warm ups
It’s a long standing fact at Shiz Regional High School that the cheerleading team despises the girl’s varsity basketball team. And it’s an equally known fact that the feeling is entirely mutual. No one can pinpoint exactly where it started, really, but most suspect it came to a boiling point roughly 3 years ago, the freshman year of Elphaba Thropp and Glinda Upland.
Elphaba, the prodigy basketball player and the only one of her year to make the varsity basketball team her first season, tackled the sport the same way she tackled her life: with a hard set determination to prove herself and zero care for anything not concerning the task at hand. When on the court, she thought of nothing but the feel of the ball in her hand and the sight of the net in front of her. By junior year she was unanimously elected as captain, and if basketball meant anything to the Shiz student body she would certainly be student royalty. But that was the entire problem, in fact. The Shiz community did not care at all for the noble sport, and the team choking after making it to the final game of playoffs the previous year only cemented their total unimportance. Just the thought of that game made Elphaba grit her teeth.
And then there was Glinda, patron saint of the student body, her talents in cheer comparable to Elphaba’s in basketball. Her natural charisma and easy going charm had everyone immediately under her thumb, and senior year she too found herself captain of her respective team. But despite her famed popularity, not everyone at Shiz fawned over her. Because when a certain basketball team refused to share their gym space for winter cheer practice, it was Glinda who proposed the cheerleading team retaliate in their own way: in her entire 3 years at Shiz, the cheer team did not come to a single girl’s varsity basketball game. And Glinda’s word was law among students, really, so that meant no one came to a single girl’s varsity basketball game, barring the occasional supportive friend or family member.
Elphaba Thropp held a certain hatred for Glinda Upland that had spanned their high school years, but starting senior year she starts to get the inklings of an unlikely plan. Coming off their humiliating loss at her junior year playoffs, she’s determined more than ever to end her time at Shiz with a bang. And despite how truly unbearable she finds the cheerleading captain, Elphaba isn’t stupid. She knows that the blonde has the student body at her command, and if the basketball team was missing one thing last year, it was support. And perhaps with an actual cheer team and a filled out crowd, her team will finally get the push they need to win the playoffs and gain Shiz’s respect. The only problem is.. How? Glinda certainly doesn’t like her, and Elphaba highly doubts she’s in a generous enough mood to pay her such a big favor.
She’s startled out of her thoughts by the sound of sneakers squeaking as her team files into the gym for practice. It’s late November, the second week of practice, and there’s a high strung tension in every player following their defeat last season. Elphaba can see it in the clenched jaws and sharp energy, the air filled with the squeak of their shoes and the thud of balls as they get to work right away. She understands it, of course, perhaps more than any of them do. She has something to prove, as the captain, as a senior, this season being her final shot at high school glory. She grits her teeth as she shoots ball after ball, finding comfort in the feeling of the rough surface under her fingers. She zones out from everything else around her, only stopping to retrieve another ball or pass one to another teammate.
Once she figures warm up has gone long enough, she claps her hands loudly and they regroup in the center. Elphaba isn’t new to being captain, but she still gets a twinge of nerves at the beginning of a new season, the team roster slightly shuffled up and most players more than a little out of training after off season. It takes her a few weeks to find her footing again, and with only a couple of practices under their belt so far, she’s not quite there yet. Still, she clears her throat and does her best to put on her confident facade. It seems to work, if the awestruck freshmen are anything to go by.
Today they split into two teams to play a scrimmage game. Elphaba divides them randomly, but is glad to see Sarima is on her team. The girl made varsity last year, and has proven to be hardworking and easy going. The two often work well together on the court, and Elphaba is eager to kick off the year with a win, even if just in practice.
The game starts, and she’s dismayed to find the tension from the start of practice has only gotten higher. Elphaba notes that her teammates play rougher, Milla dashing down the court and narrowly avoiding barreling right into Sarima. Sarima, in turn, practically elbows her in return in a bid for the ball, and when Milla slaps her hand out of the way, the two are soon outright shoving each other. Elphaba, frustrated, sticks two fingers in her mouth and whistles sharply, causing everyone to freeze.
“What on earth is going on? This is a basketball scrimmage, not a wrestling team.” She stands in the center of the gym, hands perched on her hips. Sweat rolls down her cheek, and this time she doesn’t have to put on a face to seem intimidating. Her eyes practically spark as she impatiently waits for her teammates to reply.
Sarima and Milla, to their credit, seem somewhat embarrassed, but both still have an angry furrow in their brow. Milla juts her chin out, somewhat defiantly, and crosses her arms.
“I was just playing the game. It’s not my fault if she’s standing right in the way, I didn’t even hit her anyways! She’s the one who elbowed me in the ribs.”
Sarima lets out a huff of annoyance, rolling her eyes. “Please. I didn’t elbow you, I was just getting the ball. We need to play to win this season, not cry over every little bump.”
Milla opens her mouth to retort, indignant, before Elphaba steps forward, waving her arms for them to stop.
“You’re right, Sarima, we do need to play to win. And that doesn’t come from infighting and breaking rules. We’re only 2 weeks into the season and we can’t even play united. We lost our first game on Monday, and now we’re getting into petty fights in practice not even 3 days later. We need to shake whatever’s going on and get back to our A game.”
“Well maybe we’d play a little better if the school cared at all about our team. Sorry if I’m not too motivated to be playing my ‘A game’ when our crowd is five parents and a pitying cousin every game.” Milla huffs out, and Elphaba is discouraged to find other girls reluctantly nodding along around them.
The green girl pinches her nose, squeezing her eyes shut in annoyance. Finally, she takes a breath and waves a hand in the air dismissively.
“I understand it would be nice to have a little more hype, but that’s something you earn as a team. So until we get our shit together and play better, I don’t see how you expect to get that. Everyone take the rest of practice off, hit the locker rooms. We’re not going to get anything done fighting over popularity points and petty anger. Tomorrow, we come back and we train harder. That’s the only way we get better.”
Some have the decency to look a little ashamed, but many like Milla sport a frustrated expression. Still, everyone nods in acceptance and files out, and soon Elphaba is the only one left in the gym. She knows Milla’s right, in a way. She has to admit she feels the same, but she knows as captain she’s got to do something about it. And soon.
She stays in the gym for the remainder of practice time, shooting hoops to burn off steam, still lost deep in thought. By the time practice would’ve been over, her uniform is drenched in sweat, and she resigns to throwing in the towel for the night.
It is only when she throws open the locker room door that she realizes another detail to sour her night: cheerleading practice is done at the same time as theirs, and the locker room swarms with fake falsetto voices and blue swishing skirts as they pack up for the day. As Elphaba pushes her way to her locker, she wrinkles her nose at the sight of Glinda Upland a few lockers left of hers. Blonde hair swept into a ponytail that’s somewhat come apart from her practice, blue Shiz Cheer skirt traded for a pair of plain grey sweatpants, and yet she still looks frustratingly radiant. The cheer captain is deep in conversation with Pfannee, her left hand man, as she pulls a light pink sweater over the top of her uniform.
“I mean it’s just ridiculous. How do we not have any gym space to spare? I know it’s winter cheer, but we just can’t keep freezing our asses off outside every day at practice. I ought to give that green bean on basketball a piece of my mind.”
Elphaba clears her throat loudly as she pulls her bag out of the small locker, and Glinda turns quickly. A brief look of shock flickers over her face, before she schools her expression into her usual practiced smile.
“Oh, Elphaba! Fancy seeing you here. Where’s the rest of your team? Scared them all away?” She mockingly frowns, tilting her head in question. Elphaba, too tired to rise to Glinda’s bait today, shrugs in response. Pushing her glasses up her nose, she feigns disinterest, not turning while she addresses the cheerleader to keep rummaging through her locker.
“Just avoiding your obnoxious team crowding the locker room, I imagine,” she replies coolly, and tugging her jacket on, she turns to face Glinda. The cheerleader seems unimpressed, raising an eyebrow in amusement.
“Well, if you guys aren’t using the gym for practice any more, what I’m hearing is that it’s free real estate. It is way too cold to be jumping around 5 days a week outside, you know. And I think the cheer team is a little more important than the girl’s basketball here at Shiz. No offense.” The grin she flashes after she finishes speaking suggests she means complete offense.
Around them, the rest of the cheerleaders are filtering out, and after nodding along to Glinda’s remarks, Pfannee and Shenshen leave too, murmuring between them while shooting critical glances at Elphaba. Glinda herself is slinging her bag over her shoulder to leave, wrapped from head to toe in winter apparel. The princess of Shiz looks oddly soft in her pink earmuffs and sweater, blonde hair gleaming even in the washed lighting of the locker room. Elphaba may dislike the girl, but even she is forced to grudgingly admit she is really rather pretty. Wrinkling her nose at her own thoughts, she’s about to head out herself when the perfect idea strikes Elphaba. A crazy idea, yes, but just crazy enough that she wonders if that’s exactly what could save her team.
Before she can think further, she calls out, “Glinda! Wait, hold on.”
The cheerleader turns around, eyeing her with a vaguely annoyed expression.
“Yes, Elphaba? Can we wrap this up soon, please, I’ve really got better places to be than talking to you in a sweaty locker room.”
Elphaba restrains herself from rolling her eyes, and rubs the back of her neck nervously. “Well, what if I said I had a solution to both our problems. I mean, you guys hate practicing in the cold, and my team’s on the verge of quitting from the total lack of interest. But what if we teamed up?”
Glinda narrows her eyes, doubtful. “And how exactly do you propose we do that?”
“Well, if you guys just show up to our games a couple times, we can probably give you a few days a week in the gym. Max 2. But still.”
Glinda seems interested, at the very least, and walks back over to Elphaba, who leans against the lockers as she talks.
“Well that would be nice in a perfect world, but news flash, the cheer team kind of hates you guys. And you guys kind of hate us. Cheerleaders hold grudges much too strongly to cheer at your boring games just for 2 days of indoor practice.”
Elphaba clears her throat hesitantly, and then says, “Well we just need to set an example. Those girls.. and Pfannee, I guess, they hang onto every word you say. And my team respects me enough to go along. Maybe they wouldn’t listen if we just told them to do all this, but what if we showed them we had a change of heart? Nothing would change their minds more than if their famously rivaled captains.. dated?”
Glinda blinks, opens her mouth to say something, closes it again, and then guffaws. She wipes a tear from the corner of her eye, face flushed with amusement, and then catches the grimace on Elphaba’s face.
“Oh, you’re serious. Oz, I don’t know what to say, you’re just not really my type. I mean I’m flattered, really, but the whole enemies to lovers trope is really a little corny. Unfortunately I actually can’t stand you, not in the romantic secret tension way. Though that would’ve been so chic if you were literally anyone else.”
Elphaba squints, and then lets out a sigh of frustration. “Jeez, Glinda, no, I’m not asking you out. I’m saying we fake date. Something extreme like that might be the best shot at convincing our teams to get along, don’t you think? If two people like us could date, then those two teams can sure as hell work together a few hours a week. Unless you have a better plan, that’s all I can think of, take it or leave it. But if you’d prefer to freeze your ass off all season, be my guest.”
“No! Oz, no, I am so sick of this cold. It’s not my favorite plan, but.. I’ll think on it. I’ll let you know by the end of the week.” And then, deciding the conversation is finished, she turns on her heel and whisks out the door, a flurry of pink and blonde disappearing behind the closing door.
Elphaba blinks at the sudden departure, and then sits on the bench in the center of the room. Better to wait a few minutes to avoid an awkward encounter in the parking lot with Glinda after a conversation like that. As she sits, the insanity of her words swirl around in her head, and she buries her face in her hands. Oz, she just fake asked Glinda Upland out. What on earth was she doing?
. . . . . .
While Glinda leaves the locker room skeptical and on the verge of laughing in Elphaba’s face (again), by the time practice rolls around the next day she’s inclined to reconsider. It’s barely above freezing, and every time they exhale their breath is visible in the cool air. It’s miserable business, cheerleaders shivering and grumbling the entire time. By the time they hit the locker rooms, Glinda has made up her mind. Oz knows her reputation could take a hit from this, but she can stomach dating that insufferable artichoke for a few months if it means she gets to get a proper cheer practice in.
Basketball filters in soon after cheer, elbowing rudely and muttering amongst each other in response to the glares the cheerleaders send their way. Among them, Elphaba trails, talking to another girl (Sarima? Glinda might have math with her, but she can’t be sure. It’s hard to keep track of people when they’re falling all over you all day). Her green skin glistens with sweat, and she drags her hand absentmindedly across her forehead when she talks. When she catches Glinda’s eyes, a brief nervous look flits in her eyes before she looks away quickly. The cheerleader feels a twinge of satisfaction at this, because if there’s one thing Glinda Upland enjoys, it’s having the upper hand.
Like the previous day, the two idle at their lockers, talking with teammates and searching for non-existent items in their bag until at last the final lingering player leaves the locker room. Glinda turns, arms crossed, and waits for Elphaba to look at her before starting. Once she has the green girl’s attention, she primly clears her throat.
“After some consideration–”
“You mean a freezing cold practice and 20 something bitchy cheerleaders complaining about it?”
Glinda scowls, but continues. “Yes, that, whatever. My point is, fine, I’m in. With your whole little plan. Of us.. dating.” She winces at the last word, almost disbelieving that these words are leaving her mouth. Elphaba too looks as though she has just taken a bite out of a lemon.
“But! Before we start this, we need to lay some ground rules. No excessive PDA, I’m not sitting with you at lunch, and I absolutely draw the line at corny pet names. I will have none of that.” Glinda sniffs primly and waits for the other girl to pick an argument, as she tends to do (usually more for the sake of it than actual disagreement). Instead, Elphaba nods thoughtfully.
“Yeah, I agree. But we might have to do.. some PDA. I don’t think it will be believable that we’re dating if we’re standing 2 feet apart barely talking. But whatever, we’ll figure it out.”
“Alright, fine. And by the way, you should start driving me to school. Everyone knows that’s the perfect couple move. And our practice ends at the same time, so no timing issues!” Glinda smiles widely, as though she has just proposed the perfect idea.
Elphaba narrows her eyes, crossing her arms. “I wouldn’t call it a ‘perfect couple move’. More like you trying to save on gas. But sure, fine, I think you live close enough. Just text me the address.”
Glinda perks up at this, and sticks out her hand. “Oh, that reminds me. I do think girlfriends tend to have each other’s number.” She looks at Elphaba expectantly until the other girl catches on, somewhat belatedly, and hands over her phone. Glinda types in her number, and sends herself a text.
“There, perfect. Goodness, I can’t believe I’m agreeing to this. Don’t ever let it be said I do nothing for my team!” She huffs dramatically and slips on her puffy pink jacket, nodding awkwardly goodbye to Elphaba before leaving the locker room. The green girl is left standing there, also in some state of disbelief at the situation she has gotten herself into. She looks down to see her phone still open on her texts, a new message from glinda upland popping up.
don’t be late tomorrow, green bean
you already used that one
at least put in some effort upland it takes 2 seconds to google “green things”
it seems the artichoke is steamed