Chapter 14
Lissa and Aaron were back together and it seemed that Mia blown up when she found out about the party. So, they broke up and it seemed that Lissa and Aaron were together now. My heart ached for Christian. Lissa's bond feelings showed only mild interest, but she was only pretending, it was all for show. She was not happy. And that worried me a lot, this was not healthy. Mia was sitting on the far side of the room, eyes fixed pointedly ahead, ignoring the consolations of the friends near her. She had blotchy pink patches on her pale face, and her eyes were red rimmed. Lissa had destroyed her, just as Mia had vowed to do to us. But I didn't feel very good about that either. This whole situation was so screwed up.
The only person more miserable than Mia was Christian. I left the 'happy couple' and headed to Ms. Carmack, the teacher who taught elemental basics. "Rose, right?" She seemed surprised to see me but not angry or annoyed like half the other teachers did lately, not that I did anything to cause such an annoyance. My grades were perfect, my work done neatly, homework always done correctly and on time. I showed up to class, never mouthed off and did what was expected of me. Just comes to show, you can't live down your reputation. "Yes, I have a question about magic." She raised an eyebrow. "Sure. What do you want to know?" "I was listening to the priest talk about St. Vladimir the other day.... do you know what element he specialized in, St Vladimir, not the priest?” I clarified and watched her frown in deep thought. "Odd. As famous as he is around here. I'm surprised that never comes up. I'm no expert but in all the stories I've heard, he never did anything that I'd say connects to any one of the elements. Either that or no one ever recorded it." "What about his healings? Is there an element that lets you perform those?” I asked again. "No, not that I know of." Her lips quirked into a small smile. "People of faith would say he healed through the power of God, not any sort of elemental magic. After all, one thing the stories are certain about is that he was full of spirit." There was that word again, was it really that simple. Spirit as an element? "Is it possible he didn't specialize?" I asked again and her smile faded. "Rose is this really about St. Vladimir or is it about Lissa?" She asked me with a very sympathetic look on her face. "Both." I answered and she looked at me surprised. "And Miss Karp did she specialize?" Ms. Carmack got that uncomfortable look all teachers did when anyone ever mentioned Ms. Karp. "Actually --I almost forgot. I think she really was one of the rare ones who never specialized. She just always kept a very low control over all four." Should I tell her what I knew? No definitely not, not after I talk to Lissa first. I thanked her and left.
So many people wanted to talk to Lissa now that she barely noticed my silence. Laughing and gossiping all day was taking its toll on her. I was worried when I saw the tired look on her face. "Mission accomplished Liss, you can stop Project Brainwash." I told her when we sat on the benches in the courtyard, and she swung her legs back and forth. "What do you mean?" She asked me. "You've done it. You stopped people from making my life horrible. You destroyed Mia. You stole Aaron. Play with him for another couple of weeks and then drop him and the other Royals. You'll be happier." I told her. "You don't think I'm happy now?" I gave her a look. "I know you are not happy now." I stated. "If I stop now, Mia will just start up again. This way, she can't bother us." Lissa told me.
"It's not worth it, if everything else is bothering you." I tried again but she sure was stubborn. "Nothing's bothering me." She was defensive. "Yeah? Because you're so in love with Aaron? Because you can't wait to have sex with him again?" I mocked and she glared at me. "Have I mentioned you can be a huge bitch sometimes?" I ignored that. "I'm saying you've got enough shit to worry about without all this. You're burning yourself out with all the compulsion you are using." And me I added in my head. "Rose!" She glanced anxiously around. "Be quiet!" She commanded on edge. "But it's true. Using it all the time is going to screw with your head. For real." I told her worried. "Don't you think you're getting carried away?" Lissa rolled her eyes. "What about Ms. Karp?" Lissa's expression went very still. "What about her?" Lissa asked completely flabbergasted that I'd bring her up. "You are just like her." I explained. "No, I'm not!" Outrage flashed in those green eyes. "She healed too, she compelled us to leave, and I saw scratches on her face and arms." I ticked off everything that was the same between them. "That doesn't mean anything." Lissa said. But I saw the worry in her eyes.
"St. Vladimir could do it too, and he had Anna, his shadow kissed guardian. It is just like you and me. Lissa, the reason you are not specializing is because they don't know anything about your specialization." I told her now convinced that I was right. I promised her to give her the books I was reading from. I told her everything I found out, and what I remembered from the books. About the super compulsion, how they hurt themselves when they were upset. How St. Vladimir tried to kill himself and Anna stopped him. "I don't know what is crazier, what you're actually telling me, or the fact that you actually read something to find all this out." I grinned at her, relieved that she was taking this so well. "Hey, I know how to read too." "I know you do. I also know it took you a year to read the Da Vinci Code." She laughed and I joined her. Maybe old Rose, but I loved to read. "I just want you to be ok, Lissa. I want you to be happy. You must want to hang out with them, not force yourself to be with them just because you feel obligated to." "It's not that easy Rose, I can't ignore these people forever. I'm royal too. My parents would have wanted ---" Lissa started to say but I interrupted. "They would have wanted you to be happy. Most of the Royals suck." I grumbled thinking about a few I've had to deal with. "And a lot of them are going to help rule the Moroi. Andre knew that. He wasn't like the others, but he did what he had to do because he knew how important they were." Lissa told me. I just sighed not in the mood to argue the messed up political system. Really grateful that I did not have to deal with that. "How about this, you are worried about me becoming like them -- like Ms. Karp and St. Vladimir -- right? Well, she said I shouldn't use my powers, that would make things get worse if I did. What if I just stop? Compulsion, healing everything." She told me and I narrowed my eyes at her examining her facial expression. "You would do that? No healing no matter how cute and cuddly the animal. And no more compulsions to dazzle the royals." I asked and she nodded seriously. "I can do it. Will that make you feel better?" She asked me. "Yeah, until we know more about these powers, and its dangers." I explained and she nodded. I was not going to tell her to stop indefinitely, I just needed to find a way to deal with the darkness before we can continue. Black fire seemed to work but where can I expel that? My trunk was out of the question, if I destroy that.... I did not even want to think about it, it is not as if I could replace it. It would have been easier if I could find some Strigoi to use it on, that would have been perfect. But I did not even know where to start looking for that.
The security in this place was too dangerous to do it on the training yard and I could burn down the school. I was afraid of damaging the wards too, for now I needed to think, and she needed to chill with the magic until I could find a way to get a proper outlet. "You have made your point with Aaron; you should not hang out with him, or you know have sex with him. He is dull and boring." Lissa laughed. "You think everyone is boring." Lissa smiled. "Christian isn't." I grinned at her and she frowned upset. "He is being such a jerk. He stopped talking to me." Lissa complained. "Because and I quote, he cannot hang out with Princess Lissa anymore, He thinks him hanging out with you won't be good for your reputation." I decided to help him out a bit. She looked up at me in shock. "How do you know, have you seen him?" Lissa asked and she couldn't hide the interest flaring in her from me. "Yes, he is the one who brought me the books." I told her and that got her thinking but didn't say anything about it. We said our goodbyes and, on my way, back across the quad I saw Christian. "Hey." I trailed awkwardly, truth is I think he is really hot, but we had nothing in common. He liked Lissa, and I think we could be really great friends. He reminded me of Jeremy a bit and that is why I decided to try and become his friend.
"So, I found a lot of great information on Vladimir in the books, thank you for bringing it to me. I quickly filled him in on the basics of it. "I think you should hang out with Lissa again; you are good for her." "I don't think I can, Rose not when she is always surrounded by all those royals." Christian told me. "I don't get it; you are royal too?" I frowned at him irritated with both their stubborn asses. "Doesn't mean much in a family full of Strigoi?" he said snidely. I sighed. "People are so stupid, apparently I am a bloodwhore and that simply isn't possible since I'm actually a vir -- I mean it is not possible, the only one that drank from me was Lissa." I felt my face heat up and Christian gaped at me. "You have never had s--" "Shut up Ozera!" I yelled at him. "But all those stories--" Christian asked in surprise. "Yeah, and how many of those stories of you are true. People are stupid." He grinned at me. "Yeah, they are." We were still standing in the quad. "I'm sorry, I have no idea how that must have been like for you." Those crystal-blue eyes went unfocused. "It was like seeing an army of Death invade my house." Christian said. "Your parents?" I asked and he shook his head. "The guardians who came to kill them. I mean, my parents were scary, yeah, but they still looked like my parents -- a little paler, I guess. Some red in their eyes. But they walked and talked the same way. I didn't know anything was wrong with them, but my aunt did. She was watching me when they came for me." He told me. "Were they going to convert you? You were really little." I asked horrified. "I think they were going to keep me until I was older, then turn me. Aunt Tasha wouldn't let them take me. They tried to reason with her, convert her too, but when she wouldn't listen, they tried to take her by force. She fought them -- got really messed up -- and then the guardians showed up." His eyes drifted back to me. He smiled but there was no happiness in it.
"Like I said an army of Death. I think you're crazy Rose, but if you turn out like the rest of them, you're going to be able to do some serious damage one day. Even I won't mess with you." He had a miserable life, and that was the reason I was drawn to him, I kept collecting them. Those who had horrible lives. Trying to make it better. "You are a good guy Christian, don't let anyone tell you differently. Wish we could hang out more, but I have to go back to my cell, I mean room. Being punished for something I didn't actually do sucks really bad." I complained and he looked at me surprised and pulled me back when I tried to leave. "What do you mean, didn't you trash Greg's room?" He asked with a frown. "You take this to your grave?" I made him promise and he nodded. "Well Lissa sort of compelled him to do it to his own room because he was messing around with this really high feeder girl, and she thought it was not right and wanted to teach him a lesson. I took the blame to protect her. And I know now that we were compelled to leave by Karp." I told him. "That is messed up Rose." Christian said surprised. "It is what it is. Lissa could really use help. I could use help." I tried again with Christian. "I know Lissa can use help. Hey, don't look so surprised I know there's something funny going on with her."
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "If I catch Lissa alone ... I'll try to talk to her. But honestly .... if you really want to help her ... well I know I'm supposed to be all anti-establishment, but you might get the best help talking to somebody else. Kirova, your guardian guy. I don't know. Someone who knows something. Someone you trust." Christian said. "Lissa wouldn't like that. I promised." I frowned. I hated that I knew he was right. "Yeah well, we all have to do things we don't like. That's life." Christian said. "What are you an after school special?" I said sarcastically. A ghostly smile flickered across his face. "You should probably head back before you are accused of sleeping with me too." Christian teased. I gave him my best glare. "Screw you, and you are not allowed to talk about anything I might have let slip." I heard him chuckle as I walked away.