Regulus
Regulus honestly had no clue why he had thought that gift shopping with James Potter was in any way a good idea. Why he had allowed himself to be dragged along to Hogsmeade by the man, coerced by his low rumbling voice and earnest brown eyes as Potter promised to be on his best behavior, his waggling brows so obviously counteracting that as they left Regulus promises of more.
But whatever the reason, Regulus was stuck freezing his ass off and trudging through several feet of snow in the unforgiving Scottish winter despite it being bright and sunny just days ago… clinging to Potter’s arm for the slightest semblance of warmth as they sifted through shop after shop looking for a present for Lily and found absolutely nothing up to par.
Nothing that was good enough for his newly retained status as a maybe boyfriend and nothing that would make up for his coercion with the enemy to help him find it.
Frustrated, but determined to leave no stone unturned, Regulus yanked Potter into the next shop with a huff, cursing himself relentlessly for leaving it to the last minute, and cursing Potter for having offered him his coat like the true fucking gentlemen he had the audacity to be.
“Easy there, Reg,” James spoke with a low chuckle, “‘bout pulled my arm out,”
Regulus scoffed, forgoing a response and strode over to a section of the store dedicated to vintage magical relics, Potter trailing along and touching nearly everything as he did. Regulus swore, that man had no decorum.
After a while of quietly sifting through potential present options and shaking his head against nearly everything James suggested, Potter sighed and prompted, “do you think it’s possible that you’re being a tad too picky?”
“Not particularly,” Regulus snapped without looking up, though he did wonder if perhaps James’s remark held just the slightest kernel of truth to it.
“Alright,” Potter shrugged, not particularly fussed about having been so sharply dismissed. Then after a silence, “So, I heard Lily’s seeing someone,” James spoke as he fiddled with a glass trinket marked ‘fragile: do not touch’ in one of the shop's displays.
“Is she?” Regulus raised a brow nonchalantly, feigning unfamiliarity with the matter. He didn’t think it was any of James’s business if Lily was seeing anyone, or that she happened to be seeing Regulus. If the arse had more than a single working brain cell he could put two and two together, and if not… there was no harm playing along.
James shrugged in confirmation, “it’s what I heard,” he continued sifting through the store for potential gifts, “thought I’d tell you since you’ve got a vested interest in it—if she’s happy and all that,” he spoke casually as he rummaged through a few magically imbued orbs.
Regulus felt his cheeks heat tellingly but refused to display any other reaction, not to show just how much of a ‘vested interest’ he really had in Lily’s happiness.
“Huh,” he flatly acknowledged in hopes of avoiding any conversation regarding feelings from occurring. There was no way in hell he would be discussing his feelings with Potter of all people, especially not with how slippery a slope discussing his feelings for Lily could become. How it could turn into discussing his feelings for- no, Regulus scolded himself, he wouldn’t let himself go there. The only feelings he had towards Potter were those of loathing and disinterest.
Lost in thought, Regulus accidently banged his knee on one of the shop’s many tables. Merlin, he was making such a fool of himself. He prayed Potter was dense enough not to notice.
Luckily, James barely looked up as he was distracted by a display of shiny and expensive looking objects that Regulus himself was wise enough to know to avoid, lest he risk Lily’s wrath and lose his gift giving privileges.
Potter picked up one of the priciest necklaces before grinning at Regulus like an irritably fuckable madman and waving it in the air.
“How pissed do you think she’d be if we got her this?” James raised his brows mischievously, though he only seemed to be partially joking.
Regulus shook his head shortly, taking the object from James’s hands and promptly putting it back down. He regretted the action the second his fingers brushed across Potter’s palm, his skin soft and warm and sending sparks up his own freezing fingers that never seemed to entirely heat up no matter how close to the fire he held them.
It was electric and unasked for, how quickly James became that fire for him—one that may actually succeed in keeping him warm—with only the faintest of touches.
Unique, homey, and so blatantly irritating that he had foolishly allowed himself to feel it—whatever twisted kind of charm Potter had that eased all ailments and stuck to Regulus like glue, honeyed and welcoming. So effortless to James but Regulus was exerting every muscle in his body to free himself of it while his weary and aching bones so badly wanted to just give in. But that was a freefall he couldn’t afford. An unconscionable error, Regulus had to remind himself.
A shiver ran through his body as he forcibly pulled away. As he put considerable distance between himself, James and the split second of touching that had forced Regulus to reevaluate his most deeply concealed desires and shove them back into the abyss he had created for them once again.
Regulus cleared his throat rather harshly in hopes of regaining at least some composure. He was here for Lily, he had to remind himself, not to get caught yet again in another one of Potter’s snares, getting himself even more tied up in the idiot.
“You’d have to be suicidal, Potter,” Regulus belatedly deadpanned, but questioned himself when one of the sparkly jewelry pieces managed to catch his eye. Surely Lily would despise them for it but… he paused as he ran his fingers over a necklace with a beautifully crafted doe charm, thinking immediately of Lily’s patronus.
She had been one of the first to master the spell when they’d learned it in class, and had sacrificed countless hours of her free time to help Regulus with it, who had struggled immensely, no memory he used even remotely joyful enough to be able produce more than a small bluish glow from his wand. Until Lily had kissed him so proudly when he’d managed to create a medium sized orb of light and he’d finally been able to make one.
Regulus helpless until then, but Lily had been so determined and patient, never once doubting his ability despite sitting through hours of him failing spectacularly.
The best memory Regulus had been able to muster being one of Sirius and him playing hide and seek before Hogwarts, his brother laughing loudly with him in Grimmauld’s dim mahogany halls, but the memory had been twinged in sadness because their mother had come home right after and screamed at Sirius for breaking a vase. One that he hadn’t broken, Regulus had, but back then Sirius had always gone out of his way to protect him, and now Regulus was lucky if he got so much as a sad smile when they passed each other in the corridors.
But then Lily had kissed him and he’d felt as if he could eat the world whole. Swallow it in one joyful gulp because the girl he’d always held a torch for had shone her brilliant light upon him. He’d gotten the spell in an instant after that and his friend had thrown her arms around him so proudly Regulus was sure he had never felt happier in his life, more capable and accomplished as he’d wrapped himself soundly in Lily’s arms.
Felt her give him a light squeeze then kiss him on the forehead as she released him from her hold, having to stretch on her tip-toes to reach but losing her balance a bit on the way down. Unbothered by it, as Regulus leaned forward just quick enough to catch her, grins matching and unfathomably wide, even as Lily pecked him again in thanks. A quick thing that had lingered longingly on Regulus’s lips.
He remembered how Lily had held his face in her hands, emerald eyes gleaming with pride, and declared, “You’re wonderful, Reg. Not just at spells,” radiant as Regulus realized he was still holding her and dropped his arms when all he’d wanted was to tighten them, to hold her infinitely if he could.
And Lily would hate the necklace, he was sure she would, and she would hate the hefty price tag with seemingly ceaseless zeros even more, Regulus lost himself in his thoughts a bit, but she didn’t have to know about that bit, he justified, that was why price tags were removable. Though knowing Lily she would likely find out anyway, so he would have to get her something else to soften the blow. Or possibly dig himself an even deeper grave, but Regulus dismissed the thought when James interrupted,
“Reg? You alright?” The man’s brows knit together in what appeared to be concern.
As if Potter cared about if Regulus was alright or not. As if it wasn’t just Lily that Potter had a vested interest in…No, Regulus wasn’t anywhere near ready to confront that possibility. It was futile and unrealistic and he would have to be a fool to consider it, he reminded himself.
“Do you know who it is…that Lily’s seeing?” Regulus opted to ask instead, blinking a few times to force himself out of the contemplative daze he had fallen into.
“Sorry, love, can’t help you there. She’s keeping me in the dark about the whole thing,” James tutted and shook his head before adding, “‘cept that she won’t tell ‘em she isn’t sleeping,” he developed a rather prevalent crease in between his brows as a frown spread across his infuriatingly handsome face, “don’t know how they wouldn’t be able to tell, it’s obvious she’s running on fumes,” James’ voice seemed to take on a slightly irritated note, almost a protective one if Regulus was reading it right.
“You really think they don’t know?” Regulus felt himself feeling defensive all of the sudden, heat coursing through him at the mere suggestion and he had to take a moment to remind himself that he was playing a game. “I mean, if it’s so obvious,” Regulus reasoned, “They’d have to know,” he forced casualty into his tone.
“You’d think, but she’s still not sleeping,” James remarked with furrow in his brows that Regulus fought with all his might not to mirror. His efforts appeared to be fruitless however when Regulus felt a large, warm, and lightly calloused hand reach up to cup his face, James’s thumb stroking his cheek as if there was enough familiarity between them to warrant such a thing. As if they were lovers, or friends even, and Regulus couldn’t begin to contemplate the complications of such a gesture.
Of the sincerity in James’s eyes as he spoke, “it’s alright to be worried about her,” in hushed tones, running his free hand up the nape of Regulus’s neck and tangling it soundly in his curls. Much more well kept than Potter’s, Regulus thought ever so fleetingly, but that wasn’t what he should be thinking about right now.
James lowered his hand to brush over Regulus’s neck, touch just soft enough to tease. Like butterflies upon his skin that Regulus so desperately wanted to squash and so devoutly yearned for more of.
He wanted to snap at Potter, to tell him off ever so coldly and release himself from the blissful prison that was James’ touch, his breath dancing hotly over Regulus’s skin and sending a horribly predictable shiver up Regulus’s spine. Making him lean into Potter rather than pull away.
Making him breathe, “please, Jamie,” rather than come to his senses and keep his mouth shut. Rather than open it to harshly reject the man who was now kissing up his neck and wrapping a sturdy, muscular arm around his waist to support him while the other still tugged at Regulus’s hair.
“You’ve no idea how much I’ve been missin’ you, love,” James’s voice was deep and gravelly, low and deprived of something. Of him, Regulus figured as James went on murmuring something he’d heard before in Hindi. Kissing further up his neck, tongue laving over his jaw and nearing Regulus’s lips. Lips that couldn’t meet, that shouldn’t, no matter how much Regulus may want them to.
Lily, the thought raced through him like a bolt of lightning. Lily whom he hadn’t even kissed this way yet and now he was letting Potter-
“I- I can’t-” Regulus shoved James off of him with a stutter, lowering his head slightly to add, “it wouldn’t be fair,” speaking more to himself than to James.
James released him from his hold, slowly, as if to let Regulus get used to bearing his own weight, and a hot chord of guilt ran through him as Regulus realized just how kind Potter was after every rejection. How disgustingly respectful.
“Alright,” James shrugged easily as he ran a hand through his hair. Regulus wished he would stop doing that, mussing up his hair even further, teasing Regulus with the flexing of his muscular arms that were no longer on him. Holding him so securely Regulus almost felt safe. That would have felt safe if he’d lost even the slightest control over his facilities.
“So you wanna get that necklace you’ve been eyeing then?” James was quick to change the topic, putting a good foot or two between them that Regulus knew was for both of their sakes, “I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling relatively suicidal,”
A wave of relief washed over Regulus and he nodded, grateful to get away without any teasing, “We’ll have to get her a backup gift though. Otherwise she’ll kill us both in our sleep,”
. . .
Regulus was coming back to his dorm, gift in hand when he opened the door to see his bed adorned with a very familiar redhead that he may or may not be pathetically whipped for. Usually he would be glad to see her, but given his circumstances… well, he’d never complain about Lily gracing him with her presence, but her timing was a bit inconvenient.
“Lily,” Regulus tried his best not to appear ruffled as he nodded in her direction.
“Regulus,” his friend acknowledged slightly too calmly for comfort. She’d clearly been waiting for him, biding her time to scold him if Regulus was reading things right.
His theory was all but confirmed when Lily cocked her towards the parcel Regulus was holding, trying his best to hide it from her view and failing miserably, and asked, “What’s that?”
Regulus faltered for half a second, “um, gillyweed,” he managed, though even to his own ears Regulus sounded moderately unconvincing.
“What do you need gillyweed for?” Lily semi-pleasantly prodded, asking too many questions for Regulus to easily keep up with, glistening green eyes sheltering a knowledge of something Regulus highly doubted he would be made privy to.
“Research?” Regulus shook his head and abandoned the lie halfway through, taking care to stow the parcel safely away in one of his drawers before giving in, “it’s not gillyweed,”
“No?” Lily tilted her head at him as she feigned surprise, “what is it then?”
“It’s…” Regulus hesitated, “remember you gave me black card privileges,” He didn’t want to lie to Lily but he couldn’t go about spoiling her surprise either.
Lily narrowed her eyes at Regulus, “Vaguely,” she paused, “though I don’t remember extending those privileges to Potter,”
“Potter?” Regulus raised a brow, froze in his tracks as he realized he couldn’t lie to her, that he’d have to admit his coercion with James. Suddenly his blood ran slightly cold from the gravity of it. That meant he’d also have to admit his *fraternization* with James, and possibly even, occasional tolerance of him. Regulus wasn’t sure if he was quite up to that yet. But he couldn’t withhold the information either, that was just as bad as lying to her, and Lily was the one person he could never bring himself to lie to.
“You weren’t exactly subtle, Reg. I saw you two in the hall. Since when are you and Potter all buddy-buddy?” Lily leveled him casually.
“I-“ Regulus gaped at her rather stupidly as he recalled the incident shopping earlier that day, the many more that had gone even farther, and he knew that he couldn’t continue to withhold the truth from her. Not if he expected any chance of a future with the woman he had always quietly held a torch for. But a bout of nerves hit him before he could explain things with any elegance and he blurted, “since he started fucking me, I suppose,” only to curse himself for it and his complete and utter lack of decorum.
He stared helplessly at Lily as her beautiful features shifted, hardened, and contracted while she tried to process what he had just said. She deserved better than him, better than the bullshit he was putting her through, Regulus strode across the room to be within slapping distance in case the desire struck her, sitting next to her on the bed just far enough away to give her space while still close enough for her to easily inflict pain if she so chose.
“What? Are you- being serious? When did- Regulus what the-” Lily shifted away from him slightly before throwing her hands up with a huff, “I-” she crossed her arms and turned inwards as if contemplating something and chewed on her lip in the way Regulus knew meant she was deciding whether or not to hold her tongue.
Cautiously, Regulus scooted an inch or two closer to her. He wanted so badly to comfort her in her distress, to encourage Lily to speak her mind if she was considering it, even to wrap an arm around her if it would make her feel better, but seeing as she was furious at him Regulus doubted it would.
“Hate-fucking, I should clarify, but I don’t know if that makes it any better,” Regulus admitted perhaps a little too honestly, “I don’t do it anymore Lils. I wouldn’t do that to you,” he spoke more softly as he prayed internally that she could find some way to forgive him, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, there’s no excuse for it. I’m sorry for all of it, I- I was so ashamed, so in denial about the whole thing, and Lils, you have no idea how badly I wanted to talk to you about it but-”
Lily shook her head and shut him up with an arm wrapped around him and a kiss that confounded Regulus entirely. Her lips sharp then soft and so lovely against his before she pulled away with eyes filled with what looked to be relief.
Her fingers twirled tenderly in his hair, skimming over the back of his neck in a way that felt so unprompted and familiar, so fucking confusing because Regulus had all but cheated on her. Why wasn’t he being beaten away with a stick? He wondered, it was what he deserved.
“Reg, I um,” Lily smiled lightly to herself and shook her head again like she was considering revealing some sort of secret, “I’ve been tolerating-” she winced, “-Potter too lately. Even talking to him, and seeking him out. I know how terrible it is and how guilty you likely feel because I feel that way too,” she wrapped her other arm around him and pressed a kiss into his neck before stating, “so I forgive you, and I hope you can forgive me,”
Lily looked up at him with eyes bleeding with vulnerability, pleading where she had been furious only moments ago and Regulus used everything in him to cradle her face and kiss her with the same forgiving vigor she had granted him.
Pulling back only briefly to utter, “Of course I do mon fleur,” and watch the sparkle return to her ethereal emerald eyes, a smile spread across her face then pull her in to kiss her again. Softly and sweetly that time, with the leisure of a lover who had the security of knowing he was one, and not just a man who hoped to be considered.
His hands roamed her body with unexpected ease, helping Lily pull herself up to be seated on his lap, arms tightening around his shoulders as she moaned at the way he bit at her lip.
“I’d forgive you for anything, Lils,” Regulus breathed in the moment Lily took her lips away from him, pawing at his shirt and all but demanding it be taken off.
In a blur Regulus obeyed, the clothing being thrown away in a haste as his own hands wandered up the hem of Lily’s. A white and blue floral tank top that she’d worn under her at some point abandoned Hogwarts robes. Though Regulus didn’t particularly care about the intricacies of the school robes, not when his hands were roaming over soft flesh he had only dreamed of touching before. Dimples on her back just like his, and Regulus gasped at the revelation, kissed Lily more soundly as he couldn’t believe he had never noticed before.
He pulled away to kiss her neck and Lily was quick to hum in approval, raising her hips to unbutton her jeans then all but beg Regulus, “take them off of me?” Unsure of herself, he could tell by the wavering in her tone, but bold nonetheless and he was so proud of her for asking anyway. He wanted to tell her that, but didn’t know how, instead opting to nod and free her of the pants as she had wanted.
Lily granted him a kiss for doing so, brief but meaningful, and lingering as if she had wanted more but instead decided to cut herself off from it. Regulus couldn’t help but groan as he took in the sight of her, laying back on his bed in only her underwear and a camisole, one that was bunched up to reveal the majority of her stomach. The exquisite curve of her waist into her hips and absolutely gorgeous love handles. Those Regulus had noticed. Noticed perhaps too many times if he was honest.
But he had never seen this much of her, never looked on in awe as her breasts pushed out of her top and her back arched towards him.
“Stunning,” the words slipped out before he could stop them, voice low as he whispered, “Aphrodite would be envious, Lils,”
Lily giggled and pulled him back down to her to meet her lips, kissed him far too briefly before pushing her body against his to say, “only you would reference Greek Mythology while kissing me,”
Regulus smiled at that, hands taking hold of his friend’s smooth and heavenly thighs, squeezing her there and kissing her yet again, everything about Lily so inviting and natural to him that touching her was both sacred ground and as easy as breathing.
“Only you would inspire it,” Regulus managed to quip back, breaths bated as she ground her hips into his. Kissing her again was euphoric, passionate as years of discouraged wanting flew out of him as swiftly as a dam broken.
Lily let out sweet whimpers here and there, wanting sounds as she fiddled with his pants button then his zipper, on the precipice of everything changing when she paused to ask, “what is it you called me again?” Breathy and brilliant because Regulus knew that she just wanted to hear him say it, to explain it as if she hadn’t already understood.
“You’re playing with me, mon fleur,” Regulus leveled her with a stare that told Lily he knew exactly what she was up to, cradled her face in his hand and kissed her once on the forehead as he knew she liked. She would always lean forward into him when he gave her those, and he wasn’t surprised when she did so then, humming happily to say,
“And if I am?” Her voice serene but with a nervous undertone she likely didn’t want Regulus to detect.
He breathed out and re-buttoned his pants up, pulling Lilly against him and under the covers in hopes of putting her more at ease. He doubted he would, but he could at least try. James would know what to do, his brain prompted very much against his will.
“Then I’d tell you that mon fleur means my flower in French,” Regulus wrapped his arm around her and offered her what he hoped would be a reassuring squeeze to her hip, “it’s not very creative, but it felt like something nice to call you. Is it alright if I call you it?” Regulus waited apprehensively while Lily hummed in contemplation. He’d wanted to explain it to her outright, offer her the option of him not using it at all, a spur of the moment nickname that felt sweet like her, and something he wanted to handle more carefully than James had with him.
It was only seconds she made him wait, but it felt like years, years Regulus would relive regardless as Lily leaned in to kiss him again then smiled, happy and herself again when she answered,
“It’s more than alright, Reg. I think it’s sweet,”
Regulus scrunched his face up at that, holding her once again in his lap as he disputed, “it’s not sweet,” while Lily only laughed at his turmoil.
Hands in his hair as she hummed, “I think it’s adorable,”
Regulus huffed in displeasure, refusing to be seen as soft and mushy, but not exactly letting her off of him either.
“Romantic at the very least,” Lily teasingly kissed his nose. Regulus squeezed her tightly into him with a flat and surrendering hum, appeased enough to grouchily agree,
“Fine then, it’s romantic,”
. . .
It was rare that Regulus was in the library without Lily, rarer still that he arrived at such an early hour without the shield of his animagus to protect him, but what James had mentioned about Lily’s sleeping habits had perturbed him. Potter’s words had struck him deep, awoken a part of himself he had previously been pushing down, a protective worrying part that he didn’t particularly care for and had abandoned in favor of a more hands off approach.
Instead of walking Lily to her dorm each night or demanding she stay with him, sleep for Merlin’s sake because it was remarkably clear that she needed to, Regulus had forced himself to mind his own business. He’d waited as long as he could, all but shackling himself to his own bed at night until he physically couldn’t take it anymore. Because what right did he have to go about telling Lily how to live her life? Especially when he knew doing so would only procure the opposite of his intended results.
He knew Lily, which was why he didn’t push, didn’t so much as keep an eye on her after hours until he had driven himself mad with inaction. Even at his breaking point Regulus had forced himself to go in disguise, doing his best to discourage her late night activities, to only suggest that she go back to bed instead of forcing her to, and trying everything he could think of to make it her choice, not his.
Except something he hadn’t intended was for his actions to procure the opposite result, and something he hadn’t previously been aware of was Lily’s additional early mornings. James’s words now infuriated him to no end, shone an unfalteringly bright light on his own complacency in Lily’s exhaustion, allowed him no escape from the cruelty of his unsuccessful inaction. Left him with no other option but to address the matter himself, following Lily to the library with no disguise and no excuses.
Still scorned by the suggestion that he couldn’t have known about his best friend’s insomnia—worse that she would feel the need to keep it from him—then overtaken with a worry Regulus couldn’t possibly rationalize, he rather suddenly found himself all but hiding in between the shelves. Watching on as he saw an all too familiar form approach Lily’s table without its usual saunter.
James arrived there before him in a cruel twist of fate with his head bowed and bearing a humble smile. Something hot and unsettling ran through him as Regulus realized he had rarely seen the man so genuine. It almost looked as if Potter came without bearing an agenda. Though Regulus was sure that couldn’t be right. He thought it best if he stayed to step in if needed, just in case his hunch came to be true.
Close enough to be within earshot, Regulus felt something unidentifiable stir within him as he overheard Potter address her with a warm yet worried sort of familiarity. The man tutting to himself before he spoke,
“You know, I never thought I’d say this, but I’m disappointed to see you here, Evans,” James’ words laced with care as he set down a mug filled with something Regulus guessed was filled with either tea or coffee.
Presumptuous, he thought that Potter had assumed Lily would accept it, that Potter had assumed he knew her beverage preferences for the morning. Regulus knew that she liked either a London fog or an English breakfast tea to start her day, the English breakfast with a single slice of lemon. He also knew that she would drink coffee if offered but had never enjoyed the taste of it, just as he knew that Lily was kind enough to pretend she truly didn’t mind it regardless.
He had always brought her the correct drink in the mornings. Regulus felt a surge of competitiveness arise but felt remarkably frozen as he watched Lily accept the drink with ease. His friend didn’t so much as look up as she hummed in thanks then promptly took a sip of it. He noticed himself feeling victorious as Lily didn’t grant James the courtesy of a glance. Though he soon found himself ruffled as he observed her lips turning upwards in a lovely sort of smile. As she gestured for James to sit in the seat across from her whilst answering,
“Well I’m always disappointed to see you, if it helps,”
Her tone was nearly cordial, and Regulus surprised himself in finding that he wasn’t entirely bothered with her for it. It seemed James had wormed his way into Lily’s good graces and besides the small bit of jealousy that he was trying his best to keep in check, the only other thing Regulus could find himself to be bothered by was that Potter had beat him to the punch.
Still, it was as if his feet were stuck to the ground he was standing on as Regulus could only bring himself to watch on.
“Then at least one thing’s consistent,” James chuckled amiably, a fond smile overtaking his face, though his brows remained furrowed. It was obvious the asshole was concerned with something and Regulus didn’t have to guess to figure out what it was.
“I’ll tell you what’s not though,” James had the audacity to continue, hair a disgracefully attractive mess and eyes seeping with poorly masked concern, “-my sleep schedule. ‘M afraid you've got me stayin’ up all night worrying about you. It’s affecting my game, Evans. I can’t have that.”
Something shifted in Lily’s eyes, an almost imperceptible change from one annoyance to another that Regulus doubted Potter would be able to detect. She stayed quiet for a moment before responding, “you know I didn’t ask you to do that,” with a surprising lack of malice.
Her eyes met James’s as she gave him an unremarking raise of her brows. She was holding her tongue, Regulus realized, which only led him towards further questions. The whole exchange felt incomprehensible to him, like something otherworldly he had the ability to witness but not to understand.
“I know,” James smiled as he observed Lily sipping what Regulus hoped for her sake was the right kind of tea, “except you did ask me not to do something, and I’m not good at that. I can’t just watch you run yourself ragged, and if I can’t do anything about it…” James ran a hand through his hair and gritted his teeth slightly, “-well, I run myself ragged,” he paused yet again to purposely lean across the table and rest his weight on his forearms, the man now several aggravating inches closer to Lily.
Regulus wished he would give her some space, it was absolutely fucking whorish the way Potter was creeping in on her.
“I can’t not take care of people, Evans,” James sighed and gestured aimlessly with one hand, “there’s probably something wrong with me, but I just can’t.”
“Potter, that’s…” Lily seemed to be at a loss for words, eyes rich with emotion before she broke James’s gaze in favor of looking at what seemed to be anything but him, scanning the library until,
“Regulus!” Lily’s eyes widened in relief and she smiled broadly as she waved her friend over.
Regulus cursed under his breath, fumbling slightly as he realized the jig was up, that he had no choice but to follow. Regretting every one of his life’s decisions, Regulus strode over to their table and prayed he looked more confident than he felt.
“Lils, hi, um-” he tried to sound casual but upon failing miserably changed course, instead scolding, “why aren’t you sleeping in? It’s a Sunday. You need your rest,” his questions were quick, unfiltered, and brash compared with James’s effortless charm, competitive almost as Regulus couldn’t help feeling as if he’d butted in where he hadn’t belonged despite Lily’s relief to see him.
“Morgana, the both of you,” Lily sighed with a put out shake of her head before stating, “I could ask you the same question,” and raising her brows at him,
Regulus quickly found himself wanting for privacy as her words shook him enough out of his self induced stupor to huff,
“Potter, fuck off,” and pull up a chair. If he was going to answer Lily truthfully he didn’t need Potter of all people as an audience.
Rather annoyingly, however, the asshole only made himself more comfortable in his chair, stating, “I’d like to stay,” and winking at him because he couldn’t grant Regulus even the smallest of mercies.
A not entirely unpleasant sort of queasiness rose in him and it was all Regulus could do to stamp down the feeling and avoid James’s unseemly gaze. Giving in far too quickly as he scoffed, “Ugh, fine,” with a harsh glare in James’s direction before softening his gaze towards Lily.
“You know why I’m here, Lils,” he tried, but found that it didn’t sound quite like enough and he took her hand to emphasize, “I care about you,” Potter seeming to melt away in the moment as he watched Lily’s resolve crumble slightly. As he felt her squeeze his hand in her own and watched her gaze soften for him. The ease and comfort that had clearly left her flying back into her body and then it was the world that melted away too when she leaned towards him with a soft yet effervescent smile. So Lily in its nature, marvelous and poetic to him as words seemed too futile to possibly do it justice.
Her hand came to rest naturally on his shoulder and with one arm she pulled herself closer to him, lips nearing his and cheeks flushed as she began to utter, “Reg, I-” with a vulnerability that Regulus knew was mixed somehow with appreciation. That she wouldn’t say it, but every touch of hers meant ‘thank you’.
Lily placed a kiss between Regulus's brows and it was only then that Regulus realized quite how deeply they had been furrowed. He allowed her to relax them and likely would have taken things further if it hadn’t been for a loud throat clearing noise that interrupted their bliss.
He gritted his teeth at the nuisance as Potter inserted, “I also care about you,” waggling his brows surreptitiously at Lily. As if he expected a kiss. James grinned widely.
“Shut up, Potter,” Regulus and Lily both snapped at the same time.