Blur
Amira was out of breath as she climbed back to her feet. The Dark Lord was pushing her hard today. They were working on casting spells and using a shield at the same time. She had the hang of it when it came to defending against Bellatrix, but the Dark Lord was a whole different story. He was so strong, and he was so fast. He used magic in ways that she would have never even thought of.
He hissed something to his snake as he allowed her to catch her breath. Amira watched intently. The Dark Lord talked to his snake often. Amira couldn’t understand what they said, but there was an odd energy that passed between the two of them. She once wondered if Nagini wore a collar of some sort infused with the Dark Lord’s magic but she couldn’t see one.
Sometimes, when Amira would be somewhere in the manor, she would sense that the Dark Lord was coming, but when she turned the corner, all she would see was Nagini. Overtime, she’d been able to recognize the difference between their magical signatures, but it was miniscule. It was like Nagini was just a slightly muted and smaller version of the Dark Lord.
“Again,” the Dark Lord commanded. Amira took a breath and readied her shield. She was able to call it up quickly now, and it no longer put any strain on her. She also didn’t get the same high feeling afterwards. After her training sessions, she felt a buzz, always, but nothing like the euphoric haze that used to overtake her.
The Dark Lord was tricky, because he didn’t always use obvious spells. He used objects and the elements. They would come from in front of her, behind her, above, and below.
Another new discovery that Amira had had was that in moderation, she could use the ultra sensitivity to magic that she had to her advantage. Instead of being overwhelmed by it, when she was actively dueling, she could almost use it like it was a super power. She was still working out the kinks of it, and she hadn’t told anyone about it yet.
When she had panic attacks earlier on, the magic would rush at her in such high definition and clarity that she would become overwhelmed and lose her ability to function. When she was actively in a duel, she could use that, and see the magic that was coming at her in such focus that she knew exactly how to defend or avoid it. She was ultra aware of every curse being thrown at her, and time even seemed to slow just a bit.
She had an inkling that if she could work on the skill even more, she’d be able to sense the spells even before her opponent cast them, simply by focusing on what their magic was doing in their arm before it even got to their wand. She was a long way from that, but she was determined to see if it could be done.
The Dark Lord raised a hand and a beam of white light shot down the floor towards her. She leapt over it and allowed the shield to rise with her so it wouldn’t be damaged. The Dark Lord had taught her that when it was possible, avoiding was better than forcing the shield to take the brunt of the spell damage.
He then flicked his wrist to the left, and a gust of wind slammed into her from the side, but because she had the shield, she was able to send it around the front of her and back at him. She decided she’d been on the defensive too long, so she conjured some small pointed rocks to ride the wind current in his direction.
He spun his hand and the wind became a tornado that surged back at her. She hadn’t encountered this before. She improvised. As it approached her rapidly, she sent a panicked blasting spell at it, which dismantled it and sent it in all directions. The only unfortunate thing was that it sent it back at her as well, so she dove under the shards of rock that she had created before they could destroy her shield or put cracks in it that the Dark Lord could exploit. She rolled to her feet to see a beam of red light coming directly for her head.
The shield was her only defense there, and absorbed the blast. She whipped out three disarming curses, hoping one of them would hit him. They didn’t, but one came close.
She almost felt confident for a moment, and as if he sensed it, he mumbled a string of latin that she didn’t recognize. She felt a new type of magic and suddenly her lungs burned and she passed out before she could even realize she was suffocating.
She woke up on the floor with the Dark Lord standing over her.
"Better," he said, "You're improving."
“What was that?” she asked, sitting up.
“I vanished the air around your head,” he said like that was normal. She stood and rubbed her chest, which felt a little sore, like her lungs had just been through something strenuous.
She redid her ponytail which had fallen out due to the intense fighting.
"Bella," the Dark Lord called, "Come join us."
Bellatrix had been watching from the safe corner of the dining room. She stood excitedly. Amira watched warily as the two squared up to face her.
"What are we doing?" she asked nervously.
"You're not going to have only one opponent realistically," the Dark Lord said with a dangerous grin. Amira took a step back as they raised their wands.
“I’m not sure I’m ready for this,” she admitted.
“No one ever is,” Bella cackled. “We’ll play nice.”
“You never play nice,” Amira argued, raising her shield.
“Enough talking,” the Dark Lord commanded. Bellatrix and Amira would begin to get into arguments frequently. They were often sarcastic and witty, and they both knew there was no harm done, but he grew tired of it. Now, he would stop them the second they started so that he wouldn’t have to deal with it.
Bellatrix just laughed knowingly, and then with no warning, shot purple light at Amira. She dodged it, but it was so hot that she could feel the heat as it passed her. She shot back a spell that would turn into fire once it hit its target.
She didn’t really know any spell’s names, just what they did. Sometimes, she’d just come up with her own on the spot, not knowing if they were an actual spell or not.
The Dark Lord was shooting a slow row of dark green and blue hexes at her. She knew he could go faster, but appreciated that he was giving her time to breathe, for now at least. She dodged those as Bellatrix was being more creative, using more unpredictable spells.
She stopped trying to send curses back and simply tried to avoid and defend. When she could, she’d deflect one of their own curses back at the other, but that was all she could manage. They weren’t even trying their hardest, and she was fighting for her life.
The Dark Lord switched out the green spell for a much bigger orange one and Amira could sense extreme pain if she lagged and got hit with it. It caught the corner of her shield and the whole thing shuddered, making her falter and allow Bella’s spell to hit the shield as well.
They didn’t give her a second to recover, and before she knew it, her shield was getting hit left and right. She tried to reinforce it, but their spells were becoming so overwhelming that she couldn’t focus on it.
Another spell that she hadn’t even seen crashed into her shield and she stumbled backwards. Those orange spells were making it hard to think about anything else. They were so intense.
Amira started to wonder if this was still only a training session. Terror creeped up her spine. They weren’t letting up at all. Another spell put a huge dent in her shield. She couldn’t even see past the magical energies to look at the other two anymore.
“Wait,” she tried to say but it came out as a croak. The room was spinning and she was starting to lose track of what was what.
The spells were too much. There was a hole in her shield now she thought, though she couldn’t feel it clearly enough to be sure. Pain radiated up her left arm, and Amira couldn’t even begin to figure out what had caused it.
She fell to her knees and dropped the shield, hoping that her attackers would show her mercy. She couldn’t see. She couldn’t feel anything. The magic was rushing at her at the speed of light, completely overwhelming every single one of her senses.
One magical force approached her and she scrambled backwards. There was yelling. Her back hit a wall. She was trapped.
She couldn’t get out. She couldn’t breathe. She didn’t know where she was. She was going to die.
Draco was reading up on curses in the library, trying to figure out if there was any he might utilize against Dumbledore when his mark burned.
He looked up at the time and he frowned. It was the middle of Amira’s training with the Dark Lord, and still several hours until dinner when he normally received summons.
He stood and carefully placed a bookmark in the book. He left the main library and almost immediately ran into Aunt Bella.
“Oh good, Draco, I was looking for you,” she said. She looked serious.
“The Dark Lord has called for me,” he told her.
“I know, come on,” she urged him, hurriedly walking towards the dining room.
“Is everything okay?” he asked, keeping up with her, “Did something happen?”
“She’s having a fit,” Bellatrix said, sounding a mix between worried and annoyed. She pushed open the doors to the dining room.
First, Draco scanned the dining room and didn’t see anyone but the Dark Lord. Then he noticed Amira curled in the corner of the room nearest to the Dark Lord against the wall.
Wind was whipping around the room and the portraits on the walls were shaking.
He hurried over to the Dark Lord. He wanted to run to her, but he didn’t dare do that without instruction.
“My lord?” he asked.
“She’s inconsolable,” the Dark Lord hissed. “What is happening?”
Draco looked at the way Amira was grabbing tightly onto her hair and hiding her face in her knees.
“I think she's overwhelmed,” he pointed out the obvious, trying to sound calm, “This happens sometimes.”
“I thought the two of you had it under control,” he hissed, red eyes flashing angrily.
“We did my lord,” Draco assured him.
“Then why is this happening?” the Dark Lord demanded.
“I would have to ask her,” Draco said carefully, “May I ask what you were doing before this?”
“We were working on dueling,” Bellatrix chimed in, “Two on one for the first time.”
Draco reasoned that that would be an overwhelming amount of magic for her to take in.
“I told her to calm down, she won’t listen,” the Dark Lord snapped.
“She is probably having a hard time comprehending anything right now,” Draco explained, “She loses where she is.”
He looked back over to her and his heart ached. He wanted to help her so desperately, but he had still not been given permission. He noticed that she was rocking back and forth slightly now, and her hands were tightly clenched in her hair. He saw red self-inflicted fingernail streaks down her arm that looked so deep that they could be bleeding.
“Fix it.”
Draco nodded quickly and went over to her as nonchalantly as he could, fighting his every impulse to run to her and pull her into his arms.
He knelt gently next to her.
“Amira,” he said quietly, fully aware of the eyes on him. She didn’t respond. He was worried she was pulling her own hair out so he decided to start there.
“Okay, let’s stop that,” he said quietly, hoping that even if she couldn’t understand him, she would at least register his voice and his magic.
He reached out and untangled her left hand from her hair.
“There we go,” he said calmly, “Everything’s alright.”
He was trying to seem as detached as he could while still giving her the comfort he knew she needed to escape the chaos in her mind.
He placed her first hand on his leg so that he could work on untangling the other. He cringed at the strands of hair that fell out as he removed her hand.
“Okay,” he said, holding her hand, “Focus on me now.”
Her hand squeezed his leg as if realizing that he was there for the first time. He was shielding her mostly from view of the other two.
“You’re okay,” he soothed, “Everything will calm down in a moment.”
A quick glance over his shoulder showed Bellatrix and the Dark Lord waiting impatiently.
“You’re in the dining room,” he told her, “You’re safe, and your magic is going a little wild right now but everything will be okay when you calm down. Nothing bad is happening.”
She took a hiccuped breath, eyes still squeezed shut. She squeezed his hand tightly.
“There you go, good,” he said, “Another deep breath.”
He coaxed her through a few more. He would’ve liked to keep going, but he was nervous to take too long in front of the Dark Lord.
“Alright, open your eyes now, it’ll be okay,” he said. She did as she was told after a few moments. She looked at him, terror written across her face.
“I know,” he whispered, “It’s alright, I’ve got you.”
Then louder, for the benefit of the others he said, “It’s getting better right?”
He was hoping to just get some sort of response from her to prove that she hadn’t lost her mind. She nodded just once, and he hoped it was enough.
He turned his head, “My lord, she’s calming down now.”
She was shaking, and he wanted to hug her, and he was just hoping that if the Dark Lord was satisfied, he’d let them go and Draco would actually be able to comfort her in the way that he needed.
“Stand up,” he ordered them.
Draco prayed that Amira could do it.
“Okay, come on now, we need to stand up,” he said softly. He took her one hand and started to climb to his feet. Somehow, she seemed to understand that they needed to. Her eyes were starting to dart around the room like crazy, and Draco worried about her balance, so he wrapped an arm around her waist to guide her into a standing position. Once she was stable, he let go of her waist, but kept her hand. He whispered, “Good girl.” before turning to face the Dark Lord.
“Explain,” the Dark Lord said, and gestured to their hands.
“She has a hard time identifying magic, my lord,” he said, “We’ve spent a lot of time together, and I’ve helped her through many of these, so when she can tangibly feel my magic, it’s the fastest way for her to gain her bearings.”
“She doesn’t look very stable,” Bella pointed out. Draco thought it was ironic coming from her.
“She’s still having a hard time concentrating,” Draco reworded, observing the way Amira’s eyes were flitting from place to place, more often than not landing on the Dark Lord.
“How long until we can continue?” the Dark Lord asked impatiently.
“I’m not sure, my lord,” Draco said nervously, knowing that Amira probably wouldn’t be capable of continuing that day, “The magic that she was exposed to was more than she’d ever been before.”
Suddenly, Draco felt incredibly unprepared for the position he was in. He was sixteen, and he didn’t know enough about magical theory, health, or mental stability to be in the position to be advocating for someone else against the Dark Lord. They were treating him like he was the expert, and he truly had no idea what he was doing. The only reason he’d had success with her was because he cared. He paid attention. He had been there. Amira didn’t have anyone else, and Draco would not throw her to the wolves. He was happy to help, but it was stressful to have the Dark Lord demanding answers in this way.
“Perhaps we should adjourn for the day?” Bellatrix suggested. She looked slightly more concerned for Amira. Draco knew that his aunt cared about Amira and her potential to the Dark Lord in some twisted way.
“Yes,” The Dark Lord hissed, “We will need to come up with a solution to this. When Draco is at school we will not be able to call him whenever she… is overcome.”
With that, he glided out of the room, and Bellatrix gave them one more inquisitive look before she followed him.
As soon as they were gone, Draco turned to Amira and pulled her into a hug.
“Okay, it’s okay,” he whispered in her ear, “Let’s go upstairs.”
She was shaking badly, and clutching to him. He kept her tucked under his arm and guided her out of the room and up the stairs. Several times she tripped, and he would catch her. At the top of the stairs she tripped a final time, and he looked around to make sure there was no one watching before he simply scooped her up and cradled her.
He took her to her room the way he so often did. It was becoming a habit. He set her on the bed and pulled the covers up over her. She grabbed for him desperately and he slid in next to her so he could keep holding her.
“I’m scared,” she whispered. She was indeed looking around the room frightfully. “It’s too much.”
“I know love,” he said calmly and smoothed her hair. “But you’ve done this before, you know what to do.”
She nodded and closed her eyes.
“Take your time,” he encouraged, “You’re safe here.”
He continued to hold her and smooth her hair down. Eventually, she stopped shaking, and her grip on his shirt loosened.
“Feeling better?” he murmured. She nodded, but made no effort to move off of him, which Draco was not going to complain about.
“Did I really just lose it in front of the Dark Lord?” she whispered.
“It’s not your fault,” Draco said immediately.
“Was he mad?”
“He was frustrated,” Draco said carefully, “But not with you, I don’t think. Just the situation.”
“I don’t know what happened,” She said, “One minute I was fine… and then I wasn’t.”
“You’re still new to all of this, it’s only been a few weeks,” Draco said, “You’re doing amazing. And if there’s a few mishaps along the way, that’s okay.”
“I need to be better,” she whispered.
“You don’t owe that to anyone,” Draco argued. “Especially not him.”
“He’ll kill me,” Amira pointed out.
“No, he won’t. You’re already far surpassing his expectations,” Draco told her. “You don’t have to go above and beyond for him.”
“I don’t want to,” Amira said, “I don’t want to give him anything. But he can tell when I’m not trying my hardest.”
“I know, I feel the same,” Draco admitted, “But… we’re stuck.”
“It’s not so bad… with you,” Amira whispered and then tensed.
Draco kissed her forehead, and she relaxed back onto him.
“It’s going to be awful when you leave,” she murmured. Draco nodded. He was going back to school in two days. He was beyond thrilled about it, or he would’ve been, except he was leaving Amira behind, here in this snake pit all by herself. Even his task with Dumbledore didn’t concern him as much as that.
“You’ll be alright,” Draco promised her, “We can write.”
“We can’t send owls,” Amira disagreed.
“We’ll figure something out,” Draco said, coming up with an idea in his mind. He kept quiet because he didn’t want to get her hopes up.
“How long is the term?” Amira asked.
“About four months,” Draco said quietly. She held him a little tighter. “I’ll miss you.”
He wanted to say so much more than that.
“I’ll miss you too,” she replied.
“We don’t have to think about it yet, we still have a few days,” Draco said. It wasn’t like him to try to escape reality like that, but he couldn’t bear the thought of leaving her.
“Will you stay tonight?” she asked. Draco felt shocked by her level of trust that she was showing him. It was one thing to fall asleep when they were both exhausted, but to reach out, hours ahead of time, was something different.
“Of course,” he said.
“It just feels so much safer with you here,” she explained.
“I’d be happy to,” he said. She snuggled in closer and the two just existed in their strange peace that they’d found.