Lily
At the first few rays of sunlight that made their way through her window Lily flung her covers off and was out the door in mere minutes. Lately Lily had made a habit of getting up particularly early with the only semi-convincing excuse of a stroll around the grounds for no other reason but to clear her mind.
Only because she liked getting up early anyway, and she could use the time to read or study or do something else productive. Even if technically the library didn’t open at the crack of dawn as she would have liked it to, though Lily did make a stop there every day just in case that changed. Just in case she needed an alibi for why she was out.
To convince herself that studying was all she was up to during her ridiculously early starts to her days. Studying and perhaps some low impact exercise in the form of exploring the grounds. Occasionally wandering by the quidditch pitch—which actually wasn’t too far from the library, making it all the more convenient for Lily to ‘accidentally’ pop by.
Always under the guise of being on her way to somewhere else, having gotten lost or being otherwise occupied while she was there, very aware that she could and would run into James Potter in all his tolerable glory.
Lily almost gagged at the reminder that she tolerated him now. Potter and his stupid soul piercing smiles and perpetually messy hair and compliments that Lily was starting to realize he might actually mean now.
Lily eyed the glistening bronze figure possibly drinking water several feet in front of her and made a point to take out the book that she had brought with her to read that morning and make it very visible to eliminate any possibility of Potter thinking she was there for him.
It was one that Regulus had left on her desk the night before, a fairly endearing habit he had gotten into since the two of them had become something more than friends. Every week he would buy her a new book on one of her interests and leave it for her in his signature pristine wrapping and dark green ribbons. And while Lily had scolded him a bit about it at first—swatted Regulus with one of the books he’d bought for her and let him know that not only was he being being overly extravagant but also very Potter-like with his reckless spending—she hadn’t been able to bring herself to put up much of a fight when Regulus blushed a bit and admitted that he saw it as part of his new “boyfriend duties” to provide her with adequate reading materials.
Though neither of them were sure that that was what they were—boyfriend and girlfriend—and when Lily had furrowed her brows at Regulus, cocked her head a little and questioned,
“Are you just saying that to get me to let you spend money on me, Reg?” Slightly unsure if he really meant it, the title and all, Regulus had frozen up completely and somewhat tensely uttered,
“I want whatever you want, Lils,” his words not exactly being reassuring.
But afraid of rejection and possibly losing her best friend in the process Lily had set aside that complicated conversation for later with a swift kiss to Regulus’s check the the simple assurance of, “I want you, Reg,” her voice soft and earnest as she swore she‘d seen the slightest hint of a smile tugging at the corner of Regulus’s lips.
Her friend took a quick glance around before letting it grow and issued her with a short but sweet kiss to her lips before pulling away with his forehead pressed lightly to hers, grateful, fond, and sincere as he said, “then let me buy you books, Lils. We’re a package deal,”
“Hm,” Lily had narrowed her eyes and hummed in false contemplation. Stayed silent for a moment while she ‘thought it over’ just to tease him. But then Regulus had pulled away only enough to make proper eye contact with her and cradled her face in his hands so delicately—as if she was the most important thing he had ever held and he wanted so badly not to break her—and Lily could feel herself giving in.
“Is that your line in the sand?” Lily couldn’t help but smile back, her hand moving up to play with the soft curls at the nape of Regulus’s neck, scratching a bit at his scalp as she ran her fingers through his hair, “you want black card privileges?”
Regulus closed his eyes and groaned a bit into her touch, leaned his head back slightly and lowly uttered, “please, Lils,” and fuck, that did something to her. Hearing her best friend practically moaning out her name, begging for relief, begging for her to let him buy her something… Lily couldn’t stop the gasp that fell from her lips.
She had known she had no fight left in her that instant she heard it and had agreed on the spot, offering an only semi reluctant, “fine, then,” that had Regulus opening his eyes with the grin of a man who never won finally getting his way. His eyes lighting up like the star Regulus was named after and Merlin, Regulus was handsome. How had Lily never realized he was so handsome?
He rivaled even Potter with his contrastingly soft and sharp features and satin-like fluffy black curls, slate gray eyes that were cold and indifferent to nearly everyone but her. Lily couldn’t help but feel like something vitally important as Regulus held her in his arms, victorious for once in his life and smiling brightly as he so rarely did when he’d promised, “I won’t abuse my privileges then,” careful and considerate after having gotten what he wanted because Regulus always was and it was one of the many things Lily liked so much about him.
And admittedly she had grown to like the books too, each one so unique and carefully tailored to her interests, each one Lily would finish in reading in just under a week. But it was less about the books themselves and more about the thought behind them, the warm fluttery feeling that enveloped her with the weekly reminders that Regulus cared. That he paid attention to all the little things that most people missed but Regulus always took note of and tucked away for later, and while Lily still didn’t love that he was spending such unnecessary amounts of money on her she found that she could compromise for Regulus’s sake.
For the tiny quirk of her best friend’s lips when he caught her bringing his newest purchase with her to breakfast the morning after she’d received it, already several chapters in, Regulus raising a brow subtly at her and receiving a half hearted glare in return.
Subtly slipped in questions in between studies at the library as Regulus tried to gauge how much Lily liked the book he had gotten her, only partially tucked away smiles when he’d manage to get Lily on a roll going on about the themes or the characters she liked best. Regulus nearly grinning when she finished her books early or gushed to him about her favorite chapters.
One time going as far as drawing her closer to him and planting a kiss on her forehead in front of people before humming, “I knew you’d like that one, Lils,”
Making butterflies swirl all kinds of ways in her stomach with his hands gripping so securely around her waist, the confident rumble of his voice near her ear, and when had Regulus started giving her butterflies? Making Lily fluttery and hot in her cheeks when she used to never feel nervous around him—only comfortable and at ease? What was that about?
When had she started gravitating towards Regulus because she liked the way his fingers felt smoothing over her skin and not simply because she enjoyed his intellect?
Her friend’s almost whiny protests as he pulled Lily back into him to snuggle for longer in the mornings after she spent the night in his dorm. Never quite more than that yet, kissing, talking, and falling asleep in each other's arms. Glancing at the clock to realize that somehow it had gotten rather late and Lily would really be better off sleeping over.
The two of them were playing chess late into the evening one night when Lily had gotten Regulus to admit that he didn’t like the idea of her roaming the halls alone after dark. Grumbled it out rather reluctantly then insisted she go to bed because she was asking too many questions and, “you don’t sleep enough anyway,” her friend adorably put out as he reminded Lily all of the sudden of the cat she would at times encounter on her late night walks.
Nudging her to bed like the bossy little furball she had grown so fond of would.
Endearingly irritable as Regulus took one look at her attire and declared, “you can’t sleep in that,” turned his back to her and rummaged through his drawers as he attempted to hide his slightly reddened cheeks from her view. Came back with a softly put out huff as he handed Lily two neatly folded garments in dark green and black.
A familiar looking Slytherin t-shirt and a dark pair of sweatpants that looked to have never been worn before—both incredibly soft to the touch that Regulus put firmly in her hands before he scowled slightly to himself and told her she could use his bathroom to change.
Earned himself a ruffling of his hair from Lily that she could have sworn he heard him purr at. A poorly suppressed sound that had Lily smiling to herself as she made a note to herself to run her fingers through Regulus’s hair more often, to scratch at the back of his neck and leisurely play with his curls to see if the sound came out again. And really his hair was so soft and inviting anyway… begging to be tugged on and tenderly combed through… Lily couldn’t help thinking to herself as she slipped on what was clearly one of Regulus’s shirts before changing into the pair of pants that she realized were in her size.
Women’s sweatpants from a muggle brand of clothing that Lily wore quite frequently and it didn’t take long for her to realize that Regulus had actually gone out of his way to buy her clothing. To pick out sleep pants for her that he couldn’t have been sure she would even have the opportunity to wear and keep them for her just in case. That he could have picked her out a shirt too, but no, he wanted her in his.
Lily felt herself warm significantly at the tiny yet significant acts of service that she knew her friend would never verbally acknowledge but was regardless still so diligent in performing. The constant considerations for her comfort and overall well-being Regulus may have hoped would go unnoticed fell rather wonderfully into place for her as she tied the pants around her waist and found that they fit perfectly. A funny juxtaposition to the shirt Regulus had given her, oversized on Lily and monogrammed at the bottom of the hemline, Lily noticed.
She quietly emerged from the bathroom to find Regulus frowning to himself and fluffing his pillows, now in a black matching pajama set himself. Practically mother henning like the protective little fur-ball that so grouchily curled up into her lap and prodded at the back of her heels to shove her back to bed faster.
Lily smiled to herself yet again as she remembered the practical purring earlier. The black cat would always get all grouchy after it had gotten just a little bit too cuddly with her as well… she contemplated as she watched Regulus pull out several extra blankets from underneath his bed and place them atop it. Watched him shake his head and put them back under only to go back on his decision and lay them back over his comforter again, a few of his curls falling over his face as he leaned over in the lower lighting.
Regulus’s blush had seemed to go down and Lily chose that moment to make her presence more apparent, clearing her throat lightly and taking a few steps towards her friend.
“Lily-” Regulus startled almost indistinguishably, suddenly dropping the blankets he had been fiddling with in what he turned into a smoother movement, his gaze halting the moment it landed on her to look Lily over, “I was just-” Regulus’s jaw dropped slightly as he didn’t seem to know entirely where he was going with the rest of his sentence.
Not entirely sure what possessed her to do so, Lily strode over to wrap her arms loosely over Regulus’s somewhat tense shoulders and pecked his cheek, scratched at the back of his neck and twirled her finger around an errant curl there before stating, “I want the blankets,” deciding for him because poor Reg had been fretting so much over them.
“Um- okay-” Regulus spoke softly as he furrowed his brows together, breathily and slightly distant as he closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. Wrapped his arms around Lily’s waist and nudged his head forwards like he was searching for more of it.
His head pushed into her shoulder with a groan when she used her nails to rake up Regulus’s hairline and scratch behind his ear, her friend releasing a gasp of, “Lils…” nuzzling into her neck at the feeling—the blankets now long forgotten.
Lily hummed in acknowledgement and continued giving him head scratches, tugging Regulus with her to land comfortably on his bed. Regulus immediately moved to cover her up with his comforter then leaned back into her with a short little huff. Lily took it as a sign to resume running her hands through his hair and re tangled her fingers in it.
She tugged somewhat aimlessly at the strands for a while, hearing her friend let out soft, contented hums alongside occasional whimpers or semi-stifled moans and feeling Regulus relax into her as he did before she felt him lay a kiss or two in the crook of her neck then stubbornly shake her hand off. Pulling her into his chest with somewhat of a jostle as he re-arranged his hair to be in the neat order he kept it in before apologizing for it with a light, “sorry, Lils,” as Lily re-adjusted herself against him.
It wasn’t until much later, when Regulus might have thought Lily to already be asleep, that he uttered, “you look good in my clothes, Lils,” whispered so softly that it could have been swept away by a low gust of wind, but audible nonetheless. And maybe she had imagined the hushed words Regulus had let loose into the night, or the careful rustling of blankets around her right before she’d fallen asleep, her friend wrapping them around her more securely like a fussy mother hen. Perhaps she’d even imagined the short little kiss she’d felt placed on the top of her head as she was dozing off, but there was no mistaking that the feelings she had for Regulus had morphed into something fond and unfamiliar, and she feared that defining them would mean destroying whatever precarious balance her relationship with her best friend was in altogether.
. . .
Lily shook her head to remove herself from her thoughts as she strolled over towards the messy haired idiot she went out of her way to ignore by burying her head in her book almost to the point of not being able to see where she was going.
This was a terrible idea, Lily thought to herself, she shouldn’t be fraternizing with Potter. She hated Potter. Even if he was kind and attractive, it was probably all a ruse and-,
She had already sealed her fate, it seemed as James spotted her from a few feet away and donned an almost alarmingly bright grin, waving at her excitedly and shouting, “Oi! Evans!” To grab her attention as if she hadn’t already seen him. Though she supposed she was doing a fairly good job of pretending to ignore him so she could throw him a bone there.
“Potter,” she glanced up from her book flatly, not willing to risk letting Potter know that she perhaps wasn’t entirely inconvenienced.
“Here for another broom ride?” James grinned far too charmingly. It was indecent really, Lily couldn’t help thinking, shameless how he insisted on being warm and welcoming on every goddamn occasion. How he could never just be an asshole to give her some relief, some reason to loathe him like she wished she still did. If Regulus was there Lilly was sure he would agree with her. Although if Regulus was there she would have to admit that she didn’t entirely loath Potter anymore, and Lily wasn’t quite ready to do that yet.
“Here due to insomnia,” Lily quipped back, trying her absolute best to remain at least outwardly unaffected as James stepped several feet closer to her, twirled his broom around in his hand and shot her another one of his irritably dazzling smiles. His brows furrowed in genuine concern as he approached her to ask,
“You’re having trouble sleeping?” The man asked as if he cared that she was. Lily bit her tongue rather harshly when she realized it was quite possible that he really did. Then immediately regretted having given him such information when Potter went on rambling, “have you tried taking a drought for it? I can get you a load of my Pa’s dreamless sleeps if it would help. Free of charge, ‘less you count talking to me a few more times ‘charge’— which you probably will-”
“Potter,” Lily waved her hand to cut him off, “I don’t want your dreamless sleep potions, and if I did I’d pay for them. I can handle it on my own and I don’t need you fussing over me,” she dismissed James’s offer despite the potions being exactly what she needed to sleep more than an hour or two uninterrupted. And better yet, free of the taunting image of Potter’s dick that was still cruelly carved into her subconscious… But if Lily wanted to be rid of that she could do so without accepting help from Potter, of all people, who she knew would milk those extra interactions for all they were worth and in the end only make her problems worse. Lily huffed at the thought.
Then, rather annoyingly, James questioned, “What if I want to fuss over you?” Shifted his weight from one foot to the other as he stood more fully off of his broom and had to re-adjust his glasses when they slipped down his nose a bit from the movement. Lily’s fingers twitched uncomfortably when she found herself with the unreasonable urge to push them up for him. Merlin, she scolded herself, she should not be getting the urge to touch Potter.
Even if he was warm and sunny like a summer afternoon and mind bogglingly attractive like all of her most deeply repressed fantasies, and now he was saying he wanted to fuss over her…
“I already have someone for that,” Lily insisted before she could fall any more deeply into whatever senseless spiral she had been getting lost in, forcing herself to break eye contact when she realized she was getting lost in the chocolatey brown of James’s warm gaze as well. Was there an off button for this dunce? She found herself wondering, anything to stop her from sticking to his honey sweet words and just staying there?
James only queried a brow, hummed, “Yeah? Does that someone know you haven’t been sleeping?”
Unfortunately lacking a response to this, Lily could only glare at him as she felt herself taken aback by the accuracy of what Potter had said to her. But Regulus already had so much he had to be worried about, she didn’t need to add her not sleeping to that… James cocked his head awaiting an answer and Lily had to tamp down those horrid stomach butterflies she had been getting more often around him quite forcefully.
After a while with a lack of a response Potter took her silence for confirmation, “Hm, thought not. So maybe you do need me fussing over you Evans. Maybe if you gave me the chance you’d see that I’m pretty good at it,” he offered her a slightly lopsided smile that reminded Lily of a dog patiently waiting for approval, his big brown eyes luring her in again and forcing her to shut down a whole new wave of the warm and fuzzies that she shouldn’t even be feeling because she was kind of with Regulus and she hated James. Or maybe she sort of tolerated him, but she definitely didn’t like him.
“At what?” Lily took a lengthy step backwards when she realized how close their bodies had gotten to one another, “Clucking about like an obnoxious mother hen?” Lily steeled herself against Potter’s charms the best she could in anticipation of his answer, though when James reached forward to touch her arm because she hadn’t stepped far enough away, damnit, Lily’s unwittingly started to falter.
“At taking care of people,” James specified, “Been doin’ it all my life,” he sent her a warm and grounding smile as Lily tried not to let herself lean any further into the reassuring weight of his touch, “I could do it for you if you’d let me,” James seemed to notice her reaction to him—the ease with which Lily was falling into his hold—and smiled to himself briefly before letting his hand fall away.
“I- I told you I already have someone for that,” Lily almost felt flustered as she wondered why James hadn’t smiled smugly instead of gently as he had. Why he hadn’t boasted about his victory of her showing the slightest sign of interest in him, of comfort in his strong hand upon her. Had he hit his head particularly hard before she’d arrived? Hard enough to give him a semblance of decency? Or maybe he had been this decent all along, Lily shook herself out of her thoughts before she could go any further with that.
“Someone you don’t want to worry about any of your problems,” James rather aggravatingly surmised, his voice smooth and free of any sort of judgment or jesting. Gentle and understanding as he offered, “You could worry me, I could nag you to rest and let you nap on me when you get tired and smuggle sleep potions into your dinner for when you don’t listen to me ‘cuz you’re really fuckin’ stubborn and you’d stay up all night just to spite me,”
“And what makes you think I’d want that?”
James shrugged, smiled like the most welcoming sort of fireplace painstakingly setting her alight and said, “delusion? You know I’ve already got a vision board for our wedding,” he smirked more playfully, “have the flowers picked out and everything,” James’s eyes seemed to sparkle in the morning’s first glimpse of sunlight and Lily genuinely couldn’t tell if he was joking or not, then got the gut wrenching feeling that there was a possibility he wasn’t.
That James was being dead serious and she was really talking to a man who had planned out the specifics of their imaginary potential wedding. No, Lilly shook her head, that was unfathomable. Potter had to be joking. Teasing her like he always did in hopes of garnering a reaction. Because what the hell was she supposed to do if he meant it?
. . .
Later that day Lily was walking to class with Mary and Remus in blissful Potter-free peace—a much needed respite from her otherwise unfortunately Potter filled day when another matter she had been trying her best to ignore was brought to her attention. Her birthday. A day filled with an onslaught of presents she didn’t want and an unjustified amount of attention that she really could do without.
It was then that Remus made a slight gasping sound as if he’d forgotten something then rummaged around in his bag a bit before bringing out a humbly wrapped parcel and offering it to Lily.
“My mum would kill me if I forgot…” Remus shook his head to himself as Lily took the package in her hand and queried a brow at him. Remus knew not to buy her things, so what was this about? She flatly waited for an explanation.
But Remus was one step ahead of her and simply waved his hand at her and rolled his eyes. “They’re an early birthday present from my mum, Lils. Just open it,”
Lily begrudgingly pulled off the brown paper packaging and dainty white ribbon to reveal a freshly made batch of her favorite cookies with a handwritten note from Hope placed on top of them. Lily found herself at somewhat of a loss for words as she attempted to balance her grave disdain for people doting on her with the deep appreciation of Hope’s gesture and irritation of the woman catching her on a technicality.
Remus must have picked up on the frustration Lily was working through as he had the good sense to display at least some fear in his eyes while he chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. Mary, on the other hand, caught sight of the cookies and immediately went to snatch one, the girl taking a large bite of one and all but groaning,
“Mmm, they’re good,” while Lily continued to work out her perplexion and glare at Remus.
“You know I-” Lily started with no real end to her sentence in mind but irritated that her friend had acted as an accomplice to his mother’s admittedly quite thoughtful crimes. She huffed and handed Mary the box, who took it happily and dove in for another one.
“I know my mum would’ve been scarier than you if I hadn’t given ‘em to you,” Remus casually interrupted, “Sorry, Lils, but she would’a lectured me ‘till my ears fell off if I hadn’t,” Remus clearly showed no remorse for his actions.
“Fine,” Lily narrowed her eyes at him, unappreciative, “tell Hope I said thank you,” she crossed her arms and grumbled. Reluctantly, she took a cookie out for herself before Mary went and ate them all.
Just as they turned a corner Lily spotted a fluffy head of dark curls she had found herself remarkably fond of conversing somewhat amiability with another figure that she didn't particularly feel inclined to address her feelings towards. The two exchanged a combination of pleasant and exasperated hand gestures as they looked to be almost mutually enjoying each other's presence. Suspiciously nonchalant as James leaned forwards towards her friend somewhat tauntingly and Regulus only tutted at him and continued speaking as if the incident hadn’t occurred.
Casual, and alarmingly neutral to Potter’s mannerisms seeing as Regulus absolutely despised James. Loathed Potter far more than even Lily could and made a point to insult him or scoff disapprovingly anytime Potter was brought up in conversation.
But what if… Lily couldn’t help but gawk at the freakish exchange, what if Regulus didn’t hate Potter that much either?