Tournament
YEAR 1979 P.A.
"We all gathered here to watch our new generation to fight for their goals and dreams. You will face humanity's greatest opponents, ourselves." A man announced proudly, almost screaming at them that empty, meaningless prologue of their tournament. "Rules are easy, you win when the opponent is knocked out, wants to give up or cross the border of the prize ring. Let the tournament begin!"
They were already paired up in who fights who. Annie sat at the edge of the group, lonely, quiet, regretting that they somehow didn't put her and Mikasa again to fight. Since their arguments, they didn't talk, they didn't even train together, Annie missed their sparring sessions and punches shared. She missed the flow of blood she had when she had to dodge Mikasa powerful hits. She also missed their late night conversation, she didn't realise how much she enjoyed being around those two black haired people till they stopped wanting to be around her.
No, no, relationship weakened her, she won't allow herself to have them. Relationship will cross her borders, it will show off her flaws and break her armour, she won't just accept this. She can't get easily attached, she can't let herself be close to someone like she was with Levi and Mikasa. They basically seen her through, the more she thought about it, the more it became disgusting. She showed too much. She won't get used to having some around so easily ever again, she will come back to her ways in Marley, but this time, she will be only loyal to herself, not her father.
She won't allow those hopeless kids that sat next to her accomplish anything in this tournament as she will be the best one, she deserves this after years of hard work and broken, bloody fists.
They aren't like you, Annie, they are worse, she told herself but she couldn't help the illusion of her father saying those words go away.
8 kids were there to fight, what did Levi meant by saying a lot of people will join the Scouts? Is this a lot? 8 weak children? Annie looked through the list of the matches between them.
First one was someone called Sasha Braus and Connie Springer. She noticed a brunette in the middle of loud group of seven kids meeting each other. Must be Sasha. Next to her was a boy who looked almost bald, Annie could hear them joking about fighting each other to death. Must be Connie.
The man who lead through the event was from Dreyse Clan, as their clan was the one in power of the country, they were the one who took care of every year drafting system. Lastly, military wasn't a popular choice between youth, that is why they lowered the drafting age. He spoke in a very specific way, like he is making a performance all about him, shooting his arms all around him and moving his head around like crazy. From time to time, he wet his lips with his tongue, showing off golden piercing that symbolised his family. Everyone in Dreyse Clan had their tongue pierced, the same way all of the Ackermanns had the same ring.
Except for Annie Ackermann, but she is not equal to them yet.
Not a lot of people were on the Ackermann mansion's training field. There were 8 candidates and 6 of people who watched over the event, the Dreyse man, Levi, Erwin Smith, Hange Zoe and two other people Annie didn't know the names of.
"Sasha Braus and Connie Springer, get prepared." The anchor announced. "You have two minutes before the match begins."
The rest of the group, except for Annie, cheered them up as they went towards the middle of the place, where the fight will take place. They were loud, clapping at each other and playing bets on who will win. Annie believed the boy will, the girl didn't stand a chance, she could see from there how unathletic she was. She still wore childish body fat on her, that meant she didn't work hard enough to loose it, like Annie did. The boy seemed more familiar with work, he can handle more when it comes to pain, definitely.
"Let the show begin." Dreyse man smirked like he is about to watch the most exciting movie and not just two kids fighting for their only chance to live as normal member of the society.
>---
Connie won, as she predicted. It was an equal fight, to her suprise but the girl tripped over to the outside of the ring, that meant she lost straight away as you can't t cross the border of the field.
Next fight was between Armin and Marco Bott. They were almost the same posture, same attitude, same skinny legs that looked like two sticks. The only difference is, Marco had darker hair. They both had that fragile kindness Annie despite.
Annie wasn't focused on the fight, she only registered that Armin somehow figured out the way to push Marco off the ring to disqualify him. He had a broken nose and a roaming black eye, but the blonde boy still smiled at his friends as she beat his first opponent.
Pathetic.
He would be even more pathetic if he wouldn't beat someone as vulnerable as Marco, none of them had any training, what is this bullshit? Annie felt like someone spat on her, disgrace her. She at least expected two equal opponents to her, excluding Mikasa, so this tournament will feel harder, and more prestige.
The anchor looked at his papers, where he had notes of all of the matches, and raised his eyebrows. Two Ackermanns in one year? That is unusual, what was even more odd was that out of the only two girls left, only one had black hair. None of the Ackermanns had light hair, blonde is not a dominant gene.
"Annie and Jean Kirsten." He purposely missed her surname, thinking that maybe it is a mistake and since, there is no other Annie out there, she will know she is the called one. What would she do? Say that this disgrace her and call him to court? His family is the one in charge of the court!
Maybe if it was Mikasa she will be at least a bit enthusiastic like the rest of the candidates, because Mikasa was the only worthy opponent, other ones were just an easy objective to step over. To destroy. She walked over with bored expression, her messy hair falling on her face.
"Fix your hair, it's blocking off your sight." Jean commented with a sarcastic smirk. She didn't. "Just don't cry after you lose because of it."
Annie ignored him, catching a glimpse of Mikasa with a corner of her eye. The girl looked like she cursed Jean for saying such things towards Annie, she already knew the outcome of this fight, who will win. Mikasa opened her mouth, maybe to warn Jean, or maybe to ask her to be gentle, but she didn't. She didn't have time left for any advices.
Annie picked up her favourite position and already covered most of her face with her arms, the boy looked at her like she is crazy, he chuckled at her. Idiot, Annie stated, you arleady lost. God, he was so annoying.
"Start." The leading man commanded and Jean immediately jumped towards her.
His fist was mid air, almost reaching her face as she grabbed it harshly. She pulled it closer to her collecting all the strength she has, the boy was already falling. As his face flew to the ground, she dropped his hand and grabbed his hand instead. She punched his nose with her knee harshly and then, let him fall onto the sand.
He reached ground with an empty sound, but he was still conscious. She decided to tire him off, knowing that will bring her much more satisfaction for him to give up than him passing away. She chose the place on his nape that will hurt the most, years of studying human anatomy helped that, and hit that place over and over again. When he tried to get up, she pushed his head harder to the ground, almost making him choke on the dirt.
It became boring after few kicks. She changed the place and her hit landed on the side of his face, it got him some free place so he rolled over to be on his back, catching a first breath in a long time. Sand was in his eyes, it made them tear up, his nose was broken, bleeding and probably one of his teeth was gone, she hoped that was a baby tooth and it will eventually grow out.
"I thought I'll be the one crying." She chuckled cruelly as the first whimpers escaped the boy's mouth. Pathetic. So fucking pathetic, who was he to even challenge her? Levi Ackermann trained her, she won't let some weak bastard laugh at her.
For a second a memory crossed her head, a memory of herself as her eyes were covered in dust as well, and there was Petra to help her.
She stopped herself before flashbacks take her attention out of the crying boy beneath her feet. She placed it on his eyes, letting more dirt fall onto them. Good luck, getting that out.
"Give up." Annie ordered, knowing how hurt his fragile, teenage boy ego will be. His lips almost parted to respond "never", but before a sound escaped his mouth, she placed her shoe over it harshly.
She'll get the answer she wants, no matter the cost. Erwin is watching, Levi is, Mikasa is, she won't let them watch her not succeeding on winning against some arrogant bastard. The boy froze in fear, he hadn't expected that from a little girl but here he was, laying completely destroyed after what, half a minute?
"Are your hair blocking off your ears? Give up." She chuckled, moving his abused face around with her feet, her hands in the pockets of her sweatpants. She noticed the cruelty of her actions but she also noticed how enjoyable it is to hold power over someone.
Maybe, those weak opponents are actually a blessing.
"I do." Jean murmed under his breath as there was still shoe crushing his cheek. "I give up."
She stomp over him and went to her previous spot, when she crossed the group of candidates, they all grew quiet. They all tried to escape from her sight, only Mikasa stared into her blankly. Annie couldn't help it but stare back at the girl right in the middle of children, her black hair standing out from the rest. Mikasa looked at her like she doesn't recognise her, like she isn't a girl she spent the last three years with.
I didn't change, Mikasa- she craved to scream, but no word could escape Annie's mouth- I was always like this.
I just couldn't show it to someone like you.
She couldn't show it to such a warmhearted, talented girl from wealthy family. It was not challenge to guess how she would react at the information of Annie being from Marley, being found outside, alone... Now, it wasn't just guessing, it was a fact, it did happened like that.
I wouldn't like a daughter like you as well...
No one did, no matter if they were bounded with blood, night shared or feelings, at the end, she always destroyed it. She needs to be better so she won't do it anymore, she won't destroy any relationship if she reject them all. After she accomplish this, everyone will be proven wrong! Then, they will wish for a girl like her!
Those conclusions echoed in her mind as she sat on the ground, seperated from others. Since she and Mikasa got into arguments, she had problems with keeping her eyes dry, some tears already filled them. She blinked them in, hating to show any weakness after literally torturing some random kid.
They dragged Jean almost unconscious body out of the field, the leading man seemed very proud of the show she put on. He could hardly stop himself from applauding loudly. He noted something on his papers, probably crossing Jean's name of the list, qualifying Annie to the next round.
"Eren Yeager and Mikasa Ackermann!" He announced, clearly exited after reading another person of this surname.
Annie swallowed hard as she saw, just with a corner of her eye, those two walking towards the centre. It was painful, she already knew the outcome of the fight and it wasn't the one she wanted. Mikasa should win, not him, but he will still do as Mikasa will give up her victory for him.
She remembered how amazed she was about giving up yourself for someone, maybe, after all, it wasn't that good of an idea? What if she will end up like Mikasa? Loyal to some homeless, childish, dumb boy with hopes way too high for him?
No, she stated as she looked past through two of the candidates and noticed Erwin in the crowd. He is not a stupid boy, he is a man who knows what he is doing with life, his own and everyone's else. He was smart, dedicated with actual good start to do something meaningful, something great that will help Annie reach perfection.
"Start." The Dreyse man commanded, rolling his tongue around to show off his piercing, he did that way too often, he was too proud of his family of bastards.
That's how Annie portrayed them, drowned in luxury bastards who are starved for any sort of power. They didn't have nothing more than money, they didn't have a military strength of Ackermanns, why are they still in charge of this country?
She'll figure it out later, probably. Now, the important thing was Mikasa and Eren dueling. She was holding back, but she covered it well, only Annie and Levi could notice how purposely slow her moves were. No, not slow, just not as fast as they should be. Mikasa wasn't trained like this, her hits were definitely more precise after those three years, so how would she miss his head by an inch now?
Annie clenched her teeth. Why did Mikasa lowered herself to his level? None of them deserved each other, Mikasa was way too good for him, she was to close being perfect to chose full of flaws idiot. Stop it, please, Annie begged her quietly, show him his true place, show them all how good you actually are.
She didn't, to the end of the match only three serious punches were thrown before Mikasa "tripped over" and landed over the border of the ring. How long was this fight? 2 minutes? It barely started and Mikasa already lost, what the fuck is she doing to herself, why does she wants to appear so weak? Against Annie, she could duel for even an hour, without a break without a moment of unequal fight...
Annie craved to put Eren in the right place, in the place for trash, fragile people who can't handle true power, true perfection. Good thing she was his next opponent, she will get her revenge for Mikasa. He will experience what a real Ackermann training change in a child.
>---
Five minutes break and another rounds of battles started, in this part, only two of them will happen, choosing the final rivals that will battle for the first place.
"Connie Springer and Armin Arlert."
Annie only glanced at the fight with the corner of her eye, she was still focusing only on her upcoming battle against Eren. Armin played the same old trick like he did with Marco, he made Connie step out of border of the ring disqualifying him. This time the blonde boy came out more beaten up than before, he was at the verge of passing out after he took few punches from Connie, but he still seemed proud of himself.
Annie rolled her eyes. Pathetic. All of them were so pathetic. How could you get so easily tricked, being pushed away from the battlefield? How could you be so happy that you won when you barely made it out? Annie portrayed the fight in black and white, you can only win by almost killing you opponent while being untouched yourself. Her only exception was Mikasa, she liked to be equal to her, she liked how they treated each other and became each other motivation for development.
But it was just one false friendship that quickly ended. Annie needs to pick up her old ideas about victory being a state where you loose nothing and gain everything, not a single exception.
"Annie and Eren Yeager."
She will win in the purest form of this idea.
He is already dead in her eyes.
They scanned each other, Eren being more careful, maybe even scared a bit, while Annie stared back at him in pure aversion, disgust that caused almost boredom. She raised her eyebrows as she scanned his body, this won't be hard, he can barely stand the most efficient way. But what came to her suprise was that he tried to pick up her own position, copying her.
Did he really thought it would give him something? That he will stand a chance against her after she trained for four years?
At this point, just give up, Eren, played in Annie's mind as some sort of sentiment reached her from deep places in her heart. A sentiment towards Mikasa, she likes that boy, maybe, she should be easier on him...?
No, that's bullshit, she shouldn't and she can't, she is more than that. She will show who she really was in every way possible, no matter how people will hate her for this. Training, strength, cruelty was all the part of her, she won't hide it away. It didn't matter how much they will call her a monster for abusing them like that every time they had to duel.
"Begin."
Eren got closer to her, slower than Jean did, Annie couldn't guess if it was smart or dumb for him. He didn't have experience of her or Mikasa, he didn't know what he was doing, why was he trying to mimic Annie's techniques? His arm went forward towards her defended chin.
His fist reached her arms, he tried to hit her face from the bottom but she got her elbows apart so his hand will fall right in between them, Annie blocking his hands in place. She grabbed his fist fastly before he could react, pulled him closer and grabbed his shoulder. He was a bit more heavier than Jean, she will need more support to make him fall.
Eren tried desperately to let go out of her tight grip, and it almost worked, but it also didn't take long for Annie to make him fall. He hit the ground and as she was getting ready to start kicking him, he rolled over. She kicked air.
Clever move...
Maybe, he wasn't as much of a loser as she thought he was, but one wise action couldn't change the way Annie sees him. He was still the boy who stole Mikasa from her.
His freedom from her lasted few second, he rolled maybe for two but then, Annie immediately stepped on his back mid through the act to stop him. He laid on his stomach and her feet was pushing him into the ground, Annie using all of her body weight for him to not roll out from beneath her any further.
She blocked off one of his hands by also stepping on it and reached for the seconds one. He moved around to make it harder for her, but it wasn't hard enough for her to catch his hand and turn his arm the right way to dislocate his shoulder. Annie stood over him, threating as she pulled his arm more and more towards her. One inch too much and he can barely move his shoulder...
Give up already.
He didn't, Eren just glanced at her waiting for her to move by that inch too much. He was challenging her to do that. She almost gave in, but she stopped herself the last moment. No, it wouldn't hurt him enough, it would just prove him right about her, that she can be predicted, he will somehow defeat her in his mind as she did what he expected. Later, be might start to explain that it was because she had more training he might flex that he has a power of reading people's emotions and that after all, it is not hard to outplay her.
What would humiliate him more? Physical scars will heal up and he won't feel it as a punishment, he will just spread hatred towards her trained, cruel behaviour.
She let him go but one of her feet was still holding his hand in place. As she stepped out of him, he began to try to escape from the grip on his wrist. He was too busy to notice than Annie moved her leg and...
"He is out of border." She stared, looking coldly into jury's eyes. She said so as Eren was close to escape from her and start the battle again...
"Just by his finger." The Dreyse man noticed and it was true, Annie manipulated Eren's hand just enough for top of his fingers will be out of border, disqualifying him.
"Rules are rules, he lost." She almost spat out, moving her feet again to make his fingers reach even further.
"Can't argue with that." The man smirked. Annie still expected for him to say something, it wasn't hard to figure out what it was. "You won."
Only then she walked out of the ring but Eren was still on the ground staring empty at what was in front of him. She knew it would be the effect, she knew how he would prefer an easy story about her brutal behaviour and his brave defence, feeding his ego.
That's why she chose otherwise, something that will hurt his mentality. She knew how those stupid mistakes that could be avoided hurt, how much
" what if..." appeared and how they made you awake till midnight. He will blame himself for being defeated too childishly, over stupid fucking mistake.
He barely stood on his feet as he walked towards their group, quietly, all of his pride disappearing as the feeling of guilt flown him. He truly wished to be beaten up, at least he could play a tragic hero, now, he was just a tragic idiot that she didn't even sweat while overcoming.
Mikasa tried to say something, to both of them, but she couldn't, she was still frozen but her anger burned in her as fire.
>---
The final was the most unexpeced thing for Annie. Her and Armin Arlert in the ring? Is this a fever dream? Or is it a fever nightmare? It will be a nightmare for him, she promised herself.
No, he didn't do anything wrong but today she craved to hurt, so she won't feel like the only one being hurted. She figured out Mikasa will be even sadder as she will take her anger out on Armin, not Mikasa.
Annie promised herself that Mikasa will regret every bad word she spoken to her, every day she spent with them instead of Annie, those few days Mikasa acted like they didn't know each other, that growing feeling of jealousy every time Mikasa appeared...
Revenge.
She will sacrifice this day for it, tomorrow she will come back to how she was before because now is her only chance to hurt Mikasa to the core.
"Armin Arlert and Annie."
Her surname was still not said out loud, maybe it is caused by her being only a honourable Ackermann, not an Ackermann fully. She will never understand all of the rules of clans and surnames in Paradis...
No one cheered, no one hyped Armin, no one believed for him to go out of this well. No one had guts to say so, except for Mikasa, she grabbed him by his wrist. He leaned over her and she whispered an advice.
Give. Up.
As the boy walked towards the centre of the field, he was trembling, his friend's words keeping his mind busy. Is this really the only way out of this? He reached this high because his previous opponents were clumsy, yes, physically stronger than him but they weren't focused enough to fix minor mistakes.
Annie can't be defeated that way, she will kill him with one punch, she proved it with Jean. With Eren, as she took the same technique to make him fall, she also proved her cruelty and how hard she tries to embarrass her rival. Armin couldn't potray himself as her rival, they were on two different levels.
Her two previous fights has the same start, she chose otherwise this time. She didn't even pick up a position, she saw none threat in him to even try to seem interested. Her jaw clenched tight as she stared into ground, she waited for the announcement to begin. As she waited she thought of all those time she let Levi, and not only him, beat her up. She always thought this is what she deserves, sometimes those feelings mixing up with pure adoration of someone's strength.
She always wondered what Levi felt as he did so. Now, she guessed that it was similar to what she felt as she won those two times. The feeling of being better than someone, the feeling that they can't resist you as you are much stronger than them, victory. Victory leads to perfection, perfection doesn't loose, Annie loved victory over those candidates.
She loved them less with Mikasa, or no, she just loved them differently. She had more satisfaction from them, Mikasa was an equal, to defeat her you truly need skill and hard work. Every time when she won against Mikasa something in her heart grew as she grew better at fighting, as she improved. With Mikasa she even loved loosing, it brought determination to progress.
When she won against those kids, her point of being better than them just gained proof. Annie loved to proof to herself that she is stronger than most of the people, that she is special.
Annie didn't hear the command to begin, Armin was the one who made her conscious of it. He attacked first, did they not learn? Would there be one person who will wait for her to make a first move?
She didn't mind as he ran towards her madly. No eye contact, she still stared at the ground. It was like air moved and she could sense it, she took one step to left as his hit we to towards the place where she had her face before. Annie's leg kicked his and as he clearly lost his balance as it all went to the punch, he fell as hardly as the previous ones.
This whole tournament is a joke, Annie stated, the only way to make it more exciting is to put me and Mikasa against each other, it would be better for all of us...
She didn't even bother to end him, she stood arrogantly over him. Head tilted right decorated with empty, bored, blue eyes. She waited for him to give up. He is supposed to be the smart one, isn't he? She questioned as stories from Mikasa found its way back to her.
Why isn't he moving? Is he already passed out? Annie decided to check, she moved closer to him and raised his head with her shoe. He had tears in his eyes. What is it all about anyway?
Right, revenge.
Annie rolled her eyes, it is starting to get repetitive. Is she really going ot pull the same trick thrice today? Turns out, after all, victories over them quickly stop tasting good. She doesn't have anything more to prove.
Untrained hand grabbed her standing on the ground ankle as she stepped on his head with the second one. Is he still trying to do something? She let go his head and stepped on his wrist. She quickly put his hand just in the right angle to almost break it, it was stuck between her boots. He looked in fear at the picture next to him.
Annie raised her eyebrows as she still expected something, she figured out revenge wouldn't taste good with such a pathetic opponent. Maybe if Armin and Eren switched places... Yes, even Eren is more worthy of an opponent than he is.
Only silence came from his side, so she pushed his hand just right to break his wrist in between her feet. Silence was gone, now, screams filled the field. Annie still seemed unbothered, what is he waiting for? Give up already. She stepped back and he rolled over to his back, holding his destroyed wrist lightly.
Blood dipped from it everywhere where he moved. Memories of Petra lifeless body flashed in front of Annie's eyes, but she shut them up. As always, she never wanted to relive this, she didn't want to be driven back to floods of blood everywhere around her and empty sound of the falling tree... She couldn't do it as she would completely fall apart.
Armin wasn't Petra, she reminded herself. There is no reason to spare him as none of them will give up. Armin out of his stupidity and Annie out of her ambitions.
The girl walked towards him again and stepped on his broken wrist, placed on his chest. She pressed harshly into it, almost fully standing on Armin's torso. He cried. He cried loud enough to make Annie's ears bleed as well.
She placed her feet fully on his wrist and her other feet went for his face, she stood on him, making him choke, cry, bleed... Something around his nose broke as she pressed hard enough and she went for his throat. His chin covered with red liquid coming from his nose, her shoe crushing both, his neck and his torso...
Armin wished he fainted, why couldn't he just pass out? He wished he could give up, but Annie blocking his throat didn't help him as well as his growing fear of his opponent. Torturer. Torturer is a right word, not opponent.
Annie waited for him to pass out too, except she was just bored of him. He wasn't Mikasa who stands a chance against her, he wasn't Jean who had ego to break and he wasn't Eren that Annie put blame for all of her problems on. Just Armin, Armin who couldn't do anything to her. She was tired of hurting him, but there was no other way.
Blood swam into his opened mouth, choking him. She let go last moment as the image frightened her, it reminded her of Petra so much she was scared the boy might actually die from her attack. That moment of remorse made her even more of a monster than she was already portrayed as.
She hated that she stopped, it frustrated her that she couldn't end him in one move. Give. Up. She ordered him quietly as the only sounds escaping from his mouth were cries. All of her anger tried to leave her as she pushed his face into the ground with her heel. His teeth fell off but she continued, this time she won't stop.
Her face was covered with her blonde hair, so she let herself seem weak for those few minutes as she choked Armin with her shoe. She closed her eyes, if she won't see it, it won't bring back THOSE memories... Right?
She silenced his screams that got quieter every second. He finally lost his consciousness, making her a winner of the tournament.
>---
Mikasa couldn't stand what she witnessed. Annie wasn't a monster, she repeated herself over and over again, but as Armin's blood soaked through Annie's shoe, Mikasa knew it was a lie. She was one, no human being would have as much brutality as she has.
Why couldn't she let him go? Give up herself? She knew she would win every duel between them, why did she insisted so much? What did she truly crave? What are her true plans, intentions...
Since Levi told Mikasa about Annie's origin story, she couldn't look at her the same. Annie who she trained with, who she trusted, who she told everything being from the foreign country with reputation of isolated barbarians, as the worst rumours said. Annie wasn't like this, she wasn't one of them, she wasn't rotted to her core as them, she didn't hurt anyone...
Mikasa no longer believed it, Annie was a monster. Annie had it in her blood, Marleyans were always different from other countries, they always craved to fight, battle, they searched for violence in their developing society. They didn't believe in permanent peace between them, Marleayns always expected for someone to stab them in the back, they didn't notice that they done it first by separating themselves from their neighbours.
Yes, they mined but they didn't trade, they didn't let anyone enter or leave their borders, they forced everyone to survive through 5 tough years in military as teenagers, they leaked almost none information about themselves, ignoring all of laws stated by Paradisians.
Annie had it all carved into herself as she was born one of them, Mikasa hated that she realised it so soon. Maybe, if she accepted her "friend" being a bastard she would hurt her more, she would try to destroy her wholely so Annie won't hurt her true, good friends in future...
Levi didn't tell Mikasa everything, he didn't tell her anything about death Annie caused, not wanting for her to push her away even more than she would do with her nationality. He thought that with the tournament, Annie began a carrier of making people hate her. She did that all on purpose, he thought, she doesn't want to be loved. Or she doesn't believe that this is possible, he once had it mindset as well...
Mikasa couldn't bear it as she saw Armin's almost lifeless body being dragged somewhere to be taken care of. Why couldn't he just give up? No, he is not the one to blame, Mikasa reminded herself. Annie could stop any moment and wait for him to make a reasonable statement, why did she decided to be this brutal against him? Mikasa silenced out the pictures of Annie standing over Armin, waiting for him to do so, Mikasa didn't want to justify her old friend.
No bond were there anymore, she decided to break it off fully. Annie is not a girl for her. Sasha is, Sasha is kind, Sasha is funny, Sasha is loud, she could read Sasha like an opened book... Sasha is from Paradis, Sasha is normal. Annie isn't, Annie is everything a girl shouldn't be, Mikasa explained to herself. She can't trust her, Annie will stab her in the back any time she has...
She literally did this now, making two of her closest friends bleed. She can't accept that. As Annie walked over to her old place isolated from the whole group, only Mikasa dared to stare at her. They locked eye contact and Annie seemed like she regrets nothing with her empty gaze.
Fists clenched tightly against her thighs, Mikasa stormed towards the blonde haired girl. Annie stared at the ground, bored, she seemed so fucking bored the whole time, where was Annie who waited with excitement for their every training? Mikasa couldn't know how much of happiness brought only the fact that Annie could see the Ackermanns fight, sometimes she didn't care about her own progress, sometimes she did, Annie grew as indecisive as Levi as he never could make his mind on the strange girl.
Mikasa put her forearm against Annie's throat, making her blue eyes wander to her face, she wanted to choke her as she did to Armin... No, no, no, no, she needs to prove that she is over it, that she is not as horrible as Annie. That she is good. Her hold loosen up, but it still held Annie's chin facing upwards so they locked eye contact again.
"Mikasa I know finally came back." Annie commented in bitter, dry tone. "Don't you think it is too late? You already lost..."
Resentment rotten deeply into Annie's voice, resentment caused by their lost friendship and years spent... Anger took control over Mikasa, she hit her, hardly, full force, this will make Annie gain a black eye...
Annie looked at her as grip on her throat tighten and she... Smiled. She was right, she was so right... Mikasa was back, this is powerful Mikasa who wasn't afraid of her, who won't back off from punishing her. Ackermann charm. Strength at its most primitive, purest form.
Annie will be pure, she will be strong, the strongest, the fastest, she will be more than lies that everyone show as their first impression. Annie won't lie, she will show only truth about her nature, true human nature as this is how humanity was carved, as it was perfect the way it was. Truth is perfect, strength is perfect. The only thing the Ackermanns lacked are the power to not lie, Annie gained it. She will show the whole world who she truly is, how perfect she might become...
There was something uneasy in Annie's tired, yet so joyful smile as she accepted it. Mikasa shuddered. Annie brought her closer by the collar of Mikasa's white shirt.
"Are you lowering yourself to my level, A-cker-mann?" She spelt the surname poisonously as Annie was a part of them as well now. "Let me be the only one to hate here, please. Go to your amazing friends and leave me to rot at the very bottom, alone."
"You are an Ackermann only because they felt sorry for you. There is something wrong with you and I will make sure no one will ever forget this, so you won't hurt them like you hurt me..." Mikasa dropped her off as she made the promise.
If Sasha didn't tell her, she wouldn't ever know that Annie still smiled as Mikasa left her.
>---
To everyone's suprise, Erwin was the one to make an announcement at the end of their tournament. Armin felt well enough to sit at the bench as the ending came, Mikasa and Eren guarded over him, not letting anyone close. Annie still isolated herself, even when Erwin asked them to stand in the line, she took two big steps to not feel even the essence of Connie.
What he said brought even more of a suprise than the fact that the Dreyse man left the event, allowing Erwin to do whatever he wants and telling him that all the documentary are already signed.
"Dear candidates." He began softly, glancing over children as they were his dearest gift from God. "You came here to make a change in this world and in you own life. To join one of three... Groups of Paradisian military. All of our detachments give you all free place to live, the luxury of apartments depending on the luxury of the group, of course, and enough money to buy you basics. We need to remember that our true mission is not to boost our materialistic way of thinking, as our mission is to make a change."
Eren looked at him hopefully, this is the leader he craved to have and as Annie always had an urge to point out all of his actions and put them in the bad light, in that moment, she understood. Annie craved to be under Erwin's protection for the past four years...
"And our generous clan of Dreyse decided to make a change. They decided to give the Scouts the best gift we could ever ask for. A group of young, determined people who will power our ranks. Welcome everyone, I am your new commander as you all are now, the part of the Scouts!"
"Wait, what about the rule of free choice?" Jean firstly interrupted and Annie had to agree with him again, he had a point. Yes, Annie won't chose anything else than the Scouts but what hid behind it all?
"You already chosen the military, nobody said that this year will have few different types to chose from. Not to mention Special Forces and the police are very overcrowded. It is also good to be said that you are the part of true miracle, Dreyse decided to make a change with the Ackermanns and try to solve their growing rivalry that might be dangerous in some time." Erwin explained and their twelve year old minds couldn't understand what he actually meant, it sounded meaningless, but smart, that means that they actually have the reason for their sacrifice and they can't argue with any of this.
The candidates nodded and Erwin walked away as he announced that all of papers are already signed and they will meet again in a week.
>---
He didn't even look at her.
Was what echoed in Annie's mind at the same night the tournament ended.
Erwin walked past her as they didn't know each other.
Levi did too.
They acted like they don't know her, like she is a stranger with no purpose and weight in their lifes.
Why none of them even said that they are proud of her? She won, after all, she won, she won, she won... Victory, her first victory and why couldn't she feel the satisfaction from it? Why did she felt disappointed, fragile and lost, so lost but she shouldn't be, now that she is officially in Scouts. Scouts that will rule over her life, making it close to perfection.
What did she lacked in the ring? Should she end them quicker? Hit harder? Think more strategically as she made them all fall and not rely on her physical strength fully? Maybe she talked to much, maybe she wore a bit too much pride today...
Annie screamed into her pillow. What was wrong with her? Why did everyone decided to inject that in her today? She did nothing wrong, nothing wrong, nothing wrong... She did what she had to do! She had no other choice!
"You are strong, Annie. " She promised herself as there was nobody else to say it. "You are better, better than any of them, even better than Mikasa!"
So why did Annie stated than Mikasa had to lower herself to her level? It was supposed to be Annie who was meant to lower herself to reach them and their poor life of weaklings. She is not worse than them by any mean, it doesn't matter from where do they come from or how strong they truly are, Annie is better than them and it is written in her blood.
She silenced out the feeling of sadness as her brain drove her back to moments where the group of candidates laughed, a group of candidates excluding her. She silenced it all of as she craved for someone to knock and comment on her drawings, today she paint blooded wrists, cut wrists as she was too scared to do it to herself in reality.
Nobody knocked till dawn, and the next dawn, and every next dawn Annie was lonely. But this is what she wanted right? No interruptions, nobody to try to hurt her and break off her armour of perfection and...
Isolation, not loneliness.
She isolated herself so they won't disturb her perfect life, she doesn't need anyone, no, Erwin doesn't have to glance at her for her to know that she is strong.
You are enough, Annie.
A needy tone repeated in her mind manically but no matter how many times it will do that, it will get quieter every year of her life till it won't be there anymore.
And no voice will ever come to her that will say it, no one will hear how much she craved to hear this as she won't let them. She can't. It is not her destiny to waste her life around those idiots!
But some part of her soul still waited for someone to knock and get her out of her destructive mindset.