took his eyes off of Remus in his Giorgio Armani suit, which somehow fit every line and curve of his body like it’d been custom made. Sirius was sure he wouldn’t ever be able to dream again without seeing his Moony, there in the theater, dawning a cider-tan suit made of the finest fabrics money could buy. He couldn’t close his eyes without trying to mentally undress him, the suit only pushing him farther into untouchable, godlike levels of allure.
Sirius had bought it for him. Sirius had dropped multiple thousand francs to put Remus in the suit he wanted, to buy him ties and watches without even trying them on first. Now, Remus guided Sirius to their seats like he was born going to uppity theaters just like that one. The waiters at the bar reached for their top shelf when Remus ordered for the both of them. Nobody got in their way, and for that night, the two of them couldn’t have owned the place and been more well-respected by the stuffy people around them. Sirius felt like the two of them were getting away with something. They were.
When they were coming upon where Sirius had left his bike, he stopped Remus with a hand on his.
“You seem… different.” Sirius said. He was still holding his hand.
Remus tensed up, his heart hardening.
“Bad, different?” He inquired with a rocky voice.
“Nothing of the sort. Just different.” Sirius moved his thumb over his knuckles in a way that gave Remus the chills.
“I’ll work on it.” Remus took his hand back.
Sirius’s face fell, hurt by the course gesture. Remus was recoiling back, retreating in on himself, leaving Sirius bared alone. It felt bad, so bad that in the back of his mind he could hear his mother’s voice like a whip telling him that he’d always be too much for people. Sirius took his hand back and held it with his other one like it’d been scorched.
“I didn’t mean that.” Remus blurted out. His eyes were panicked and showed more emotion than Sirius had seen from him yet. He studied it.
“What did you mean?”
They were both silent for another beat as the air tightened around them.
“I’m in uncharted waters.”
“Me too.” Sirius said. Remus stepped forward to close the distance he’d put between them.
The cool breeze tousled his hair in the way Sirius couldn’t help but to love, blowing it out of sorts and further from how Remus liked to keep it.
“I guess we’ll have to figure this out together, then.” Remus let out, breathless. Sirius matched him and took another brave step forward. They were nose-to-nose.
Remus placed his hand under Sirius’s chin and flicked his eyes from Sirius’s eyes down to his lips. He made no further movement, waiting; achingly and impossibly patient. Sirius couldn’t wait a moment longer. He surged forward and melted into the taste of Remus, feeling more himself than he’d ever felt losing track of everything except for the act of kissing Remus Lupin.
Voices, a drunk group of teenage boys, sounded from around the corner. They jumped apart and found positions feet from each other in time for the posse to turn the corner. In their drunkenness they failed to even recognize the two other men who inhabited the street. They waited until they were fully out of sight, silently watching them stumble away.
When they did, Sirius was back in front of him in an instant. He wrapped his arms around Remus’s neck.
“I’ll be seeing you, Moony. Here again, next week.” Sirius whispered in his ear.
He slinked away with a mesmerizing swing of his hips before throwing a leg over his bike and unlocking the kickstand. He looked ridiculous in an expensive suit atop a rugged-looking motorbike.
“Think of me.” Remus said to him, surprising himself.
“I haven’t stopped.” Sirius said over his shoulder. He shot him a grin, ear to ear and unnervingly contagious.
Remus waved at Sirius’s back as he sped away, watching him leave for the second time, and certainly not the last.