Remus Lupin and intrusion
Remus
Remus had to admit his anger had sizzled down quite a bit. He could feel himself shifting between Sirius’ memories again.
He hadn’t meant to see all of that.
It’s just that he’d wanted to get back at Sirius so bad that he’d forgotten himself.
He was Remus Lupin; a sixteen-year-old Gryffindor in his fifth year at Hogwarts. He was a marauder, he loved his friends more than anything- even when they pissed him off. He liked Sirius Black a whole lot more than he should.
Remus knew that his anger and Sirius would die down- eventually. And he was okay with that.
Knowing he could come to terms with his anger soothed Remus beyond words. He was ready to see the next memories and he was ready to be around Sirius again- not forgive him,
but be there for him.
The settings shifted until Remus’ view became clear. There were shops and people everywhere, Remus knew exactly where they were.
Diagon alley!
He immediately found the Black family. They stood out quite a bit, those rich prats. Remus recognized this Sirius from the first time they’d met.
Those childish waves and rosy cheeks subjected Remus to a certain nostalgia- to times before talks of war and endless bloodshed. When he could talk to Sirius without getting red in the face. He knew Sirius from first year.
Walburga stood next to her husband with an unfriendly look.
Okay- nothing out of the ordinary.
Sirius was dressed in all-black robes done nicer than Remus had ever seen. His Sirius rarely wore his tie so tidy or his robes unwrinkled.
Remus noticed Regulus staring at something. The back of a boy’s head-ashy curls, deep brown skin, and black robes similar to his brothers.
From the back, he almost looked like-
“Regulus, it is unbecoming to stare!” Orion’s gruff voice sounded. Regulus gulped and nodded, quick to take his eyes off of the boy.
Sirius grabbed his hand and smiled before whispering,
“Where you looking at that boy, too? Maybe I’ll see him on the train!”
Regulus half smiled, cheeks turning red as though he’d been caught committing a crime. Sirius pulled him along as their parents started sauntering down the alley.
Remus noticed a difference in the way that the Black brothers carried themselves that he supposed he’d overlooked before.
Regulus, who was very shy, moved very carefully- as though if he stepped too hard or too soft he’d keel over and die. Sirius was the complete opposite. He practically threw himself forward when he got excited- which was pretty much all the time. Even when walking casually, Sirius Black had undeniable pep.
Maybe that’s why he and James had gotten so close. They were simply overexcitable puppies.
Sirius trotted along using his brother’s arm as a leash, occasionally stopping to gaze at miscellaneous things- not without scolding from Orion.
Remus found it sorta sweet seeing Sirius so happy, especially after witnessing those devastating fragments of his best friend’s childhood.
Eventually, they made it to Platform 9 3/4. Remus noticed other families staring at the Blacks, some kids whispered to one another and others glared.
Must suck growing up tied to a name like his.
Sirius didn’t let them get him down. He kept up a bright smile and even waved at a boy who’d been glowering his way.
“You know the rules, Sirius. No-“
“No talking with students outside Slytherin, no going near Muggleborns, no falling behind in classes, and absolutely no detentions. I’ve got it, Father.” Sirius cut Orion, who was less than pleased, off.
He nodded solemnly at his son, not offering any goodbyes or words of encouragement.
It was Walburga’s turn to speak next.
“You will not talk to any Mudbloods, boy. If I hear that you even breathe too close to lesser blood, there will be consequences.”
Walburga’s voice was as unloving as ever. Remus had been naive enough to believe that they’d at least offer him a proper goodbye.
Once his parents stepped away, Regulus turned to Sirius.
“Please don’t get into any trouble.” He spoke quietly, looking at his feet.
Sirius pulled his brother into a hug.
“No promises, Reg.”
Regulus smiled sadly when they broke apart.
“I’ll miss you, Kreacher’s my only companion now and he’s no fun.”
Is Regulus Black making a joke? Unheard of!
“I’ll write- promise!” Sirius grinned, eyes creasing ever so slightly. Regulus nodded in return before whispering,
“Je t'aime.”
“Je t'aime aussi, Reggie,”
The train’s warning whistle blew and with that, the Black brothers were separated.
Sirius hurried onto the train. He wasn’t late or anything- Blacks were never late, but most of the compartments had already been filled.
Sirius kept walking in search of a compartment when a mess of dark curls slammed into him.
“Ah Bhosdike! I mean- Sorry mate!”
Sirius, who’d fallen on his ass, smiled at the boy and took the hand he’d offered. A pair of circular glasses and warm brown eyes met pale skin and stormy grey ones. Remus thinks that was the moment two black holes formed to become supermassive.
The day James Potter and Sirius Black met.
“No worries! Was that Hindi?”
“Yeah, you speak any?”
“Nah, just looked up a few swears to call my mother behind her back.”
“Ha! You’ve gotta come sit with me and my friend Peter- I’m James, by the way, James Potter.”
Sirius beamed at him and nodded. He introduced himself, making James gasp.
“You’re a Black! My mum says the Blacks are like royalty.”
Sirius’ face twitches, Remus can only imagine how it must feel to know the truth behind his seemingly perfect family.
James must’ve caught on to Sirius’ uncomfortableness as he shifted the subject,
“D’you like quidditch? ‘Cuz I love it- I’m gonna be Chaser for the Chudley Cannons someday!”
Sirius, grateful for the opportunity to talk about anything but his family replied,
“I like flying alright, but I’m pretty awful at following rules.”
Whenever James laughs, he snorts, and since Sirius hadn’t been acclimated to his friend’s infectious laughter yet- he joined him. They pretty much laughed the entire way to the cart.
When they opened the glass doors, Remus spotted himself and shivered.
He took back everything he’d ever said about Regulus being weird-looking because the kid sitting nearly three feet from Sirius was an alien.
Creepy scars, messy curls, an overly skinny build, and the fact that he was a foot taller than any other first-year didn’t help.
Remus watched himself stare at Sirius. Young Remus was slightly obsessed with Sirius- though he’d never admit it. He found Sirius interesting; delicate as a butterfly at first glance but as fierce and untamed as a wild dog.
Remus had tried to convince himself that he hated Sirius for the first
few weeks. But when he’d been approached about it by Sirius and his fiery eyes, Remus gave up.
“Hey lads, this is Sirius! Picked him up on the way back from the loo.” James introduced Sirius to the boys.
Remus gets secondhand embarrassment from what he says next. To this day thinking about how utterly nerdy he sounded haunts him.
“Like the star?” Little Remus’ voice sounds too high for his height.
Sirius turns to look at him and nods slowly,
“Yeah, not many people know that- I’m impressed.” Sirius smiled big and wide, eyes creasing and nose scrunching.
Remus watches his counterpart’s face heat up and tries to remember what might’ve been going through his head right then and there.
“You’re named after a star? I thought it was after the word serious!” James exclaimed, taking a seat next to Peter.
Sirius laughed before motioning for Remus to scoot down.
“The brightest star in the galaxy!” He gloated before smart-ass little Remus swooped in and ruined it.
“It’s the dog constellation.”
Peter and James started giggling and Sirius’ face went a bit red. Remus remembered feeling awkward and a bit embarrassed after that.
“Hey Sirius, are you Italian or something?” Peter had asked. Remus had to admit he’d wondered the same. Before Hogwarts, Sirius’ accent had been very obvious. Not speaking French for a whole year subdued it- mostly. Sometimes there were words he couldn’t pronounce or had a heavy accent.
Remus thought it was the cutest thing.
“I’m French. Well, my family is French but I grew up speaking it, it’s my first language.”
“Say something!” Peter demanded.
Sirius smiled at the attention.
“Si vous traduisez ceci, bonjour!”
Nobody had known what he’d said, but it was cool to hear. James huffed in annoyance,
“I’m bilingual too, you know! Pete’s never been so awed by my Hindi.”
All three boys laughed at his dramatics and time sped up again.
Remus didn’t like seeing happy Sirius go. He knew whatever came next would be less wholesome.
That was how this fucked up memory game was.
.
.
“Sirius Black!”
The wheezy voice of Albus Dumbledore boomed.
The sorting!
Of course this would be a bad memory for Sirius, it sort of ruined his life completely. Maybe not completely but it definitely didn’t contribute to making things better with his family.
Sirius, confident as ever, stalked up the stairs and sat on the stool. Remus wondered what was going through his head. Maybe something like ‘Yeah I’ll definitely be Slytherin, I hope that funny-looking boy Remus gets sorted with me’!
Remus shut his thoughts down, embarrassed of his own brain. He couldn’t defend himself from that one.
The hat started speaking as soon as it was placed on Sirius’ head.
Why can I hear it? I’ve never been able to hear the hat before.
He then remembered that this wasn’t his memory, so he obviously heard what Sirius had at that moment. He scolded himself for having to think so literally all the time.
“Let’s see, another Black! But this one isn’t like the rest, is he? No, no definitely not. A very clever boy, indeed. Endless loyalty to his friends. Perhaps Hufflepuff?”
Remus saw Sirius tense and could imagine him begging not to be put there.
“Not Hufflepuff, eh? I do sense something else in him, a certain bravery. Well, if not Hufflepuff it’ll have to be,”
The hat paused and Sirius tensed further.
“Gryffindor!”
Sirius went pale as the table cheered. He looked to the Slytherins who stared wide-eyed with shock. Bellatrix and Narcissa looked pissed; Remus was inwardly horrified even though he knew it was coming.
Whatever repercussions Sirius would receive from his mother would be devastating.
Remus wished this nightmare would end.
.
.
Remus shifted to the next memory, which wasn’t far off because Sirius looked the same as moments before.
The four boys were on the train, Sirius and James across from Peter and Remus. Remus watched himself watch Sirius, who was acting fidgety.
“Why’re you acting like a tweaker, Sirius?” Peter joked while Sirius’ leg bobbed up and down. James laughed, but Sirius’ face fell at the jest.
"I’m really excited to see my brother, I’ve missed him.” Was all they got in response. Remus remembered feeling wary of the lie- see, the thing about werewolves was that their sense of smell was heightened. So much so that Remus often found himself smelling people’s feelings. Usually, it was lust or anger or joy, but hints of deceitfulness could be found.
The other two didn’t notice and ragged on him for being soft.
“I wish I was close with my older sister, but she’s so annoying!” Peter whined, he often complained about his sister, Phillis Pettigrew, he said she was evil incarnate.
Remus didn’t have siblings, so he couldn’t comment. He’d lived with his Mam and dad, but he didn’t speak to them much. The Lupins were a quiet family made up of quieter people; it was their dynamic. Remus spent his days reading and writing up in his room while Hope practiced baking pastries or doing puzzles. Lyall worked long hours then came home and slept, spending his free time with Hope.
Remus had never realized how unhappy he’d been until Hogwarts opened his eyes. Maybe his father’s overprotectiveness shielding him from having absolutely zero social life had caught up to him because Remus dreaded going home every summer.
He wasn’t really living- not without Sirius, James, and Peter. Those boys weren’t just his best friends, they were his life.
Seeing them on the train gave Remus a feeling of dread he couldn’t shake. They must’ve been going home, that explained Sirius’ bouncy leg and sour attitude.
He was scared.
“You gonna miss us, Remus?” James asked with a cheeky smile. Remus watched himself roll his eyes and make some snarky comments about how he’d sooner miss Filch.
Ha, nice one!
The boys hadn’t fully grown on Remus by then. He was still terrified of James and Sirius’ constant energy and Pete’s lack of ability to disagree with a word either boy said.
Remus also found it quite hard to say no- James was very convincing, but Sirius pulled it off by giving him those puppy eyes. That's what got him every time. Those eyes would always be his weakness.
Sirius didn’t laugh at Remus’ joke. He didn’t even smile. Remus tried his hardest not to feel offended over his crush not laughing at his joke four years ago.
“That’s it, Black! Something’s definitely the matter, you always laugh at Remus’ jokes.” James huffed, poking Sirius’ arm. Sirius rolled his eyes and shoved him back gently.
“Drop it, James, I’m fine.” He said through his teeth. Little Remus had thought Sirius was being a dramatic little prick.
“Don’t be such a prat, Black. He’s worried about you.”
Looking back, Remus wished he’d been kinder. He knew blaming himself for something out of his control wasn’t right, but he couldn’t help but feel guilty.
“Yeah, c’mon! You’ve been acting off all day.”
“I said bloody drop it! I’m. fine.” Sirius yelled, glaring at the other boys. Remus saw the hurt on James’ face.
“Sorry mate.” He said quietly. Sirius was facing the window, not looking at anyone. Remus watched himself share a concerned look with Peter.
Sirius excused himself to the bathroom, slamming the compartment’s door on his way out.
Remus remembered having a conversation with James and Pete about Sirius’ attitude; James had expressed concerns about their friend not getting along well with his parents that he’d had since the beginning of term.
Remus had been jealous of James’ insight, wishing he’d been the one who’d been there for Sirius through all this madness.
It wasn’t like James knew- otherwise, Sirius would’ve been out of that house in a heartbeat. But he’d always listen when Sirius needed to rant, Remus knew this because he’d watch Sirius sneak into James’ bed and cast a muffling charm every so often.
It used to not bother Remus, he’d actually been grateful. He wasn’t the best with feeling having not been around other kids for the first eleven years of his life. But as they grew older and matured, Remus had longed for Sirius to confide in him. He’d wanted to know everything about the other- dark and light.
So when James got up to go talk to Sirius alone, Remus seethed.
That should’ve been you!
Then again, James was Sirius’ best friend. His person. Nobody understood Sirius Black better than James Potter and nobody understood James Potter better than Sirius Black.
Sirius had once said that the only reason Sirius was the brightest star was because there were two.
Like moths to a flame, James and Sirius would always search for each other.
Sirius had found an open compartment and sat with his legs to his head when James found him.
“Hey, Sirius.”
“Hey, James.”
James took a seat and sighed,
“Not excited about going home, yeah?”
Sirius turned to look at him through his arms before responding,
“Nah, not at all.”
He smiled at Sirius and wrapped an arm around his shoulders in comfort. Sirius leaned into James’ side, legs still tucked to his chest.
“I don’t reckon you get along with your parents, haven’t since the beginning of term.”
Sirius’ eyes widened, and his cheeks turned red with shame.
“We don’t see eye to eye if that’s what you mean.” He grumbled slowly pulling away from James.
“Well I’ve only seen her once, but that woman’s like a hundred and forty-nine centimeters, so I’d hope not.”
James’ lame joke seemed to hit Sirius in all the right spots. He started giggling uncontrollably, basically falling back onto his friend.
“She gets so pissy when anyone mentions her height.” Sirius snorted, Remus thought he saw a tear slip out.
“Y’know what that means for you, then.”
“No?”
“Unless you’ve got daddy’s genes, you’ll be a midget!”
“Oh shut up James!”
Sirius snickered and punched James’ arm. The two of them laughed and cracked jokes a bit longer before James said they’d have to go back to the compartment.
Time sped up again and suddenly the boys were headed off the train, saying their goodbyes.
“See you lads in a few weeks!” Peter pat them all on the back and ran off.
“Wait up, Pete! I’ll see you two, don’t get into too much trouble.” James pulled both boys into a hug by their necks. He offered Sirius a smile, which was returned.
“Sorry for being a prat, Remus. I’ll see you soon?” Sirius grinned at him as if nothing had happened.
“No worries, Black. Have a good Christmas.” Remus returned the smile, only slightly. Little Remus was a bit of an edgy little prick.
Little Remus strolled off, leaving Sirius alone.
Walburga, Orion, and Regulus Black waited by the exit. They looked terrifyingly perfect, Remus noticed Regulus’ smile when he saw Sirius.
“Sirius, there you are. Let’s not waste time, boy.” Orion’s emotionless voice was always so dreadful to hear. Sirius, who didn’t even get to greet his family, was latched onto by Walburga as they apparated to the door of Grimmuald place.
“Hello to you too, I suppose,” Sirius grumbled when he found his footing. Walburga was quick to scold him via smack across the head.
“Regulus, go to your room. I need to have a conversation with your brother.”
Regulus hesitated but followed his mother’s orders. Sirius looked apologetically at his brother.
Walburga grabbed Sirius's arm as soon as Regulus was out of sight and forcefully pulled him into the room Remus recognized as her study.
“I received your howler, Mother. What’s left to discuss?”
Walburga’s face turned red.
Someone’s in a mood.
“Do you know how utterly embarrassed me and your father are?”
Walburga’s look of hatred never failed to shock Remus, but Sirius looked unbothered.
“I didn’t mean to, that dingy old hat nearly put me in Hufflepuff!”
“Hufflepuff!”
Walburga struck her son again, this time with enough force to knock him back. Sirius kept his balance, holding the side of his cheek where she’d hit him.
“It wasn’t my choice, Mother- I was practically begging the hat!”
“I have heard enough! Bellatrix has informed Cygnus of rumors of you fraternizing with lesser blood, is this true?”
Sirius’ formerly solemn face shifted to anger, Remus was afraid of what words might escape his impulsive mouth.
“My roommates are not lesser blood, Mother. Just one of them is worth ten of you!”
Walburga screamed in outrage, kicking her son to the ground. Her wand rose, ready to strike.
“You will never speak to me that way again, boy. If punishment is the only way to get that through your head so be it.”
She cast a Diffindo that ripped the back of Sirius’ robes off again. He didn’t scream, though he looked like he wanted to.
The spell had cut Sirius’ skin- not as deep as the ones from before but certainly deep enough to bleed.
Remus watched as she used the spell twice on his back and three times more on his chest. Slashes mangled his body, and Sirius looked half dead.
Don’t puke- don’t puke- don’t puke!
Remus had never had a weak stomach but seeing this crime scene had him questioning whether or not the memory-watching deal would be cut short. He wished it would be desperately.
He’d seen enough to know why Sirius acted so dreadful sometimes. To know why Sirius refused to undress in front of the rest of the Marauders. To know why he loved as if he were afraid of never feeling connection again.
Walburga patched up Sirius’ wounds as she had before, fresh scars lining his back and chest. These scars were deeper than the ones from when he was eight. Walburga had lost all sense of pity now that Sirius was school-age, it didn’t matter that he was only twelve.
Once dismissed, Sirius limped upstairs and flopped onto his bed. He lay there for a while until tiny footsteps took his attention.
“Sirius?” The small voice of Regulus Black called. Sirius smiled and motioned for him to come in.
Regulus wasted no time in joining his brother on the bed. It was certainly large enough for two undersized preteens.
Regulus actually looked normal. His once too big eyes had finally aligned with the rest of his narrow face and his cheeks had softened slightly.
“Reggie, how I’ve missed you!” Sirius hugged his brother tight, ignoring any pain in his chest.
Regulus pulled away from the hug and looked down at Sirius’ stitched-up robes.
“She hurt you again, didn’t she? I didn’t hear any screaming this time,’ so I thought maybe..”
“Don’t you worry about me, Reg. I’m a real tough kid, I can handle my shit.”
Regulus nodded solemnly, frown deepening. Sirius laid back down and took Regulus with him.
“Will you tell me about Hogwarts? I- I wanna know about your friends.” Regulus asked shyly. This seemed to excite Sirius because he immediately nodded and started talking,
“I’ll introduce you to them next year! There’s James, Peter, and Remus- Oh you’d love Remus, he’s kinda like you. Very quiet and stoic but I think he’s just shy, cuz once you get to know him he’s the funniest bloke you’ll ever meet! Oh- and then there’s Peter, he’s hilarious! A bit of a sheep, but he’s real sweet. And my number one best friend of all time is James. He’s the best! Imagine me but ten times dumber, actually don’t imagine that it’s probably impossible- haha! But I’ve told them all about you!”
Sirius rambled on and on about his memories at Hogwarts. Remus could feel himself blushing at the praise, not that it mattered much.
Memories like this made it extra hard to hate Sirius Black.
.
.
.
After Remus felt the memory shift again, he tried to stop the spell. This was a total invasion of privacy and Remus had enough.
He was still beyond angry with Sirius but this was too much. Remus didn’t want this.
“Reggie, hurry!”
Sirius and Regulus were at King’s cross, their parents not far behind as their sons sped ahead.
“Sirius, you will not rush your brother.”
“Sorry, Mum!”
“Sirius Orion Black!”
Sirius ran off and giggled, pulling a shy-looking Regulus along. Remus felt himself recoil at Sirius’ carelessness.
Has he gone mental?
“Stop antagonizing them,” Regulus said coldly once they’d arrived at the Hogwarts Express.
“There’s nothing wrong with it, not like they can get me once we’re on the train.”
Regulus rolled his eyes and grabbed his brother’s wrist with force. Sirius winced in pain. Remus assumed there’d been an injury over the summer. When Sirius pulled back with a cry Regulus responded,
“Exactly.”
“Oh, don’t be sour, Reg! Let’s just get on the train before Mummy and Daddy spot us.”
Regulus nodded reluctantly. They made their way through the compartments until Sirius spotted the rest of the Marauders.
Remus cringed when he saw himself- still a foot taller than Sirius and Peter, though James had nearly caught up with him by then.
When James saw Sirius he jumped out of his seat and basically tackled the boy. Regulus looked horrified.
“I’ve missed your stupid face!” James laughed while clinging to his best friend as if he’d disappear any second.
“I’ve missed yours more!”
The boys reminded Remus of those awful school couples who’d snog constantly and call each other names like ‘honeybun’ and ‘pookie bear’.
“Ah- hey, lads! This is little brother, Reggie!”
“It’s Regulus, idiot. Don’t introduce me to your peers using childish nicknames.” Regulus’ voice was cold, nothing like the shy little boy who’d clung to his older brother like a koala Remus had seen before.
Sirius wasn’t affected in the slightest, smiling brightly as ever.
“This is James, Peter, and Remus- my best mates!”
Regulus scanned the compartment with obvious judgment. Remus saw himself make awkward prolonged eye contact with him. Regulus was intimidating, even at eleven.
His features were softer than his brother’s, but he had the nasty glare plastered permanently to his face.
“I’d say it’s good to meet the boys my brother mindlessly yaps about, but I’m less than impressed.” Regulus snarked, looking Remus up and down.
“Reggie, that was mean!”
Regulus rolled his eyes again, scoffing. Remus wondered what had changed since the last memory.
“Can I go now? I’ve done what you asked.”
“Apologize to Remus first!”
“I’m leaving, Sirius.”
Regulus Black left without saying anything more. Sirius looked sadly at Remus.
“Bundle’ve joy, that one.” Little Remus said in an attempt to lighten the mood. Sirius smiled slightly, which was a total win.
“You’ve got no idea,”
Sirius took a seat next to Remus and laid his head on his shoulder. Remus was immensely jealous of his former self.
“Thought the two of you were close,” Peter questioned, receiving an elbow in the shoulder from James.
“I thought so too, but that kid’s got claws.”
The mood was down- nobody knew what to tell Sirius. Remus and James were only children and Peter had an eleven-year age gap with his sister, they weren’t best suited for older brother talk.
“Well, enlighten us. We’re all curious about summertime in the most Noble House of Black.” Young Remus tried lightening the mood again, making older Remus cringe again.
“James, how was your summer!” That was all Sirius said in response. Remus felt stupid for not seeing the signs sooner. Yes, he had known Walburga and Orion were awful, but he hadn’t known they were evil.
“Uh, yeah! It was great,” James shot a look at Sirius, who buried himself deeper into Remus’ side.
“Me and Marlene did a lot of quidditch practice- I think we’ll both make the team this year.” He continued, suddenly sounding giddy. Remus might’ve thought James liked Marlene if he hadn’t known that boy’s one true love- quidditch.
“That’s Wicked, I bet you’ll make it!”
Sirius’ mood had improved quickly. He listened intently to tales of James and Peter’s summer. The two of them had grown up alongside Marlene Mckinnon, another Gryffindor.
“How ‘bout you, Remus? How was your summer?” Peter asked when he’d finished talking about his and James’ vacation to the seaside.
“Bit boring, honestly. Forgot how quiet life outside Hogwarts is.” Little Remus replied. Remus felt himself cringe again, he’d remembered wanting to seem nonchalant so the other boys wouldn’t figure out about his overprotective parents and boring life.
“You totally missed us!” James shot up and grinned bright as ever. Little Remus blushed and scoffed, “I didn’t! I was grateful for a break from the idiocy, especially this one’s.”
Little Remus poked the top of Sirius’ head. They all laughed and continued goofing off. Remus watched himself grab Sirius’ hand.
He missed the days when intimate contact like that was easy. If Remus even thought about touching Sirius he’d get nervous and blushy.
Sure, they’d hugged before. But it was rare for Remus to initiate contact- but Merlin he wanted to. It wasn’t fair of him to enjoy touching his best friend when he knew his feelings were one-sided.
Remus felt the memory shift only slightly, meaning he hadn’t gone very far ahead.
.
Remus assumed it would be the sorting ceremony- aka where Sirius and Regulus’ relationship crumbled, but it wasn’t. Sirius was walking down the DADA corridor. It was dark, making Remus assume he’d snuck out.
“Reggie, there you are!”
Regulus Black had turned into the hallway. His expression wasn’t sour, but it wasn’t particularly pleasant. Remus thought he looked sad.
His Slytherin robes were done as neatly and perfectly as ever, practically mocking Sirius’ chronically unkempt uniform.
“What do you want?” Regulus asked simply and harshly. Sirius swallowed before answering,
“Why won’t you talk to me? Just because we’re in different houses doesn’t mean you have to avoid me like the plague!”
“Don’t you get it!? I don’t want to talk to you or your blood-traitor friends, Sirius!”
Sirius looked hurt but continued to fight.
“What’s wrong with you, Reggie?! You’ve never acted like this before- please just tell me!”
“So you can play hero? So you can protect me? You’re such an idiot, Sirius! Hanging around those boys is you setting yourself up for Mother. I won’t be a part of it- you’ve made your choice. Live with it.”
Regulus Black turned away from his brother and began to walk off. Sirius stood there in shock, not able to say anything else.
Remus saw tears well up in his eyes as he began to walk back to the common room.
Regulus was cold-blooded for that. Remus understood his concern in not wanting to see his big brother hurt any longer, but shutting him out completely was really harsh.
Sirius quietly walked up the stairs and slipped into the boys’ shared dorm room.
James, Peter, and little Remus turned to face him. They’d been discussing his situation only moments before. Dried tears stained pink cheeks as three pairs of eyes watched him move quickly to the bathroom.
“How’d it go with Regulus?” Peter asked through the door. James shushed him loudly.
“Doesn’t matter!” Sirius was sitting on the floor of the bathroom with his knees tucked into his chest.
“You can always talk to us, Sirius. We’re your best mates, y’know.” James said softly after a few minutes. Sirius didn’t respond, still sniffling into his robes.
Remus remembers this like it was yesterday. The only time he’d ever really seen Sirius Black cry.
Two knocks on the bathroom door got Sirius’ attention. Little Remus walked in with a stately expression.
“Forgot to lock the door, aye?”
Sirius’ lip trembled as his eyes met the others. Little Remus’ face softened at the sight.
“Don’t pity me, Lupin. Just let me be.”
Sirius attempted to sound snappy, but the break in his voice didn’t allow it.
“What happened.”
“No.”
“Sirius.”
“Leave me alone!”
Little Remus sat down next to Sirius, taking up an uncomfortable amount of space.
Oh, the struggles of being lanky.
“Why do you care?”
“Because I care about you, Sirius. I’m not endlessly nice like James or as entertainingly funny like Pete, but I care. A lot. Especially about you.”
Sirius was quiet for a good minute before looking back at Remus with tears streaming down his cheeks and a wretched look.
“He- he won’t even talk to me! I keep trying to act like I don’t care but I do- I really do.” Sirius sobbed out. Remus could feel his heart breaking all over again.
How had one boy managed to rip his heart out so many times?
Little Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius, letting him cry into his chest. At that moment, nothing else had mattered. Not James, not Peter, not Regulus.
Just Sirius.
Always Sirius.