Chapter 2
I find myself walking up the stairs to the tower and before I know it I am sitting on the balcony breathing in the fresh air like my life depended on it. I don’t know what it is but I don't realise how hard I find it to breathe inside until I step outside. If I could stay in the fresh air forever I would. I can smell the light promise of rain and can't wait for the morning after rain smell that tomorrow will bring. I hear lethargic footsteps pass the entryway and snap my head to see who it is. All I can make out in the dark is a tall figure with what appears to be some sort of animal slipper?
“Oh” the voice is low and raspy but not unfriendly. I shift in my seat unconsciously tucking into myself. I think I see the figure turn to leave and so I exhale looking up at the stars but instead the footsteps come closer and when I turn to look at James Potter bending down to look into the telescope. Before I can stop myself from being confused and questioning “Potter?” leaves my mouth, standing up straight all he says is, “Regulus.” my name feels foreign on his tongue, or him saying it is foreign to my ears. Either way, it's unpleasant.
I scoff to myself, unaware James would take notice.
“What” he says in an inquisitive, softer tone than I expected. Caught off guard I blink for a few seconds.
“Of course you would use the telescope wrong,” I say before I can stop myself.
“I'm not,” he says in an extremely defensive voice. “ what do you mean?” he says, which is again unexpected, does he want me to actually answer or is it more annoying rhetorical. A few moments pass and I realise he hasn’t gone back to looking at the telescope and instead is watching me, maybe waiting?
“You want to be able to see the whole picture the stars create rather than just an individual one. You don't really need the telescope, not on a night like tonight.”
“You come here often?” Another question that I don’t realise I'll actually answer until I am.
“Yeah” I mumble, not sure if he assumes that's weird, not that I care. After a second or two of just us breathing he says something I didn't predict.
“ can you… um .. show me what i'm meant to be looking for.'' Why? I ask myself but before I can think, he's sitting next to me. Not exactly next to me as there's quite a gap between us which I am thankful for. He watches me as if waiting for me to tell him something.
“Well” I'm not sure what to say. “ I normally look for the constellations, you can’t always see all of them.” I turn to glance at him and he looks more enraptured with what I am saying than I would have expected but it makes me feel… warm?.
He points to a constellation asking what it's called and I name it. He does 4 or so more and then I stand up. I didn’t realise how sudden my movement was as James flinched, ever so slightly. I mumble out something about it being late and me being tired. Disappointment flashes in his eyes before he gets up as well.
“ Well thank you “ he says in what can only be described as a genuine tone, “ I needed this''. With that he is walking back to his dorm leaving me standing there, pondering what he said. ‘Needed this’, what's that supposed to mean? He needed to know what the constellations were. Or did he need the peace the stargazing brought. That I can understand.
I head back to my dorm to find Evan and Barty sitting in the bed as if it were a couch watching something on Evan's computer. I sit next to them to see they are watching the breakfast club, they are about halfway through but I have watched it enough times to pick up where they are up to. They acknowledge my presence with a light kind hearted smile and I settle in comfortably to watch the movie.
I wake up drowsy and still foggy from sleep. I check my phone and the bright screen blinds me, 12:00. I look to my side to find a gap where the Barty was, he must have crept out so as to not wake us. Evan is lying huddled tightly onto his pillow. I get up and cover his blanket over him, hop into my own bed and fall into a restless sleep. It goes how it always does. The dream starts with me watching my younger self around 9 walking down the long corridor of my house. All the closed doors to rooms I am forbidden to enter seem to scream at me. Hissing and taunting until I realise the hallway is going on for a long time. Then suddenly in dream fashion I transport to another room and the family portrait is hung up in front of me and instead of Sirius’s face being blacked out it's mine and they are simply staring and laughing at me whilst my feet are shackled to the ground. Then all of a sudden I am alone shivering in a cold room hungry and scared and the walls start closing in until I sit up right in my bed sweating and pale. I don’t instantly snap back into reality, it takes a few minutes before I have my breathing under control again. I check the time and see it's seven. With it being saturday i'm sure Barty and Evan will want to sleep in so I get dressed into my (my brother’s) david bowie shirt and a worn pair of jeans both hanging loosely on my body.
I go into the bathroom splashing cold water onto my face then in my hair. Just now noticing how long and unruly it has become. It's sitting just below my ears with the part in the middle.
I begin walking to the girls quarters to see if Pandora wants to grab breakfast. I knock on her door and hear a muffled voice and movement so I walk in. To my surprise I see Lily Evans lying in Pandora's bed, the girl always hanging out with Sirius, James and co. Shock is one way to put it, stuck in my tracks I simply just stare from a Pandora rushing to get her shoes on to a fast asleep Lily. Pandora shoves me out the door before I can get a word out. “You can’t say anything” she hisses before I can protest she continues, “ It's purely casual okay Reg, I know that might be hard for your prude little mind to comprehend but she doesn't like me and I don't like her.” she falters ever so slightly at that last part and I can see a faint blush and hint on what can only be described as fondness in her eye.
“ mhm no feelings there at all” I say more sarcastically than I intended but the point was made nevertheless. We walk in silence to the dining hall, a smug not so smile adorning my face. Since it is just us we sit with Dorcas, Pandora’s roommate who must have been staying somewhere else last night. Seems it was an eventful night. They busy themselves with talking about the upcoming tests, annoying teachers and so forth. I chime in when I see fit, which isn’t very often because my eye seems to be caught on something. No someone. James is sitting at their usual table one diagonally across from us. He's sitting with only one of his friends, Peter? No Sirius in sight or the tall lanky one that Sirius is always looking at like he’s a lollipop. It seemed to have completely slipped my mind the strange but not entirely unpleasant encounter with James in the astronomy tower. James looks up and then we look at each other for a second too long for my liking. I don’t enjoy being observed, I do the observing. I clear my throat and finish up my meal before heading to the dorm room to see what Evans plans are for the day. On Saturdays we are allowed to go into town and so I assume that's what they'll want to do. They've been talking about a new smoothie bowl place. I don’t see the appeal with smoothie bowls especially not after trying an acai bowl and they're all the same thing aren’t they. Back at the dorm Evan is faffing about getting ready and things in quite a disorganised manner.
“Are you ready!?” Evan asks urgently.
“Yes, let me just grab a bag, what's the rush?”
“We have to go and get it.” Is all he says, not ringing any bells in my head.
“Get it?” I ask
“Yes get it, don’t tell me you’ve forgotten Barty's birthday,”. Oh! I slap my face in my mind of course, we’ve been planning to get him something for ages.
“What is he going to do, isn’t he coming shopping” the dots not yet connected in my brain.
“Yes, that's why we need to rush. We told him to meet there at 10.30.” finally up to date I start rushing as it is already 10 past 9.
The walk into town is quite beautiful being in the English countryside and all that. The rolling hills in the distance and slight smell of morning dew. We walk along the road not concerned of getting run over as it is a one way road to the school and no one ever comes in. We walk in a silence that is anything but uncomfortable. Evan although it's been years continues to grow on me.