quarter 1
Monday morning finds Elphaba’s deep green truck parked in the Upland driveway, looking decidedly out of place. It’s not a shabby ride, as far as pick up trucks can go, but it’s certainly seen better days. The paint scratches that she never bothered to touch up and the faded leather seats stand out fairly strongly from the gleaming and sleek cars the street’s residents take great pride in. Elphaba finds a small satisfaction in fixing her truck up as her pastime, but she finds a greater thrill in the undoubted distress it likely causes the Uplands to have such an imperfect blemish parked in front of their house for their whole nosy neighborhood to take note of.
She drums her fingers on the wheel as she waits for Glinda, impatiently checking her small leather watch every other minute. If there’s one thing she can’t stand, it’s lateness, and she has an inkling of a feeling that the cheerleader is only waiting to spite her further. Which is really rather ungrateful considering Elphaba is even giving her a ride at all. When she’s on the verge of pulling out of the driveway and letting the snotty cheerleader walk, the front door swings open, and out steps Glinda, looking immaculate as always. Not a hair out place, she strides down her driveway and practically swings the truck door off its hinge as she opens it. Clambering up to sit in the passenger seat, she lets out a huff, before turning to Elphaba and raising a perfect eyebrow expectantly.
“Well, shall we? We haven’t got all day, you know,” the cheerleader remarks snarkily, already looking away to fluff her hair as she squints at the rearview mirror. Elphaba furrows her brow, taken aback.
“Yeah, I do know, actually. Though it sure feels like I waited all day for you to show up, 10 whole minutes behind when I told you I’d be here.” As she speaks, she pulls out onto the street, already hasty to get the blonde out of her truck as soon as possible. Glinda rolls her eyes in response, waving her hand dismissively.
“Well I’m here now, so let’s not quarrel. I can not miss first period, that awful Dillamond marks me late if I’m not even 15 minutes late! Not that I make a habit of tardiness. I’m actually very punctual when I try to be,” she adds primly.
“Well I’m actually in Dillamond’s class with you, which you’d know if you ever took a minute to think about people that aren’t yourself. And you’re a couple minutes late nearly every day!”
“Again, I said I’m punctual when I try to be. That class is such a bore that I simply can’t bear a couple extra minutes in it!” Elphaba, biting her tongue, only rolls her eyes in response.
A brief moment of silence passes, but Elphaba is starting to get the sense that Glinda doesn’t do very well with silence. The cheerleader fidgets in every possible way before reaching out for the radio, turning to a channel that blares an obnoxiously peppy song. Satisfied, she hums along and leans back into her seat. Elphaba narrows her eyes. Without looking over, she reaches over and flicks the radio off. Glinda huffs, and reaches to turn it back on.
“Do you mind? I’m trying to listen to music here.”
“Well it’s my truck and I’m not trying to listen to music right now,” the green girl responds through gritted teeth. She reaches over, and more aggressively than really necessary switches it off.
“Oz, you’re such a spoilsport. Loosen up! What did music ever do to you?”
“Assault my ears, that’s what. That music is awful and obnoxious.”
“You’re awful and obnoxious, my goodness. Maybe if you had a friendlier disposition people would actually like your team,” the cheerleader snarks out. At that, Elphaba’s mouth clamps shut, and she grips the wheel tighter. A tense second passes, and the dark haired girl wonders why she ever agreed to this arrangement, or really suggested her idea at all. This girl is proving to be entirely insufferable and rude, and as much as Elphaba would hate to admit it, the blonde’s words hit a nerve. The cheerleader, shifting uncomfortably, has a vaguely uncomfortable expression, as though she has realized the step too far she has taken.
“I’m sorry. That was rather improper of me. Let’s not dwindle on this petty argument, hm?” And at that she reaches over and turns the music back on, a couple notches quieter. This time, Elphaba is glad to leave it on. It fills the silence, and she does not speak another word until they pull into the Shiz parking lot.
As she turns off the truck, the air is silent again, save for the chatter of other students arriving that filters in through the windows. Elphaba stares a hole into her steering wheel until Glinda clears her throat pointedly, and annoyed, she looks up at the blonde. She’s surprised to find some shred of shame in the cheerleader’s face, hidden behind the usual plastered smile she sports.
“Listen, Elphaba, I’m terribly sorry for the misunderstanding earlier. But this is the moment we need to sell it, because nothing cements a relationship like their first walk through the hallway together.” She nods sagely as she says this, as though spewing scientifically proven fact. Elphaba muses that to her, these things practically are. Not finding it within herself to already hold a grudge so early in the morning, she sighs and shrugs in agreement.
“Sure, Glinda, alright. Remind me again what to say if people ask how it happened?”
“Goodness, you need to keep up with these things! We struck up conversation after practice, realized we weren’t so different, you fell deeply in love because of my irresistible charm, and I slowly thawed to your persistent advances.” She smiles brightly. Elphaba scoffs in response.
“Right. Completely in character for me.” And with that, she grabs her bag from the back seat and swings her door open, hopping down into the parking lot. Glinda follows suite, and when the two reconvene in front of the car, Glinda grabs Elphaba’s free hand. The green girl jumps slightly at the sudden contact, and turns to look questioningly at the other girl.
“Oz, relax. We’re trying to sell a story here! Try to look less like I’m holding you hostage and more like you genuinely enjoy my company. I’ve heard people that date generally do at least tolerate each other,” the cheerleader rattles off sarcastically, which earns another huff from Elphaba. Still, she does realize the blonde is right, and tries to seem a bit more at ease. She schools her expression to one of an amused smile, and hopes it doesn’t look too much like a pained grimace.
Glinda, unsurprisingly, is a very good actress. She giggles, honest to god giggles, whenever Elphaba makes a snarky comment under her breath, and clings to her arms like the devoted girlfriend she’s meant to be. Annoyingly, she is charming, and Elphaba does begin to relax minutely as they walk to their lockers together. Both don’t bother using a regular locker with the amount of time they spend in the locker room anyways, so they make their way to the gym to hang their coats and gear.
“Glinda! There you are, we didn’t see your car in the parking lot today.” Pfannee scurries over, Shenshen not far behind. Any comfort that Elphaba has found quickly disappears, tension coming back to her shoulders as she turns to face her lockers. Glinda too squares her shoulders slightly before plastering on her practiced polite smile.
“Oh! Pfannee, Shen, I forgot to tell you. I just grabbed a ride with Elphie here, you know, much easier than commuting separately.” She delivers this with a casual air, as though it is perfectly normal to catch rides with your sworn enemy. Her devoted followers stare at her, stunned.
“Are you alright? You don’t mean you caught a ride with.. Elphaba, right? Is Elphie a new girl?” Shenshen asks cautiously, eyes darting between the blonde and the green girl that pointedly ignores her words.
Glinda’s smile tightens, and she waves a hand dismissively. “No, silly, Elphaba of course. It’s only natural, we actually are kind of.. Together. Now. We’ve been keeping it under wraps but we figured we might as well just be open about it.”
At this, the two nearly choke on air, mouths agape. Pfannee sidles up closer to Glinda and in a faux whisper that Elphaba most definitely can still here, asks, “Did you hit your head? Is she threatening you? Please blink twice if you’re in danger, it would so ruin our season if our captain was being held hostage.”
Elphaba nearly snorts before she catches herself, shrugging on her backpack and turning towards the cheerleaders. She watches Glinda’s face as she thinks of how to respond, finding some satisfaction in the way the blonde’s eye twitches slightly in annoyance. Surely she’s regretting her decisions by now, but there’s no going back now that Pfannee and Shenshen know. Really, that means the entire school will know in about 15 minutes or so.
“No, Pfan, thank you for your concern, but I really am quite alright.”
Thankfully, Glinda is saved from further interrogation by the blaring bell, and murmuring something about being late she loops her arm through Elphaba’s and practically drags her out of the locker room. As they walk to Dillamond’s class, Elphaba turns to inspect Glinda’s expression. Surely after that awful interaction with her two minions she’s going to chicken out, realize how dumb this whole act is. But Glinda seems perfectly content, humming lightly as she drags Elphaba forward by their linked arms. For a girl of her size she really is a very fast walker.
“Are you not.. I don’t know, deterred by their reaction? I’m self aware enough to know your reputation won’t exactly be getting a positive boost by dating me.”
Glinda tilts her head thoughtfully, and then shakes it. “I’m popular enough that it can’t really bring me down enough to matter. If anything, all it’ll do is bring you up and get my name on people’s tongues. And I always like to be on people’s tongues.”
Elphaba raises an eyebrow at this wording, but Glinda doesn’t seem to notice her accidental innuendo. Elphaba finds it oddly endearing, and she does her best not to crack a smile at the airy tone Glinda uses. She might’ve found the statement self-centered had she been in a worse mood, but she must admit that really it’s just the truth. The student body loves Glinda far too much to let something as silly as a nerd girlfriend bring her down.
“And besides, I desperately need those indoor practices. I was simply not built for cold weather, back in Gillikin we’re raised on sunshine and fresh air, you know.” Glinda states this matter of factly, and coming to an abrupt stop, she lets go of Elphaba’s arm. She tosses her hair twice and then steps into the room, and belatedly the basketball player realizes they’ve arrived at Dillamond’s classroom. She’s surprised to find Glinda beckoning her to an empty seat beside her, though at this point she should be used to Glinda’s insistence. The blonde is dedicated to the act, she has to give her credit for that.
Elphaba listens, rapt, as Dillamond lectures for most of class. They’re talking about Munchkinland history today, a topic of particular interest to the dark-haired girl, and by the time the bell rings her notebook has multiple new pages filled with her scrawled handwriting. Looking over, she finds Glinda to be on the same page she began on, with a few measly bullet points jotted down. Instead, she’s bent over an intricate drawing in the corner, flowers blooming and curling around the page. It’s actually rather impressive, considering Elphaba hadn’t even known she liked art in the first place, but she does find some annoyance that the blonde seems to have zero care for the actual history they’re learning.
She waits impatiently for the blonde to pack up her books, tapping her foot as she looks around. Their next classes are close enough to each other that the other girl will probably insist on walking together, and sure enough when she springs up, bag packed, she immediately grabs Elphaba’s hand once more.
She must catch the green girl’s scowl, because she tsks lightly and shakes her head. “Come on now, Elphie, think of the long run. People like me. So they’ll like you. So they’ll like your team. I think you can stomach holding my hand for 2 minutes in the hallway, no?” She blinks sweetly, but there’s a challenging look in her eyes that seems to goad her on. Pursing her lips, Elphaba practically yanks Glinda by the hand down the hallway.
“What’s with ‘Elphie’? Got tired of googling green objects for your half-baked metaphors?”
“What, you don’t like it? I think a cute nickname is exactly what you needed.”
“I don’t know, it seems a little perky.”
“Exactly!”
She doesn’t dignify that with a response, not in the mood to rile herself up in another argument with the blonde. Soon enough Glinda is dropping her hand to go to her own class, and Elphaba gets her first free moment of the day.
Her classes blur by fairly fast, and she’s grateful it was Glinda who insisted they not eat lunch together. She rather likes her usual table, though she’s sure Glinda would shudder at the thought of being caught sitting there. There’s Boq, of course, a somewhat clingy but sweet nerd who excels in the computer classes. He’s easily found in any crowd from the bright mop of orange hair that desperately needs a cut, and while sometimes a stickler they’ve been good friends for long enough that Elphaba doesn’t mind his occasional irksome comment. Sitting next to him is usually Fiyero, the hockey boy who doesn’t quite mesh with the rowdier and ruder members of his team. He is distinguishable by his much nicer hair and gleaming smile, and after a brief stint of dating he and Elphaba settled on being the best of friends. His easy going personality is a good contrast to Boq’s more pressed one, and the two have always been proud members of the measly student section at Elphaba’s games. They’re usually joined by Sarima and a few other girls on the team, depending on the day, but Elphaba prefers the days when it’s just the three of them, where conversation flows the easiest and she finds herself most at ease.
As she drops her tray onto the lunch table today, the unappetizing school pizza glaring up at her in all its greasy glory, she finds herself searching the room for a certain blonde cheerleader she’s gotten used to seeing throughout the day. Glinda and the cheerleading team usually sit a couple tables over from Elphaba and her friends, airily laughing at whatever football guy’s jokes they’re trying to get into the pants of this week. As Elphaba takes a bite of her apple, chewing absentmindedly, she watches as Glinda pushes her salad around with her fork, occasionally forcing a smile when addressed directly. Otherwise, the blonde seems surprisingly quiet, lost in her own thoughts. Elphaba wonders if something’s wrong, or if this is just always how the other girl has been. She can’t really say she paid much attention to the blonde’s habits and quirks before today.
“Elphaba, did you hear what I said?” Her gaze snaps to Fiyero, who sits across the table looking at her amusedly. Blinking, she winces apologetically and shakes her head.
“I said, can you come to the hockey game tonight? The school we’re playing really isn’t all that good, so we’re pretty much guaranteed a win. It’s at 5:30, right after your practice ends.”
Elphaba racks her brain and can find no excuse not to, so shrugs in agreement as she begins to pick away at the rancid cheese pizza she chose. “Sure, why not. Home game, right?”
Fiyero nods, pleased, and then turns back to Boq to bother him about coming as well. All three of them know it’s a lost cause, considering Boq is really the entire opposite of the usual rowdy crowds at Fiyero’s games, but Fiyero still seems to find some enjoyment in pestering the ginger. Boq, glued to his math homework, rolls his eyes in a mix of exasperation and amusement.
As lunch ends, Elphaba stands to dump the remainders of her tray in the trash. She watches as Glinda comes over, barely touched salad in hand, to do the same. When she notices Elphaba standing in front of the bins, she smiles her practiced smile. Elphaba, having briefly forgotten their whole situation, blinks in surprise as the blonde reaches to grab her hand.
“Hello again. Morrible next, we’d better hurry. I’ve heard she’s in a simply awful mood today, at least worse than usual, and I do not feel like staying behind for detention with her of all people.” Glinda chatters as she tugs Elphaba down the hall, effortlessly weaving through the crowd. Or no, Elphaba realizes, it seems the crowd almost parts for her, people shifting to get out of her way as their eyes track the cheerleader down the hallway.
“By the way, you’re still giving me a ride home after school, right? Since you were kind of my way here. Oz I hope your car has heating, it’s really starting to get cold after practice these days.” Elphaba freezes, guiltily, and mentally chastises herself. Now that she’s agreed to come to Fiyero’s game, she’d feel really rather awful canceling, but Glinda will certainly not take no for an answer when it comes to carpooling home.
The blonde girl must sense her sudden tenseness, and turns to narrow her eyes at Elphaba. “Don’t tell me you forgot. What exactly is so important to keep you even longer after practice? Usually by that time I’m practically itching to be in the comfort of my home.”
“I just told my friend Fiyero I’d come to his hockey game tonight, it starts 15 minutes after our practice ends. I suppose I can try and make it up to him some other time, their regular season doesn’t end for a while.” Elphaba rubs the back of her neck, resigned despite her disappointment. Glinda, surprisingly, has a small furrow in her brow, lost in thought.
“Well why don’t I just come with you? It shouldn’t be too busy, surely there will be enough seats. I don’t mind staying, I always did enjoy watching a hockey game or two back in Gillikin with my Popsi- I mean, my father.”
“Would you really? It could take up to 2 hours, depending how bad they play. But apparently we’re guaranteed to win, so we could be done by 6:45. And I’d drive you home afterwards, of course.”
Glinda waves a hand dismissively, unbothered. “Oh that’s perfectly fine, I don’t mind at all. Besides, it can be our first date! The more people who see us as a couple, the better this plan works. Remind me again when your playoffs are?”
“Couple of months away. Still plenty of time, but you’re right. It’s a date.” She grimaces at the words, but Glinda either doesn’t notice or pointedly ignores it. Probably the latter, considering the way she practically drags Elphaba by the elbow to Morrible’s classroom as the bell rings.
As they sit, Elphaba muses that maybe Glinda Upland isn’t so bad after all.
. . . . . .
She meets Glinda in the locker rooms, both having thrown on their school day outfits over their uniforms. As they walk to Elphaba’s truck, the rink a few minutes’ drive away, their breath is visible in the freezing air.
“It’s so cold, I hate how early the sun sets these days.”
“I didn’t realize we were at the half-assed small talk stage of this fake relationship. Really rounding the bases, Elphie,” Glinda snarks as she shivers and wraps her arms around herself tighter.
“Oz forbid I try and make conversation, jeez.” Elphaba clambers into her truck, throwing her backpack into the back seat. Glinda follows suit, still shivering despite her ridiculously puffy coat and knitted hat. The drive over is quick enough that she doesn’t feel the need to try and talk again, content to stay in their odd stage of barely friends yet supposedly dating.
They pay for their tickets at the door, and then rush inside to find seats. Considering it’s a Monday night, it isn’t too busy, mostly family and friends scattered around the rink. Elphaba pulls Glinda to a seat in the front row near the middle, already scanning the ice.
“Oh look! There’s Fiyero warming up.” She gestures to her friend, who is passing a puck back and forth with his teammate. His helmet isn’t on yet, and his cheeks are slightly flushed from the chill of the ice. He reaches an absent-minded hand to run through his hair, intentionally mussing it, and Elphaba laughs a little at the action. Clearly he intends to catch the eye of some onlooker with his supposedly candid looks, but she finds it makes him look a little ridiculous.
Looking back to Glinda, she’s exasperated to find that his charms very much have worked on her. She eyes him with interest, lips pursed as she observes his movements.
“Really, Glinda? Ew. No way. And anyways, you’re kind of not supposed to eye up people when going on your first date with someone. Really sort of rude etiquette.”
Glinda scoffs, placing a placating hand on her leg. “Goodness Elphie, relax. I’m simply observing the team. I told you I’m an avid hockey fan!” But the slight quirk at the side of her mouth gives her away, and Elphaba can’t help but be amused as well. That is, until Glinda opens her mouth again.
“You know Elphaba, I’m rather surprised you two dated. He’s really quite a catch, not too hard on the eyes at all.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? That he’s too out of my league? I’ll have you know I dumped him, thanks.” Elphaba feels a slight bit insulted by the cheerleader’s belittling tone, and annoyance seeps into her voice.
“Oh I didn’t mean anything by it! I just meant he could’ve had real potential in my crowds, dated some popular girls. Imagine the power he could have in an actual couple, maybe a cheerleader or something. Shame he didn’t go into football, maybe he can have a late start next season?”
“Wow, much better, thanks for the clarification.” Elphaba practically fumes, tired from practice and suddenly sick of Glinda’s constant presence throughout her day.
She leans forward to rest her elbows on her knees and keeps her eyes glued to the ice for the rest of the game. Soon enough she forgets to be mad, cheering for Fiyero and snarking under her breath at bad calls, but still she gives Glinda the cold shoulder. She had made the mistake of forgetting that Glinda at her core is too detached from the world around her, too stuck in her perfect little bubble to even consider that she might not be the saint she thinks herself to be.
At the end, she stops to hug Fiyero before walking back to her truck with Glinda. The blonde, oblivious to her anger, chatters about the game the entire way there, until at last Elphaba interrupts her by slamming the truck door shut behind her.
“My goodness! What’s got your leaves in a twist?”
“Oz Glinda, you’re so full of it. Always in your own world.”
“What on earth does that mean? Where is this coming from, I thought we were having a splendid time at the game. I actually rather enjoyed it surprisingly, particularly that play-”
“Glinda! Exactly my point. You just say whatever you want and expect people around you to be grateful to even hear your perfect little voice. You talk about stupid popularity dynamics like you’re spreading the gospel, Oz, wake up.” She clutches the wheel in front of her, and turning to glare at Glinda she finds an expression of mixed shock and outrage gracing the girl’s features.
“No, Elphaba, I think you need to wake up. News flash, not caring about my so-called stupid popularity dynamics is why your team is the flop of the school, which is why we’re in this little pretend situation at all. Popularity matters, and if you could get off your high horse of being above caring then maybe you’d realize it. Goodness, is this about that silly comment about Fiyero earlier? Don’t take everything so seriously, you know I didn’t mean it that way. You just need to commit to this act a little more, the sooner we fool people the sooner we’re done.”
Elphaba narrows her eyes in response. “Maybe it would be easier to act if you weren’t so dreadfully intolerable. My goodness, we’re not even friends, how can you expect me to pretend to like you like that?”
Glinda blinks in response, thrown. For a moment Elphaba almost regrets her words, before the cheerleader quickly schools her expression into one of pure and utter loathing.
“Well we’re not here to make friends, Elphaba. So you need to start trying a little harder.”
The drive home after that is silent and tense, and when Glinda steps out into her driveway, she practically slams the truck door off its hinges as she closes it. Elphaba drives home fuming, and that night she falls asleep with one thought on her mind: if one of them is winning in this little game, it’s going to be her. She will not let Glinda Upland have the last laugh.