Dick Hate Club
Marlene McKinnon’s first love was quidditch. As a squat little one, her father, along with Fleamont Potter and his son, took the liberty of introducing them to their very first brooms. The brooms were simple things, not going very far or fast, but Marlene didn’t need very much to please her.
The same things she discovered then are what pull her onto the quidditch field now. Wind whistles in her ears, stray pieces of hair fly into her face, her cheeks flush. A permanent grin etched itself on her face long ago when she stepped into quidditch gear. As much as the pitch gives her happiness, she’s always been able to find herself out there too.
It’s why she’s out there right now.
After her second love, Laura Summers, screwed her over, there wasn’t much she could do except grab her broom, tell her friends to leave her alone, and fly. The silence of her dorm was stifling, the grounds of Hogwarts calling to her.
It's the very last night of her fifth-year, which, much to her disappointment, has gone out with a bang. She liked how everything was, and even though not much has actually changed, Marlene feels as though her life has been flipped upside down.
Whipping around on her broom isn’t an option she can rely on forever, so she retires to the grass, lying back to look at the twinkling stars above. She sighed, realizing she would either have to sleep out in the broom shed or call it a night soon--it would definitely end up being the second option because Lily would never fall asleep not knowing Marlene’s whereabouts.
Her night got much more interesting when Dorcas Meadowes suddenly blocked her view of the sky with a curious look.
“McKinnon?”
“Meadowes.”
Still clearly confused, Dorcas sits next to Marlene on the grass, a joint in hand. Marlene felt like she was being looked at under a microscope, even when Dorcas wasn’t looking at her at all.
“You seem a bit depressed.”
Marlene raises her eyebrows at Dorcas before responding. She was surprised Dorcas wasn’t revolted by the sight of her, so the fact that she had started a conversation had thrown her for a loop. Her defenses were heightened still, something that she would regret later as Dorcas hadn’t done anything wrong.
“Well, I wonder why,” she finally said bitterly, assuming Dorcas had already heard like the rest of the castle. Dorcas fixed her with a peculiar look and Marlene immediately knew that her previously made assumption was incorrect.
“The world does not revolve around you,” Dorcas laughed.
Marlene blushed and looked down at her legs. They were grass stained from a tumble she had taken earlier, having attempted to grab a quaffle she dropped on the grass.
“Out with it.”
She had no reason to feel like she needed to tell Dorcas anything. After all, they didn’t know each other that well. Their mothers did, of course, but they had only spoken together about school assignments briefly, or if they had found each other in the corridor, the only topic she knew they had in common was quidditch. However, something in her wanted to tell every truth to Dorcas, almost like a piece of her was reaching out to hold the other girl’s hand.
“You know Laura Summers?”
Even saying her name left a bad taste in Marlene’s mouth. There was a time she would have killed to be able to talk about Laura casually. It's saddening to think just yesterday her name brought a smile to Marlene’s lips.
It appeared that Dorcas didn’t like Laura much either for when her name was uttered, Dorcas scrunched her nose as if it were a habit.
“She told the whole castle I’m a lesbian,” Marlene sighed, pulling grass from the earth to calm her nerves--it didn’t work.
Having never been faced with any real homophobia, Marlene wasn’t quite sure she knew how to handle it. The only reason she knew loving other women as a woman was a problem was due to her aunt.
Auntie Tina had always been an influential part of her life. She was her mum’s sister and very best friend. One day when she was little, Marlene asked her why she didn’t get married and have children so Marlene could have more cousins to play with. After sharing a look with her sister, Auntie Tina told Marlene about lesbians for the first time.
It sounded like heaven to Marlene.
She would be able to swap clothes comfortably and use the other’s hairbrush when she inevitably misplaced hers. A vision of cooking pancakes, dancing around the kitchen as she sang into a stirring spoon, all the while another woman sat on the kitchen counter and laughed at her antics. Yes, Marlene thought, I want that. Her younger self would be so disappointed to know the girl she once loved had stripped a piece of her identity away and handed it to a bunch of people she didn’t trust.
In the present, Marlene’s words hang in the air for a brief moment. She considers running away, but she gets the vibe that her attempts would prove to be futile. Dorcas doesn’t give the type of person to just let another run away from a difficult conversation.
“I’m sorry that happened,” Dorcas says. “She’s a right arse for doing that to you.”
Finally looking over at the other girl, Marlene sees a surprisingly intense look on her face. Not disgusted by Marlene, but by Laura’s actions. Marlene breathes a sigh of relief.
“Thank you.”
They spend quite a few more minutes gazing at the stars in each other’s presence. Not much else is said, and not much has to be. Instead of passing words back and forth, the joint Dorcas brought earlier moves between the girls fluidly. Marlene enjoys it. It's nice.
…
Marianne McKinnon had her first child, a son, at the age of twenty. It was a short time after her graduation from Hogwarts, and an even shorter time from when she had gotten married to Alexander McKinnon.
Her life had been moving so quickly. She tried to slow down after having Caleb, but life only got faster with an infant running around their home. Eventually, Marianne wanted to pursue a career as a school teacher in the muggle world--being a Muggleborn this was extremely important to her--yet, having just started a family, she wished to stay home for a few more years.
Then came Marlene.
Another short two years later, the McKinnons became a family of four. There was so much joy to have had with a new baby. Caleb often found himself showing Marlene the world in a stroller. This made Marianne nervous as Caleb wasn’t the most stable on his feet yet.
Marianne was, by far, Marlene’s greatest inspiration. She was able to get the qualifications needed to become a muggle primary school teacher, and ever since then, she taught little ones the ABCs and their colors--among other things, of course.
If it was a scraped knee, bruised ego, or some other more horrible thing, Marianne had been there for both of her children with a kind smile and reassuring words. Marlene knew getting off the train that her mother would be able to sense something was wrong the moment she saw her face. Now, she didn’t want to hide it from her mother to begin with, but she didn’t wish for everyone on the platform to see her cry in her mother’s arms either.
Just as she suspected, her mother took the initiative of giving the Potters a short goodbye as she sent Marlene’s luggage off with their house elf. Their tradition of walking into London for lunch to recall Marlene’s adventures since their spring holiday was off to a great start, if it were being judged upon hasty exits.
They sat across from one another in the small diner. The red booths squeaked as one sat down, but Marlene had always thought it was part of the charm. As they get their tea, Marianne turns her attention completely to her daughter.
“What’s happened, love?”
Marlene closes her eyes to keep the tears from falling.
“There’s too much.”
She took a shaky inhale.
“Take your time.”
So, she takes a few minutes to collect herself. When her thoughts become more organized, Marlene starts small. She told her that she had met this girl during the halloween feast. They had gotten on spectacularly, but Marlene had never seen her before, so she was surprised when they had gotten assigned seats next to one another in history of magic.
That was when the notes had begun. They were innocent at first, making fun of peers, or talking about their weekend plans, but it would soon evolve into plans to meet each other in an unused classroom after lecture.
Marlene had never told her mother specifically that she was a lesbian, but Marlene had always loved girls. She had never felt the need for a label, although lesbian was as good as any.
Needless to say, Marianne wasn’t surprised when her daughter had told her she spent the better half of her fifth-year falling in love with a girl. If anything, she was proud that she had raised someone so unafraid to be herself--no matter what the papers had been saying recently.
What she was shocked to hear was that Laura had been dating a boy named Simon the whole time. Marlene and Lily had found them walking around the corridors discussing marriage and babies. And when Marianne was sure it couldn’t possibly get any worse, Laura found it appropriate to tell the entirety of Hogwarts that Marlene was a lesbian.
“I’m a lesbian! Sue me!” Marlene says, holding her head in her hands. “I don’t get what the big deal is. People have liked dick for ages, and personally I’ve always found that idea revolting-”
“Mar,” Marianne couldn’t help herself, she laughed.
“I haven’t created a hate club against people who like dick.”
Marlene cracked a smile at her mum, who was stuck in the middle of a laughing fit now.
“Wow, Mum, I can’t believe you’re laughing in the middle of my traumatic story,” she chided lightly.
“I’m sorry. You’re just so damn funny.”
“Dick hate club for two!”
“Stop!”
…
The McKinnon family had passed down a bookstore in the middle of Diagon Alley for ages. Alexander McKinnon had proudly inherited it once he left Hogwarts. Sometimes, Marlene wishes he hadn’t, so that she might spend her summer days somewhere other than their family’s bookstore. Other times, Marlene appreciates the extra pocket change she makes from working there--this usually occurs when she finds a new pair of Converse she must have.
It really was not something to complain about. One of her best friends, Remus Lupin, had begun to work there by her side the summer before this one, which was when the walls of the store became much less restricting.
The store was cute. Marlene had monopolized the record player in the corner, strictly playing the tunes that she knew and loved. The shelves were organized meticulously by genre, and alphabetized by author. It wasn’t ginormous in size, but it wasn’t too small either--the perfect size for the McKinnons to manage.
During their fourth-year at Hogwarts, Marlene and Remus bonded over something that no one would ever be able to take. Remus had been struggling over his newfound feelings for Sirius, which meant someone had to be there to reassure Remus he wasn’t an idiot for falling for his best friend. Since Marlene had experience in this particular department, Remus felt comfortable going to her day by day for more advice.
Of course, Marlene’s past situation was completely different--Lily did not end up being in love with Marlene the entire time--yet, by the time Sirius had confessed his feelings rather dramatically (Marlene still sometimes made fun of him for doing it in the rain) the two had become undeniably close. They had shared so much in the course of a year that Remus immediately applied to work side by side with Marlene so that they could continue doing so.
“Fuck, marry, kill,” Remus began with a smirk. “James, Sirius, Peter.”
Marlene stuck out her tongue in disgust. Remus laughed at her, having gotten the reaction he wished for.
After they had covered some heavier topics--Marlene’s new desire to work on herself outside of relationships and Remus’s self esteem issues, they passed the time by sorting new arrivals and playing increasingly obscure and obscene games.
“First of all, I’m a lesbian, so just no,” Marlene replied, not admitting defeat, but not committing to giving an answer either. “James is my brother, Sirius is your boyfriend, and Peter is my sweet little cherub.”
Her reply causes Remus to laugh harder. She loves making him happy, almost more than anything else in the world. He carries this deep sadness in his bones, like it was meant to be apart of his genetic makeup. Of course, Marlene resents this and spends her days trying to be the reason Remus has a smile on his face, and glaring at anyone who attempted to do the opposite.
Fortunately for her, Sirius Black came bustling into the store, carrying three iced coffees and a grin that would distract Remus from caring about Marlene’s answer. As Sirius began to recall his latest adventure through London, she watched Remus become entranced by his every word, without care about whatever else may occur around him.
She sighed to herself. By pursuing Laura, Marlene had wanted to find something similar to what they had. Alas, her friends’ warnings had been correct, the girl of her dreams was nowhere near Laura Summers, and she never would be.
Still, even though she’s more closed off than she once was because of a single previous experience, she would dedicate herself to finding someone she could meld into without losing herself in them. She would find someone that she could be separate from, yet also a single entity. Just, not right now, and hopefully, not in the near future.
She’s scared. And ashamed of her new fear.
The bell on the door rings as it opens. In walks a curious looking girl, no older than twelve. She carried a resoluteness with her that Marlene might not have recognized had she not seen it in the mirror that morning. The girl had dark brown hair in braids that went halfway down her back, beautiful golden eyes, and dark brown skin illuminated by the red romper she wore.
“Hello, may I help you find something?” Marlene called out.
The girl seemed pleased that Marlene had asked her if she needed anything before she could make it up to the counter. She hummed as she thought about what she would ask.
“Yes please,” she paused. “I’m looking for books on dragons.”
Remus generally knows the store better than Marlene--much to the disappointment of her father--but Marlene knew the care of magical creatures section by heart. This is due to her future aspirations of working in legislation to better protect magical creatures, such as dragons.
“Are you looking for info on the history of dragons, or more just about different species in general? We also have books on dragon tamers-”
“There are so many!” She interrupted.
Her eyes grew wide with excitement as they made it back to the correct section. Marlene smiled to herself and waited for her to answer.
“I was worried because I wasn’t allowed to borrow from Hogwarts over the summer--which is a load of horse shit because I haven’t even had a detention, let alone return a book damaged,” she began a long tangent.
Marlene listened attentively, trying to decipher which books might be best to recommend. This problem was quickly solved when the girl asked Marlene for her favorites.
“Let’s see, I’ve read most of them,” Marlene scanned the selection, cutting herself off as she spotted a title that she knew the girl would love. “Dragons Through the Ages, Why Dragons Are More Than Wartime Weapons, and-”
The bell on the door rings once again, in walking a very familiar, flushed face.
“Isla! We’ve talked about this!” Dorcas scolded the younger girl, who didn’t seem to care all that much. “You can’t just walk away from me like that.”
“Sorry, Cas,” Isla shrugged, her arms holding the two books Marlene had mentioned before. “I got bored of listening to you and your friend’s conversation.”
Marlene watched as Sirius and Remus were pulled from their bubble, perking up at the new voice. She involuntarily blushed. Dorcas seemed to realize she wasn’t alone with Isla, acknowledging Marlene for the first time since she had arrived.
“Hi, McKinnon.”
“Hello, Meadowes.”
She could feel Sirius and Remus cringing at her formality. It was awkward until Dorcas broke the eye contact between them and turned back to Isla.
“More dragon books?” She asked, clearly unimpressed.
Isla just glares as Marlene hands her the third and final book she was going to recommend, Saving Dragons from the Rest of the World. She tells the two of them to find her if they need help before practically running back to the safety of the register.
“I thought you were spending time on yourself,” Sirius comments, making her face turn a darker shade of red.
“I am,” she grumbled in response, deciding she probably couldn’t dive behind the counter inconspicuously.
“Have fun in denial land.”
Fifteen minutes of Marlene cowering behind Remus’s shoulder pass before Isla and Dorcas make their way towards the register. Isla added another book on dragons to her mix while Dorcas carried a stack of mixed genres. Remus took over the register for Marlene, who seemed unable to do much at the moment--which had nothing to do with the fact that a gorgeous witch was standing in front of them at the moment, why would you think that?
“I didn’t know the three of you worked here,” Dorcas said casually.
For a moment, the two boys waited for Marlene to explain that her dad owned the shop, but when she didn’t say a word, Sirius stepped in.
“Oh, I don’t, I’m just in love with Remus,” Sirius said easily.
Remus rolled his eyes as Dorcas laughed.
“Yeah, me too,” Marlene agreed.
“Oh?” Dorcas’s eyebrows raised. “Looks like you’ve got yourself in a bit of a love triangle there, Remus.”
“Don’t tell Sirius, but his love is one-sided,” Remus jokes, causing Marlene to cackle and Sirius to gasp rather loudly.
Not long after that, Dorcas and Isla leave the shop with their books, the former listening as she gets told all about the wonders of dragons. Marlene hears her name being said just once before they leave, but the notion that Dorcas could be in conversations about Marlene makes her blush against her will.
“You are SO whipped.”
“Shove off.”