All Will Be Well

Amira sat in the garden in the brisk dawn air. It was early, but she’d been unable to sleep. It was the day that she had been dreading for weeks. Draco was leaving today. And there was nothing she could do about it. The thought made her chest feel tight and her stomach felt like it was full of lead. 

The Dark Lord had been angry with her the day after her panic attack. It was the first time she’d been on the receiving end of his wrath. She hadn’t been punished, but she’d been fiercely warned. 

He wasn’t angry that she’d become overwhelmed, as he understood that that bit was out of her control. He was angry that she didn’t have any way to deal with it except to have Draco come and calm her down. 

Apparently, Bellatrix had tried, and it had only frightened her further. Amira needed to figure it out before the Dark Lord lost his patience. 

Amira looked up at the sound of footsteps and found Draco walking through the garden towards her. 

"I thought I might find you here," he said quietly with a smile. 

"I wasn't sure if you'd have time to see me before you left," Amira replied. 

"I wasn't going to leave without saying goodbye," he said, and sat next to her. "I have something for you."

He pulled a package out of his robes. Amira took it hesitantly. She'd never been given a gift before, and she hadn't been expecting one. She undid the wrapping carefully. 

There were two items in the box wrapped separately in tissue paper. She opened the bigger one first. It seemed to be a plain journal. She flipped through the blank pages. 

"I have one as well," he said, "When we write on it, the words will appear on the other's pages. Then, you can save them, or erase them."

Amira was speechless. One of her biggest fears was that she wouldn't be able to talk to Draco at all while he was gone. She had been preparing herself to be immensely lonely and friendless without the option of owls to communicate. Now, she had a way that she could stay in touch with him. 

"Thank you," she breathed, "You don't know how much this means to me."

"Well, it's for my benefit as well," he said with a blush, "I wanted to be able to talk to you."

She nodded. 

"Open the other one," he said eagerly. Amira unwrapped the smaller parcel. 

"Draco," she said in awe. It was a beautiful silver necklace with a deep blue crystal on the end of it. She could feel power in the crystal, and she moved her hand over it. It was familiar to her. "Draco, is this your magic?"

He nodded. "I thought, even though I won't be here, if you're having a hard time focussing, you could just hold onto that."

"That's brilliant," she said, "Thank you so much."

"Let me put it on you," he said. She nodded and handed it to him and then turned away. She grabbed her hair and moved it out of the way as he gently placed the jewelry on her neck. When it was clasped, she could feel Draco's magic sitting close to her heart. It felt warm, and it felt safe. 

She felt tears enter her eyes. They were tears of gratitude, and tears to convey that she couldn't believe that she had done anything to deserve a gift or a friend as nice as this. Draco scooted closer to her so that their legs were touching. He took her free hand, and turned her back towards him. 

"Don't cry," Draco said gently, "I didn't mean to make you sad." 

"I'm not sad," she sniffed, "I'm just so... I'm so thankful that I met you."

He didn't say anything, but leaned in slowly to give her a hug. They'd cuddled, and slept near each other, but they had never hugged for the sake of hugging. Amira slid her arms underneath his and tucked her face into his neck. They sat together for a long time. Before she was ready to part, Draco started to pull back just a bit. 

She looked up at him curiously. He looked into her eyes for a long moment, and the air felt charged. 

"May I kiss you?"

Amira's heart almost exploded as it flipped over itself. Draco wanted to kiss her. She had thought about kissing Draco, but she had thought he'd never be interested in more than that. Plus, she wasn't sure if she was ready. But he was leaving, and she wouldn't get to see him for four months. And she really, really wanted to. 

She nodded. He closed his eyes, and she did too. She waited, not breathing as she felt him lean in. 

Slowly, she felt his lips press ever so softly to hers. They were warm and so soft. He didn't press hard, as if he was giving her the chance to pull back. She wanted the opposite. She pushed forward just a bit to show that she wanted it. That she wanted him. Her heartbeat was racing and the rest of the world fell away. 

After a couple long moments, she pulled back. She looked down and felt an intense blush on her cheeks. She felt a gentle hand on her chin, and he tipped her face back up. 

"Ok?" he asked. 

She nodded, and tried to suppress her shy smile. She thought Draco saw it anyway with the smile he sent back at her. He leaned back in and gave her another soft kiss, and Amira swore she could feel her heart melting bit by bit. 

"I've wanted to do that for awhile," Draco whispered, leaning his forehead on hers. 

"Me too," she admitted. 

"Draco!" a voice called through the garden. The two of them jolted apart. 

"Mother?" Draco called back.

"You need to come inside and say your goodbyes," she said loudly, "We must leave soon."

"Coming," he answered. 

He turned back to her, and Amira stood with him. Her prior giddiness had washed away at the reminder of his coming absence. 

"It will be alright," he told her quietly, putting an arm around her waist and a hand on her cheek. She nodded, blinking away her tears. "I'll be back soon. And we can write."

"Okay," she whispered. 

"Be careful," he said, "Stay safe."

She nodded, "You too."

He leaned in and kissed her one more time, and then he was gone. Amira felt one tear fall down her cheek and hastily wiped it away. 

She grabbed the parcel with her journal and she ventured further into the garden to sit in her secret spot. There, she curled in a ball and held one hand on her new necklace and waited until it was time for her to go to breakfast. 

There was a noticeable absence with Draco gone. The room felt colder and sharper. Narcissa was gone too, having taken Draco to the train station. Amira felt like she'd lost some amount of protection and comfort. 

She looked around the room at her "peers". They were evil and vile men. They were cruel, dark, and ugly. She wasn't so full of fear anymore. Without Draco there, she realized how much she hated everyone there. Even Bellatrix. They had a weird friendship, but Amira hated how insane and sadistic she was. 

Over the few weeks that she'd been there, she'd learned more about their goals. Their goals included killing and enslaving all muggleborns, taking over the government and Hogwarts. From there, they wanted to branch out to all of magical Europe, and the world. Once the Dark Lord was successful there, he planned to enslave all of the muggles, and kill them as well so that wizards could take their 'rightful' place. Along the way, they'd also destroy any half-bloods, creatures, and magical beings. After using them to win of course. The Dark Lord promised his men human slaves, women, and children to do with as they pleased. It was disgusting. Amira had tried not to think about it until then because she couldn't do anything about it. She was stuck. It didn't matter if she disagreed. 

Now though, faced with the harsh reality of what her world there was without Draco, she started to feel a fire burn in her. She would not fight for them. She would not be a part of helping them destroy the world that she'd barely gotten to see. She had been treated like a squib her entire life, and she would not help to see anyone else go through the same thing. She needed to start thinking. She needed to get smart. 

Escape wasn't an option. Defecting wasn't an option. She needed to find a way to bring them down from the inside. She didn't care if that would bring her down too. Whatever it took. And she wasn't going to waste another moment. 

Draco sat back into his seat on the Hogwarts Express. It felt like it had been a lifetime since he had sat in this seat, but really, it had been just over two months. Draco was there early, before any of his friends had arrived. His mother had wanted it that way so that they could avoid the stares or any aurors that might have been sent to spy on them. The Dark Lord was slowly infiltrating the Ministry, which lessened the pressure on them, but they weren't in the clear yet. Draco knew from the nightly meetings that Dumbledore still had a stronghold on the government, especially the Minister and the Wizengamot, which was really all that mattered. 

"Hello Draco," the compartment door slid open and Theo took a seat across from him. Draco was happy to see him, but his friend's smirk reminded him of his flirtatious efforts towards Amira. Blaise was the real one that he had a problem with. Still, he knew he had to let it go because Amira would most likely never spend time with them. And... he couldn't forget the kisses they'd shared that morning. Theo and Blaise didn't have that. 

"Hello Theo," he said calmly. 

"No friend today?" he asked. 

"No, we told you she couldn't go to Hogwarts,"  Draco said. 

"I suppose," Theo said. 

Daphne joined them next, followed by Millie and Blaise. Crabbe and Goyle looked in on them before deciding to sit elsewhere. Draco made a mental note to go visit them so that he didn't alienate his closest and most loyal sidekicks. 

Pansy joined them last. 

"So how was everyone's summer?" Draco asked. 

"Not as interesting as yours," Millie complained, "It was boring."

"My mum was a bear after the OWL results came," Pansy complained. Pansy had never been the brightest witch. 

"Oh yes, how did everyone do on those?" Daphne asked. 

"I did well," Theo nodded. 

"I wish I'd done better on defense but I was satisfied everywhere else," Blaise added, "What about you Draco?"

"No owls remember?" Draco said sullenly. He had completely forgotten about OWLs. "I suppose I'll get them from Severus at some point."

"I would be dying of anticipation," Millie said dramatically. "I don't know how you can stand it."

"I've been busy," Draco said blandly. School didn't seem important at all anymore. 

"Tell us Draco," Pansy said, leaning in and placing her hand on his thigh. The memories of Amira doing the same made Draco feel wrong and dirty. He wasn't cheating. He wasn't even doing anything, but he didn't like it. It wasn't like he and Amira were dating, but he certainly didn't want to be touching anyone else. And the thought of her doing so made him sick. 

He casually shifted his leg away. 

"You know I can't." he said harshly. 

"No, not details," Blaise said slowly, "But you could give us a general vibe."

Draco thought about it. He wanted to warn his friends away. He wanted them to flee the country and run as far as they could so that they wouldn't be subjected to the experiences that haunted his dreams every night. He couldn't do that, so he settled for a middle ground. 

"It's... it's very busy, there's a lot of people and a lot going on," he said, eyeing their eager expressions, "It's also a lot more... more difficult than I had expected. And more dangerous."

"How exciting!" Millie squealed.

"But surely Draco, you didn't have to do anything," Daphne said, "You're only sixteen, and you're not a..."

She trailed off, seemingly smart enough to know that she couldn't say more. 

"No," he said, "But everyone in the Manor has to help. And I will eventually, so they got me involved."

"You are so lucky," Pansy purred in his ear. Draco cringed. As if he saw it, Blaise took his chance to speak. 

"I suppose that means that girl Amira was involved as well?" he asked. "You must have spent a lot of time together."

At Amira's mention, Pansy scowled and sat back, crossing her arms. 

"We did," Draco said quickly, "She's quite nice, and... she's a favorite."

He didn't elaborate, but he wanted to do anything to discourage Pansy. It wasn't nice. He wanted to say much more about Amira. He wanted to talk about how gorgeous she was, how smart, how powerful, and how unique she was. He wanted to tell his friends about how she made him feel and how she was the strongest person he'd ever met. Of course he couldn't, but he longed to tell someone about his feelings. He wanted to tell everyone, shout it from the rooftops, but it wasn't safe. 

"A favorite?" Theo mused, "Similar to your aunt then?" 

Draco thought about it, "A bit... but it's very different. She's... sane for one."

"Shame," Blaise said, "The insane ones are always so attractive."

"She was attractive already," Theo elbowed him, "You saw her."

Draco's face turned hot. 

"Yeah but it just gives a little edge, I like a little crazy," Blaise joked. 

"She's got to be a little crazy if she's a favorite," Daphne pointed out. 

"You're right," Blaise said, "So hot. I gotta get her to the -"

"Enough." Draco said. 

Theo and Blaise just laughed at him, and Draco realized once again he'd been goaded into reacting. 

"Do you like her Draco?" Daphne asked knowingly. 

"Of course he does," Blaise said, "Just look at him."

Pansy pouted and stood. She ran out of the compartment just as the train began to move. 

"Nice," Millie muttered to Draco, "Way to hurt her feelings."

"I didn't say anything," he defended. "And we aren't a couple. If I did like someone, which I don't, it's none of her business."

"She's in love with you, you know," Daphne said quietly. 

"She's in love with my last name," Draco argued. The group conceded his point. 

"When has that ever been a problem for you?" Blaise asked, "You're in love with your last name."

"Last names don't matter anymore," Draco said bluntly, "All that matters is what's coming."

The air of the compartment grew cold and quiet after that stark reminder. 

Eventually, Daphne and Millie went after Pansy to check on her and they didn't come back. Theo and Blaise started playing their card game. 

"Don't you have to be in the prefect carriage?" Theo asked after a while.

"I gave it up," Draco said, "I don't have time this year."

"Are you still going to do Quidditch?" Blaise asked. Draco shook his head. 

"What are you going to be so busy with?" Theo asked incredulously. 

"I can't say," Draco said. 

"You're only a school boy," Blaise said slowly. "You've got to focus on academics."

Draco snorted, "None of this is important. I wish I didn't come back this year."

"What do you mean?" Theo asked, "You love Hogwarts."

"I do," he said, "And I wish I cared about it still. But you don't understand, this isn't life. This is a fairytale. And there are other things I need to do. I highly doubt I'll be back next year."

"Show me your arm," Theo said suddenly. 

Draco simply stared at him, "No."

"If you had nothing to hide you would show me," Theo said. Draco stared at him. 

"Exactly."

"Oh." Blaise said, "When?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Draco said. He motioned for them to lean close and cast a privacy spell. "It's not what you think. It's not what we've been taught."

"What do you mean?" Blaise asked, looking extremely concerned. 

"I mean," Draco paused and checked the door again, "It's hard and I had a rude awakening this summer. And it's only going to get worse."

"Should we go to him?" Theo asked, "Do we need to prove ourselves?"

Draco shook his head, "Be thankful he doesn't want any of you yet." That statement was incredibly risky, but he saw understanding in each of their eyes. They knew something was different now, and they knew to be careful. 

The trio sat back against the seats. Eventually, Draco went to greet Crabbe and Goyle, and they grunted their hello. He sat with them the rest of the ride. 

When they got to Hogwarts, he went to his usual spot in the center of the Slytherin table. He didn’t look around this year, he didn’t care who was there. He tapped his foot during the sorting ceremony and avoided looking at both Severus and Dumbledore. 

The night couldn’t come soon enough. Every day was one day closer to being back to Amira. 

After the Welcome feast, Severus called him down to his office. 

“Hello Draco,” Severus said. 

“Hello,” Draco said stiffly. Severus raised an eyebrow. He slid an envelope across the table. 

“I have your test results,” he said, “You did very well.” 

Draco opened the letter and glanced over his scores. All O’s, except in DADA. It was fine. 

“Is that all?” he asked. He wanted to go before his godfather tried to act like… well like his godfather. Severus used to be almost a father figure to him, before the Dark Lord came back. Since then, things had been strange. 

“Yes,” Severus said and sat back. Draco stood to leave. “Draco… if you need anything this year, you know where to find me.”

Draco nodded and left hurriedly, black eyes drilling into him from behind. He hurried to his dormitory and stuffed the letter with his scores away in his trunk. He changed into his pajamas like his friends had. 

Draco crawled into his bed and shut the curtains. He set a light with his wand and opened the journal. 

Hello, he wrote. 

There was no response yet. He had charmed the journal to glow slightly when someone wrote, but not make noise in case they were carrying it somewhere. 

I just got settled in here after the feast. I wish you could see Hogwarts. It never fails to take my breath away, he wrote. 

My friends were asking about you. Blaise and Theo were trying to tease me I think. And I think they hurt Pansy's feelings in doing so. Honestly, they did me a favor because she's left me alone ever since, he continued. 

He grinned when her writing appeared. 

You caught me just before I went to bed, she said. 

We should set a time, Draco said. 

Ten?

Sure, Draco wrote. 

Hogwarts sounds great. I'd love to see it someday. And why were they teasing you? she wrote back. 

Because they think I like you, he wrote honestly,  They're not wrong

That explains why Pansy was upset,  Amira replied, Did you tell them you did?

No, I'm not sure if that would be safe for either of us,  Draco said. He didn't want to continue down that dark path of conversation. How was your day?

There was a long pause before any writing appeared. 

Long. He worked me really hard today. I think he was trying to overwhelm me, she responded.

Did he?

No. He was close, but your necklace really helped. And, I was really trying to concentrate because when I get overwhelmed in front of him it hurts so much worse 

Hurts?

His magic is cold, painfully so

Draco remembered her mentioning that before. She continued writing. 

It feels like I'm getting stabbed a thousand times when I get like that and he's there, she explained. 

That's awful, he said. 

It's okay, she said. You have classes tomorrow, you need sleep

You do as well, Draco said. 

Goodnight Draco, she wrote. 

Goodnight Amira